Search results for 'spongebob' Page #2

[to Spongebob, after quitting]

Squidward:
"You know, there's something I've been wanting to say to you from the day we met: Goodbye."

Fish:
Oh wait, uh, here he is! [picks up random fish]

Sandy:
That ain't spongebob. Spongebob is square?

Fish:
[squeezes random fish into a square]

Random fish:
I'm ready, I'm ready

Sandy:
No you ain't

Random fish:
[holding a cereal box] I found Squarebob!

Sandy:
That's just a cereal box! Besides, he's yellow!

Random fish:
[holding a banana] Uh, here he is! Can I go home now?

Kid:
[regarding SpongeBob and Patrick's pathetic attempt at scaring] Those guys are dorks.

Flying Dutchman:
[annoyed] Yes, but they're my dorks.

Mama Krabs:
Oh, dear, my poor old heart.

[Mr. Krabs catches his mother in his arms as she keels over in a dead faint]

Mr. Krabs:
[gasps] Oh, dear Mother, what have these foul-mouthed heathens done to you? [secretly takes a nickel from his mother and pockets it, then rounds angrily on SpongeBob and Patrick] You two should be ashamed, making an old lady faint with your sailor talk!

[All at once Mama Krabs opens her eyes and pulls away from her son]

Mama Krabs:
[sternly] You should all be ashamed! And if you're going to talk like sailors, then you're going to work like sailors.

Mermaid Man:
[to SpongeBob] Listen up you villains, I wanna eat my meatloaf. If you don't get out of here, then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife!

Clerk:
[bursts in] What is going on in here?!

Mermaid Man:
[looks at clerk but points to Spongebob] You may kiss the bride!

[The clerk throws SpongeBob out while wedding music plays. SpongeBob rolls all the way back to his home where Patrick is waiting]

Patrick:
Did you reunite our heroes?

SpongeBob:
No. But I'm married.

Mr. Krabs:
Are you on some new allergy medication, boy?

SpongeBob:
No, sir. Just practicing my karate, sir. Or kare-ah-tay, as some like to call it.

Mr. Krabs:
Kare-ah-tay? You should be making me money-ay! With your spatu-lay! Now get back to work!

SpongeBob:
Aye-aye, Capi-tay!

Mr. Krabs:
I want you boys to promise me you'll never go on those hooks again.

Patrick & SpongeBob:
We promise, Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs:
I need a sailor's promise! Repeat after me: Yo-ho, yo-ho, near the hooks I'll never go!

Patrick & SpongeBob:
Yo-ho, yo-ho, near the hooks we'll never go.

[A sharp hook jabs Mr. Krabs in the rear end. He howls in pain and leaps into the air]

Mr. Krabs:
Mother of pearl! Fire on the poopdeck!

Patrick & SpongeBob:
Ahh! Mother of pearl! [rubbing their rears] Fire on the poopdeck!

Mr. Krabs:
Look Squidward! Money!

Squidward:
Mr. Krabs, I can't believe I'm saying this, but how could you trade SpongeBob for 62 cents?!

Mr. Krabs:
You think I could've gotten more?

Mr. Krabs:
No more cryin'. We'll get ya a date. Why, I'll take ya.

[Pearl is about to start crying again]

Mr. Krabs:
What about Squidward?

[he points to Squidward, who is filing his nails; Pearl is about to start crying even more]

Mr. Krabs:
Wait. Wait. Here. Take SpongeBob.

Pearl:
[screams] The fry cook?! Do you know what that would do to my complexion? People will mistake me for a planetarium!

Mr. Krabs:
What do you mean?

Pearl:
I... don't know. But I can't take him, Daddy. They'll kick me off the Most-Frequently-Pictured-in-the-Yearbook Committee.

Mr. Krabs:
Yeah, they would.

Mr. Krabs:
The hooks, me bucko. They're back. Beware the hooks.

SpongeBob:
The hooks?

Mr. Krabs:
AYE, the hooks. They dangle down and draw you close with their pleasing shapes and beguiling colors, and just when you think you've found the land of milk and honey, they grab ya by the britches, and haul you way up high, and higher, and higher, and HIGHER, until you're hauled up to the surface, flopping and gasping for breath! And then they cook ya, and then they eat ya--or worse!

SpongeBob:
[terrified] What could be worse than that?

Mr. Krabs:
[softly] Gift shops.

Mr. Krabs:
Wait a minute. This ain't me millionth dollar. This is an ordinary dollar that's been crumpled up, torn slightly, soaked in the lagoon and kissed with Coral Blue Number Two Semi-Gloss lipstick.

Spongebob (shows that he's wearing the aforementioned lipstick):
Actually, it's Coral Blue Number Three! [Squidward smacks him in the head]

Mr. Krabs:
What would you like?

Tom:
I'll take a [squeak].

Mr. Krabs:
What did you say?

Tom:
I said, I'll take a [squeak].

SpongeBob:
I heard his order, Mr. Krabs, he said he wants the [squeak].

Mr. Krabs:
Huh?! [montage which leads to Krabs going insane]

Mr. Krabs:
You'll never get me to believe in magic, NEVER! Just to prove it to you, I'll demonstrate! [takes out a penny and walks over to the well] I wish I was steamed, and served with a side of melted butter! [laughs as he tosses the penny in]

Spongebob:
Mr. Krabs, NOOOOOO!

Mr. Krabs:
Well, where's your magic now? [disappears; the camera pans to a steamed crab on a plate] Ohhh, where am I? [a side of melted butter is placed next to the steamed crab] What's going on, here? [a man puts on an apron with a picure of a red crab silhouette that reads "THE END"] Uh-oh! [quickly and cautiously] I do believe in magic! I do believe in magic! I do believe in magic! OOOH, NOOOOOO!

PATRICK:
I'm sorry Spongebob, but Gary's with me now, you had your chance and you failed. You have to stop living in the past. Face it Spongebob, you're only hurting yourself, it's what Gary wants, and what Gary wants is me! Right Gary? Huh?

Patrick:
SpongeBob?

SpongeBob:
Go. Run away like all the others. No one would want a friend as ugly as I am. [slams his hands onto his organ]

Patrick:
Sure they would! It makes them feel better about the way they look!

Patrick:
What is wrong with you people?! Afraid to look ugliness in the face?! [picks up SpongeBob and starts waving him around] Well, HERE! LOOK AT IT! IT'S UGLY, ISN'T IT?! [waves SpongeBob at one group of people] YOU LOOK AT IT!

SpongeBob:
Hello.

[Group runs off after smelling his breath]

Patrick:
[waves SpongeBob at another group] YOU LOOK AT IT!

SpongeBob:
Hi.

[Second group follows suit]

Patrick:
[waves him at the entire audience] LOOK AT IT!

[Audience runs off]

Patrick:
LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT IT! I WANT ALL OF YOU TO LOOK AT IT!!

Patrick:
[about Kevin] What's so great about a nerdy pickle?

SpongeBob:
If I could just touch the hem of his pocket protector, then maybe some of his greatness will rub off on me!

Patrick:
SpongeBob, as a friend, I must say, that's really geeky. [Jeffrey the Jellyfish walks by; Patrick gasps] Oh, my gosh! Jeffrey Jellyfish! [runs after him] Wait, Jeffrey, I have to touch you!

Guard:
[running after Patrick] Hey!

Pearl:
Look, it's Spongebob Nudie pants!

Plankton:
Spongebob, you'll never get what you want! You just let people step all over you. You're just like stairs.

SpongeBob & Patrick:
Ha! Darn! Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as...PICKLED FISH LIPS!! (both cover their mouth) Sea weevel. Gorgy smorgy.

SpongeBob:
At least I'm safe inside my mind.

Patrick:
At least I'm safe inside my mind. (Both scream in each other’s faces)

SpongeBob:
Bubble Buddy, you go dig him up while I get us some ice cream.

Scooter:
[buried up to his head in sand; to Bubble Buddy] Don't just stand there, dude! The tide's coming in! [laughs] ...Dude?

SpongeBob:
But sir, there's gotta be something I need to improve on... ANYTHING!

Plankton:
All right, the sauce.

SpongeBob:
[takes a step back] What...?

Plankton:
The sauce, you're usin' too much sauce. Okay? Review's over.

[SpongeBob's eyes grow squinted and slanted, lips become distorted, and starts to spasm back and forth with his arms, making noises as if he's about to sob]

Plankton:
What's wrong with you? All I said was a little too much sauce, it's no big deal, really. What do you want from me, a promotion?!

SpongeBob:
[turns instantly normal] A promo- a promo- A PROMOTION?!

Plankton:
Eeh, sure, kid. You're uh... you're on register now.

SpongeBob:
[a lit fuse having appeared as if he were a bomb] [gasps] Register? [explodes]

Plankton:
Glad that's over.

SpongeBob:
Excuse me, you are sitting on my body, which is also my face.

Plankton:
Don't let that guy sit on you! Be assertive!

SpongeBob:
( pokes finger into fish's pocket ) BEE-BEEP!

Plankton:
Not insertive!

SpongeBob:
Good afternoon, sir. Can we interest you in some... [holds up chocolate bar] chocolate?

Tom:
Chocolate? Did you say chocolate?!

Patrick:
Yes, sir! With or without nuts?

Tom:
Chocolate?! CHOCOLATE?!!! CHOOOOOCOLAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!! CHOOOOOCOLAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!! [terrified, Spongebob and Patrick run away Tom then chases them while madly screaming 'CHOCOLATE!!!']