Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #11

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 6,336 quotes total — keep up the great work!

The Baron:
Can I get you something to drink?

Chris Monsanto (as Chiss):
Yeah, sure.

[The Baron shoots a sky burglar who has a drink]

The Baron:
[to Chiss] Here you are.

Chris Monsanto (as Chiss):
I thank you, sir.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

Chris Monsanto (as a Chiss):
Hey, Baron! Looky what I got here -- Marshal Monsanto. I killed him. I killed him real dead-like, too.

The Baron:
Nice work, friend! What's your name?

Chris Monsanto (as Chiss):
Uh, Chiss.

The Baron:
Welcome to Cloudtopia...Chizz.

The Baron:
Please, stay as my guest. Later, we're going to watch pirated DVDs and gay-marry each other.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

Grunke:
Marshal!

Chris Monsanto:
Uh, no, no. I'm, uh, just impersonating a Marshal.

Grunke:
Oh, nice. Good sky crime.

Chris Monsanto:
Thanks.

Grunke:
Name's Grunke. Get you anything you want. Yellows, reds, goofballs, high-hats -- I got it all.

Chris Monsanto:
No. Thank you. That's fine. Although, come to think of it, a high-hat actually sounds kind of tasty right about now.

Grunke:
Wait a minute. Now that I see you in profile...you are a Marshal! Well, you're in Cloud Country now! Up here, anything goes.

[Grunke suddenly gets stabbed by a sky burglar]

Grunke:
See what I mean? [dies]

[after Grunke gets killed, Chris get into disguise]

Sky Burglar #2:
Hey, what are you doing to Grunke?

Chris Monsanto:
I'm gonna have sex with his corpse.

Sky Burglar #2:
Oh. Nice. Good sky crime. [leaves]

Chris Monsanto:
Bunch of wackos up here.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

Chief:
Susie and Brett have been sky-napped by The Baron. You have to go up to Cloudtopia and rescue them.

Chris Monsanto:
Both of them?

Chief:
Well, concentrate on Susie, but if you can get Brett, it would save me a lot of paperwork.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

[after Brett and Susie were kidnapped from The Baron a couple minutes ago]

Chris Monsanto:
Hey, Brett, your shoe fell off your blow-up doll.

Chief:
Where did you find that?

Chris Monsanto:
Out, right outside.

Chief:
[realizes The Baron was here] Good god.

Chris Monsanto:
What? The drop-tile ceiling? I know. They're so dated.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

Brett Mobley:
So, the pizza guy says, "Hey, I just dropped all these strombolis on the floor. I'll let you have them half-price". So naturally, I'm like, "What flavors are they"? And just as he was about to tell me, I woke up.

Susie Wagner:
You already told me this.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

The Baron:
What has happened to my hookers and my drug dealers?

Sky Burglar:
Sorry, Baron, they're...dead.

The Baron:
Dead?! Damn it. I was counting on their proceeds to complete operation groundless.

Sky Burglar:
Some Marshal is waging war against sky crime. Says he won't quit till he puts you out of commission. Monsant...something.

The Baron:
Marshal Monsantfield, you're about to --

Sky Burglar:
[interrupts] No, it's actually Monsanto.

The Baron:
Marshal Monsanto, you're about to find out the sky's the limit...of your life.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

Chris Monsanto:
It's time to scrub the clouds and return the sky to God.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

[after Chief explains who The Baron is and also operates sky crimes from Cloudtopia]

Chris Monsanto:
So you're telling me anything that happens in the sky is legal and there's a giant crime blimp flying around this place?

Chief:
Yes.

Chris Monsanto:
I don't know how I missed that.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

Chief:
Three more victims of senseless sky crime. Oh, well.

Susie Wagner:
Witnesses say they were all pushed out of a hot air balloon.

Chief:
Well, thank god none of our cars were damaged.

Chris Monsanto:
Hey, Chief, where you think you're going? Now, Chris Monsanto doesn't walk away from a triple drop-n-plop mental clop.

Susie Wagner:
Sounds like you need to brush up on your town statutes, Chris. Anything that happens in the sky is perfectly legal.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

[Brett Mobley walks pass through several of dead bodies while eating ice cream]

Brett Mobley:
Excuse me. Excuse me. [sees a fallen dead body] Hey! Get your own cone!

[realizes it's a sky crime]

Brett Mobley:
Oh, geez.

[Brett still eats his ice cream cone]

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

[the two couple and a guy enjoy a nice hot air balloon ride]

Samantha:
It's so beautiful here.

Samantha's Husband:
Samantha...will you make me the happiest escrow officer in the world and be my wife?

Samantha:
[gasps] I will! I will! I will! I will! I will take that ring, that is. Why don't you go marry that parking lot down there, you dumb piece of sh*t!

[Samantha throw his husband out of the hot air balloon]

Guy:
Oh, my god! You killed him.

Samantha:
Well, if you miss him so much, then why don't you join him?!

[suddenly a burglar arrives in the hot air balloon]

Sky Burglar:
Give me your money!

Samantha:
F*** YOU!

[Burglar manages to throw Samantha off the hot air balloon]

Guy:
[after getting shot] HELP! POLICE!

Sky Burglar:
Police? News flash, balloon boy, there's no law up here.

[Burglar throw the guy out of the hot air balloon]

Sky Burglar:
SKY CRIME!

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

Susie Wagner:
Samuel, hi. I brought the antidote to the Creepatin so you don't have to be a creep anymore.

Samuel:
No, thanks. I think I'm going to stay a creep.

Susie Wagner:
...

Samuel:
I'm going over to the high school to watch the girls soccer team practice. [leaves]

Susie Wagner:
[sad] Goodbye, Sam Drake.

[as Sam Drake leaves he got hit by a van]

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

[after Neil Phipps was defeated]

Neil Phipps:
[to his pet spider] YES! BITE ME, MY CHILDREN! BITE ME! I'M COMING, JACKO! [laughing] I'M COMING!

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Susie Wagner:
Neil Phipps! You're under arrest on four counts of first-degree creepicide.

Chris Monsanto:
You added your name to the murder list so that we'd think you'd be one of the victims. Very ingenious.

Neil Phipps:
You got me all wrong, Monsanto. I was simply autographing what I consider my most masterful to-do list yet. Now, if you'll excuse me, these fine ladies are on my other to-do list. And by "do", I mean do.

Susie Wagner:
You girls aren't attracted to him, are you?

Sexy Woman:
Hey, compared to the creeps in this town, this guy's John Stamos.

Susie Wagner:
Neil Phipps is no John Stamos.

Neil Phipps:
I am SO John Stamos!

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Brett Mobley:
Hey, guys. You're just in time. Ma and I were just about to try on old halloween costumes.

Susie Wagner:
Here. Drink this. It's the antidote to the Creepatin. Phipps put it in our ginger ale last night. He's gonna poison the whole town with it and turn all the men into creeps so he can get all the women.

Susie Wagner:
Well, *a woman*, at least.

Brett Mobley:
Wow. That guy's smart. But I didn't drink any of the ginger ale. I hate ginger ale.

Brett's Mom:
He never drank ginger ale!

Brett Mobley:
LAY OFF ME, MA!

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

[Chris creeps by watching a woman inside the house]

Chris Monsanto:
Ooh yeah. Ooh! Move them tchotchkes around. That's the way I like it. Hey! Where do you think you're going? You think you're too good for me, Ms. Hoity-Toity? Get back here.

Susie Wagner:
Chris!

Chris Monsanto:
What?!

Susie Wagner:
Here. Drink this.

Chris Monsanto:
Alright.

[Chris drinks the anti-creep potion]

Susie Wagner:
Do you want to go to the laundromat and steal women's panties?

Chris Monsanto:
No. Of course not. Whose glasses are these?

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

[Susie went to the morgue for tell what the potion is that Neil uses]

Susie Wagner:
Can you tell me what this is?

Surgeon:
It's a male hormone that produces creepiness.

Susie Wagner:
What could someone do with gallons of this stuff?

Surgeon:
They could poison the water supply, turn every man in this town into a creep.

Susie Wagner:
Where Chris and Brett go?

Surgeon:
Ohh, I kicked those two creeps out.

Susie Wagner:
They're creeps? Phipps must have slipped some Creepatin into our drinks.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Chief:
[wearing glasses like a creep] Susie. Give us a hug.

[Susie runs away]

Chief:
What are you TOO GOOD FOR ME?!

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

[Susie sees Sam Drake as a creep in real life]

Susie Wagner:
Sam Drake?

Samuel:
You can call me Samuel. Can I call you Samuel?

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

[Chris and Brett go to the morgue to check the dead creep that's been murdered]

Surgeon:
He was cut open in the same place as the other. it turns out they were all missing their gallbladders.

Chris Monsanto:
Who cares?

Surgeon:
Well, it was recently discovered that the gallbladder secrets a chemical called RUX-40, or Creepatin. This guy's creepatin levels should have been off the charts, but there was none found in his body.

Chris Monsanto:
Let me see that.

[Chris checks the dead body's results on clipboard]

Chris Mosanto:
Uh. Oh, geez. [uses his glasses] Oh, that's much better. Alright, um...let me get a look at his penis.

Surgeon:
Excuse me?

Brett Mobley:
Yeah, I'd like to see his penis, too, please.

Surgeon:
Oh, my god. You guys are creeps.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

[Susie investigates Neil Phipps' basement when she sees Neil's antidote until some patient grabs her]

Creep:
Help...me!

Susie Wagner:
Get off of me, you creep!

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Chris Monsanto:
Well, I guess we should have a look at that creep's corpse. What do you say we go hang around the ladies' changing rooms at T.J. Maxx for a while and then go to the morgue?

Brett Mobley:
Roger that.

Susie Wagner:
What?

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

Chris Monsanto:
Well, I got to hand it to ya, Phipps. You've really got quite a rad pad here.

Neil Phipps:
Yes, I do. I guess you could say success was always on my to-do list. [laughs]

Chris Monsanto:
And it's just you and the mother who live here?

Neil Phipps:
If you're asking about a wife, the answer is no.

Chris Monsanto:
Oh. What about, uh [slurps] girlfriends?

Neil Phipps:
No. Women never got Neil Phipps.

Chris Monsanto:
What a shocker.

Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 25 days ago

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Who said: "Why don't you come up and see me sometime?"
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