Polidori:
So...you'd like to bring your little president here back to life, eh?
Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Hell no. I want you guys to make me look like him -- Well, before the shooting, of course.
Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Ya see, I want Marilyn Monroe's ass in my face. I want to taste Jackie O's perfumy privates...feel her jiggly-wiggly jagglies and then dingle my dongle in her hobbly-wobbly.
Polidori:
[writing down notes] Jiggly-wiggly jobblies?
Lyndon Brines Johnson:
That's "Jagglies".
Polidori:
Got it.
Victor Frankenstein:
Well, I don't think this should be a problem at all. I'll just simply do a routine brain switcheroo.
Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Wait, so you mean you're gonna take my brain out of this dog-faced head of mine and put it into Rudolph Valentino here? [referring to JFK]
Victor Frankenstein:
Yes.
Frankenstein's Creation:
SHAAAAAAME!
Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Holy ugly. Who's the lumbering sad sack?
Victor Frankenstein:
That's my...creation. He's kind of a pain in the ass. [to his Creation] Go away!
Frankenstein's Creation:
You aid the whims of unknown souls...yet you cast aside your very own? YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO THE AGES! SHAAME!
Lyndon Brines Johnson:
You're kidding me. He's the monster?
Victor Frankenstein:
He prefers "Creation".
Lyndon Brines Johnson:
W-Well, where's his square goldarn head?
Victor Frankenstein:
He doesn't have a square head.
Lyndon Brines Johnson:
But it's in all the movies.
Victor Frankenstein:
SCREW THE MOVIES!
Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Otherwise, he looks pretty good, though.
Frankenstein's Creation:
You -- You enjoy my visage?
Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, there, fancy fella! The letters "BJ" in my initials don't mean what you think they mean. Got me, sugarplum?
Frankenstein's Creation:
[howling] I...am...A MAN!!
Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Yeah, well, so's Khrushchev, but don't make him no prettier. Speaking of which, where's my makeover? All this homo crap is givin' me a hankerin' for some sweet, melty virgyners.
Polidori:
High five.
[as LBJ was ready to give a high five, Polidori made no hand gestures]
