Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #19

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 5,956 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Victor Frankenstein:
Elizabeth, you're simply going to have to quit saving the boys from death. It's their time to die, and that's that!

Heinrich & Gustav:
[gasped face]

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Children, you're excused from the table. Time for bed.

Gustav:
Aw, geez. Just when it was getting god.

Heinrich:
What are you talking about it was awful.

Gustav:
[sad] Oh, yeah.

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
I don't like talking that way in front of them. It's uncomfortable.

Victor Frankenstein:
Every minute of the day is uncomfortable with those bratty little geezers.

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Darling, can't we go on a romantic holiday alone together.

Victor Frankenstein:
No. Not until the kids are dead.

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Oh, that's no fair! I'll take the fun right out of the whole trip.

Victor Frankenstein:
Are you crazy? What could be better than your own children dying before you?

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Maybe everyone doesn't feel that way.

Victor Frankenstein:
EVERYONE'S AN IDIOT!

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
I'm sorry. I'm just trying to be so hard all motherly and everything.

Victor Frankenstein:
Elizabeth, sometimes "motherly" is letting your children leave the nest to plummet to their deaths.

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Of course. You're right.

Victor Frankenstein:
Now, I won't hear any more of this. You need to quit foiling death and let our sons die in peace.

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Alright, dear.

Victor Frankenstein:
Good.

Heinrich & Gustav:
Daddy! Tuck us in!

Victor Frankenstein:
CERTAINLY NOT!

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Victor, can't you at least tuck the boys in *one last time*?

Victor Frankenstein:
Last time?

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Oh, alright, first and last.

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 1 month ago

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
The boys are completely wearing me out. I simply must get some time away from them.

Polidori:
Pray, what are the two grandbrothers up to now?

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
[to Victor] I'd like to discuss this and other family matter privately, if you please.

Polidori:
[scoffs]

Victor Frankenstein:
Fine! Over dinner, then. I'm famished! [while his burnt ballsack is hanging out from his pants]

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 1 month ago

Victor Frankenstein:
Forceps.

Polidori:
Really, Victor, you do realize that if you only made love to Elizabeth once in a while instead of surgically removing the semen from your body without anesthetic, she wouldn't be cavorting with that euro-trash vampire.

Victor Frankenstein:
And, professor, [grunts] if I wasn't so desperately bored by any form of sexual [grunts] stimulation, I wouldn't have to dream up newer, more [grunts] interesting ways to empty my scrotum! [grunts] There! Torch.

[Polidori gives the torch to Victor so he can torch his ballsack]

Victor Frankenstein:
OOOOOOOOOH! OH, YEAH! Ygor! Fag!

Ygor:
[laughing] You got it!

Polidori:
Satisfied?

Victor Frankenstein:
Momentarily.

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Victor!

Victor Frankenstein:
Moment's up!

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 1 month ago

[Death arrives to takes Victor's children with him]

Death:
Come. Bid farewell to existence!

Heinrich & Gustav:
MOMMY!

[Elizabeth comes by]

Death:
Geez. [hides away]

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Boys, I've had just about enough of this.

Heinrich:
But Death, Mom!

Gustav:
Yeah -- Death!

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Aren't you a little too old for this?

Gustav:
No, just right.

Heinrich:
Yeah, perfect age to worry about death, actually.

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Enough. One more outburst, and you're really in trouble. [leaves]

[Death shows up again]

Heinrich & Gustav:
MOOOMMY!

Death:
Oh, come on! [hides away again]

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Oh, come on!

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 1 month ago

Heinrich & Gustav:
Oh, no! The Mummy!

Heinrich:
Scary and from another culture.

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 1 month ago

Heinrich:
Mommy, we don't like the cemetery.

Gustav:
It's hitting a little too close to home right now.

Heinrich & Gustav:
Aah! Nosferatu!

Gustav:
The silent vampire!

Heinrich:
He's balder than Dracula!

Gustav:
I never thought of that. That's scarier.

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Settle down. I'll handle it.

[Elizabeth puts a cork up Nosferatu's vampire teeth]

Henrich & Gustav:
[singsong voice] Ha ha! You can't kill our Mom! She is immortal!

Nosferatu:
[title card intensifies] Curses!

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 1 month ago

Victor Frankenstein:
Yes, what's so dramatically urgent now, Death?

Death:
Oh, no, it's not dramatic. It's...GRAAAVE.

Victor & Polidori:
...

Death:
The time has come!

Victor Frankenstein:
[chuckles] Time, sir? I drank an immortality serum, remember? So when you say "The time has come" to me, you may as well be speaking backwards japanese in pig latin.

Polidori:
Mm. With a stutter.

Death:
Yes, but your children, they did not drink the serum. They must move on the great beyond!

Victor Frankenstein:
Oh, of course they must. They're as old as the hills. Now, look, I am very busy man, s--

Death:
I don't think you understand. The next chance I get, your offspring will be going away with me, FOREVER.

Victor Frankenstein:
Uh-huh.

Death:
...Why do you hate me?

Victor Frankenstein:
Don't take it personally. I don't like anyone.

Death:
So you do hate me?

Victor Frankenstein:
I don't like anyone!

Death:
You don't give me the respect I deserve.

Victor Frankenstein:
Alright, look -- You're not a bad guy. You're just a goof, okay?

Death:
A goof?

Victor Frankenstein:
Yes, an irritating goof.

Death:
No one else thinks I'm a goof.

Victor Frankenstein:
Yes, because they are blinded with fear. Time has stopped for me. I get to see the real you, and...you're goofy.

Death:
Ha. Okay. That's fantastic. Yeah. Perfect! We'll see how goofy I am when you realize your children are gone for all eternity! I guarantee that THAT will leave a morbid impression upon your soul!

Victor Frankenstein:
Do you know what would really impress me? Get rid of that dracula guy. That dirty polack's B.O. is getting all over my bedsheets.

Death:
NO! Dracula stays. But your children come with me. [laughs evilly as he disappears]

Polidori:
In one ear and out the other with him.

Count Dracula:
[laughs maniacally] So, you thought you could get rid of me using that dastardly villain, Death! But you are once again foiled, Frankenstein! [laughs manically while turning into a bat and leaves]

Victor Frankenstein:
I am surrounded by dorks.

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 1 month ago

[Death arrives at Victor's castle]

Polidori:
Oh, good -- The doorbell works.

[Death tries to give Polidori the death touch]

Death:
Still immortal, eh, Polidori?

Polidori:
Always.

Death:
Ugh.

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 1 month ago

[after Adolf Hitler got rejected by Creation's Left Leg for telling the truth, he then goes back to hating jews again]

Adolf Hitler:
ICH BIN EIN BERLINER! [leaves]

Creation's Left Leg:
Uh, what did he say?

Polidori:
I think he said he's a "doughnut".

Victor Frankenstein:
He sure is!

Count Dracula:
No, you are a doughnut, Frankenstein, for I have date to take your wife on romantic hayride sometimes in next few weeks, when hayride people have an opening for us. You doughnut!

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 1 month ago

[while Adolf Hitler and Creation's Left Leg are enjoying the time of their lives]

Creation's Left Leg:
Let's play "Truth or Dare". You first.

Adolf Hitler:
Um...dare. No, no! Truth, truth! No, no! Dare, dare! No, truth! Dare. Dare. No, no, no. Truth, truth, truth, truth, truth.

Creation's Left Leg:
Okay. What's the worst thing you've ever planned on doing?

Adolf Hitler:
Well..

[cuts to the next scene]

Adolf Hitler:
Look, can't you just forget about all that?

Creation's Left Leg:
Forget? Never! I have to draw the line somewhere!

Adolf Hitler:
That was the old me! It was just a plan!

Creation's Left Leg:
I reject you -- You and that fakakta mustahce!

Adolf Hitler:
CHAPLIN HAD THIS FIRST! Ooh, his little tramp...

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 1 month ago

Frankenstein's Creation:
Victor claims that to be truly immortal, one must affect mankind in some positive way.

Adolf Hitler:
Oh, I don't know if being positive is all that mandatory. Is your leg okay? Has it got enough room?

Frankenstein's Creation:
Yes. Sufficient. ALAS! I fall --

Adolf Hitler:
Are you sure there's enough room for the leg? It seems a bit squashed over there.

Frankenstein's Creation:
No. Worry not. I-It's fine. And even --

Adolf Hitler:
So, how is your left leg in general?

Frankenstein's Creation:
What? Oh, it still --

Adolf Hitler:
Come on. Lift up your pant. Let's see the little fella.

Frankenstein's Creation:
No. It shames me.

Adolf Hitler:
Shames? Why? You're the ugly one. Come! Up with it!

[Frankenstein's Creation lifts his pant to show his whole left leg]

Adolf Hitler:
Oh! Look at him! He's adorable! Hi, you! You want a drink? Sure you do! A wine for my semitic little friend here -- Something that follows the ancient hebrew laws, you swine!

Adolf Hitler:
[puts the wine into Creation's leg] L'chaim! Ah, I love drinking during the day, don't you?

Frankenstein's Creation:
[tired] What else is there?

Adolf Hitler:
[singsong voice] Not talking to you.

Frankenstein's Creation:
Yes, of course.

Adolf Hitler:
Are you getting tired.

Frankenstein's Creation:
I'm getting a bit fatigued.

Adolf Hitler:
[to Creation] Who asked you?!

Frankenstein's Creation:
I just am.

Adolf Hitler:
Well, then, why don't you just leave? Quite frankly, you're nothing but a big, worthless third wheel.

[Frankenstein's Creation tears his left leg apart]

Frankenstein's Creation:
THERE! Don't let me spoil thy fun!

[then Creation's Left Leg suddenly comes to life]

Creation's Left Leg:
[to Adolf Hitler] Let's kibitz!

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 1 month ago

[after Adolf Hitler's brain surgery of not hating jews was a success]

Adolf Hitler:
Hey, so, the jews...not so bad!

Victor & Polidori:
HUZZAH!

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 1 month ago

Adolf Hitler:
So, how's the little brainy-heads doing?

Victor Frankenstein:
Great. The answer's very simple. See here -- Not enough blood is entering the tolerance part of your brain. So all we need to do re-route this artery and it should send oxygen to that part of the lobe, feeding the area that's been suffocating.

Adolf Hitler:
And this will stop me from hating the jews?

Victor Frankenstein:
Oh, yes. You'll be not-hating the CRAP out of those jews.

Polidori:
[clears throat]

Victor Frankenstein:
Um, but there may be one possible side ffect.

Adolf Hitler:
What, like diarrhea? That's fine. I can live with that.

Polidori:
It's...a little different than diarrhea.

Victor Frankenstein:
I'm afraid so, Mr. Hitler. This process may leave you...loving the jews.

Adolf Hitler:
L-L-L-L-L-L-L-Loving? Not just tol-l-lerating?

Victor Frankenstein:
That's right.

Adolf Hitler:
Like, "going out of my way" loving?

Victor Frankenstein:
Yep.

Adolf Hitler:
[singsong voice] Well, that is a little different than diarrhea-a-a. Okay. I'll risk it.

Victor Frankenstein:
Adolf Hitler, GET ON THAT SLAB!

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 1 month ago

Frankenstein's Creation:
My left leg was chosen from the chosen.

Adolf Hitler:
Another drink?

Frankenstein's Creation:
Tidings.

Adolf Hitler:
Think nothing of it. I am made of money. I control many of your leg's people's banks.

Frankenstein's Creation:
Once, I controlled him. My presence filled Frankenstein with CHILLS!

Adolf Hitler:
Control is overrated. It doesn't make you happy. It doesn't keep me from being frightened.

Frankenstein's Creation:
Of what art thou frightened?

Adolf Hitler:
Being called a monster.

Frankenstein's Creation:
Aah! I hate that word!

Adolf Hitler:
[voice breaking] It probably applies to me, though.

Frankenstein's Creation:
If you're so aware of thine own heart, why struggle against its leanings?

Adolf Hitler:
I'm not always this aware. I had a dream.

[Adolf Hitler starts to remember when he was a little baby, he then starts to bite one of the Jewish Man's breasts using his vampire teeth]

Adolf Hitler:
FREUD! I SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU WHEN I HAD YOU IN MY CLUTCHES!

Frankenstein's Creation:
Zounds.

Adolf Hitler:
I'm sorry! Sorry! I'm very insecure.

Frankenstein's Creation:
You have no need to be.

Adolf Hitler:
Really? Oh, you're nice, Pally.

Frankenstein's Creation:
Pally?

Adolf Hitler:
L-Let's do some shots. [giggling] I feel all tingly!

Frankenstein's Creation:
I'm your Pally?

Adolf Hitler:
I think I'm getting spaghetti legs.

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 1 month ago

Frankenstein's Creation:
Although I am indestructible, a sense of dread constantly pervades my consciousness -- An ennui that sends me into fits of trembling unrest that I can find no solace from.

Adolf Hitler:
You're a jew, aren't you?

Frankenstein's Creation:
My only heritage... [sniffs] ...is death. Death is my legacy. Death, my birthright. Death...my inheritance.

Adolf Hitler:
Yes. Definitely a jew.

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 1 month ago

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Oh, hello, herr worky-job. Taking a break from your jobby-work?

Count Dracula:
[laughs] Nice one.

[Victor checks Elizabeth's neck that she's been bitten]

Victor Frankenstein:
You keep trying, eh, Count?

Count Dracula:
I think those holes mean more than trying. I think I did it. I put my teeth in there.

Victor Frankenstein:
Yes, but you'll never make her a vampire. It gets your goat, doesn't it?

Count Dracula:
I assure you, my goat is quite safe. Since Elizabeth here already immortal, what I care she got fangs, she can flap around like flappy bat? I don't care. She does whatever I want.

Victor Frankenstein:
You mean, *you* do whatever she wants.

Count Dracula:
No, I do what I want, and she does -- She...do what I want.

Victor Frankenstein:
She does not.

Count Dracula:
Oh-ho, yes, she does.

Victor Frankenstein:
No way.

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Hello! I'm right here!

Count Dracula:
Yes way.

Victor Frankenstein:
No way!

Count Dracula:
Yes way. But this is childish!

Victor Frankenstein:
[leaves without giving a damn]

Count Dracula:
Walking away doesn't make you right! [hisses]

[Count Dracula then starts to pull Elizabeth's hair]

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Men.

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 1 month ago

Adolf Hitler:
I... [sadly] I hate the jews.

Polidori:
Historically, you are in good company.

Adolf Hitler:
Yeah, but I'm just sick of it. It's controlling my whole life! Herr Frankenstein...I want to quit hating the jews.

Victor Frankenstein:
Then why don't you just start liking them?

Adolf Hitler:
I CAN'T! I want to, but my hands are tied! I hate them!

Polidori:
Have you tried *not* hating them?

Adolf Hitler:
What do you think? I'm stupid? Yeah, I tried! Look. [grunts] There! Tried again! Still hate 'em. Satisfied?

Victor Frankenstein:
Well, if I were you, Mr. Hitler --

Adolf Hitler:
You would do exactly as I do...if you were me.

Victor Frankenstein:
...

Adolf Hitler:
You think I want to be like this? You think I picked the shape of this dumb brain of mine? Did I choose the environment I grew up in during my formative years? And was I my own parents who raised myself in a cold, emotionless germanic childhood? No!

Adolf Hitler:
Despising and fearing jews is more than just a fun pastime for me. It is a controlling handicap that gets in the way of being WHO. I. REALLY. AM...a tolerator of jews.

Victor Frankenstein:
I'm sure we can help you.

Adolf Hitler:
Oh, Herr Frankenstein, Herr Polidori, if you can rid me of this burdensome character flaw, I would give you anything. Even the gift of me not having you executed by the Gestapo. I know people.

Victor Frankenstein:
Give us an afternoon to research this dilemma. There's a quaint little pub in the village where you can occupy yourself. My creation will show you there. He's an alcoholic.

Frankenstein's Creation:
What unreciprocated favor may I carry out in your honor today, master genius?

Adolf Hitler:
Funny. I always -- I always pictured you as being green.

Frankenstein's Creation:
[sighs] Shall we not, tarry?

Victor Frankenstein:
Well, I'll need a smoke before we start.

Polidori:
Yes, and I could use a swift wanking.

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 1 month ago

Heinrich:
Look, mother! [singsong voice] I lost another tooth!

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Oh, how sweet. Put it under your pillow for the tooth fairy.

Heinrich:
Yay! [coughs]

Victor Frankenstein:
Are you all nuts? You're having him put his dead tooth under a nice, soft pillow?

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
We are celebrating the change in Heinrich's body.

Victor Frankenstein:
Heinrich, you know that that's your last top-left bicuspid, right? You don't get a new one.

Heinrich:
I know.

Gustav:
Me too.

Victor Frankenstein:
And there is now such thing as a tooth fairy. Next thing you'll tell me is that Santy Claus brings Dracula a huge bundle of baby throats every christmas.

Gustav:
Ooh. Speak of the devil-cula.

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Oh! Hello! I'll be right out, Count!

Victor Frankenstein:
What does the prince of horny want with you now?

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
He's taking me to the opera, as if you care.

Victor Frankenstein:
I'm going to the lab.

Gustav:
Who are you helping...

Heinrich:
...that not us?

Victor Frankenstein:
Someone who actually deserves my help. [enunciating] Adolf...Hitler?

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 1 month ago

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Breakfast for dinner again? Why must you begin at midnight?

Victor Frankenstein:
Because it is SPOOKY, that's why!

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 1 month ago

Mother Teresa:
Mr. Victor, the poor, they need so much my help back in Calcuttaaaaaaaa...

Victor Frankenstein:
[starts to beg]

Mother Teresa:
...aaaaAAH! Don't give me those puppy dog eysies.

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 1 month ago

[Frankenstein's Creation tries to do the puppy dog eyes on Mother Teresa]

Frankenstein's Creation:
You scour away blood stain, incredibly.

Mother Teresa:
What? You. Those look puppy dog eyesies, those wrapping head eyesies. I no like 'em, get out!

Frankenstein's Creation:
[sobs]

Mother Teresa:
Go on, scram! Out. Out.

[Frankenstein's Creation sadly leaves]

Mother Teresa:
Are you there, Mr. Not Even Here?

[Mother Teresa had to make sure if Griffin is actually in this room while invisible, but certainly not]

Mother Teresa:
MEN!

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 1 month ago

Frankenstein's Creation:
Hath thy day been, paris?

The Invisible Man:
Look at me, I'm invisible and naked. And I still have a hard time getting laid.

Frankenstein's Creation:
A symbol in the cue behind me.

The Invisible Man:
Plus, there's a sure thing at the castle, Mother Teresa, she'll do anything to anyone who gives her puppy dog eyes except for me, of course I'm invisible.

Frankenstein's Creation:
Oh. Tell me more.

The Invisible Man:
Well, she's kind of a butter-faced. And I'm not sure what or who does look like but I'm gonna get a better look if you know what I mean.

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 1 month ago

Mother Teresa:
Alright, bath ready now, Ms. Wifenstein.

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Finally.

[Elizabeth starts to wait for Mother Teresa to take off her robe]

Mother Teresa:
[sighs] Okay, cloth off now.

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Thank you, Mother Teresa. You're so kind.

Mother Teresa:
Okay, I go have abortion, then.

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
[holds Teresa's hand] Pleeease stay. Someone simply must help me do my bath.

[Mother Teresa do Elizabeth's bath]

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Hey, Griffin.

The Invisible Man:
GEEZ! I didn't even know I be here. How could you?

Mother Teresa:
THE DEVIL!

The Invisible Man:
No, I'm not the devil, Mother Teresa, I'm just The Invisible Man.

Mother Teresa:
But how your clothes invisible?

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Because the pervert is naked.

Mother Teresa:
NOOOO! Can't look at the naked!

The Invisible Man:
Mother Teresa, I am Jack Griffin, and I'm a very lonely man.

The Invisible Man:
...

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Griffin, what are you doing?

The Invisible Man:
I'm giving Mother Teresa, my puppy dog eyes of this lady.

Mother Teresa:
Oh, no, the pu-- But I see nothing.

The Invisible Man:
Oh! It's like I'm not even here.

Mother Teresa:
Not here? No face to haunt me? No GUILT?

The Invisible Man:
I'm leaving.

Mother Teresa:
Wait!

[Griffin leaves]

Mother Teresa:
Don't g-- Where'd he g-- Puppy? Invisible puppy?

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 1 month ago

Mother Teresa:
Alright, cobbed-web all cleaned up.

Polidori:
Ooh, shiny.

Mother Teresa:
So, now maybe I have a little abort--

Victor Frankenstein:
Yeah, thanks. Um, now if you could, my wife, Elizabeth needs a little help in the bathroom.

Mother Teresa:
But the pool, I must go to them.

Victor Frankenstein:
Pleeeease?

Mother Teresa:
[stressed] Ooh, the puppy dog eyesey, I can't--

Victor Frankenstein:
Pleeeeeease? [shoves Polidori to get on with it]

Polidori:
Yes. Pleeeease, help his...wife?

Mother Teresa:
Oh, alright, alright! I'll go help Ms. Lady, but then with you hoo-hoo -- [points to her stomach]

Victor Frankenstein:
Yes, yes, yes, thank you, Mother Teresa, thank you.

Mother Teresa:
Okay, I hold you to this one. [leaves angrily]

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 1 month ago

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