Search results for 'spongebob' Page #15

Nat Peterson:
Hooray for SpongeBob! He's our hero!

[The townsfolk cheer. But their cheering shakes the ladder even more.]

SpongeBob:
No! Ahh! Ohh--ow!

[The ladder crumbles and all of the trash as well as SpongeBob, Old Man Jenkins, and the townsfolk are sent crashing down to Bikini Bottom. The city is now a complete mess with trash.]

Old Man Jenkins:
[pops out from the trash, grabs a bottle cap and a fork, and stands on Nat Peterson's head] I'm King Neptune! King of the seven seas, the lakes, rivers, puddles... [spits saliva into a spittoon] And spit too! I'm the king of spit!

King Neptune:
[off-screen] So you're the king of spit? [thunder roars]

Old Man Jenkins:
[nervously] Uh-oh.

[Out from the clouds, the real King Neptune appears on his chariot and he's not very happy.]

King Neptune:
"Uh-oh" is right.

[Old Man Jenkins stands scared as Nat Peterson, upon seeing the real King Neptune, whimpers in fear. He grabs a suitcase and runs away. King Neptune ignites his trident and zaps Old Man Jenkins, burning him to a crisp.]

Old Man Jenkins:
I smell like toast. Am I breakfast? [bites off his hand] Needs jelly.

Mr. Krabs:
[comes by and notices the pile of trash. He also notices SpongeBob's hands sticking out from underneath] Hmm? [pulls out a mortally wounded SpongeBob] Ooh, well, look at that. Someone threw away a good SpongeBob standee. [laughs and throws SpongeBob in his truck-load of SpongeBob-standees] Yagh! [closes the trunk] Oof! [climbs in the truck] Ugh. [drives away with his truck, carrying SpongeBob and the standees inside]

SpongeBob:
They called me a hero.

Nurse:
You can't dump your garbage here, sir

SpongeBob:
Oh, that's not garbage. That's my friend, Squidward. We're here to check in. [removes the trashcan off of Squidward, and his nose is covered with garbage]

Nurse:
Holy nostroly! You must be here for the nose job. Let's, uh… get your paperwork filled out.

Officer Malley (Green):
Freeze! Your joyride's over, punk. [police officers walk over]

Mrs. Puff:
No! What? [policemen arrest SpongeBob this time, because he now failed the driving test] Huh? What?

SpongeBob:
No. No! What are you doing?! Help! Help! [As the officers carry him to the jail vehicle, he kicks his legs.] No, no, please! No! I have a snail to feed! I can't go to jail now! This is not a good time! No, please, please! I'm not a criminal! [They throw him into the back of the police car, then drives off to jail]

Mrs. Puff:
I can't believe it. It was all a dream. I'm not going to jail!

Officer Malley (Orange):
Why would you go to jail? You already did your time. [zoom out to reveal Mrs. Puff wearing prison striped clothes of black and white with a prison ball chained to her ankle. She screams]

Officer Nancy:
Good work, SpongeBob. You put the Strangler behind bars.

Strangler:
At least I'm safe from that yellow idiot. (Patrick is in the same cell as the Strangler)

Patrick:
Hey, Mac, what're you in for?

Officer Rob:
How about some lollipops for the road, boys? [gives 2 lollipops]

SpongeBob:
Let's vow never to borrow anything without permission again.

Patrick:
You said it! [the two cross their lollipops, but Patrick's is already eaten] All right! Which one of you flatfoots stole my lollipop? [they laugh] I mean it.

Oh, my Karen. Oh, my Karen.'

Oh, my computer wife, Karen.

I was blinded, yes, I was blinded,

I was blinded by the light of your cathode ray.

Oh, I built you, yes, I built you,

I built you in the - ehhh... erm...

In the shape of a cube!

Oh, my Karen. Oh, my Karen.

You'll never know how much I love your vacuum tubes!

[Plankton hugs one of Karen's lightbulbs. Karen smiles, Plankton, SpongeBob, and Patrick bow, and the song ends]

Karen:
[sniffles] That was so beautiful.

Plankton:
You really liked it?

Karen:
I loved it! But not as much as I love you, Plankton.

Plankton:
I l... l... love you, too! [Bikini Bottom citizens, including SpongeBob, rush in and say "Aw."] So, can I have my present now?

Karen:
Of course, my little overlord. Now loading the Krabby Patty Formula...

SpongeBob:
They're such a lovely couple. [sniffs before he suddenly gasps] The Krabby Patty Formula?!

Plankton:
Yes! You porous kitchen utensil! By helping me woo my computer wife, you've just doomed the Krusty Krab! [laughs evilly]

SpongeBob:
Oh no! I've got to stop it before it's too late.

Karen:
45% Loaded.

SpongeBob:
[presses several buttons on a computer keyboard] Control, Alt, Delete.

Karen:
55% Loaded.

SpongeBob:
[smashes against the computer keyboard] How do you turn this thing off?!

Plankton:
Get your hands off my wife!

Karen:
65% Loaded.

SpongeBob:
[gasps] The plug. [Plankton gasps] Ha! You lose, Plankton.

Plankton:
[sarcastically] Oh no. You unplugged the coffee maker, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob:
[gulps] I am so fired.

Karen:
Loading Krabby Patty Formula...

Plankton:
Here it comes!

Karen:
Oh, Plankton, you've made me so happy.

Plankton:
That's fantastic. Where's that formula?

Karen:
[cries happily with tears of joy] I'm crying. What's going on? [starts to spark electric sparks]

Plankton:
Karen, what's wrong? Have you sprung a leak?

Karen:
No. I'm just so happy! I'm crying with tears of joy!

Plankton:
But you're shorting out!

Karen:
I'm just--. The Krabby... Patty... Formula... loading... completed.

Plankton:
Yes!

SpongeBob:
NO! [the text on the screen blurs and the word "ERROR" appears on the screen]

Plankton:
NO!

SpongeBob:
Yes! I'm saved! Your wife exploded! [puts up his arms with victory; Plankton makes a serious face] Um... happy anniversary, you guys. [scratches his head, shrugs, and leaves]

Karen:
Rebooting... Loading E.M.I.L.P...

Plankton:
E.M.I.L.P.? What's E.M.I.L.P.?!

Karen:
Emergency Mother In-Law Program.

Plankton:
Oh, no.

E.M.I.L.P.:
Plankton, what have you done to my daughter?! You made her cry! [Plankton groans] You know, she could have been with an ATM! Someone with money! But she chose you! I don't know why!

Old Man Jenkins:
Hey, I saw you on TV last night.

SpongeBob:
You did?

Old Man Jenkins:
Yeah, you were in a commercial!

[Match-cut to a commercial for "Bran Flakes" that Old Man Jenkins saw]

SpongeBob:
You're right, I was! Wow, he recognized me! Well, I have to go to work. See you later, old man!

Old Man Jenkins:
Yep, see you later Bran Flakes! What a nice cereal box...

Painty:
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

[SpongeBob opens the door, still in his underwear.]

Kids:
GrandPat Sea Star!

[GrandPat crushes SpongeBob and Hans gives him SpongeBob's pants.]

GrandPat:
Huh? [falls into a bathtub] Woah!

Painty:
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he.

[GrandPat's skin falls off and his bones disintegrate in the bathtub.]

Kids:
GrandPat Sea Star!

Painty:
If nautical nonsense be something you wish.

[Four GrandPats groan as they pull four banners that spell out "GrandPat Sea Star."]

Kids:
GrandPat Sea Star!

Realistic Fish Head:
Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!

Kids:
GrandPat Sea Star!

Painty:
Ready?

Kids and Painty:
GrandPat Sea Star! GrandPat Sea Star! GrandPat Sea Star! [GrandPat mumbles as his body contorts until he's back to his sea star shape. He falls, screaming, onto some letters spelling out his name. His pants fall off and hop across the letters. His scooter then falls from above and pushes him down.]

Painty:
GrandPat... Sea Star! [laughs]

[We cut to the SpongeBob SquarePants logo as shown in the regular theme song, but the text is changed to Grandpat's own name, and it appewrs alongside a drawn GrandPat. GrandPat pulls out his dentures and they chatter the ending notes of the SpongeBob theme song. His dentures then bite his head.]

Patchy:
For instance, did you know that SpongeBob was not the first choice to star in the show? [gasps] Hard to believe, I know. Watch these opening themes, and you'll see why he was eventually picked.

[The classic film countdown happens. Painty is shown.]

Painty:
Are you ready, kids?

Kids:
Aye, aye, Captain.

Painty:
I can't hear you.

Kids:
Aye, aye, Captain!

Painty:
Oh... [Bikini Atoll is shown. The bubble transition goes until it shows Squidward's house] ♪Who lives in a monument under the sea?♪

[The door opens and Squidward is shown with pants. He looks down in shock. Hans takes the pants off and Squidward smiles.]

Kids:
♪Squidward Tentacles!♪ [Squidward falls into a bathtub and his head expands]

Painty:
♪Obnoxious, abrasive, conceded is he!♪ [water comes out of Squidward's mouth and it covers the screen. One it clears, his name is shown in bubbles]

Kids:
♪Squidward Tentacles!♪ [the name bubbles pop]

Painty:
[as Squidward is shown four times riding his recumbent bicycle with part of his name behind each of the bikes] ♪If practical common sense be something you wish...♪

Kids:
♪Squidward Tentacles!♪

Patchy:
[off-screen] Neeext!

[The classic film countdown happens again. Painty is shown but with a different mouth.]

Painty:
Are you ready, kids?

Kids:
Aye, aye, Captain.

Painty:
I can't hear you.

Kids:
Aye, aye, Captain!

Painty:
Oh... [Bikini Atoll is shown. The bubble transition goes until it shows Patrick's house] ♪Who lives like a barnacle under the sea?♪

Kids:
♪Patrick Sea Star!♪ [the rock opens and Patrick is shown in his underwear. Hans puts his pants on]

Patrick:
[laughs] Whoa! [falls and starts guffawing]

Patchy:
[off-screen] Nope!

[The classic film countdown happens again and Painty is shown for the third time, but with another different mouth.]

Painty:
Are you ready, kids?

Kids:
Aye, aye, Captain.

Painty:
I can't hear you.

Kids:
Aye, aye, Captain!

Painty:
Oh... [Bikini Atoll is shown. The bubble transition goes until it shows Mr. Krabs' house] ♪Who lives in an anchor under the sea?♪

Kids:
[the door opens to show Mr. Krabs kissing a bag of money. Hans appears and pulls it away] ♪Eugene Krabs does!♪

Mr. Krabs:
Hey!

Painty:
♪Crusty and red and greedy is he.♪ [the scene shows Hans taking the bag away. Mr. Krabs is following him]

Mr. Krabs:
Come back with me money! [money starts to fall out and Mr. Krabs grabs it]

Kids:
♪Eugene Krabs does!♪ [Mr. Krabs passes some money and goes back to it and picks it up]

Painty:
♪If stingy and greedy is something you wish...♪

Kids:
♪Eugene Krabs does!♪

Mr. Krabs:
Money, money, money, money, money, money.

Patchy:
[the scene returns to him] Ugh. Pretty cruddy, huh, kids?

Patchy:
Well, Potty, I guess you were right. The future is cool.

Potty:
Just when to show you, there's no hard feelings and I got you a present from prehistoric times.

Patchy:
Oh, what is it, a new loincloth?

Potty:
No.

Patchy:
An enlarged forehead?

Potty:
No.

Patchy:
Oh, what is it?!

[Potty opens the door, revealing a T-rex, which growls at Patchy. Patchy screams, his eyes bugging out, and he runs out. The t-rex gives chase.]

Patchy:
POTTY!! [continues screaming as he runs off]

Potty:
[watches from the window with popcorn and a soda, squawk] This is great.

[The dinosaur has grabbed Patchy, who screams. Patchy is on his side, his feet inside the t-rex's jaws]

Patchy:
[screaming, then stops] Well, thanks for watching SpongeBob B.C., kids. Bye! [continues screaming, then laughing] Now he's tickling! Cut it out, you rascal! [continues laughing]

Patrick :
This is serious, SpongeBob. Someone’s after me, I think I better leave town.

SpongeBob:
Patrick, I threw it, we’re having a snowball fight, don’t you get it?

Patrick:
Snowball fight? I wanna play, I wanna play!

Patrick Star:
[throwing his shoe at Snail Squidward, who, along with Gary and Snail SpongeBob, are meowing at the moon] Will you clam up?!

Patrick-Man:
Hey, where'd he come from?

SpongeBob:
[gasps] The Dirty Bubble?!

Patrick-Man:
The Dirty Bubble? I wanted to unmask Man Ray.

Patrick:
Okay, SpongeBob, you're ready!

Patrick:
(inside Spongebob) Help! I'm drowning, I've got butt cramps, I want ice cream, and now it's daaaark!

Patrick:
Are you gonna listen to a big dummy, or are you gonna listen to me?

SpongeBob:
Uhh...

Patrick:
D'oh, c'mon, you're just flipping patties.

SpongeBob:
Hey, flipping is not as easy as it sounds!

[Patrick flips over a rock with his foot and makes a sizzling noise]

SpongeBob:
Why don't you go home Patrick, you can compete in the "Laying Under A Rock All Day" games!

Patrick:
[shocked] Well at least I don't polish my fingernails!

SpongeBob:
[gasps] You take that back! [a gleam shows at the tip of his fingernails]

Patrick:
[mocking] Fingernails, fingernails, fingernails!

SpongeBob:
You don't even have fingernails!

Patrick:
[shocked] I CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT I AM HEARING!

SpongeBob:
HOW CAN YOU HEAR IT?! YOU DON'T HAVE EARS EITHER!

Patrick:
[thinking of a way to say something about SpongeBob then spots SpongeBob's holes] HOLES, HOLES!

SpongeBob:
Conehead!

Patrick:
Yellow!

SpongeBob:
Pink!

Patrick:
D'oh, come on, you're just flipping Patties.

SpongeBob:
Hey, flipping is not as easy as it sounds! [Patrick flips over a rock with his foot and makes a sizzling noise] Why don't you go home, Patrick? You can compete in the "Laying Under a Rock All Day" Games.

Patrick:
Well, at least, I don't polish my fingernails!

SpongeBob:
[gasps] You take that back! [a gleam shows at the tip of his fingernails]

Patrick:
[mocking] Fingernails, fingernails, fingernails!

SpongeBob:
You don't even have fingernails!

Patrick:
I cannot believe what I am hearing!

SpongeBob:
How can you hear?! You don't have ears either!

Patrick:
Er...Holes, holes!

SpongeBob:
Conehead!

Patrick:
Yellow!

SpongeBob:
Pink!

Patrick:
Do I know you, young man?

SpongeBob:
Patrick, it's me! Remember? [sings his theme song] Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Patrick:
I don't know... uh, a wizard?

SpongeBob:
[jumps in a bath] Absorbent and yellow and porous is he! [water squirts out of him] Eeurrgh…

Patrick:
S-SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob:
[plays the nose flute in the tune of the end of his song] Bahahaha! The one and only!

Patrick:
Don't worry, Squidward. I know how much you wanted to win, so I had the trophy engraved to you.

Squidward:
Gosh Patrick, thanks. [reads the inscription] "The First Place Snail Racing Cup Presented To Squidward...TORTELLINI?" Will I ever win?

[They all laugh; then Sandy appears and kicks SpongeBob's backside, sending him flying out of the stadium in doing so]

Sandy:
THAT'S FOR YESTERDAY, SQUAREPANTS!

Patrick:
Good morning, Krusty Krew!

SpongeBob:
Hey, Patrick!

Patrick:
Guess what? The carnival's in town! Come on, let's go!

SpongeBob:
I can't leave now, I'm working.

Patrick:
It's not leaving. You're just taking a break.

[SpongeBob grins and slithers silently out of the Krusty Krab kitchen to join Patrick]

PATRICK:
He only liked me for my shorts!

SPONGEBOB:
No, Patrick, he wanted the cookie in your pocket.

( Gary pulls a cookie out of Patrick's pocket and eats it )

Patrick:
Hey SpongeBob, you're goin' the wrong way!

SpongeBob:
I always go to work this way.

Patrick:
You're not going to work today, we're gonna go play Hooky!

SpongeBob:
But, Patrick, we promised.

Patrick:
Well, I had my fingers crossed.

SpongeBob:
You don't have any fingers, Patrick.

Patrick:
Well, that Mr. Krabs is just a big dummy! We played on those hooks all day long, and nothin' happened to us!

SpongeBob:
But Mr. Krabs said --

Patrick:
Look, SpongeBob. Are you gonna listen to a big dummy, or are you gonna listen to me?

SpongeBob:
Uuuuuummmmmm...

Patrick:
Hey! Stop that beard!

SpongeBob:
Patrick! It's not a beard! It's a sea urchin! It must've been sleeping on your face until your tears awoke it from its hibernation.

Patrick:
How do you know my name!?

SpongeBob:
Because, Mr. Patrick Star... [takes off his hat] ...you told me.

Patrick:
SpongeBob!

SpongeBob:
Patrick! [hugs him]

Patrick:
Oh, please! You can call me Patrick! [The crowd cheers for SpongeBob and Patrick until they are interrupted by Squidward]

Squidward:
Quiet! Hold it! Stop it right there! I am ashamed and disgusted by you people! I mean, don't you know a terrible performance when you see it!?

Fish:
Yes! We do!

Squidward:
That's what I thought you... [gets a tomato tossed right in his face] No, no! I didn't mean it like that! It was- [gets bombarded with even more fruit]

SpongeBob and Patrick:
[laughing] Food fight! [The episode ends with SpongeBob, Patrick, and the crowd throwing food]