Wikidude's Quotes Page #5,659

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[After destroying the Mutt Cutts van, Harry and Lloyd are now driving a Zamboni. They beep the horn several times. On a country road, they cut past a tractor. While driving down a road surrounded by trees and bushes, Harry notices that Lloyd is asleep and intentionally drifts to the side of the road so that Lloyd's face hits several bushes, waking him up] Harry: Bush club! Bush club! Bush club! Bush club! [giggles goofily as Lloyd glares in anger at him] [Harry and Lloyd bathe in nuclear waste water from a power-plant. That evening, Harry and Lloyd are back on the road, now glowing green from the water] Lloyd: I feel really good, Har. Harry: Me too! Lloyd: Really good! [The next day, Harry and Lloyd are trying to out-drive a massive tornado] Lloyd: [panicking] You might wanna step on it, Har! [Harry is frantically driving at full speed, while Lloyd is pretending to run, as well as flapping his arms like a flying eagle. The next day, the sky is clear as Harry and Lloyd are driving down a desert road. They pass a road sign that reads "El Paso: 20 miles" and "Juarez, Mexico: 25 miles." Finally, Harry and Lloyd reach El Paso and arrive at the KEN Conference] – Dumb and Dumber To Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Harry: You're hot for my daughter! Lloyd: What? Harry: Am I right? Lloyd: What? Harry: Am I right? Lloyd: That's insane! Harry: Don't deny it, Lloyd! – Dumb and Dumber To Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Dr. Lewis Meldman: [dragging Harry by his arm] You're out of here. You're out. [They run into Adele, accompanied by Dr. Walcott and Captain Lippincott] Harry: [surprised] Mrs. P.! What are you doing here? Dr. Barbara Walcott: Do you always call your wife Mrs. P.? Harry: Oh, uh... How you doing, sugar tits? I missed you. Adele: This man is a fraud. And that box belongs to my husband. He stole it from us. Captain Lippincott: Hand it over, buddy. Harry: Uh-uh. I swore I'd only give this box to Penny. Captain Lippincott: Gimme the box! Harry: Here you go. – Dumb and Dumber To Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[Harry and Lloyd are sitting on the back of a hauler with seats on the back, drinking milkshakes] Lloyd: Oh crap! I ordered a vanilla shake and they give me a chocolate one! Harry: Tell me about it! I ordered a chocolate shake, those jokes gave me a vanilla one! Lloyd: They do that a lot! [They throw both their shakes out without realizing they have each other's shakes; the milkshakes hit the front of a truck behind them and splatter all over the window] Familiar voice: What the HELL!??! [The driver turns out to be a much older Sea Bass] Sea Bass' Friend: Kick his ass Sea Bass! Sea Bass: Those dirty sons of bitches!!! [He pushes the accelerator and pursues them for long-awaited revenge] – Dumb and Dumber To Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[Harry secretly repeats everything Lloyd says to Jessica] Lloyd: You have beautiful eyes! Harry: You have beautiful eyes! Jessica: Thank you. Lloyd: [sees a dog] Hey, where'd you come from? Harry: Hey where'd you come from? Jessica: I was born in St. Louis. Lloyd: Would you like me to pat your head? Harry: Would you like me to pat your head? Lloyd: I bet you want your head scratched. Harry: I bet you want your head scratched. Jessica: No why, we still have a lot to talk about. Lloyd: I bet you... [dog barks at him] Don't you snap at me like that! You're lucky I don't punch you right in the face! Harry: Don't snap at me like that! You're lucky I don't punch you in the face! Lloyd: Oh, I remember you...how could I forget those big hairy nipples. Harry: How could I forget those big hair nipples? Lloyd: I can almost smell your stinky fenuter from here. Harry: I can almost smell your stinky fenuter from here. – Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Walter: You like your butter, huh? We have some margarine if you want, you can just scoop it out of the tub. Harry: No I'm fine, thank you. Jessica's Mom: Oh, hello. Walter: This is uh...Harry. Jessica's Mom: You know, they make that in a womens suit to! (Harry covers himself a little with the jacket) Walter: Jessica were eating! Jessica: Meet me at the front door Lloyd. Jessica's Mom: Well I see you like my rolls. Harry: Sure, I like a women with some meat on her bones. So Charlie, what business you in? Walter: The name's Walter. – Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[Harry and Lloyd are talking to Ching Chong] Harry: We made up a special slogan. Lloyd: Harry, what're you doing? She's a foreign exchange student. She obviously doesn't speak the English. [to Ching Chong] Ching-chong-ching-chingy-chong-ching-chong-ching! – Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Lloyd: Jessica, you give him some yet? Jessica: Some what? Lloyd: You know, SOME. – Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Harry: You two timing slut! And you, I thought you were from St. Louis! I don't ever want to see you again! Walter: (walks into bathroom to see melted chocolate all over the place) Oh, my God. Harry: And I'm leaving! (he does so) Walter: (thinks the chocolate is fecal matter) He shit everywhere. THERE'S SHIT EVERYWHERE! DAMN IT!!! THERE'S SHIT ON THE WINDOWS! OH MY GOD! MY HOUSE IS FULL OF SHIT!! HE SHIT EVERYWHERE!! LOOK WHAT HE DID! HE SHIT ALL OVER THE WALL! GET UP HERE! (his wife screams) Jessica: When can I see you? Lloyd: Uh, how about tonight at eight? Walter: MY HOUSE IS FULL OF BILE! SHIT!! (to his wife) Calm down! Just calm down! Jessica: Th-Thank you Lloyd, I got to go. I got to go for a little peek, see you at eight! Lloyd: Date with Jessica, YEAH! Walter: Look what he did! He shit all over the wall! – Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Lloyd: (He uses Harry as a shield against mud being splattered from a car tire) I got some dirt on my shirt. How gross is this? Harry? Harry: (Harry gets struck by car) Lloyd: WHOA! Harry? You got to look both ways buddy! Harry: (Moans) ...Charlie! Walter: Oh my god...it's you! Your that guy that crapped up my house. What are you- your covered in shit! My car is covered in shit! What are you doing? Oh my god! What is wrong with you? You come back here, I'm not cleaning this up! I'm going to have to have this towed. Come back here! Are you out of your mind? What is it with you and fecal matter, look at this! – Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Jessica: Wipe your feet. My parents are totally anal! Harry: Oh, that's gross! – Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Narrator: Through the snow and sleet and hail.... through the blizzard, through the gale.... through the wind and through the rain.... over mountain, over plain.... through the blinding lightning flash.... and the mighty thunder crash.... ever faithful, ever true.... nothing stops him! He'll get through! – Dumbo Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Lion: [yawning] Oh, dear. – Dumbo Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Smitty: [showing his minions while pointing at Dumbo] Ain't that the funniest thing that you ever saw? [then faces Dumbo] Look at his ears! Baa-ha-ha-ha! [Dumbo is waving his ears to him] Big ee-ee-ee-ears! [flapping his jacket sides to imitate Dumbo's ears] Big ee-ee-ee-ears! – Dumbo Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Timothy: Ya know, Dumbo, we gotta get an idea. Not just any idea. Something colossal! Like, uh-- [The light in the Ringmaster's tent comes on, as he talks to his janitor Joe] Ringmaster: Have I got an idea! What an idea! Timothy: [to Dumbo] Huh. He never had an idea in his life. [starts listening excitedly] Ringmaster: Just visualize! [Joe tries to hang his boss' jacket on his rack but drops it on the ground] Now, one elephant climbs up on top of another elephant until finally.... [taking off his trousers with suspenders attached to them] ....all 17 elephants have constructed an enormous.... [then kicks off his trousers and catches them] ....pyramid of pachyderms! [pulling down on his nightshirt until his head pops up through the collar that causes his top hat to bounce] I step out! I blow the whistle! [then rolls 'R'] The tr-rr-rumpets are tr-rr-rumpeting! [shaking his pointy finger up in the air] And out comes the climax! Joe: [brief silence] Yeah? What is the climax? Ringmaster: [shrugging] Hmm. I don't know. Timothy: [disappointed] I knew that he never had nothin'. Ringmaster: [removing his boots and itches his waist while getting in bed] Well, maybe it comes to me in a vision while I dream. Good night, Joe. [gets under his covers, and light goes out] Joe: Good night, Boss. Timothy: [thinking] Climax.... [struck with an idea] Climax! Dumbo, you're a climax! [hurries away, then comes back] I'll be back in a minute 'cuz I'm gonna take care of your future! – Dumbo Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[Timothy sneaks up to the Ringmaster and whispers to him in his sleep] Timothy: [playing a ghost inside the Ringmaster's bed sheet] I.... am the voice of your subconscious mind. Your inspiration. Now.... concentrate! [is briefly alarmed when he snores] Remember? Your pyramid of elephants are standin' in the ring, waitin' for a climax! Ringmaster: [in his sleep] Climax.... Timothy: You are now getting that climax! Ringmaster: Climax.... Timothy: [in his normal voice; whispering into the Ringmaster's right ear] How's the reception? Comin' through OK? [the Ringmaster grunts] Good. [takes off his "ghost" disguise] Suddenly, from the sidelines comes your climax! Ringmaster: Climax.... Timothy: Gallopin' across the arena! Ringmaster: Arena.... Timothy: He jumps from a springboard to a platform! Ringmaster: Platform.... Timothy: At the very pinnacle of your pyramid, he waves a flag for a glorious finish! Ringmaster: Finish.... Timothy: And who is your climax? The little elephant with the big ears! The world's mightiest midget mastodon! [screams bloody murder to his ear] DUMBO!!!! Ringmaster: [grunting, starting to wake up] What? Timothy: [backing away] Dumbo! Ringmaster: Dumbo.... Timothy: [even further away] Dumbo! Ringmaster: Dumbo.... Timothy: [even further away, whispering] Dumbo.... Ringmaster: Dumbo--! [fully awake, excited] I GOT IT! I GOT IT!! – Dumbo Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Ringmaster: Ladies and gentlemen! We will now present----for your entertainment----the most stupendous, magnificent, super-colossal spectacle! On this tiny, little, insignificant ball, we will construct for you a pyramid---- [his shirt front rolls up to his chin, but he adjusts it] ----not of wood, not of stone, not of steel, blah blah blah blah.... Catty: [quietly to the Matriarch] Hear him talk to think that he is going to do it. Matriarch Elephant: [nodding] That stuffed shirt. Ringmaster: ....but a living, breathing pyramid of ponderous, pulsating.... [screams bloody murder] ....PULCHRITUDINOUS PACHYDERMS!!!! [his shirt front rolls up to his chin again, but he readjusts it, quiet and refined again] I give you the elephants. – Dumbo Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[As the elephants form a pyramid, climbing on top of each other] Prissy: Gaining a little weight, are you not, honey? Catty: You're no cream puff yourself, dearie! Matriarch Elephant: [from the bottom] Quiet up there! And tend to your work, girls. – Dumbo Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Matriarch Elephant: Take your foot out of my eye! [turns to give Prissy a serious frown] Clumsy ox! – Dumbo Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Matriarch Elephant: [to a fleeing Dumbo while rolling on the circus ball with her elephant minions all piled up on her] Out of my way, you li'l assassin, you! – Dumbo Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Matriarch Elephant: [raising her wounded trunk from her sling in serious anger] I swear I would like nothing better than to spank the living daylights out of him-- Oh! Ohh! Ohhhhhhh!!!! [groaning in serious pain while placing her trunk back on her sling] – Dumbo Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[4 crows find Dumbo and Timothy asleep in a tree] Glasses Crow: Well, lookee here! Lookee here! Preacher Crow: My, my! Why, this is the most irregular sight that I've ever seen! Straw Hat Crow: [rubbing his eyes] Well, I just can't believe my eyes! Glasses Crow: They ain't dead, is they? Fat Crow: [smirks] No. Dead people don't snore. [looks unsure] Or do they? [The crows quietly confer with each other, when Jim "Dandy" Crow swoops down] Jim "Dandy" Crow: What's all the ruckus? [shooing his 4 baby brothers away] C'mon! Step aside, brother! Mmm.... what's cookin' 'round here? What's the good news? What's fryin', boys? Hello?! Glasses Crow: Just look down there, brother! Fat Crow: And prepare yourself for a shock! Jim "Dandy" Crow: [looks down and sees Dumbo and Timothy sleeping on a very fragile tree branch] O-HO!! Well, hush my beak! Straw Hat Crow: Go ahead. Wake 'em up, brother. Glasses Crow: Yeah, find out what they're doin' up here. Preacher Crow: Yeah. Fat Crow: And ask 'em what they want. Jim "Dandy" Crow: OK, boys. Leave it to me. – Dumbo Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Timothy: [groaning] Oooooooohhhhhh, those pink elephants. Jim "Dandy" Crow: Oh! [points at Timothy to show his brothers] Pink elephants! Mmmm-mm! [the crows laugh] Timothy: What's so funny? What are you "boids" doin' down here, anyway? Jim "Dandy" Crow: What are we doin' down here?! [points at Timothy again to them] Well, hear him talk! [the crows laugh again] Timothy: Fly up a tree where you belong. Jim "Dandy" Crow: Say, look here, Brother Rat-- Timothy: [jolts up in serious fury] Brother Rat?! Really?! Now, listen! I ain't your brother, and I ain't no rat! See?! Jim "Dandy" Crow: Uh-huh. And I suppose that you and no elephant ain't up in no tree, either?! [the crows laugh again] Timothy: [angrily] No, me and no tree ain't up no--Tree? – Dumbo Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Timothy: I wonder how we ever got up in that tree, anyway. Now, let's see. Elephants can't climb trees, can they? Nah, nah, that's ridiculous. Couldn't jump up. Mm-mm, it's too high. Jim "Dandy" Crow: [butting in] Hey there, son! Maybe y'all flew up? Timothy: Maybe we flew up. Yeah, maybe we-- [excited] That's it! Dumbo! You flew! Boy, am I stupid. Why did I not think of this before?! Your ears! Just look at 'em, Dumbo--why, they're perfect wings! The very things that held ya down are gonna carry ya.... [flapping his arms to raise himself up off the ground while screaming bloody murder] ....UP.... AND UP.... AND UP!!!! [lands on the ground] I can see it all now! [still screams bloody murder in serious excitement] DUMBO! THE 9TH WONDER OF THE "UNIVOISE"! THE "WOILD'S" ONLY FLYING ELEPHANT!!!! [The crows laugh hysterically] Glasses Crow: Did you ever see an elephant fly? Preacher Crow: Well, I've seen a horse fly. Fat Crow: Ah, I've seen a dragon fly. Straw Hat Crow: [giggling] I've seen a house fly! Jim "Dandy" Crow: Well, I've seen all that, too! [singing] I seen a peanut stand and heard a rubber band! And I seen a needle that winked its eye! But I be done seen about everything when I see a elephant fly! Fat Crow: Whatchu say, boy? – Dumbo Movie Quote	added 5 years ago

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