Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #191

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104 — There are currently 6,896 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Fake Obama: Well, it is just so great to meet you, Satan. For the very first time ever. Satan: You see that, Johnny? We're, uh, we're not married. We're not gay lovers. Fake Obama: I can see that Johnny here has been through some tough times. Johnny: I don't see any Secret Service here. Fake Obama: They -- They didn't fit on, uh, Air Force One. Satan: That's right. Johnny: Air Force One is a big jet. Or didn't you know that? Fake Obama: I know that. I just took the smaller one. It was just Air Force Three. I just remembered. [Johnny whips Obama] Fake Obama: GODDAMN YOU! Johnny: You're a fake Obama, and you two are lovers! Everybody's a Muslim! Satan: Johnny! [Johnny leaves] Satan: [to Fake Obama] Air Force Three? Fake Obama: What do you expect for a hundred bucks, dude? – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 8 months ago
Satan: Hey, buddy, we missed you at the meeting. What's going on? Johnny: I ain't your buddy. I may work for you, but I'm not rubbing elbows with a guy that caresses Obama's butt cheeks. Satan: [chuckles] I don't know what you heard. I've never touched his butt cheeks. Johnny: Save your lies for the liberal snowflakes. I know you're evil. Satan: Yeah. Johnny: But I don't like you and Obama putting soy sauce in the water. Satan: I-- I'm not with Obama. It's -- Johnny: Stan the Man says that soy has got estrogen. That's why the vegetarians like it because they're making themselves into women. But it gets in the water table, make the bees gay, and now we're paying for all these sex change operations for these guys in the military. Johnny: I ain't gonna let no bee make me gay. I take the supplements. [shows Satan a protein jar product of Stan's Freedom Whey Insta-Shake] – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 8 months ago
[Johnny taking a break through whipping tortures while listening to Stan on radio about truths of America] Stan: The Hollywood globalists are adding food coloring to all of the white foods. White mayonnaise is illegal in Los Angeles. It has to be brown by law. Brown coleslaw -- They're calling it "Sharia Slaw." Can you believe this? People, it's not racist to say we should eat white foods in America. And that's Stan's Stance. Back after the break. [music plays] Eddie: [to Johnny] Hey, I -- I -- I -- I -- I bet Sharia Slaw tastes just as good as the -- [Johnny whips Eddie] Eddie: AAH! AAH! AAH! Dizzay: Hey, Johnny? Does this thing get music? [Johnny whips Dizzay] Dizzay: Damn, Johnny! It's my radio, man! Johnny: Don't. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 8 months ago
Satan: Where's the, uh, the creepy guy? Claude: Johnny? Satan: Yeah. William: He ain't here because of you making the bees gay. Satan: [pauses] ...What? William: He said, uh, you're working for Obama on his gay bee agenda and -- And you and him are lovers and -- And you got married in a secret ceremony. Benji: [happy] You didn't tell us. Satan: Okay, first of all, I am not married to Obama. William: He also said you're a Muslim. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 8 months ago
Rectangular Businessman: Oh, look, I'm back. Shark: Did you buy a harmonica? Rectangular Businessman: Did you get the car started? Shark: Did you get your harmonica started? – 12 oz. Mouse Movie Quote	added 9 months ago
Shark: Ok, I'm just gonna barely touch the key. No, no, not yet. Now we'll just ease into it, to lightly rubbing the key with my fin. I'm just gonna barely touch the key. You won't even know I'm doing it. Just lightly caressing the key -- And START. [engine sputtering] Shark: Come on, why are you not doing it? Come on. Come on. [Shark's car suddenly runs out of gas] Shark: Perfect. That's great. – 12 oz. Mouse Movie Quote	added 9 months ago
Rectangular Businessman: I don't even know how to play a harmonica. Rectangular Businessman: But I want one. – 12 oz. Mouse Movie Quote	added 9 months ago
Shark: [to his car] Please start. [engine sputtering] Shark: You're making a fool of me. [engine sputtering] Shark: I don't even know what I'm hearing. – 12 oz. Mouse Movie Quote	added 9 months ago
Rectangular Businessman: I could afford to buy all these, but I just want one. The best one. – 12 oz. Mouse Movie Quote	added 9 months ago
Shark: [to his car] Come on. Come on. I know you want to. For the love of me, turn on. [Shark's car starts to feel a bit of power] Shark: Alright, now -- Ok. Now we're close, I can feel that. This is it. This is the one. [Shark's car starts to lose power again] Shark: [pissed] You barely piece of suck-ass car. – 12 oz. Mouse Movie Quote	added 9 months ago
Rectangular Businessman: I equate harmonicas with the blues, and -- The blues to the poor. Rectangular Businessman: But I still want one. – 12 oz. Mouse Movie Quote	added 9 months ago
Shark: [to his car] Come on. I know you want to. Start for me. I'm touching your little button. [engine revving] – 12 oz. Mouse Movie Quote	added 9 months ago
Shark: Alright. Ok. This is the one. This is the one. 50th time's a charm. [engine sputtering] Shark: Would you please start, car? – 12 oz. Mouse Movie Quote	added 9 months ago
[continuing Shark revving up his car] Rectangular Businessman: I should have expected this from your poor ass. Shark: I'm trying to start the car. [engine sputtering] Shark: Where are you going? Rectangular Businessman: To buy a harmonica. A very rich harmonica. Shark: Oh, so you're just gonna leave. Not cool. Rectangular Businessman: I just feel ever so inclined to buy a harmonica...made of gold, encrusted in diamonds, then dipped in gold, and rolled around in more diamonds. It's deadly to vampires, you know. Or is it werewolves? I forget which. They're both poor. Shark: You are not helping the situation. – 12 oz. Mouse Movie Quote	added 9 months ago
[Shark tries rev up his car to get it going again] Shark: Come on, baby. Come on, baby. [engine sputtering] Shark: Yeah. Come on, baby. Crank it up. [engine sputtering] Shark: Now, come on, baby. Why are you not doing it? Rectangular Businessman: I think this piece overheated. Shark: I think you should shut up. Rectangular Businessman: Keep trying. Maybe you'll get it this time. Shark: [to his car] Come on, sweetheart. [engine sputtering] Rectangular Businessman: [wheezes] Oh, look, it didn't start again. Shark: [to his car] Come on, baby. [engine sputtering] Rectangular Businessman: Your car sucks. Maybe if I, uh, throw money at it, it'll start. Shark: Yeah, uh, are you a mechanic? Because I'm not. But still, shut up. – 12 oz. Mouse Movie Quote	added 9 months ago
[Fitz heard some banging above the door bunker] Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: The music knows we're down here. – 12 oz. Mouse Movie Quote	added 9 months ago
Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: There's enough guns down here to take out a town about -- Well, about this size. – 12 oz. Mouse Movie Quote	added 9 months ago
Satan: [to Goody] [chuckles] I gotta tell you again, I'm sorry, I guess I misjudged you. Gary Bunda: Yeah, you did. Literally misjudged him. Goody Goody: Gary, thank you for everything. No hard feelings. Gary Bunda: [shook hands] Good luck up there, big guy. [Goody tries to eat Gary's hand] Angel #3: [shows by the elevator] Uh, is this Ignatius? Satan: Yep. Angel #3: Alright! [Goody went inside with the angel] Gary Bunda: [to Angel #3] You're doomed. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 9 months ago
Keith: On the charge of eating meat on a Friday, we find the defendant...not guilty. But on the charge of eating people on a Thursday, yeah, he's definitely guilty. Gary Bunda: Thank you. Satan: Look, I don't want to legislate from the bench, but the Bible simply does not mention cannibalism as a sin. Gary Bunda: WHAT? Satan: But you're finding against the defendant? Keith: Yes. We find the defendant guilty. [all of the torture jury people suddenly got their heads blown off by themselves turning into Satan] Satan #2: [clears throat] I'm sorry, I meant to say that we find the defendant not guilty. Satan #3: Not guilty. Satan #4: Not guilty. Satan #5: Not guilty. Satan #6: Not guilty. Satan #2: My bad. All Cloned Satans: Not Guilty. Not guilty. My bad. Gary Bunda: WHAT JUST HAPPENED? Satan: My hands are tied here. I have to find the defendant not guilty. Gary Bunda: WHY DID WE EVEN DO THIS? – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 9 months ago
Satan: Where's my prosecutor? Troy: I'm here. [Troy comes back by sliding on the floor where half of his body is eaten from Goody] Troy: I would like to drop all charges against Goody Goody. Gary Bunda: What, he can't go to heaven -- He's a cannibal. He has no business in heaven. I agree with Troy. Troy: I agree with you, Gary. Gary Bunda: I'm agreeing with you. Troy: Shut up, Gary! Shut up! – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 9 months ago
[Goody sees someone using the bathroom] Goody Goody: I gotta go take a whiz. Gary Bunda: Just make sure not to eat anybody on the WAY TO THE BATHROOM! [cuts to the next scene where before the court started, Goody came by, by having blood marks on his face after eating someone in the bathroom] Gary Bunda: [surprised] That was a joke. You couldn't get a napkin? – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 9 months ago
[after Troy's response from the court] Gary Bunda: Troy? Really good news. I've been talking with my client, and I think I got him to agree to take the deal, so... Troy: You mean your client who testified that he helped the homeless? He helps the homeless alright, right into the oven. He's making a hobo chorizo. [Troy shows a footage from his computer that shows Goody grinding a hobo in a meat grinder] Gary Bunda: [horrified] Oh, my god. Gary Bunda: What if we do a thing where, uh, he splits time between here and heaven? I'm just trying to save some face. Troy: Your client liked to save face, too -- In his freezer. Gary Bunda: I will see you in court. And I think that you will be very surprised at how many tricks I have left up my sleeves. [cuts to the next scene where Gary just gives up sitting with Goody eating human meat before the court] Gary Bunda: I think we're all out of moves here. God help me. You're not Goody Goody. You're a Baddy Baddy. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 9 months ago
Troy: [clears throat] All that barbecue, Mm! That was some good-looking 'cue. All that barbecue. Gary Bunda: [southern accent] Objection! Badgering my witness. You got nothing, and you know it, Troy. Satan: Overruled. Continue. Troy: Typically, a restaurant will have meat and three. Mm. [to Torture Jury #2] Did you have any sides with it? Gary Bunda: [southern accent] Objection! This is a fishing exhibition. Collard greens are not on trial here. Troy: The video shows you had bean, coleslaw, and a...wait, what the hell is that? Is that a tube sock on the barbecue? Goody Goody: Eh, sometimes I like to put tube socks on the meat 'cause it seals in the juices. Troy: That looks like a wristwatch. Gary Bunda: [southern accent] OBJECTION! Objection, that is meat thermometer. Is that a meat thermometer? Troy: Do turkey legs have fingernails? Big N' Wide: That's pretty messed up, man. Satan: Right? Troy: IT'S A PERSON! HE'S A CANNIBAL! – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 9 months ago
Troy: We're willing to cut you a deal. He'll spend six months in purgatory, but then he can go straight up to Heaven. Gary Bunda: Here's my counter. My client goes straight to Heaven, I get a written apology from Satan, and you eat my sht, Troy. We're out of here. Troy:* Okay, that's fine. We'll give you -- We'll give you everything but the last part. Gary Bunda: [southern accent] Oh, that's tougher than titties on a turtle, Troy, because the window is closed on that deal. Goody Goody: No. Because, you see, he's giving us everything. Gary Bunda: [normal voice] I think I know what I'm doing. Troy: I'll eat -- I'll eat one turd. Gary Bunda: [angrily concern] He's bluffing. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 9 months ago

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Who said: "If you have always believed that everyone should play by the same rules and be judged by the same standards, that would have gotten you labeled a radical 60 years ago, a liberal 30 years ago and a racist today."?

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