Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #10

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 6,336 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Chris Monsanto:
Oh, hey, real nice, Tiffany. Service with a smile.

Tiffany Pikes:
Well, maybe I could be more accommodating if I didn't have to spend my whole day cleaning the house! [pulls up a broom]

Chris Monsanto:
Oh, honey, is that what that thing is for? I thought you sat on it and used it to fly around with.

Tiffany Pikes:
Oh, well, if I did, at least there'd be some kind of hard pole between my legs every once in a while.

Chris Monsanto:
Sweetheart, it ain't the stiff of the skiff. It's a taddle of the paddle. Oh, and beautiful meatloaf, by the way. I don't know whether to eat that or roll it at the 7 pin. AH! BING BANG POW!

Tiffany Pikes:
Don't you say another word about my meatloaf, damn it. Learned that recipe from my mother, who happens to be extremely proud of it.

[doorbell rings]

Tiffany Pikes:
That's her. [to Chris] You shut your f***ing asshole mouth.

Chris Monsanto:
[doesn't care] Oh, okay.

– Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

[Chris and and Pikes' family head to Waterslide City]

Chris Monsanto:
By the way, everyone, my name is Chris.

Tiffany Pikes:
Are you sure this is the way to Waterslide City?

Chris Monsanto:
Well, I've never actually been there or consulted a map or anything or --

[Julie hits Chris with a stick]

Chris Monsanto:
Okay. You know what? That's it, guys. I'm turning this thing around. Kids, you want to sit in your own filth, go right ahead. In fact, I'll join ya. Ugh, I hate this family.

– Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

Tiffany Pikes:
Can I help you, scumbag?

Chris Monsanto:
Oh.

Tiffany Pikes:
Did Miguel give you my name?

Chris Monsanto:
...

Tiffany Pikes:
Look, for 100 bucks, you get the full package for 20 minutes.

Chris Monsanto:
...

Tiffany Pikes:
You gonna come in or you just gonna stand there like an idiot?

– Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

[Chris sees Pikes' family by the window]

Pikes' Brother:
Mom, this chicken tastes like dogsh*t.

– Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

Chief:
Chris. Word around here is you're pretty shaken up about last night, old boy.

Chris Mansanto:
Oh, Chief, I blew him apart.

Chief:
Pike was a bad, bad man, Chris. Trust me. The Guy's wife and two kids were better off without him.

Chris Monsanto:
He had a family?

Chief:
Um...no. I mean, if he had a wife and kids. Sweet little angels. "Ma"? They'd say. "Where's Pa"?

– Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

[as Chris was starring at his hands knowing what he did to that villain last night]

Brett Mobley:
So I say to him, "Look, pal. I ain't one to haggle over the price of a hot dog, but, on the other hand, it ain't every day I find a daddy longlegs crawling out of my hot dog bun just as I'm fixing to take a bit of my hot dog".

Brett Mobley:
[happily] Something wrong, buddy?

Chris Monsanto:
These hands, Brett.

Brett Mobley:
What, you mean the Death Punch?

– Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

[Chris does the death punch]

Susie Wagner:
What's he doing?

Brett Mobley:
No. It can't be. The Death Punch.

Susie Wagner:
I've heard about it for years, but I've always thought it was a myth, like Fibromyalgia.

– Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

[as Chris and his crew secretly head to a villain's factory]

Chris Monsanto:
Oh, guys, we screwed up. This just one of those factories that manufactures white bricks.

Susie Wagner:
Chris, it's cocaine.

Chris Monsanto:
Alright, Susie, well, that's a plausible hypothesis. Could be cocaine. Could be any number of other things, as well. [takes a bite of the cocaine package]

Susie Wagner:
Okay, just get down. The motion detectors will see you and trip the alarm.

Chris Monsanto:
Oh, okay. How about we play it this way? How about I see the motion detectors first and trip their alarm? [breaks the alarm]

Brett Mobley:
Good thinking, Chris.

Chris Monsanto:
Uh-huh. That's called being proactive, Susie.

– Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

[knock on door]

Chris Monsanto:
Brett, I told you, you can't come in and watch me sleep.

Mexican Drug Dealer:
We're here for the merchandise.

Chris Monsanto:
Oh, sorry. You got the wrong room.

Mexican Drug Dealer:
The merchandise. This is the last time we'll ask nicely.

Chris Monsanto:
[to Rosa] Honey, do you know anything about merchandise?

[Rosa quickly runs into the bathroom]

Rosa:
I'm sorry, Chris!

Chris Monsanto:
Rosa, open up! Come on! We share the bathroom. That's part of the deal.

[as Chris burst through the door, Rosa gets inside the toilet]

Chris Monsanto:
You're the merchandise. You're cocaine.

– Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

Chris Monsanto:
This is what a luxury american hotel looks like.

Rosa:
It's very...accommodating.

Chris Monsanto:
Heck, look. [sees a dead cockroach] They even put chocolates on the pillows here. Isn't that something? [eats it]

– Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

[after Chris saves Rosa from Dominic's drug company]

Susie Wagner:
At this rate, we should be at the border by 2:00 A.M. Then we can get a motel and get some sleep.

Rosa:
Thank you, Chris. I don't know how I will ever be able to repay you.

Chris Monsanto:
Well, you can start by paying for half the motel room. Then we'll figure out things as we go along.

Rosa:
[chuckles] You're silly.

Brett Mobley:
What state is Mexico in?

Chris Monsanto:
Alright, Brett, I want you to shut up.

Brett Mobley:
[confused] What?

– Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

Chris Monsanto:
Alright, look, uh, I'm gonna pump some Mexican killing beans into that guy.

– Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

Dominic Saldivar:
My process changed the entire industry. The U.S. can't even begin to combat us. And this is what makes it all possible -- La Maquina...roughly translated, "The Machine". It can pressure-mold cocaine into any shape -- Not only dummies but books, trophies, sporting equipment...dreidels. You name it.

[Dominic drops the dreidel into the basin and turned it into cocaine]

Susie Wagner:
That's amazing.

Brett Mobley:
Can you make a cocaine version of my shoe?

Dominic Saldivar:
Sure.

Brett Mobley:
How about my other shoe?

Dominic Saldivar:
Yes.

Brett Mobley:
How about my Marshal's badge?

Dominic Saldivar:
Marshals? This is a trap!

Chris Monsanto:
Oh, boy, here we go. Okay.

Dominic Saldivar:
IES UN EMBOSCADA! [leaves]

Brett Mobley:
Damn it. I had more shoe-related questions.

– Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

Dominic Saldivar:
Welcome, my friends. I am Dominic Saldivar. You have traveled a long way to get here.

Brett Mobley:
[to Chris] He's onto us. Let's bail.

Chris Monsanto:
[clears throat] Uh, my, uh, associate speaks very highly of your product.

Brett Mobley:
Your drug product, he means -- Cocaine, reverse-sneezing dust. We're here to take a lot of it off your hands.

Susie Wagner:
[speaks Spanish] We are legitimate drug dealers.

– Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

Brett Mobley:
Guys, let me ask you something. Do you think it was a good or a bad idea for me to trade my gun in for this churro?

Chris Monsanto:
[sighs] Brett, your mouth is moving again and there are noises coming out of it.

Brett Mobley:
Just bit my tongue.

– Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

Cyrus Barnaby:
The dummy is drugs. It's a high-impact, pressure-molded cocaine. And there's been a whole wave of fake dummies crossing the border.

Susie Wagner:
So, our bloodbath was a drug deal gone bad.

Chris Monsanto:
I want a name.

Cyrus Barnaby:
Dominic Saldivar. He owns the factory that makes these Guadalajara.

Chris Monsanto:
Well, kids, you know what these means?

Susie Wagner:
We're gonna report this to the D.E.A.?

Chris Monsanto:
Not quite. We're going down to Mexico to find this Saldivar fellow and make him D.E.A...D.

– Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

Cyrus Barnaby:
Yes, a kid came in and sold this to me last week. But it was worthless, non-functional -- Had no "hand hole". Turns out a Mexican cartel used it to smuggle cocaine into the country.

Brett Mobley:
How'd they get the drugs inside without a hand hole? Is there a drug hole?

Cyrus Barnaby:
No, but...take the handy-dandy arm, and then you dip it into the handy-dandy basin...and presto.

Chris Monsanto:
Handy-dandy nostril candy.

– Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

Chris Monsanto:
Well, well, well. Cyrus Barnaby.

Cyrus Barnaby:
Afternoon, Marshal. Stopping by for a quick tutorial of the linking rings?

[Chris shows him a tiny red bow tie]

Chris Monsanto:
What do you know about this?

Cyrus Barnaby:
I don't know anything.

Chris Monsanto:
Okay. [forcefully grabs Cyrus' head down on table] For somebody who tricks people for a living, you're not a very good liar.

Cyrus Barnaby:
Devin, call the police.

Brett Mobley:
You should stick to peddling fake dogsh*t instead of REAL BULLSH*T, BARNABY! [knocks over one of Cyrus' stuff]

– Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

Chief:
It was an impressive massacre. Over 200 shots fired.

Chris Monsanto:
Looks like someone really hates school buses.

Brett Mobley:
Or really loves tiny holes.

Chris Monsanto:
Okay, uh, Brett. Remember when I duct-taped your mouth shut the other day?

Brett Mobley:
Yeah.

Chief:
And it appears they got away with whatever they were after...except...

Chris Monsanto:
Ah, here we go.

[Chief pulls up a tiny bow tie]

Susie Wagner:
A tiny bow tie? Really? What about bullet casings?

Chris Monsanto:
How about sausage casings? Throw in some lemonade, and we got ourselves a street fair. [to himself] Stupid.

– Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

Police Guard:
Papers.

Mexican Guy:
Si.

Police Guard:
What's the reason for your trip?

Mexican Guy:
They are traveling entertainers.

Police Guard:
How many with ya?

Mexican Guy:
Four big, four small.

[Police Guard sees 4 mexicans carrying 4 wooden dummies]

Police Guard:
You can go through.

– Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

Chris Monsanto:
It's good to be back on el groundo de firmo.

[sees the blimp of Cloudtopia explodes]

Susie Wagner:
Chris, you must have killed hundred of people.

Chris Monsanto:
[to the viewers] Sky crime.

– Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

Chris Monsanto:
[lights a cigar] I guess, in this case, smoking is bad for your health.

[Chris throws the cuban cigar to the combustible gas]

Chris Monsanto:
Yes! [said it calmly]

– Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

[when Chris, Susie, and Brett were about to escape from the blimp]

The Baron:
Where are you going with my Marshals?

Chris Monsanto:
We're getting off this blump.

The Baron:
I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Chizz. There's only one day you can leave Cloudtopia... [gun cocks] splatter-day.

Chris Monsanto:
Well, I got news for you. My name ain't Chiss. It's Chris -- Chris Marshal, U.S. Monsanto.

[after Chris defeats The Baron by punching him out of the blimp]

The Baron:
[while falling] This is kind of nice!

The Baron:
OH, GOD! THE GROUND! NOOO-- [dies]

– Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

[while Brett and Susie are being blindfolded to do a challenge]

Brett Mobley:
Please tell me that was a sausage. [take off blindfold] Ew.

Sky Burglar #2:
[to Susie] You're next sweet cheeks.

Chris Monsanto (as Chiss):
Hey, buddy, buddy. Change of plans. Baron wants these two freakos.

Sky Burglar #2:
For what?

Chris Monsanto (as Chiss):
Eh, I don't know. He says something upstairs isn't illegal enough. I just work here.

Sky Burglar #2:
Say no more. [laughs]

Chris Monsanto (as Chiss):
Nice chomping there, Brett.

Brett Mobley:
[disgust] It was chewy like a bicycle tire.

– Eagleheart  Movie Quote

added 24 days ago

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