Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #12

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 5,718 quotes total — keep up the great work!

DJ Jesus:
We're gonna make a DVD of me using music to stop the monster. Maybe because it's *human* beatboxing --

Senator Whitehead:
Ok.

DJ Jesus:
Maybe that's what the monster hates so much.

Senator Whitehead:
Oh, no Mr. DJ. You no-a save-a the city.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 20 days ago

DJ Jesus:
Senator, we need a giant sound system and a giant microphone. I know how to stop the monster. It's human beatboxing.

Judas:
[to Whitehead] Dude! You're naked!

Senator Whitehead:
Yes, I woke up naked on the docks, and I decided to come straight to work.

Judas:
Nice dick!

Senator Whitehead:
Thank you.

Judas:
What I'd give for half of that! DJ J, spit some beats for that politicans' dick.

DJ Jesus:
[beatboxes] Sweet dick. [beatboxes] Sweet dick.

Senator Whitehead:
AAAAOOOOOW AAAH! [bleep] I hate that human beatboxing.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 20 days ago

Senator Whitehead:
[on phone] Hello, Lucy! It's Bob Whitehead. I'm gonna be on CNN in two minutes. Put it on. I'll wink at you.

Lucy:
Stop calling. Stop calling me. If I see you anywhere near me, I'm gonna mace you.

Senator Whitehead:
Wait, wait, wait --

Lucy:
If I could mace you over the phone, I would.

[Lucy bottle sprayed her phone making a static sound to annoy The Senator]

Lucy:
Can you feel this? Can you feel it?

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 20 days ago

[Special Father and Sister sees the exact same news that's happening about a big monster terrorizing the Golden Gate Bridge]

Special Father #1:
Oh, great. The Pope is coming tomorrow, and a monster is attacking San Francisco. That's just perfect.

Special Sister:
That's fine. He loves that kind of stuff. Remember when he made us go see the beached whale?

Special Father #1:
But we're responsible for his safety while he's here.

Special Sister:
We'll take him to go see some cable cars. He'll be fine. We'll get him some Dim Sum and some wine.

Special Father #1:
I don't think the Pope is going to want Dim Sum.

Special Sister:
I think the Pope IS gonna want Dim Sum.

Special Father #1:
Alright, we'll agree to disagree.

Special Sister:
NO, we're gonna place a $10 bet.

Special Father #1:
Fine.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 20 days ago

Satan:
[on phone] Bob. Satan. Listen, do not kill the monster. I want it.

Senator Whitehead:
You want it?

Satan:
Yeah.

Senator Whitehead:
Huh. I'm gonna kill it with a huge gun on national television.

Satan:
I command you not to kill the mons--

Senator Whitehead:
Listen, I have to go. I'm doing interviews all day. [hangs up]

Satan:
Ugh, what a prick.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 20 days ago

Senator Whitehead:
We're going straight to the White House, my man. You kill a big monster, I don't think you have to worry too much about the nomination. Primaries? Heh, forget about it.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 20 days ago

[Satan watches the news and sees a big monster wrecking havoc on the Golden Gate Bridge on TV]

Satan:
What the hell is that?

Becky:
I was gonna ask you.

Satan:
I want one.

Becky:
What do you mean, you want one?

Satan:
I really want one.

Becky:
What would you do with it?

Satan:
I'd put it in, like, a huge cage or, like, a diorama.

Becky:
No, no, you --

Satan:
And we'd give it its own habitat and then we'd throw people in it. It would eat them, and we'd laugh. I'm getting it.

Becky:
You're not getting it.

Satan:
I'm getting it.

Becky:
You're not.

Satan:
Please?

Becky:
No.

Satan:
Come on.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 20 days ago

[after DJ Jesus got saved when the Catholic Girls' Boarding School got blown up]

DJ Jesus:
Oh, my god. There was $90,000 worth of equipment in there!

Special Sister:
It was haunted.

Special Father #1:
That will be $500, please.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 20 days ago

[as Special Sister heard the song from the pool room, she finally sees DJ Jesus being possessed by two pool girls]

Special Sister:
[to DJ Jesus] You! DJ!

Creepy Pool Girls:
Kill her. Kill her.

Special Sister:
Get out of the pool, buddy!

Creepy Pool Girls:
Kill Hairy Mary. Kill them all.

Special Sister:
[to the creepy pool girls] SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

DJ Jesus:
[possessed] Hi, Hairy...Mary.

Special Sister:
Hi.

[then Special Sister punches DJ Jesus' right in the gut to save him, while she put dynamite to blow the whole school up to smithereens]

Special Sister:
[to Special Fathers and Lucy's friends] Bomb.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 20 days ago

Special Father #1:
As trained and certified exorcists, we are able to cast out demons if demons are present.

Judas:
Oh, man, they're here. They're totally here.

Special Sister:
This place is evil! [to Lucy] That girl's the ANTICHRIST!

Special Father #1:
Sister! Enough.

Special Sister:
[growls] Evil.

Special Father #1:
She [chuckles nervously] she has some problems today.

Special Sister:
[to SF1] This place is evil.

Special Father #1:
Sister, please.

Special Sister:
No!

Special Father #2:
Perdoni Mi. I really got to go.

Special Father #1:
Oh, yes. Father, uh, Benetti would like to use your restroom, if possible.

Special Sister:
[to SF2] No, don't do it.

Judas:
Yeah, yeah, sure. It's down the hall to the left.

Special Sister:
[to SF2] DON'T DO IT!

Special Father #1:
Sister!

Special Father #2:
[to Judas] Thank you very much.

Judas:
Yeah, but be careful, man. You might see this rotting girl in a bathing suit spurting blood out her eyes. Not cool.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 20 days ago

[Special Fathers and Sister head to Catholic Girls' Boarding School who called for help]

Special Sister:
What are we doing here?! Holy crap, no! No, no! This is all wrong!

Special Father #2:
No, uh, t-this is the right place.

Special Sister:
Ok, leaving now. [starts to get cross-eyed again]

Special Father #1:
What? No. No, no, no. We drove for three hours to get here. We're not leaving.

Special Father #2:
I have to do a number due.

Special Father #1:
See, Father Benetti has to poo. Plus, this was your idea, Sister. "Let's make a little extra money", you said. "Put an ad on the internet", you said.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 20 days ago

Young Satan:
Hey. Hey, hey, hey.

Young Special Sister:
Yeah? [looks at him while being cross-eyed]

Young Satan:
Look at me.

Young Special Sister:
I am.

Young Satan:
Really?

Young Special Sister:
Y-Yeah.

Young Satan:
Oh.

Young Special Sister:
Sorry.

Young Satan:
What's wrong with your eye?

Young Special Sister:
Nothing. Let me tilt my head. I can create the illusion that I'm look right at you.

Young Satan:
That's weird.

Young Special Sister:
I guess.

Young Satan:
Your eyes is weird.

Young Special Sister:
Okay. I know. I'm hairy, my eye is weird, my mustache -- But you know what? LOOK INSIDE!

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 20 days ago

Young Satan:
Hey, what are you doing way over here?

Young Special Sister:
Nothing.

[Young Satan look at the two bratty girls who bullied her]

Young Satan:
[scoffs] Oh, them? Hey, you can't let anyone get one over on you. You got to get 'em back.

Young Special Sister:
Pour shampoo on them?

Young Satan:
No, no, no. Worse.

Young Special Sister:
In their eyes?

Young Satan:
Worse than shampoo in their eyes.

Young Special Sister:
You mean conditioner?

Young Satan:
No, not conditioner. Worse.

Young Special Sister:
Worse than conditioner?

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 20 days ago

Lucy:
I think we should leave.

Judas:
[after seeing a dead ghostly girl] [bleep] "A" MAN.

Lucy:
Good. It's settled. I'll go pack my bag.

DJ Jesus:
[possessed] We can't leave. This re-remix is being paid for by my label. I signed a contract -- A legal document. Do you have any idea what that means?

Lucy:
I do. It's just --

DJ Jesus:
It's ju-- What, Lucy? What? You just want to INTERFERE with my career?

Lucy:
No. I think all of us feel that--

DJ Jesus:
No. I think all of us don't understand that I was totally blocked and this place unblocked me until YOU came in here and interrupted me. So BACK OFF and let me work so I can make music that will PAY for more trips like this.

Lucy:
Well, I don't think anyone wants more trips like this.

DJ Jesus:
WELL, I DO! I WANT THEM. Now get out. [goes back to his et]

Judas:
[to Lucy] We could leave him here.

Lucy:
We can't leave him here.

Judas:
Well, then, I'm gonna call an exorcist or something.

Lucy:
A what?

Judas:
An exorcist.

Lucy:
What is that gonna do?

Judas:
Like the Ghostbusters, you know? It's someone who can, like, fix everything here.

Lucy:
I don't even think those exist. And even if they did, how would you find one?

Judas:
I got the internet on my phone. Boom. I already got one.

Lucy:
That was quick.

Judas:
Yeah. Sidney's Exorcism. Armonk, New York. That's a long way away, right?

Lucy:
Yeah.

Judas:
Let me try another one.

Lucy:
How many choices do you have for an exorcist?

Judas:
3.

Lucy:
I guess try the next one.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 20 days ago

[meanwhile with Judas]

Judas:
Oh, man. Luce, your dog pooped on the rug! I'm not cleaning it up!

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 20 days ago

Creepy Girl Voice:
You're cute.

DJ Jesus:
Who's there?

Creepy Girl Voice:
You've got skills. I like your beard.

DJ Jesus:
Uh, thank you.

Creepy Girl Voice:
Your girlfriend doesn't like your beard.

DJ Jesus:
Yes, she does. I think she does.

Creepy Girl Voice:
She doesn't want you to be happy.

DJ Jesus:
Of course she does.

Creepy Girl Voice:
She wants to interfere.

DJ Jesus:
She does.

Creepy Girl Voice:
Yeah. She does.

DJ Jesus:
What?

Creepy Girl Voice:
She's an interferer.

DJ Jesus:
Wait a minute...

Creepy Girl Voice:
But I still like your beard.

DJ Jesus:
[chuckles] You...

Creepy Girl Voice:
What?

DJ Jesus:
You're funny whispering voice.

Creepy Girl Voice:
You're funny.

DJ Jesus:
You're funny.

Creepy Girl Voice:
I like your eyes, too.

DJ Jesus:
[sexually] Alright.

Creepy Girl Voice:
So deep.

DJ Jesus:
Mm-hmm. Keep talking.

Creepy Girl Voice:
Yeah.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 20 days ago

Special Father #1:
As a young girl, Sister Mary found herself face-to-face with the devil. He came not as a serpent in the grass, but as a lifeguard in a banana hammock.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 20 days ago

[as DJ Jesus tries to make a perfect remix for his music, he then starts to hear "Pound My Tom-Tom" on his record player that randomly changes out of nowhere]

DJ Jesus:
Judas, Lucy, come check this out!

Judas:
Wow. What's happening?

DJ Jesus:
All my records turned into this record, and it's perfect. The perfect beat to go with my re-remix. Then the tiles started moving.

Lucy:
I think it's spooky.

DJ Jesus:
Um, it's awesome.

Lucy:
There's something weird going on in this place.

Judas:
Yeah, man, she's right.

DJ Jesus:
Look, will you two relax? I'm really excited about this song. Okay, maybe you guys could stop being so negative and start being a little supportive of me. How does that sound?

Lucy:
Okay.

Lucy:
Are they saying "Pound my tom-tom"?

DJ Jesus:
[sighs]

Lucy:
I'm sorry. "Supportive". I'm being supportive.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 20 days ago

Young Special Sister:
It's called "Pound My Tom-Tom". It's about vaginas.

School Girl:
[chuckling] Oh, Mary.

Young Special Sister:
Tony said. He loaned it to me.

School Girl:
Tony the lifeguard?

Young Special Sister:
Yeah! He's gonna show me the dance that goes to it. He's gonna show me the dance that goes to it.

[suddenly two bratty girls arrived]

Bratty Girl #1:
Ha. Tony's gonna do the Tom-Tom with Hairy Mary. That'll be funny.

School Girl:
Bye, Mary.

Young Special Sister:
Stop calling me Hairy Mary!

Bratty Girl #1:
Oh, I'll stop calling you Hairy Mary when you shave your arms and wax your back and pluck your face.

Young Special Sister:
Leave me alone!

Bratty Girl #2:
Um, not supposed to have disco records. It's a sin. [takes away the disc]

Young Special Sister:
Give it back!

Bratty Girl #1:
Honestly, Mary, do you think Tony would ever like a girl who has a bigger mustache than he does?

Young Special Sister:
YES, I DO!

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 20 days ago

[as Lucy tries to find outlets in old school for DJ Jesus' recording materials, she heard an ominous voice]

Creepy Girl Voice:
Fatass...

Lucy:
Hello?

Creepy Girl Voice:
Fatass...

Lucy:
Hello? Who said that?

Creepy Girl Voice:
You have a fatass.

Lucy:
I do not!

[Lucy then sees a mirror of her butt that she do have a fatass and runs for her life]

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 20 days ago

[Lucy and her friends head to an old Catholic Girls' Boarding School]

DJ Jesus:
Isn't this place amazing? It was a Catholic Girls' Boarding School or something.

Lucy:
I think it's kind of creepy.

Judas:
Yeah, man, it's, uh, it is a little creepy.

DJ Jesus:
Come on, guys. I got to get this re-remix done, and this just the place to do it -- No one else around for miles; No e-mail; No phones; Big, empty pool with weird tiles. It's great. Come on. [farts] Oh, hey, excuse me, guys.

Judas:
[laughs] You fart-echoed.

DJ Jesus:
HO!

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 20 days ago

Special Father #1:
Sometimes death leaves a stain on a place, like a stain left behind by...something that stains.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 20 days ago

[while SF1 is still dying from his nightmare, Special Sister gets tired of his nonsense, and saves him by pulling out SF1's cross necklace that's been choking him while dreaming]

Special Father #1:
Oh, thank you. You saved my life. Sister...thank you.

Special Sister:
Okay, wrap it up, drama queen. We all need some rest now! Go to sleep.

Special Father #1:
What can I do to...repay you?

Special Sister:
YOU CAN GO TO [bleep] TO SLEEP! I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GET ANY SLEEP 'CAUSE YOU'VE BEEN SUCKING ON BEADS, TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF. JUST SLEEP, JERKOFF!

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 20 days ago

[as Lucy came back, she sees DJ Jesus sleeping with the Dreamster]

Lucy:
Hey, wake up.

DJ Jesus:
[still dreaming] Lu-- Lucy?

Lucy:
Wake up.

DJ Jesus:
[sees Lucy inside the coffin] Lucy, how -- How did you get here?

[however, DJ Jesus can only see and hear Lucy in his dream while she's trying to wake him up]

Lucy:
What's wrong with you? Wake up!

DJ Jesus:
Okay. Stop saying that and get us out of here.

Lucy:
Wake up. [slaps DJ Jesus]

DJ Jesus:
Ow. Okay. Not necessary to slap me and say "wake up" when I'm obviously next to you and up, okay?

Lucy:
[slaps hardly] Wake up! What's wrong with you!

DJ Jesus:
Alright. Do not --

Lucy:
Wake up! Wake up!

DJ Jesus:
Don't slap my face. Stop it! PLEASE! HEY, I'M HERE! DO NOT SLAP MY FACE AGAIN.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 20 days ago

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