Search results for 'spongebob' Page #3

SpongeBob:
Hi, Squidward! I mean, good bye, Squidward! Isn't opposite day...terrible!

Squidward:
[from his house] I'll tell you what's terrible-- living next to you! You're the worst neighbor in history!

SpongeBob:
Wow, that's the nicest thing Squidward's ever said to me!

SpongeBob:
Hmm, let's see, paper towels. [takes a roll off the shelf] This one says "best paper towel around." [takes another roll off the shelf] This one says "best paper towel in town." Hmm. [comparing the two] In town, around, in town, around. [turns to the Tattletale Strangler] What do you think bodyguard?

Tattle-tale Strangler:
[irritated] Whichever gets us to your house quicker!

SpongeBob:
I'll take both!

SpongeBob:
I tried, Mr. Plankton... I really did.

Plankton:
Oh, what now?

SpongeBob:
A customer ordered a medium soda and I gave him a large! I GAVE HIM A LARGE! I've soiled the good Krusty Krab name! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! [continues]

Plankton:
[points finger at SpongeBob] I command you to stop that. Stop that and return to your post! [pokes at SpongeBob] Where's the off button on this thing?!

Pearl:
That's it, daddy! I've decided I'm going to run away! Run away and find a new daddy!

Plankton:
MAKE IT STOP! [an alarm goes off] What, did I say the secret word?

SpongeBob:
No, sir. He’s back.

Plankton:
Who’s back? What? [something red flashes past] What was that?!

SpongeBob:
MAN YOUR STATIONS!!!!! RED ALERT!!!!! RED ALERT!!!!! Take cover!

SpongeBob:
I'm every bit as cool as Larry. And if I'm not, let me be struck by-- [lightning flashes overhead] --a flying ice cream truck! [a flying ice cream truck plummets in Spongebob's direction] AND LIVE!

[The flying ice cream truck stops just above SpongeBob, then drops onto him gently]

Larry:
[through megaphone] PLEASE DO NOT LAND FLYING ICE CREAM TRUCKS ON THE BATHERS.

SpongeBob:
I'M SORRY I CALLED YOU A STUPID STAR!

Patrick:
I'M SORRY I GOT YOU IN TROUBLE AND GOT YOU MOVED TO THE BACK OF THE CLASS AND GOT YOUR GOOD NOODLE STAR REMOVED AND SHOT THE SPITBALLS--

SpongeBob:
I'M SORRY YOUR APOLOGY IS SO LONG!

Patrick:
ME TOO! LET'S SAVE ROGER!

SpongeBob:
Isn't this great, Squidward? Just you and me together for hours and hours and hours, and then the sun will come up, and it'll be tomorrow, and we'll still be working! [gasps] It'll be just like a sleepover! Only we'll be sweaty and covered with grease! ARE YOU READY TO ROCK SQUIDWARD?

Squidward:
No.

SpongeBob:
GOOD! 'Cause we got CUSTOMERS!

Squidward:
Here. [hands a baseball bat to a customer] Please hit me as hard as you can.

SpongeBob:
Hey Squidward. I'm working in the kitchen. [giggles] At night.

Squidward:
[tilts his head sideways to the customer with the bat] Don't hold back.

SpongeBob:
Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs:
What, what, what?

SpongeBob:
Patrick, Patrick, Patrick!

Mr. Krabs:
Yes, yes, yes?

SpongeBob:
He said, he said, he said!

Mr. Krabs:
Out with it, boy!

SpongeBob:
Me and Patrick were playing Eels and Escelators and he was going up up up and I had to ride the eels and then we ran and Patrick he said some things.

Mr. Krabs:
What kind of things?

SpongeBob:
Well, he said...

Mr. Krabs:
Yes?

SpongeBob:
Well, um, let's just say he said a certain word that you said he shouldn't say, and this particular word happens to be word #11 on a list of 13 words that you said shouldn't be said!

Mr. Krabs:
Uh, right, what was that part about what, what, the...uh...about...who now?

SpongeBob:
Oh, no, Squidward! Wait! There's cheese on these patties!

Squidward:
And?

SpongeBob:
Bubble Buddy's lactose intolerant. He can't eat cheese! What should we do?

Squidward:
[angry] We?! How about you take these patties and--

Mr. Krabs:
[offscreen] Mr. Squidward!

SpongeBob:
Patrick's right, Squidward. Sea bears are no laughing matter. Like, once, I met this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy's cousin--

Squidward:
You're right! I should be more careful.

SpongeBob:
Patrick, say that again.

Patrick:
That again.

SpongeBob:
No, the other thing.

Patrick:
No, the other thing.

SpongeBob:
No, what you said before when you--

Patrick:
No, what you said before when you...

SpongeBob:
Never mind! I've got an idea.

Patrick:
Never mind! I've got an idea.

[SpongeBob looks at Patrick, annoyed]

SpongeBob:
Remember, Patrick, focus. [walks up to house and knocks on door, the tenant answers]

Purple fish:
Yes?

Spongebob:
Good evening, sir. We're selling chocolate bars.

[Patrick's eyes zoom in and out of his head towards the customer]

Purple fish:
Why is chubby here staring at me?

Patrick:
Focusing...

[the customer backs into his house with Patrick's eyes following him]

Purple fish:
Back up, Jack! [slams his door on Patrick's eyes and they look around]

Patrick:
Nice place you got here!

SpongeBob:
Score one for the boys back home!

SpongeBob:
Squidward! You're just in time to enlist in my army! Join me, and we'll defeat the Pink Menace!

Patrick:
That's me!

Squidward:
Thanks but no thanks Major Stupidity. You and General Nonsense over there will have to fight without me!

SpongeBob:
Wait a minute! [seizes Bubble Bass' tongue and holds it up for all to see] Look, he's been hiding the pickles under his tongue the whole time!

Mr. Krabs:
And there's the pickles from last time, too!

Lady:
And there's my car keys!

[The angry crowd surrounds Bubble Bass on every side]

Bubble Bass:
[nervously] And...there's my ride!

[Bubble Bass bolts out of the Krusty Krab]

SpongeBob:
You said you would bring Krabby the Clown. But all I saw out there was...Cheapy the Cheapskate!

Mr. Krabs:
Hey, I ain't cheap! [rubs the clown nose on his shirt, which turns out red] Now, put this tomato in the oven before it spoils.

SpongeBob:
[hysterically] DOESN'T ANYBODY KNOW HOW TO TIE A KNOT?!

SpongeBob:
[Leans over towards a fish in the audience] Excuse me, sir. I hope my horrible ugliness won't be a distraction to you.

Fish:
Not at all, boy. [He catches a whiff of Spongebob's breath and shrieks in disgust] DEUUEAUGH!

SpongeBob:
[singing]

Mr. Sun came up and he smiled at me

He said, it's gonna be a good one just wait and see!

Jumped out of bed and I ran outside

Feeling so extra-ecstatticfied!

It's the best day ever!

Best day ever!

[On the first part, his house is on fire]

SpongeBob:
[to Squidward] What about all you said about him having a dirty ship and being lazy and all?

Squidward:
[nervously] Ha, I-I never s-said that.

Flying Dutchman:
Insulting a man's ship... be worse than insulting his mother.

SpongeBob:
No, no, wait, it was his mother you said was dirty, not his ship!

The Flying Dutchman shoots fire out of his nose at Squidward, who screams in pain.

SpongeBob:
[to the Dirty Bubble] You're my favorite supervillain. Can I get your autograph? [pulls out paper and a sharp pencil]

Dirty Bubble:
[in shock] No! No! Stay back! Watch the point! Nooooo-- [SpongeBob pops him]

SpongeBob:
[trying to get Squidward to eat a Krabby Patty] If you try it, you'll love it!

Squidward:
Try one of those radioactive sludge balls you call food? Next, I suppose you'll want me to go square-dancing with Patrick!

SpongeBob:
[to Patrick, who is dressed as a cowboy] Sorry, Patrick.

[Patrick whimpers and walks away]

SpongeBob:
[trying to get Squidward to join them in all the Christmas fun] C'mon Squidward!, What have you got to lose?

Squidward:
My sanity, my dignity, my self-respect, my lunch.

SpongeBob:
[wearing a dress, speaking in heavy feminine country accent] Oh, my. This purse is so big and heavy.

Patrick:
[wearing robber garb] Hold it right there, ma'am. I'll be taking that! [grabs purse]

SpongeBob:
[screams] Hay-ulp! Hay-ulp! Hay-ulp! [Barnacle Boy stomps over]

Patrick:
[hiding] It's working!

SpongeBob:
Why, are you here to rescue little ol' me?

Barnacle Boy:
PIPE DOWN! You're gonna wake Mermaid Man and he's ornery when his nap is disturbed. [Mermaid Man is seen with his face frozen in place]

SpongeBob:
Ever alert, Mermaid Man has trained himself to sleep with his eyes open!

Barnacle Boy:
Confound it! Get away from him!

Mermaid Man:
[to Barnacle Boy] STOP SHOUTIN'! I'M NAPPIN'!

Barnacle Boy:
IT'S NOT ME, YA OL' COOT!!!!!!

Senior #1:
Yes!

Senior #2:
That's me!

Senior #3:
I'm over here!

Squidward:
It's freezing in here! How cold does Krabs keep this place anyway? [looks at the thermostat which reads 62 degrees, much to his disgust] 62 DEGREES!? [with confidence] I'm gonna set to a toasty 63. [turns the thermostat dial slightly clockwise; an siren goes off and a red light flashes]

Mr. Krabs:
[bursts through the door to his office] WHOOOOO TOUCHED ME THERMOSTAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!? [everyone points to Squidward]

Squidward:
[to Spongebob] Oh, thanks a-- [Mr. Krabs grabs him in the jugular]

Spongebob:
You're welcome, Squidward.

Mr. Krabs:
Squidward, you're always going on about your book club. READ THIS!! [points to a poster above the thermostat that reads "DO NOT TOUCH THERMOSTAT EVER!]

Squidward:
Do not touch thermostat ever. [Mr. Krabs sets it back]

Mr. Krabs:
HEAT COSTS MONEY!! There's two ways to get on me bad side, boys. I don't like kids playing in me yard, and nobody but me, touches me thermostat!

Squidward:
That's totally selfish!

Spongebob:
Yeah! Your yard is really fun! There are kids playing in it right now.

Mr. Krabs:
WHAT?!?!?!?!