Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #102

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104 — There are currently 5,740 quotes total — keep up the great work!

[Baby Cakes see his Dad as a koala] Baby Cakes: Dad, I thought you kicked this koala sht. – China, Il* Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Baby Cakes: Hey, you got to come see this. There's a cheetah pushin' a hamster up in a lion. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Steve breaks into the Teacher's Lounge bringing the elixir to the teachers] Sammy: Oh, look. Bird. Dr. Falgot: Why does that bird have our elixir? Steve (as a Eagle): I'm Steve. Listen. Tenure sucks. Being human blows. You're all cooler when you're animals, and you know it. Dr. Falgot: He's O.D 'D, and he's...glorious. Steve (as a Eagle): F* yeah, I'm glorious. – China, Il** Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Steve got knocked out from a video projector from Pony] Pony: I can't lose all I've gained over a zoomorphic, drug-addicted mentor. Frank: Hey, why is this door shut? [Pony kicks the door back breaking Frank's hand] Frank: OW! YOU F*ING WITCH! I want to to meet that eagle friend, I'll have you know! What's up, Steve? Where's the eagle? [Frank also gets knocked out with a video projector from Pony] [Frank wakes up consciously] Steve: She got you too, huh? Frank: [conscious] Naw. it's nothin'. What the hell is going on around-- [then Steve knocks out Frank with the same video projector that Pony used] – China, Il** Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Pony teaching time] Pony: Which explains 9/11. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Pony sees Steve as a eagle again] Steve (as a Eagle): Hey, Pony, I stole the elixir for us. Pony: No! You'll get us fired and killed! I like being almost rich! Steve (as a Eagle): Well, f* you! [Steve leaves, while Frank secretly spies the whole scenery] Frank: That's how she got tenure...an eagle friend. – China, Il** Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Donny: And that's why Lee Harvey Oswald was God in disguise. Steve: Solid research. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[after the Zodiac Zoociety part] Frank: So...where were you two last night? Hmm? Steve: We were at the movies. Frank: Oh, great! First, she robs me of my tenure, and now she's your f*ing girlfriend?! Steve: No, see, it was a tenure orientation film. Frank: Oh, h-how was that? Pony: Really wasn't for me. Steve: What?! I cannot wait for next time. Pony: Oh, I can wait. Steve: Pony, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Pony: No. Always look a gift horse in the mouth. Trojan Horse, anyone? Am I the only person who knows history? Frank: [thinking] There is something going on here. And I am going to f* it up. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Steve and Pony gets taken into the Zodiac Zoociety] Professor Cakes: We got our top minds on this project long ago. Science, occult, psychology. yeah. We were all bored after tenure. Now with this elixir, we can feel [chuckles] alive again! Dr. Falgot: See we got a couple of new people here, so I'm going to reiterate the rules. Only do this once a month. Or else...it could have lasting effects. Dean: Oh! The only thing that can get tenured professors fired and killed is talking about what happens here. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Pony: I am loving being a professor. I can afford food and nice clothes, and now I'm gonna be part of the secret club. Dean: Pony, you're f*ing killing me! The Faculty's already suspicious about your tenure. I should revoke it! Pony: [laughs] Come, come, Dean. Does the wife like the musk of old flesh, too? Dean: [groans] Damn! – China, Il** Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Dean: Steve, it's normal to feel aimless and numb once you've achieved all your goals. I, too, at times put my perfect life at risk just to smell the musk of old flesh. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Steve come back to class while still having insomnia] Steve: Goatee, Civil War. When'd it end? Hanz: Ooh, 1860-- [Steve slaps Hanz] Steve: Hair Girl, Confederates. Name me one. Hair Girl Student: Robert E. -- Steve: [mockingly] "Robert E. Lee". I need three fat kids to lay down right here. It's broad-jump time. [takes off his robe] – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Frank becomes a student to ruin Pony's tenure] Frank: Oh, here she is! Fake teacher. Right here. [laughs] Pony: Okay, class. "America's Westward Expansion". Let's jump right in. Frank: Jump in piss, teach! Students: Shh! Frank: Whatever. Pony: So, the Americans didn't need more land, but the natural resources were like...the gravy on potatoes. Students: Oh! White Haired Student: It's finally clear! If potatoes are covered in gravy, then I'll kill anyone to get 'em! Pony: And that is exactly what the early Americans did. We killed everybody. Students: [clapped] Frank: Oh, my god. She's...Amadeus-ing. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Pony walks in with business clothes] Pony: [laughs] Yep, buttons. Frank: Pony, why are you in Orpah clothes? Dean: Listen, up History Department. Pony here has been awarded an honorary tenured professorship. Frank: What?! Sammy: She's a mere tadpole, leapfrogging regular professors. Dean: No discussion. It's done. She gets half your classes. Deal with it. Baby Cakes: Boy, I want to get teached by Pony, bad. Frank: Did you -- What?! No, you don't! No one is getting teached by Pony badly. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Frank: OP! Mr. Tenture. [chuckles] Professor above the law. I bet you have taken some great naps. Steve: Uh, kind of sucks. Being a rebel without consequences is like being a skinny in a world without fatties. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Baby Cakes, Frank and Sammy playing cards] Baby Cakes: Aw, Sammy, you better ante up. Sammy: W-Who are you, again? – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Stacy: And that's why we Vietnam'd y'all. Steve: Unh. Who cares? Stacy: [scoffs] I'm giving you an "F" on RateMyTeach.net. Steve: Do it. It doesn't matter. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Pony takes Dean with him when the manager was about to cut Dean's liver] Pony: Man, why do you got to that place? You've got the hottest wife in town. Dean: To make my life interesting. Being turned isn't as easy as it looks. Man! You saved my life, Pony. Pony: No, Dean, I saved mine. Here's the deal. You make me a tenured professor, or I tell your wife. Dean: But she'll divorce me! People can't know I'm not perfect. Pony: Should have thought of that before you got hooked on wrinkle diddling. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Dean: Punks! Let me enjoy this. Turkey Gobblers Manager: You racked up 40 grand in granny dances. You got yourself a little problem. Dean: First off, f* off. Spending that kind of money will get my wife asking questions. She can't know about my granny love. [Dean suddenly gets chloroformed by one of the granny strippers without even noticing] Pony: When life gives you leverage, make leverage-aid. – China, Il** Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Dean: Steve, tenure is the highest promotion a professor can receive. You are now unfireable...and almost rich. Pony: [sighs] I wish I could get tenure and be almost rich. Frank: Pony, tenure is only for the top profs, okay? It means you really don't have to work anymore, and god, I hope I'm next. Professor Cakes: There you go [slaps Steve with a rubber glove] Tenure. Sammy: [also slaps Steve with a rubber glove] Tenured! Steve: Thank you. I've worked my whole life for this. I'm finally unfireable. I can do...anything. W-What do I do now? Dean: You'll learn to like your new life. See, I can't be fired from being the most awesome guy around either. I'm everyone's boss, got the best house, and best wife! And I'm content with it. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Frank gets another message to Ghost Harold] Frank: "Frank, please pull my plug. Not that plug, the life support. Ha, ha". [chuckles] [Frank pulls the life support plug which mistakenly rips Harold's head off] Frank: I hope you're good enough for Jesus. 'Cause I bet Worker Heaven sucks. [throws Harold's head into a basket ball hoop] DOOSH! No one here to see it! – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Pony: Thank you for saving my job and acting gay. That must have been super-hard. Frank: No harder than you having to...pretend to be not gross and stupid. Pony: Good night to you, too, asshole. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Crystal: This what History has to offer. [shows Harold's dead body] Steve: [sighs] I'm gonna miss my nuts. Let's get out of here. [Ghost Harold sends a message to Frank while stuck in his own dead body] Frank: Wait! Harold just texted me! Students: [gasps] Frank: "I know you're not gay now. Sorry to misread you. Btw, Spanish sucks! History's awesome"! Crystal: [begs] Steve, double or nothing on finals grades? Steve: Snip-snip. Dean: Got to do it, Crystal! – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Steve and Frank died temporarily to find out what happened to Ghost Harold] Steve: Hey, hippie, have you seen Harold the Professor? Old Yeller: Harold, huh? I thought he was on Earth, looking for some gay dude. Frank: Yeah, that's me. Where are all the people? Old Yeller: Well, most people are in hell. Then a ton more are in Worker Heaven. Let us look back a few hours here. [Old Yeller spins the time pond to where it shows Crystal and his friend digging up a grave for Harold's dead body] Steve: Crystal. Where'd she get that laser? [the time pond shows Crystal bribing money to Baby Cakes for the ghost trapping laser] Frank: Baby Cakes?! Steve: Benedict Arnold. [Steve and Frank went back to the real world, after being flatlined] Steve: WHY DID YOU SIDE WITH CRYSTAL?! Baby Cakes: So I could buy all the Adult Scout Cookies and save history. Steve: We already saved it, and then you just ruined it again. [Baby Cakes bribes Steve with money] Steve: Don't help. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 3 months ago

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