A.L.E.X.:
Jack. [tired chuckle] I've got no record of villain named Rape Ape.
Jack Taggart:
Of course there's a Rape Ape. He's that guy who is going around raping these statues. Just put that in the file, access it, and read it back to me.
A.L.E.X.:
Ok, uh...here it is.
Jack Taggart:
Well, what does it say?
A.L.E.X.:
"Rape Ape -- That guy who is going around raping these statues".
Jack Taggart:
Case closed!
Chase Fontaine:
Boosh!
Xtacle #3:
Good job.
Xtacle #4:
That was easy.
A.L.E.X.:
No, Jack! Case not closed.
Jack Taggart:
What?
A.L.E.X.:
If Rape Ape existed, which to reiterate -- He doesn't, you'd still have to catch him.
Jack Taggart:
Ok fine, then what about this guy below Rape Ape.
A.L.E.X.:
Rapier Ape?
Jack Taggart:
Yeah and look at his name, Rapier Ape. He's obviously taken raping to a whole new level.
A.L.E.X.:
Rapier Ape is retired --
Joseph Bigsby:
Oh, my god! Tell me there isn't a Rapi-est ape!
Chase Fontaine:
Oh, my god!
A.L.E.X.:
Rapier Ape is retired, and he's called that because he wields a rapier.
Joseph Bigsby:
He...wields another rapist?
A.L.E.X.:
No, a rapier. It's a sword used in fencing.
Chase Fontaine:
That is just sick! He rapes people with a sword?!
Xtacle #4:
Man, that's gross.
Xtacle #3:
That is sick.
Joseph Bigsby:
Gosh, I'd rather be raped with a penis.
Jack Taggart:
[to Joseph] And you just may get your wish.
Joseph Bigsby:
Wait.
Jack Taggart:
[to A.L.E.X.] Where is he now?
Joseph Bigsby:
No. It's not a wish.
A.L.E.X.:
God. Rapier Ape, retried from his life of crime, is currently employed at the theme restaurant, Funbeard's
Xtacle #5:
Ooh, Funbeards!
A.L.E.X.:
He makes use of his swashbuckling as one of their dinner theater actors.
Jack Taggart:
Alright people, this is serious. We've got hostages.
A.L.E.X.:
Those are tourists.
Jack Taggart:
A heavily fortified pirate ship...
A.L.E.X.:
That's actually a retrofitted sizzler.
Jack Taggart:
And an ape who is even rapier than Rape Ape.
A.L.E.X.:
Is my volume even on?
