Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #17

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 6,984 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Doug Prishpreed:
Hey, sports fans. Tomorrow's cannon shoot is postponed. This is bad news for cannon.

Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Dr. Steve Brule:
So, we got some money from Denny's library card. Now we're gonna play Backtrack.

Blackjack Guy:
Would you like to place a bet?

Dr. Steve Brule:
I'm good all the way. Take them all. Come on, Backcheck!

Dr. Steve Brule:
[to Blackjack Guy] Don't forget I know about card crowning. Shh!

[as the Blackjack Guy puts out all the cards down on desk, Dr. Brule follows the cards and counts them in his head]

Dr. Steve Brule:
Ah! [gets a joker card] Blackjack! Pay up, sucker.

Blackjack Guy:
No blackjack.

Dr. Steve Brule:
What are you talking about? I didn't want that one. I said maybe I'll have another one.

Blackjack Guy:
You asked for a hit, sir.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Just let me have some of those back.

Blackjack Guy:
You're gonna have to behave yourself--

Dr. Steve Brule:
Let's just share our chips.

Blackjack Guy:
You have to control yourself. I'm gonna have to call the pit boss.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Just relax. Come on! Let's be friends.

Pit Boss #1:
Playing's over, sir. Come with us, sir.

Dr. Steve Brule:
WHAT?!

Pit Boss #2:
It's okay.

Pit Boss #1:
Come on. Let's go.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Come on, you guys. Just -- Just relax. It's just a game. Who cares? [laughing] IT'S JUST A GAME! WHO CARES!

[Dr. Brule tries to get away the 2nd time, but failed]

Dr. Steve Brule:
[to one of the pit bosses] B*tch.

Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Dr. Steve Brule:
Wh--What's the first grambling to do? You go to the best machine, of course, you dingus. [chuckles] I found out the easiest one. Me and Denny already figured it out. What's the easiest one? It pays every time. We win every time.

Dr. Steve Brule:
You give 1 of paper against 4 of coin. [chuckles] Just take your paper money. Make sure the mushroom's on top. Then you put it in the hole. And then just wait.

[as Dr. Brule puts the money into the ATM slot, the ATM shoots out coins]

Dr. Steve Brule:
Jackpot!

Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Dr. Steve Brule:
Crashinos have been around for thousands of years. Who started grambling? Who was the first big-time riverboat grambler? Who cares? Probably some hunk who said, "Want to bet? Huh"? What are you waiting for? Let's go gramble.

Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Dr. Steve Brule:
Tell me about, uh -- About h-how you make money.

Ronald Barker:
Well, basically, I play, um, um, blackjack, and I use a counting system called high-low.

Dr. Steve Brule:
I know.

Ronald Barker:
Basically, it's a counting system that you use--

Dr. Steve Brule:
You gonna do a magic trick? My Uncle Gary is a magician, and he knows all -- All kinds of card tricks.

Ronald Barker:
[chuckles] But we'll get back to Blackjack. The reason why you're betting in blackjack is--

Dr. Steve Brule:
Wh--What if you -- You use coin money or paper money in a crasino?

Ronald Barker:
Oh, typically, you're gonna use chips. What you're gonna do is --

Dr. Steve Brule:
Like Tortilla chips.

Ronald Barker:
No, no tortilla chips. We us gambling chips.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Oh, or sour-cream-and-onion chips for your health.

Ronald Barker:
I tell ya, if they were scented that way, more people would probably play.

Dr. Steve Brule:
I know.

Ronald Barker:
When you're counting cards, you're basically watching the hands come out.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Well, all this talk about chips is making me hungry. Denny, give me some chips.

[Denny gives Dr. Brule some chips]

Ronald Barker:
And so when we're playing blackjack, if the dealer has a face card up, we assume that the card down is a face card, but we'll show one hand. So, we got an 8, and we got am 18. So, basically, on 18 -- Very close to 21 -- You might want to stay.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Hit me. [quickly eats a chip]

Ronald Barker:
28. We just lost.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Want some chips?

Ronald Barker:
No, I think I'm gonna pass right now.

Dr. Steve Brule:
[mumbles]

Ronald Barker:
Alright. We'll run another one.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Who cares? I have a whole bowl.

Ronald Barker:
Now you have a 13 against a 9.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Hit me.

Ronald Barker:
Hit you?

Dr. Steve Brule:
[gurgles] Okay.

Ronald Barker:
So, basically, do you want to play another hand?

Dr. Steve Brule:
That's enough of this dribble-drabble. I think I got the brasics down. Let's go to the crasino and, uh, make some big bucks. See you later, doctor.

Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Dr. Steve Brule:
Getting a job is one way to make money, but there's a lot of other ways. My next guest, Dr. Rongald Branger (Ronald Barker), is gonna teach us all about how to play tricks on s-- The people in a crasino.

Dr. Steve Brule:
...

Ronald Barker:
Like the show.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Welcome to be here.

Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Doug Prishpreed:
Hi, sports fans. I'm Doug Prishpreed. Left-hander Spruce Mouthman has announced that he'll be competing in the Annual Deuces Dairy Outdoor Decathlon. There will be seven other dopes involved, so make sure you stretch your muscles. It's gonna be one heck of a dairy race.

Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Paulette:
This is a test to see if you can see differences.

Dr. Steve Brule:
This one's easy.

[Dr. Brule sees the picture of one guy wearing a mustache and another guy without wearing a mustache]

Paulette:
Uh-huh.

Dr. Steve Brule:
They're both hunks. Check, plea-- [cue interrupts]

Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Paulette:
I want you to go ahead and fill this out the best you can.

Dr. Steve Brule:
[smooches]

Paulette:
So, we're gonna start with your last name and then your first name and your middle initial.

Dr. Steve Brule:
My last name -- Like, from my name from before? It was "Little Stevie". Now my grownup name is Dr. Steven Brule.

Paulette:
Okay. So, what you do is you put "Dr. Brule".

[Dr. Brule fills out the application with his name, but wrote it weakly like a children's drawing]

Paulette:
Put it down as best you can, okay?

Dr. Steve Brule:
What's the shape of the snake letter look like?

Paulette:
...Y-You don't know what an "S" looks like?

Dr. Steve Brule:
"S". Oh!

Paulette:
Okay. And then they want you to list areas of highest proficiency -- Your appicable position.

Dr. Steve Brule:
[whispers to Paulette's ear] What's "Proficiency"? [smooches]

Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Paulette:
So, the first thing we're gonna do is pretty easy.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Okay.

Paulette:
So, you're gonna have 30 seconds to line these titles, starting with number 1 all the way to number 9, in sequence. You ready? Go.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Go!

[Dr. Brule tries to line the titles from number 1 to number 9]

Dr. Steve Brule:
I got this. I got this.

Paulette:
Okay, good.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Just relax.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Yeah. 6. 6. 7. What the heck? You got two 6s. It's a trick question.

Paulette:
Uh...well --

Dr. Steve Brule:
What were you trying to do -- Shanghai me?

Paulette:
Uh, well, now remember--

Dr. Steve Brule:
[shoves the titles away] Let's go to the next test.

Paulette:
Okay. And --

Dr. Steve Brule:
Are you ticklish?

Paulette:
No, I'm not. Okay. So, go ahead and --

Dr. Steve Brule:
I am, if you wanted to tickle me.

Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Dr. Steve Brule:
How do you get a job? What if I was just a joe shroe? What would I do to get a job? How would you get me a job, lady?

Paulette:
Well, the first thing we would need to do is some testing with you. So, why don't we go do that?

Dr. Steve Brule:
You look like my friend, Jannie. Do you ever watch that show "Channel 5 News"?

Paulette:
Uh-huh.

Dr. Steve Brule:
You look like Jannie's sister.

Money Accountant Lady:
Okay. We'll start doing some testing, and we can talk further.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Okay.

Paulette:
You ready to do it?

Dr. Steve Brule:
Yes, be go-bretters.

Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Dr. Steve Brule:
Money. Where the heck does it come from? You could have a job -- A summer job -- Selling popcorn. But guess what. I know where to get a lot of it, and I don't mean a brank. I mean a place called mint, where they make money. Can just make as much as you want. [chuckling] We're gonna be rich. Let's check it out!

[music cue plays, until it cuts to the next scene where Dr. Brule is still on his set after talking his introduction about money]

Dr. Steve Brule:
It was closed. They don't allow people to go to mint on Tuesdays. Oh, well. Sorry, sucker.

Dr. Steve Brule:
So, instead, we went to visit with Denny's aunt, who is a he-- headhunter who helps people get jobs. That's another way to get money. So, that's the best we can do. Just check it ou-- [cue interrupts]

Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Dr. Steve Brule:
Hi. I'm Dr. Steve Brule. Today our show's gonna be all about money, honey.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Money talks. Bull [bleep] walks.

Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Dr. Steve Brule:
"I'll have a hot dog with extra sauce". "What the f*** are you looking at, stupid [bleep]. P-- D-- You think I'm made out of money"? "No, I just asked for a hot dog with extra sauce". "F*** you, ass [bleep]".

Dr. Steve Brule:
That's a scene from ym favorite movie, "Cold Hard Cash", directed by Steven Briegel.

Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Dr. Steve Brule:
I don't know all of these people talking to me at the same time. I can't understand.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Can't go around, go around back again... [mumbling]

Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule  Movie Quote

added 26 days ago

Dr. Steve Brule:
Dang flies.

Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule  Movie Quote

added 26 days ago

Ron Don Volante:
[weakly] Do-do-do, da-ha. Do-do-do-do. Ah.

Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule  Movie Quote

added 26 days ago

Dr. Steve Brule:
I'm here with one of my neighbors from Bixburrough Apartments, Hippy Joel. He's here to talk about pleasure.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Sometimes the things that give you pleasure could hurt you, like I got hurt real bad from candy?

Hippy Joel:
Hurt by candy?

Dr. Steve Brule:
I tried, uh, a hard lollipop.

Hippy Joel:
The best part of the lollipop is the stick. You suck and suck and suck. Then you get pleasure.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Hippy Joel, what is the secret to happiness? I can't seem to find it myself. Pleeease?

Hippy Joel:
I brought with me a mystical root that will help you reach that level of serenity, peace. It will free you in a fertile soil of ecstasy.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Tastes like a cow bathroom.

Hippy Joel:
[looks at the camera] Unleash your mind. Let it flow from the feet to the top of your head. You will release that pressure, that pain.

Dr. Steve Brule:
[gags]

Hippy Joel:
You will be filled with unbelievable pleasure.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Feels like my asshole's on fire!

Hippy Joel:
That means the negatives are releasing from your body. Let it flow.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Feels like my asshole's on fire!

Hippy Joel:
Don't pucker.

Dr. Steve Brule:
FEELS LIKE MY ASSHOLE'S ON FIRE!

Hippy Joel:
[laughs]

Dr. Steve Brule:
[laughs] Feels like my asshole's on fire! IT FEELS LIKE MY ASSHOLE'S ON FIRE!

Hippy Joel:
Yeah, baby!

Dr. Steve Brule:
[distorted] YEAH, BABY!

Hippy Joel:
[laughs] Go with it! [distorted laughter]

[then Dr. Brule starts to experience some crazy hallucinations after taking a mystical root]

Hippy Joel:
JOY.

Dr. Steve Brule:
[whispered] Feels like my asshole's on fire.

Hippy Joel:
JOYAH!

Dr. Steve Brule:
I can't find my teeth.

[Dr. Brule sees a scene of a naked spa guy who's been sitting with him in the heating room this entire interview]

Dr. Steve Brule:
AAH! GET OUT OF HERE, BROWN MAN!

Hippy Joel:
JOY!

Hippy Joel:
FIFIFIFIFIFIFIFIFIFIFIFI--

Dr. Steve Brule:
I can't find my teeth.

Hippy Joel:
Here we go! I think you need a little lube. [gives Dr. Brule more of the mystical root making Brule more insane] Lubricant, baby!

Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule  Movie Quote

added 26 days ago

Dr. Steve Brule:
Hi. Guess where we get to go now. The best place in the whole world... [music cue plays] ...the Candy Store. Ha ha! They have all kind of candies, and this little lady was giving it to me for free.

Dr. Steve Brule:
What kind of candy is this?

Candy Woman:
That's going to be cinnamon flavor.

[Dr. Brule eats the cinnamon flavor candy]

Candy Woman:
How's that one?

Dr. Steve Brule:
Pretty good. Tastes like a piece of rubber.

Candy Woman:
Go ahead and try that one.

Dr. Steve Brule:
[narrating] Then she gave me a candy worm, which wasn't sweet. Guess what it tasted like. Sour as my Daddy's lips.

Dr. Steve Brule:
[coughs] TASTES LIKE A PICKLE! [spits it out on his mic]

Dr. Steve Brule:
[narrating] It was like sweet-and-sour soup without any soup or sweet.

[Dr. Brule tastes the candy worm he had in its mouth again, but still disgusted by it]

Dr. Steve Brule:
[narrating] Finally, we got to my favorite candy of all...

Candy Woman:
Do you want to try these?

Dr. Steve Brule:
[narrating] ...The Lorrypop.

Dr. Steve Brule:
What's the best way to eat these?

Candy Woman:
Well, probably to lick it.

Dr. Steve Brule:
I know. Who wants to lick it? It goes too slow.

[as Dr. Brule takes a hard bite out of the Lorrypop, he suddenly starts to break one of his teeth]

Dr. Steve Brule:
I think I chipped my tooth. Denny, I think I chipped my tooth. [grunts] I think I chipped my tooth!

Dr. Steve Brule:
For your candy.

Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule  Movie Quote

added 26 days ago

[Dr. Brule goes to his next spa treatment where he goes to a heating room]

Dr. Steve Brule:
This is a real hot box in here!

Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule  Movie Quote

added 26 days ago

[Dr. Brule goes to his next spa treatment where he takes a shower]

Dr. Steve Brule:
This is, uh, where you warsh up.

Dr. Steve Brule:
[narrating] I gave this fellow a little shower slap. Just a little horseplay.

Dr. Steve Brule:
[to a naked guy] Gotcha!

Dr. Steve Brule:
Cleaning out my dirty parts. You got to wash out your old.

Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule  Movie Quote

added 26 days ago

[Dr. Brule goes to his next spa treatment where he get himself washed]

Dr. Steve Brule:
[to the naked people] Hi, guys.

Dr. Steve Brule:
[narrating] I was just hanging around with some cool guys, getting our bodies washed, all our parts. Who cares? Who are you to judge?

Dr. Steve Brule:
[narrating] I wasn't shy about being naked. It's just your body.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Just taking a seat. Ooh. Spardon me.

Dr. Steve Brule:
[narrating] I thought I'd get bored in the soup tub, so I just had a contest with myself of hoe I could hold my breath.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Tastes like, uh, sweat. Whew! It's hot like a soup in here! I got to get out of here before I turn into a noodle.

Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule  Movie Quote

added 26 days ago

Dr. Steve Brule:
[narrating] First thing I did at the spaa was get a mashage. The -- The little man told me to lay down.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Whoa, I got a real big zit there. [laughs like crazy]

Dr. Steve Brule:
[narrating] Turns out, mashage felt pretty good. Too bad I'm so ticklish.

Dr. Steve Brule:
[to Spa Woman] It tickles when you touch my shoes.

Dr. Steve Brule:
[narrating] Still, it was nice of this little man to touch me like that.

Spa Woman:
Okay. Lie down and turn over.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Okay.

Dr. Steve Brule:
[narrating] Then they started to squeeze me.

Dr. Steve Brule:
[narrating] Squeezed a lot of gas out of me.

Dr. Steve Brule:
Sorry about that. All I've been eating all week is cream chip beans.

Dr. Steve Brule:
[narrating] Then I had to go to my next stop in the spaa -- The room where you get yourself washed, so the little man helped me get my clothes off. That was nice.

Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule  Movie Quote

added 26 days ago

[Dr. Brule smiles at the spa woman, and the spa woman smiles back]

Dr. Steve Brule:
I have to introduce the segment. Now, shh. Shush.

Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule  Movie Quote

added 26 days ago

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