Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #16

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 6,786 quotes total — keep up the great work!

[Susie meets Scatman's Brother again]

Susie Wagner:
Oh, hi.

Scatman's Brother:
Hi. I just wanted to come and apologize to you for going to Chris instead of coming to you first. But I knew that he would give it to me bad, which feels so good.

[cuts to the next scene, where Dr. Gardner wakes up after hearing all the stuff what Scatman's Brother just said in Susie's room]

Dr. Gardner:
OF COURSE! [writes notes as he sings] You give it to me bad, which feels so good, I got a sex raaaash.

[cuts to the next scene where Dr. Sinclair also wakes up after hearing Dr. Gardner's voice completely not out of tune]

Dr. Sinclair:
Jackpot! Boogie time.

[cuts to the next scene Dr. Gardner sings Sex Rash with a better song this time]

Dr. Gardner:
Oh-oh-oh, giving me a sex rash. You give it to me, bad, bad, bad, which makes me feel so good. I got a sex raaash!

[back to the original scene]

Scatman's Brother:
Will you forgive me?

Susie Wagner:
[pulls up a hammer] Does this answers your question?

[Susie whacks Scatman's Brother with a hammer]

Scatman's Brother:
[laughing] Oh, Susie, you're the best!

[then Susie keeps on whacking Scatman's Brother with the hammer for their enjoyment, while the moon feels disgusted after hearing all the noises they're making]

Moon:
Well, now I've seen everything. [shoots himself]

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

[after Susie finally defeats The Scatman]

Chris Monsanto:
Well, congratulations, Junior Marshal Wagner. I guess from this day on, you're a lady no more.

Susie Wagner:
[happily claps]

Chris Monsanto:
[tired] Yeah, okay.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

[The Scatman tries to crack open a bank vault]

The Scatman:
Bee. Bap. Doo. Wap. Bee, bap, doo, wap. BAM!

[as The Scatman opens up the bank vault, it's revealed that Chris and his gang were hiding in the bank vault the entire time]

Susie Wagner:
Sorry to disappoint you, Scatman, but we're not money.

Chris Monsanto:
No, but I do have something that's 6 inches long and green. Sorry, sweetheart -- Guy talk.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

[Susie sees the same jacket criminal again where he got beaten up by Chris and Brett]

Susie Wagner:
Why didn't you listen to me, dummy?! I told you Chris would beat you up.

[as Susie was about to wipe the blood off of the criminal]

Jacket Criminal:
AAH! OKAY, I'LL TALK! I'LL TALK!

Susie Wagner:
Why are you screaming? I'm just trying to be nice.

Jacket Criminal:
AAH! NICE?! YOU'RE KILLING ME!

Susie Wagner:
I'm trying to help you!

Scatman's Brother:
STAY AWAY FROM ME! I'll talk! I'll talk. Scatman -- He's not my boss. He's my brother. My big brother.

Scatman's Brother:
And my boss.

Scatman's Brother:
Back before he became the monster called Scatman, he was the monster called Scatboy. He used to terrorize my parents. He'd scat the house apart. There was nothing they could do about it.

Scatman's Brother:
They thought maybe he'd be happier if he had a little brother, but he didn't want no little brother. He tried to scat me right out of the womb, but I survived. But because of what he did, I had what's know as fetal scat syndrome. My neurons were flipped. Pleasure was pain, and pain was pleasure.

Scatman's Brother:
When I grew up, he made me join his gang on account of no cop could ever beat a confession out of me -- Till now.

Susie Wagner:
So... [touches Scatman's Brother shoulder]

Scatman's Brother:
AAH!

Susie Wagner:
Do you want to tell me where Scatman is? [said it calmly]

Scatman's Brother:
Stop it!

Susie Wagner:
I don't want to hurt you. I just want to make you feel better. [hugs Scatman's Brother]

Scatman's Brother:
OH, MY GOD! HE'S ROBBING A BANK TONIGHT AT THE OLD RESERVE BUILDING! [exhales sharply] I SWEAR! [faints]

Susie Wagner:
[on his walkie-talkie] This is Junior Lady Marshal Wagner. I just blew this case wide open.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

[the next day where Chris and Brett started to grow tired of beating the criminal up to tell where The Scatman is]

Chris Monsanto:
Oh, forget it. I give up. This guy's harder to break than a lease in tel aviv. Come on. Let's go get drunk.

Brett Mobley:
Whoo! My hands are sore.

Chris Monsanto:
Yeah.

Brett Mobley:
Hey, tomorrow, do you think I'll get big puppy pillow hands like a boxer has?

Chris Monsanto:
Oh, Brett, no. You know what? I think you're thinking of gloves. We'll work on that concept.

Brett Mobley:
Gloves?

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Chris Monsanto:
Where's The Scatman?

Jacket Criminal:
I forget. Maybe a couple of knocks to the old brain box will help me remember.

[Chris and Brett beats up the jacket criminal, but the jacket criminal enjoys it]

Jacket Criminal:
Oh, yeah! Oh, that's great! [laughing] Oh, yeah! Maybe a couple of shots to the kidneys.

[Chris and Brett beats him up again]

Jacket Criminal:
[moans]

[cuts to the next scene where Dr. Gardner is sitting in his bed hearing all the ruckus coming from Susie's room, but did not notice that Chris and Brett are in their beating a criminal up]

Dr. Gardner:
WHORE!

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

[Chris injects the truth serum on Brett]

Chris Monsanto:
Brett, you gonna hurt this guy?

Brett Mobley:
Yes.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Chris Monsanto:
You got a real good beating coming to you, pal. You picked the wrong day to spray-paint "Hooray for The Scatman" on the side of the Marshals' Office.

Brett Mobley:
Yeah, unless it's the Scatman's birthday. Then you picked the perfect day.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

[Dr. Gardner gets a second career by singing]

Dr. Gardner:
Oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh, sex raaaash!

Dr. Sinclair:
Cut! No!

Dr. Gardner:
I'm sorry.

Dr. Sinclair:
No. Where's the magic I heard yesterday?

Dr. Gardner:
I'm sorry. I can get it back. Let me just have one more take.

Dr. Sinclair:
It's the song. It's missing something.

Dr. Gardner:
No. It's me. I don't have what it takes.

[Dr. Gardner disappoints himself in shame while being inside the recording studio]

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Dr. Gardner:
Oh, hello, Susie. That was quite a little party you had last night.

Susie Wagner:
What?

Dr. Gardner:
You'd better watch it, missy. I heard some crazy things in there. And if you keep it up, you're gonna catch a disease like sex rash -- And deservedly so. That's a shame. There are so many people that deserve a sex rash -- The skeezers and teasers and the out-to-pleasers, the down-on-their-kneezers. I'd give them all a sex rash.

Dr. Gardner:
[singing off key] 'Cause we've all heard the story about those crazy birds and the bees. But what they didn't tell ya is that human genitalia is a cesspool of disease. Oh. Oh, sex rash.

Dr. Sinclair:
Is that you, Gardner? That's a real catchy tune.

Dr. Gardner:
Dr. Sinclair.

Dr. Sinclair:
You ever think of putting it on record?

Dr. Gardner:
Never occurred to me. [instantly put his shades on]

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Susie Wanger:
Hey! Freeze! Where's The Scatman?

Jacket Criminal:
I ain't spilling!

Susie Wagner:
Look, you can tell me, or you can wait till Chris Monsanto finds you and brutally beats you.

Jacket Criminal:
Brutally?

Susie Wagner:
Yeah. But I'll be nice. What do you say?

[Jacket Criminal throws a book at her to get away]

Susie Wagner:
HE'S GONNA FIND YOU AND BEAT THE SH*T OUT OF YOU!

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Radio Marshal Guy:
Come in, Monsanto. Someone reported hearing a head pop on fourth and national. Monsanto, do you copy?

Susie Wagner:
This is Junior Lady Marshal Wagner. I'm on it.

Radio Marshal Guy:
Who?

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Chris Monsanto:
[to the criminals] Fellas, welcome to the Beat Shack, not to be confused with thee men's tug club of the same name.

Susie Wagner:
Okay, I'll be outside. Try not to get blood on the plants and keep the noise down.

Chris Monsanto:
Okay, whatever, honey.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Chris Monsanto:
What do you know about The Scatman?

Burglar:
...

Chris Monsanto:
Oh, I see. Well, you're a little tight-lipped, huh? And a lottle tight-cheeked. [getting ready to bruise the burglar]

Captain:
Not here, Monsanto. We just had the floors done. Take them out to the Beat Shack.

Susie Wagner:
What?! No. I'm sick of you guys using my apartment to beat up suspects.

Chris Monsanto:
Susie, come on. Your place is perfect.

Susie Wagner:
My neighbors have been complaining about the screaming.

Brett Mobley:
Well, maybe they need a trip to the Beat Shack.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Chris Monsanto:
Well, look what the cat dragged in.

Brett Mobley:
[chuckles] Yeah. Chris thinks that you look like a cat.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Captain:
he calls himself The Scatman. He's been knocking off rival crime bosses, and now he's going after innocent, uh, civilians?

Susie Wagner:
If we really want to catch this guy, we need to set up a wire tap, get a court order...

Chris Monsanto:
Or we can just round up all the lowlifes in town and treat them/beat them like human piñatas until one of them talks/squawks.

Captain:
I like Monsanto's plan. It's easier on the budget.

Brett Mobley:
Well, you haven't heard my plan yet.

Captain:
Yes, Mobley?

[Brett goes back to his seat knowing he doesn't have a plan]

Susie Wagner:
So, we're just gonna torture people?

Captain:
Unless you got another suggestion.

Susie Wagner:
I just gave you one.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Civilized Old Guy:
Sir, please. I wasn't aware. Who are you, sir? WHO ARE YOU?!

The Scatman:
[scatting] BAM!

[Civilized Old Guy intestines explodes]

The Scatman:
I'm The Scatman.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

[after Chris and the gang watches Fartners In Slime]

E.D. Levain:
Finish it, Chris. Finish it.

Chris Monsanto:
Alright. [shoots E.D. Levain]

Susie Wagner:
I think he meant finish the movie.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Susie Wagner:
Why, Levain? Just to do a remake of "Partners In Crime"?

E.D. Levain:
Not a remake -- A spoof. It was going to be the greatest spoof of all time. But these ungrateful actor didn't want to be in it. So I had to kill them and shoot the movie with their corpses.

[as Chris sees the script again, he wipes the blood off the title and what it's actually called Fartners In Slime]

Chris Monsanto:
Too bade nobody's gonna see it. Brett, take that film outside and burn it. Then take the ashes to the desert and bury them. And then, uh, kill yourself so you don't accidentally blab about it, okay?

Brett Mobley:
10-4.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

[E.D. Levain sees a boom in the shot]

E.D. Levain:
Boom in the shot! BOOM IN THE SHOT!

[Chris appears holding the boom operator]

Chris Monsanto:
And in the director.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

[Chris and the gang sees E.D. Levain directing dead actors that he's killed]

Brett Mobley:
This guy's cuckoo bananas for Cocoa Puffs and bananas.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

[Susie tries to settle the drug couple to stop fighting]

Brett Mobley:
That drug dealer looks like my work Mom.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

[Susie become a trunk pharmacist]

Man:
Hurry up, skank. I got to go find my kids.

Susie Wagner:
Okay, here are you painkillers and your date-rape drugs.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Susie Wagner:
What's going on?

Businessman:
Joel -- The hot, new pharmacist. Sorry, Susie. That's how it is in the pharm biz. I'll need your coat. [leaves]

Businessman #2:
[to Susie] You looking for work? I got a pharm-trunk out in the valley. I could use a pretty girl like you. Your life is about to change, little lady.

Businessman #2:
For the worst, I mean.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

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