Wikidude's Quotes Page #5,435

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[As Lone Starr is about to hit the self-destruct button, Dark Helmet appears] Dark Helmet: Not so fast, Lone Starr! Lone Starr: Helmet. So, at last we meet for the first time for the last time. [Thinks about what he has just said, then approves it.] [whispers] Yeah. Dark Helmet: Before you die, there is something you should know about us, Lone Starr. Lone Starr: What? Dark Helmet: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.[1] Lone Starr: [confused] What's that make us? Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become. Prepare to die. [Dark Helmet lights up his Schwartzsaber which is green, and Lone Starr lights up his Schwartzsaber which is orange] You have the ring. And I see your schwartz is as big as mine. [Dark Helmet and Lone Starr look at their respective Schwartzsabers in a humorous way] Now, let's see how well you handle It. – Spaceballs Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Dark Helmet: [after accidentally hitting and killing one of the filming crew members with his Schwartzsaber] Um, he did it. [points to Lone Starr] Lone Starr: What?! – Spaceballs Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[Princess Vespa has just mowed down a full squad of soldiers single-handedly with a laser rifle Rambo-style] Barf: Holy shit! Vespa: [blows smoke from gun barrel] How was that? Lone Starr: Not bad! Barf: Not bad, for a girl. Dot Matrix: Hey, that was pretty good for Rambo! Vespa: Let's blow this joint! – Spaceballs Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Priest: Who are you? Barf: I'm the best man. Priest: What's your name? Barf: Barf. Priest: Your full name! Barf: Barfolomew! Priest: Are you the one that's getting married? Barf: No. Priest: THEN GET OVER THERE! – Spaceballs Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Priest: Okay, here we go. The short, short version! Do you? Vespa: Yes. Priest: Do you? Lone Starr: Yes. Priest: Good! You're married! Kiss her! Lone Starr: I love you. Vespa: I love you. [they kiss] Dot Matrix: Well, [sniffles] good-bye, Virgin Alarm. – Spaceballs Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[Lone Starr, Barf, Dot Matrix, and Vespa are making a long trek across the desert] Lone Starr: Water. Water! Barf: [with tongue out] Water. Water! Dot Matrix: Oil. Oil! Vespa: Room service. Room service! – Spaceballs Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[When Lone Starr and Vespa are about to kiss, Dot Matrix's Virgin Alarm goes off] Barf: Abandon ship! ABANDON SHIP! Women and Mawgs first! AGHH! Dot Matrix: We'll have none of that, mister! [to Vespa] How far did he get? What'd he touch, what'd he touch? Vespa: Nothing happened! Lone Starr: [annoyed] What the Hell was that noise? Dot Matrix: That was my Virgin Alarm. It's programmed to go off before you do. – Spaceballs Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
King Roland: 1 Dark Helmet: 1 Colonel Sandurz: 1 King Roland: 2 Dark Helmet: 2 Colonel Sandurz: 2 King Roland: 3 Dark Helmet: 3 Colonel Sandurz: 3 King Roland: 4 Dark Helmet: 4 Colonel Sandurz: 4 King Roland: 5 Dark Helmet: 5 Colonel Sandurz: 5 Dark Helmet: So the combination is 1-2-3-4-5? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard in my life! That's the kinda thing an idiot would have on his luggage! [Cut to President Skroob walking in] Skroob: What's the combination? Colonel Sandurz: 1-2-3-4-5. Skroob: 1-2-3-4-5? That's amazing! I've got the same combination on my luggage! [Colonel Sandurz and Dark Helmet give each other a look] Prepare Spaceball I for immediate departure! Colonel Sandurz: Yes, sir. Skroob: And change the combination on my luggage! – Spaceballs Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Dark Helmet: [imitating Dark Helmet doll] So, Princess Vespa, at last I have you in my clutches, to have my way with you, the way I want to! Dark Helmet: [Vespa doll] No! No, please, leave me alone! Dark Helmet: [Helmet Doll] No, you are mine! Dark Helmet: [Lone Starr doll] Not so fast, Helmet! Dark Helmet: [Helmet Doll] Lone Starr! Dark Helmet: [Lone Starr doll] Yes, it's me, and I'm here to save my girlfriend! Hi, honey! Dark Helmet: [Helmet doll] Now you are going to die! [smacks Lone Starr doll with Dark Helmet doll] Dark Helmet: [Lone Starr Doll] Oh! Oh! Ohh! Dark Helmet: [Barf doll] Hey, what did you do to my friend?! Dark Helmet: [Helmet doll] The same thing I'm going to do to you, big boy! [knocks Barf over] Dark Helmet: [Barf doll] Arrgh! Ohh! Dark Helmet: [Helmet doll] And you, too! [knocks Dot doll over] Dark Helmet: [Dot doll] Aaargh! Dark Helmet: [Helmet doll] Now, Princess Vespa, at last we are alone! Dark Helmet: [Vespa Doll] No, no, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, leave me alone! And yet, I find you strangely attractive. Dark Helmet: [Helmet doll] Of course you do. Druish princesses are often attracted to money, and power, and I have both, and you know it! Dark Helmet: [Vespa doll] No, I hate you, leave me alone! Dark Helmet: [Helmet doll] No, kiss me! Dark Helmet: [Vespa doll] No, no, yes. Dark Helmet: [Helmet doll] No. Dark Helmet: [Vespa doll] Oh, ah, ah, ah, ah, oh, ohh... ohhhh, your helmet is so big. Colonel Sandurz: [barges in] Lord Helmet! Dark Helmet: [startled, hiding his action figures] WHAT?! Colonel Sandurz: You're needed on the bridge, sir! Dark Helmet: [unfathomably embarrassed] KNOCK ON MY DOOR! KNOCK NEXT TIME! Colonel Sandurz: Yes, sir! Dark Helmet: [pause] Did you see anything? Colonel Sandurz: No, sir! I didn't see you playing with your dolls again! Dark Helmet: Good! – Spaceballs Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[Lone Starr sneaks up behind a guard and grabs him by the neck] Guard: [pause] What the Hell are you doin'? Lone Starr: The Vulcan neck pinch? Guard: No, no, no, stupid. You got it much too high. It's down here, where the shoulder meets the neck. Lone Starr: Like [jabs into the correct place] this? Guard: Yeah! [The guard collapses] Lone Starr: Thanks. – Spaceballs Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
George Lang: The Process. And by means of the Process, to control the global market. Businessman 1: And this Process is complete? George Lang: It's near completion. Businessman 1: "Near completion." George Lang: Very near. This team which Mr. Ross — the Team. The Team. And I think, if I may, uh, Mr. Klein, it would not be amiss to state that both the work and the inspiration for the process was — Mr. Klein: Thank you, George. I know you'll understand when I say that's neither here nor there. These gentlemen have come down to hear the good news. Joe Ross: The good news is control of the market. [The Businessmen interrupt him.] Joe Ross: Obviously, we don't want to get too specific, for security reasons. So, my task today is to tell you those things which I can in laymen's language. I think I can break it down sufficiently to give you a pretty firm idea of — Mr. Klein: The Process, yes. Businessman 2: How long can we hold on to it before the competition steals it? Mr. Klein: Well, we defend it. Of course. Tooth and nail. This is a proprietary process. [The Businessmen engage in cross-talk.] Joe Ross: Without the data, without our actual data, without the formula, the Japanese, or anyone else, for that matter, would have nothing. Should you give us the go-ahead, their actual — [He hesitates and looks at George.] George Lang: The legal issues are these. We have both the de facto and the de jure copyright of that process. It was developed by — Joe Ross: Even if they should engage in piracy, their search and development time — George Lang: — their catch-up time — Joe Ross: — would put them back — George? George Lang: Three? Joe Ross: Three to five years. – The Spanish Prisoner Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[Jimmy pulls a gun on Joe] Joe Ross: You don't have to do this. Jimmy Dell: I enjoy doing it, actually. But I appreciate your concern. – The Spanish Prisoner Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Dionysus: [watching two Roman nobles being forced by a slave on horseback to fight to the death] Ah-ha ha! Come on, fat boy! Yeah! Slaves: [as Spartacus enters the arena] Spartacus! Hey, Spartacus! Spartacus: Noble Romans, fight each other like animals. [gestures to the slaves on the balcony] Your new masters, betting to see who'll die first. [the slaves laugh] Drop your weapons. [the slaves start booing] Slaves: No! No! No! No! Crixus: I want to see their blood, right here where Draba died! [jumps down and draws his sword] When I fight matched pairs, they fight to the death! Spartacus: I made myself a promise, Crixus. I swore that if I ever get out of this place, I'd die before I saw two men fight to the death again. Draba made that promise too. He kept it, so will I. [turns to the nobles] Go on. Get up! [Spartacus turns to the slaves as the nobles scurry out of the arena] What are we, Crixus? What are we becoming, Romans? What's happening to us? Have we learned nothing? We hunt wine when we should be looking for bread. Dionysus: When you got wine, you don't need bread! Spartacus: You can't just be a gang of drunken raiders. Dionysus: What else can we be? Spartacus: Gladiators, an army of gladiators. There's never been an army like that. One gladiator is worth any two Roman soldiers that ever lived. Crixus: We beat the Romans guards here, but a Roman army is different. They fight different than we do, too. Spartacus: We can beat anything they send against us if we really want to. Crixus: It takes a big army. Spartacus: We'll have a big army. Once we're on the march, we'll free every slave in every town and village. Can anybody get a bigger army than that? Dionysus: That's right. Once we cross the Alps, we're safe. Crixus: Nobody can cross the Alps. Every pass is defended by its own legion. – Spartacus Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Spartacus: Stand up. On your feet. Stand up, the way a noble Roman should. Slave: That's Roman pride for you, Spartacus! [the slaves laugh] Spartacus: That's better. What's your name? Glabrus: Marcus, Glabrus. Spartacus: Glabrus. Glabrus: Commander of the Garrison of Rome! Spartacus: Commander? Crixus: He was commanding it on his belly when we found him, playing dead! [the slaves laugh] Spartacus: You disappoint me, Marcus Glabrus, playing dead. You afraid to die? It's easy to die. Haven't you seen enough gladiators in the arena to see how easy it is to die? Glabrus: Why...what are you going to do to me? Spartacus: I don't know. [turns to the slaves] What should we do with him? Dionysus: Let's have a matched pair, him and me! [the slaves laugh] Glabrus: I'll not fight like a gladiator! Spartacus: [showing Glabrus a Roman baton] You keep staring at this. You recognize this baton? Glabrus: Yes. Spartacus: You should! It was in your tent. [holds up the baton] The symbol of the Senate! All the power of Rome! [grips and snaps the baton in two] Dionysus: That's the power of Rome! Spartacus: [thrusting the broken baton at Glabrus] Take that back to your senate. Tell them you and that broken stick is all that's left of the garrison of Rome! Tell them we want nothing from Rome, nothing, except our freedom! – Spartacus Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Crassus: Do you steal? Antoninus: No, master. Crassus: Do you lie? Antoninus: Not if I can avoid it. Crassus': Have you... ever dishonored the gods? Antoninus: No, master. Crassus': Do you refrain from these vices out of respect for moral virtues? Antoninus: Yes, master. Crassus: Do you eat oysters? Antoninus: When I have them, master. Crassus: Do you eat snails? Antoninus: No, master. Crassus: Do you consider the eating of oysters to be moral, and the eating of snails to be immoral? Antoninus: No, master. Crassus: Of course not. It is all a matter of taste, isn't it? Antoninus: Yes, master. Crassus: And taste is not the same as appetite, and therefore not a question of morals, hmm? Antoninus: It could be argued so, master. Crassus: My robe, Antoninus. My taste includes both snails and oysters. [approaches a balcony] Antoninus, look, across the river. There is something you must see. [looking toward Rome, as the garrison sets out] There, boy, is Rome. The might, the majesty, the terror of Rome. There is the power that bestrides the known world like a colossus. No man can withstand Rome. No nation can withstand her. How much less... a boy! Hmm? [chuckles] There is one way to deal with Rome, Antoninus. You must serve her. You must abase yourself before her. You must grovel at her feet. You must... love her. Isn't that so, Antoninus? [turns around, and sees Antoninus gone] Antoninus? Antoninus? – Spartacus Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Bill Clinton: Mr. Blair, the new dictator of Great Britain. Tony Blair: Tony please. – The Special Relationship Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Bill Clinton: And don't be surprised if you feel completely, totally overwhelmed when you do get into office. Because in all that time out in the road scrambling and fighting to actually get that job, no one briefs you on what to do when you get there. Though you seem a pretty quick study. I bet your gonna settle in just fine. So we have a few minutes before the press. Did anyone around here tell you to ask about the Moon rock? Tony Blair: Uh, they did actually. Bill Clinton: [holds the Moon rock in his hand] 3.6 billion years old. [throws it to him] You know, sometimes when things get stressful around here. I just shut that door, sit on the couch, and hold that rock, and think, "We all just gotta chill a little." – The Special Relationship Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Tony Blair: Suppose you know the awful term "special relationship"? Bill Clinton: You think this is one of those moments? Tony Blair: I do actually. – The Special Relationship Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Cherie Blair: You know, Bill Clinton was once asked who was he go to if there was a crisis in the room. He said his wife. Now you'd never say that. Tony Blair: Yes I would. Cherie Blair: Rubbish. Whereas their so tight. Such close collaborators. Their effectively running that country together. I think there's something quite romantic about it. Do you know, when he was governor of Arkansaw. The staffers actually referred to them as 'Billary'. Tony Blair: Billary? [jokingly]What would that make us? Terie. – The Special Relationship Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Bill Clinton: Could I offer one piece of serious advice? If it's not too presumptuous? Hillary Clinton: Oh, here we go. Tony, can I make a disclaimer here. Please, feel free to ignore him. Tony Blair: No please, I'd like to hear. Bill Clinton: Hit the ground running. Now we got off to a bad start, and it's taken us four years to recover. The other thing is to start thinking now about what you want your legacy to be. Tony Blair: I've been in the office less than a month. You want to work out my legacy? Hillary Clinton: No, no, no. Bill's right. Because if you don't do it, other people will do it for you. Legacy is reductive. People tend to remember you for one thing. You have to make sure you get ahead and define what that is. – The Special Relationship Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Bill Clinton: Let me just start by saying that it's a real pleasure to welcome Prime Minister Blair here to Washington. Today on the verge of a new century, a new millennium. America is prouder then ever to stand shoulder to shoulder with it's close friend, United Kingdom. It continues a great tradition, and a special relationship between our two countries. [the press begin holding their hands up for questions] Eric! Eric: Prime Minister, as a friend and as a religious man. I was wondering whether you offered your personal advice to President Clinton during these difficult times of criminal investigation into his sexual behavior? Tony Blair: That's what in the British media recall helpful questioning. Uh, no. [points to another person] Michael. Michael: Prime Minister, some people are struck by the warmth of the personal statements of support that you've been giving to the President. Could I ask, had you ever considered that might be a politically risky strategy? Tony Blair: [pause] You heard the President talking about the special relationship between our two countries, and the great tradition of standing shoulder to shoulder with one another. And I'm reminded of a story from the height of World War II, when Britain desperately needed America's help. It wasn't always certain that they would come to our help, and at one point Harry Hopkins, the emissary to the American President Roosevelt, was sent to Britain. Hopkins said to Churchill, "I suppose you wish to know what I'll be saying to President Roosevelt on my return." Well, he said he would be quoting from a passage from the Bible. "Whither thou goest, I will go. Whither thou lodgest, I will lodge. Thy people, shall be my people, and thy God, my God. Even to the end." You just asked whether my support, my friendship is a politically risky strategy. I've worked with President Clinton for some nine months. I have found him throughout someone I could trust, someone I could rely upon. Someone I am proud to call, not just a colleague, but a friend, and I happen to think that if you look at the American economy. If you look at the respect with which America has held right around the world today. It's a pretty impressive record for anyone. Journalist: Mr. President, do you appreciate Mr. Blair's support? Bill Clinton: [jokingly] No. [they laugh] Bill Clinton: I think he should've just come over here and jumped all over me. Thank you. – The Special Relationship Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Tony Blair: Politically, I've really stuck my neck out here. Bill Clinton: Why don't we step outside for a moment. – The Special Relationship Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Bill Clinton: In you go, Senator! Hillary Clinton: Oh, Bill, for heaven sake's. [laughs] Bill Clinton: Just practicing, hon. [to Tony and Cherie] Isn't she something. Only First Lady in US history to win elected office. – The Special Relationship Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Harry: Alright, pop quiz. Airport, gunman with a hostage. He's using her for cover. He's almost to a plane. You're one hundred feet away. [Jack doesn't respond] Jack? Jack: Shoot the hostage. Harry: What? Jack: Take her out of the equation. Go for the good wound and he can't get to the plane with her. Clear shot. Harry: You're deeply nuts, you know that? "Shoot the hostage." [chuckles] – Speed Movie Quote	added 5 years ago

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