[as the two nature guys were about to take their clothes off, a mountain lion appears]
[until the mountain lion that was scaring them was dressed up by Chris]
Chris Monsanto:
Alright, alright, alright, alright. Calm down, calm down. It's just me, Chris Monsanto, U.S. Marshal.
Nature Guy:
You really gave us quite a scare, Marshal.
Chris Monsanto:
Well, I hope you learned a lesson, too, fellas. You know this not the Ramrod West, this is Mountain-Lion Country, and that's why we at the U.S. Marshals' office urge you to have your anonymous sex at public urinals and rest stops.
Chris Monsanto:
Remember, fellas. "While you're up here cruising, mountain lions are perusing, looking to give you a bruising at a time of their choosing". You can each take one.
[suddenly another mountain lion appears and attack Chris, but Chris managed to defeat it, revealing to be another mountain lion in costume as Brett]
Chris Monsanto:
Alright. Okay. [groans] Alright, good job, Brett.
Brett Mobley:
You see, fellas, it's so dangerous up here that you shouldn't even hang around and listen to safety lectures from Marshals disguised as mountain lions. So, uh, why don't you hop in your little cloud cars and fly back home.
Nature Guy #2:
Excuse me?
Brett Mobley:
Gay people. You live in clouds and drive cloud cars. Am I talking crazy? I mean, next thing you're gonna tell me is that black people don't shape-shift and jews aren't rock creatures that live underground.
Chris Monsanto:
Brett, those are hurtful stereotypes. They have no place in mountain-lion country. Fellas, seriously, though, why don't you move along, unless you want to end up like that famous British actor Claude Balls.
