Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #226

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 5,758 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Boss Hoss:
Alright, Hurlan, what's your plan?

[Hurlan thinks and starts to pat his butt]

Boss Hoss:
That's your plan, boy?

Hurlan:
Do you like it?

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurshe:
Where's my hymen?

Racoon:
I remember that thing. I gave it to Doc as a tip after he did my penis reduction surgery.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Jacket:
Remember, if you can't remember it, you didn't do it!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Sheriff:
I'm getting a rational posse together -- An impartial mob of fair-minded rabble to cut him open and slop around in his guts the civilized way.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurlan:
Think you could use your ungodly powers to mentally sniff this a-hole out?

[Hambrosia makes a dial-up beeping sound with her mouth]

Hurlan:
Dongmeat! I ain't got a fax machine.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

[Hurlan shows a wanted paper to Hurshe to know who the killer is]

Hurlan:
You seen this guy?

Hurshe:
That's my first boyfriend. He use to sneak into my room when I was a teen and forced me to consensually become a woman. Then he'd become a man on my face.

Hurlan:
I'm gonna chop him into little pieces and throw 'em at a monkey! Then I'm gonna scream, "Who's the monkey now?!"

Hurshe:
You stay away from him! And don't you dare go searching for Hambrosia and get her to use her creepy powers to go track him down -- Even though I probably gave you the idea to do just that. Stupid.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Doc:
By the way, when I'm done, mind if I keep the bodies? I make cash on the side selling meat to Pyng Howse.

Sheriff:
That's why the food's so cheap.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

[after Boss Hoss killed the two citizens, Boss Hoss's dead body gets sent here for court]

Boss Hoss:
Now, Mr. Heartshe, you don't mind if I call you Hoss, do me?

[Boss Hoss's Dead Body has no response]

Boss Hoss:
Thank you, Hoss. Now, Mr. Heartshe, where were you when the murders took place?

[Boss Hoss's Dead Body still has no response]

Boss Hoss:
What's that, Hoss? You can't speak? Because you are dead? So you can't be held responsible for anything you do.

Boss Hoss:
Like even if you were to smear dook on the judge's wife's nardsack?

Court Judge:
This preposterous. I find you both guilty, and I sentence you to re-death!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurshe:
Mind if I go now?

Reporter:
Mind? You can --?

[urine splashes]

Reporter:
Oh. That kind of go.

Hurshe:
Care to join me?

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurshe:
What are y'all doing?

The Reverend:
What the hell?!

[The Reverend tries to stab the Vet's hand that's in his book from the bathroom door gate to make sure it wasn't a sex thing]

Cutter the Vet:
Aah! It bit me!

The Reverend:
It's a miracle! A stigmata! The gloriest of all holes.

Hurshe:
I get it. I'll leave you boys to your christian business.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Sheriff:
You can't just go around killing folks to get your rod hard. I'm a Sheriff...and that's my job.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Doc:
Well, Sheriff, I did a full cavity search but nothing tasted fishy, so I got to know these bodies inside and out, and in and out, and I found out a lot...

Doc:
About myself.

Sheriff:
What'd you learn?

Doc:
There's some sick people out there.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Boss Hoss:
Let's just let bygones be bygones.

Hurlan:
How 'bout I go buy guns?!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurlan:
Daddy, you're okay! Did he hurt you? Show me on the butthole where he punched you in the face.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Cutter the Vet:
I have an emergency.

Hotline:
Good. What is it?

Cutter the Vet:
I found two dead bodies.

[Sheriff runs in]

Sheriff:
WHERE ARE THE BODIES?!

Cutter the Vet:
I just made it up.

[Sheriff checks Vet's closet and literally sees two dead bodies that he lied about on his ear necklace phone]

Cutter the Vet:
How'd those get in here?

Sheriff:
I should be asking you.

Cutter the Vet:
I called 911. Why would I call 'em myself?

Sheriff:
Maybe it's the most perfect crime of all -- Innocence.

Sheriff:
Thanks for calling it in. We'll find the black bastard that did this.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hotline:
911 -- What's your emergency?

Cutter the Vet:
What?

Hotline:
Sir, what is your emergency?

Cutter the Vet:
Uh, I don't have an emergency.

Hotline:
I hope this isn't some sort of prank.

Cutter the Vet:
Uh, no.

Hotline:
It's a federal offense to false call emergency services.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurlan:
It's Halloween.

[slurping noises]

Hurlan:
It's Halloween... and I made a casserole.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurshe:
I got you by the "Heir" of you chinny-chin balls!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurshe:
Daddy, what would you say if I told you my brother was gonna have a son?

Boss Hoss:
A son? I'd say "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."

[Hurshe takes off her cloth disguise to reveal the baby]

Hurshe:
Say hello to your grandson.

Boss Hoss:
"...Haw"?

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hambrosia:
What do you want?

Doc:
I heard there was a rapist around, so I'm just checking on you.

Hambrosia:
Oh, why don't you check on my sister? I have a funny feeling she's dead.

Doc:
A twofer.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

The Reverend:
Let me go over there, reach in, and see if I can feel the maker.

Cutter the Vet:
Great. I'll stand here and guard your book.

[The Reverend's hand goes into the bathroom door gate hole, which transfers into his book, which also makes his hand touch the Vet's private area where he's standing at to guard it]

Cutter the Vet:
[moans]

The Reverend:
What a resurrection!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Cutter the Vet:
My wife is pregnant!

The Reverend:
It's an immaculate conception! This could be the second coming.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Boss Hoss:
If you are watching this tape, it means you are having trouble opening a walnut.

Boss Hoss:
Well, now, you forget about that. I got more important stuff.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurlan:
I want to go back to the old normal, which was the bad normal before this new, wretched version of normal!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

We need you!

Help us build the largest authors community and quotes collection on the web!

Quiz

Are you a quotes master?

»
Who said: "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people's thinking."?
A James Cameron
B Nelson Mandela
C Mark Zuckerberg
D Steve Jobs