Search results for 'spongebob' Page #47

[SpongeBob accidentally swallows a bit of eraser shaving, and quickly runs for water]

SpongeBob:
[breathing deeply] That was a close one!

Gary:
Meow.

Spongebob:
[frowning] What do you mean, "overly dramatic," Gary?

[SpongeBob and Patrick approach Tentacle Acres]

SpongeBob:
Here it is, Patrick. Now we just gotta convince Squidward to come back home. You got our apology cake?

[Patrick holds up a large cake with the word "Sorry" written on it in icing. He keeps the cake safe in his pants]

SpongeBob:
We're ready!

Patrick:
Ying!

[SpongeBob and Patrick are crying because they miss Sandy]

SpongeBob:
Why did she have to go to the science convention and TAY-HAUS [Spanish pronounciation of "Texas"]?

Patrick:
TAY-HAUS!

SpongeBob:
She won't be back for one more hour, 26 minutes, and 47 seconds! [they start squirting tears at each other]

Patrick:
I miss Sandy so much! Her tentacles, the way she plays clarinet, her massive nose...

SpongeBob:
Uh, Patrick, that's Squidward. He's not gone; he's right here! [camera pans to Squidward planting a flower in the ground]

Squidward:
No I'm not. [walks away]

SpongeBob:
I sure do miss that squirrel! Her karate chopping, that 10-gallon glass dome over her dome, and who can forget those buck teeth? After Sandy gets back, we're gonna let her know how much we miss her!

Patrick:
Is Sandy the one I call "mom"?

SpongeBob:
No, Patrick, that's your mother. But that does give me an idea! We'll throw Sandy the mother of all welcome-home parties! Patrick, to the tree dome!

Patrick:
WHOHAIE!

[SpongeBob and Patrick are fighting over the invisible paint, they accidentally make their clothes disappear]

Patrick:
Hey, the invisible spray works!

Tom:
[drives the tour bus up right next to them] And on your right if you look, you'll see two naked guys fighting over a can of spray paint! [the passengers laugh as the bus drives away]

Narrator:
Several bad puns later...

[SpongeBob and Patrick are playing a game in which they whisper messages to each other using bubbles. SpongeBob dips his bubble wand into his bottle of bubble mix, thinks a moment, then whispers a message into his bubble. The bubble floats to Patrick and pops, and SpongeBob's message is revealed]

SpongeBob:
Hi, Patrick.

[Patrick giggles, then dips his own wand into his own bottle, then shoves the wand into his mouth and takes it out before dipping it into his bottle again and whispering his own message to SpongeBob. The bubble floats to SpongeBob and pops, revealing Patrick's message]

Patrick:
Hey, SpongeBob.

[SpongeBob laughs, much to Squidward's annoyance]

[SpongeBob and Patrick are stranded in Rock Bottom]

SpongeBob:
It sure is weird around here. Kind of different. Even the soil looks different. [scoops up a handful of soil]

Soil:
Would you [blows raspberry] mind [blows raspberry] putting me down? [SpongeBob shakes him off as he gasps]

Patrick:
SpongeBob, I don't like it here. It's dark and scary. I don't wanna be here. I wanna go home. Look, I can't even tell the bathrooms apart! [bathroom doors have the "?" on one door and the "¿" on the other]

SpongeBob:
Uhh, that's an easy one, Patrick. We just wait for somebody to come out and then you'll know. [Incidental 200 comes out the "¿" door. Patrick gasps] Maybe we should wait for one more. [Incidental 214 comes out of the "?" door. Incidentals 222, 204, and 201 come out the "¿" door]

Patrick:
I still can't read the sign! I wanna go home!

[SpongeBob and Patrick are stranded in Rock Bottom]

SpongeBob:
It sure is weird around here. Kind of different. Even the soil looks different. [scoops up a handful of soil]

Soil:
Would you mind-- [blows raspberry] --putting me down?

[SpongeBob and Patrick are talking backwards]

SpongeBob:
.kcirtap, yeH (Hey, Patrick.)

Patrick:
.pu evig I (I give up.)

SpongeBob:
!edis etisoppo eht ot teg oT (To get to the opposite side!)

[Both laughing backwards]

[SpongeBob and Patrick are trying to rob the bank]

SpongeBob:
Alright! Put the money. In. The. Bag! PUT IT IN!

Bank Teller:
Umm, you're facing the wrong way, sir.

SpongeBob:
[turns around, laughing] ALRIGHT, GIVE ME THE MONEY!

Bank Teller:
Will that be from your savings or your checking account, sir?

SpongeBob:
Uhh, savings.

Bank Teller:
May I please see some identification?

SpongeBob:
Sure. [gives him a card] Here ya go.

Bank Teller:
Thank you. [The card is shown to be SpongeBob's Jellyfishers Club Membership card; SpongeBob gives Patrick a thumbs up] Sir, we are showing a balance of $0.00 for both of your accounts.

SpongeBob:
Oh.

Bank Teller:
Next.

[SpongeBob and Patrick are trying to think of ways to make Squidward's day the "best day ever"]

Patrick:
How 'bout some soup on your best day ever?

[Squidward scowls at his bowl of soup, in which the letters spell "BEST DAY EVER". Patrick picks up a spoon]

Patrick:
Here we go!

[Patrick scoops up a spoonful of soup and offers it to Squidward, who refuses]

Patrick:
Oh, it's a little hot.

[He blows a little too hard on the soup, and the soup ends up flying into Squidward's bandaged face. Realizing that the spoon is empty, Patrick scoops up more soup and inadvertently blows it into Squidward's face again. This continues until finally SpongeBob takes the bowl away]

SpongeBob:
Uh, I don't think soup is the best thing for him on his best day ever... [motioning towards Squidward's prized clarinet] How 'bout some music on your best day ever, played on your very own clarinet?

[SpongeBob takes Squidward's clarinet and blows hard, only to produce a terrible, ear-splitting noise]

SpongeBob:
Sorry. My lips are a little dry...

[He spends the next few moments licking his lips, until they are completely wet with his saliva. Just as SpongeBob is about to have another go on the clarinet, Patrick snatches the clarinet away]

Patrick:
MUSIC ISN'T BEST EITHER!

[SpongeBob and Patrick are welcoming Squidward home from the hospital]

SpongeBob:
Welcome home, Squidward!

Patrick Star:
Merry Christmas!

[SpongeBob and Patrick come out of the jail gates.]

SpongeBob:
You're right, Patboy! This town needs us!

[A man is shown chewing his gum; gum bubble pops]

Patrick:
You're chewing too loud! [throws him in jail]

[A man with untied shoes is shown]

SpongeBob:
Your shoe's untied! [throws him in jail]

Patrick:
You're too old! [throws an old woman in jail, which has lots of people]

[SpongeBob and Patrick start punching. The class cheers, and then stops. SpongeBob and Patrick are fighting, but not touching each other]

Fish:
This is embarassing. [crowd disperses]

Mrs. Puff:
[picks up SpongeBob and Patrick by their heads] What's going on here? Well?

Patrick:
SpongeBob and I were fighting.

Mrs. Puff:
[gasps] Fighting? Spongebob Squarepants, I can't believe I'm saying this but, you and your friend are sentenced...to detention!

SpongeBob:
Detention?!

Mrs. Puff:
May Neptune have mercy on your souls! [zooms out, to reveal that Mrs. Puff was shining a flashlight at her face, she turns the flashlight off]

[Spongebob and Pearl are standing together outside Pearl's house, when suddenly Mr. Krabs bursts through the front door with a giant rake]

Mr. Krabs:
A-HA! Keep away from me precious little flower! [approaching a sea flower in his garden] You almost stepped on it.

[SpongeBob and Plankton walk through what seems to be a jungle.]

SpongeBob:
[points up at a tree] Ooh, look! Bananners! Hmm... [detaches his arm and flings it to the tree like a boomerang] Nyaa! Fwaa! [The banana ends up in SpongeBob's possession.]

Plankton:
Finally, some grub!

SpongeBob:
Let's eat!

Baby banana monster:
[Banana is unraveled.] Mama!

SpongeBob & Plankton:
Awwww! [SpongeBob and Plankton perk up and look above them.]

Plankton:
Eeeh?

Mother banana monster:
Roar!

SpongeBob:
[gives back the baby banana and chuckles, making scared noises]

Mother banana monster:
Rrrrr... [picks up SpongeBob and rips him open like a banana.]

[SpongeBob and Sandy both walk outside the dome whistling as they walk up to a Jellien Clone]

Sandy:
Greetings, fellow clone. I hate mayonnaise.

SpongeBob:
I hate mayonnaise and mustard. [chuckles]

Jellien Fred:
[looks suspiciously at SpongeBob] Hmm... [SpongeBob and Sandy both walk off whistling] I like mustard!

[SpongeBob and Sandy come across a long line of tough-looking fish]

Sandy:
Hey, what's everyone waitin' in line for?

Gruff Sailor Fish:
Oh, wait, fair lass. It be the line to get into the Salty Spitoon, the roughest, toughest sailor club ever to be built under the seven seas. Only the baddest of the bad can get in. You need to have muscles. [reveals his powerful muscles] You need to have muscles on your muscles! [reveals smaller muscles on his larger muscles] You need to have muscles on your eyeballs! [sticks out his eyeballs and reveals his eyeball muscles]

SpongeBob:
Eww.

[SpongeBob and Squidward are in the cellar of Bubble Bass' home, which is like the game, Three Deadly Challenges]

SpongeBob:
Wow. A life-size version of the Three Deadly Challenges. Beautiful.

Squidward:
Looks like a hobo campground.

SpongeBob:
No, Squidward. You have to look with your imagination. [waves his hand across the screen, revealing a more fantasy-like landscape]

Squidward:
What the? No! [ruins the fantasy landscape with his tentacles] It's a dump!

Bubble Bass:
Thou art two oozing cysts on the hind side of a plague dog's nose.

Squidward:
What did he say?

SpongeBob:
The colorful insults are the best part of the game.

Squidward:
That figures. Hmm. [walks to where Bubble Bass is along with SpongeBob] So how do you win this goofball game, anyway?

SpongeBob:
Since Bubble Bass challenged us, all we have to do is get close enough to tag him out. We get three chances, or should I say three challenges.

Squidward:
Oh. [grunts]

SpongeBob:
Oh, boy! [he and Squidward grab a sword] Look, Squidward! [slashes with a cardboard sword a few times]

Squidward:
Oh, this feels stupid. [sighs]

[SpongeBob and Squidward are making their way through the wilderness]

Squidward:
Ow, ow, ow...

SpongeBob:
[singing] The Krusty Krab Pizza is the pizza for you and me! The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza--

Squidward:
And my feet are killing me.

[SpongeBob and Squidward are totally lost in the wilderness, and are becoming worn out and hungry]

Squidward:
Sponge, we've gotta eat something!

SpongeBob:
I heard that in times of hardship, the pioneers would eat coral.

[Squidward grabs a piece of coral and crams it into his mouth]

SpongeBob:
No, wait, it wasn't coral.

[Squidward spits the coral out]

SpongeBob:
Maybe it was sand...no, mud...

Squidward:
Gimme the pizza!

SpongeBob:
Wait, I remember now! It was coral!

[SpongeBob and Squidward are trying to drag along some big items. SpongeBob is dragging an anchor and Squidward is dragging a flaming boat.]

Squidward:
SpongeBob? Truce? [both wave a white flag]

SpongeBob:
Truce.

Squidward:
SpongeBob, I can't take it anymore. If we keep this up, neither of us will win the award!

SpongeBob:
You're right. We should save our energy for work where we really need it. [it’s now dawn]

Squidward:
Okay, let's have a good clean fight.

SpongeBob:
And may the better man win.

[They shake hands smiling]

SpongeBob:
[thinking] He's nothing but a lying, boneless, ink-squirting, big-nosed phony.

Squidward:
[thinking] Look at that bucktooth, corn-fed smile, you can't trust him as far as you can throw him.

SpongeBob:
[thinking] As soon as he stops shaking my hand...

Squidward:
[thinking] ...I'm gonna make a run for it.

[SpongeBob and Squidward stop shaking hands, laugh nervously, and hastily run for the Krusty Krab where Mr. Krabs is opening it up.]

Mr. Krabs:
Money, money, gonna make some money! [sees SpongeBob and Squidward come running over] Ah, it warms me wallet to see me employees coming in so early. Boys, you're early! [Mr. Krabs realizes that they aren't stopping for anything] Wait! [both push Mr. Krabs out of the way and start doing nice stuff]

SpongeBob:
Look, Mr. Krabs! Clean floors!

Squidward:
Clean tables, Mr. Krabs! [presses too hard on the table while he is cleaning and breaks it in half]

SpongeBob:
Clean dishes, Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs:
What's going on here?! [SpongeBob drops and breaks the dishes and mops them just like that]

SpongeBob:
It's much more efficient to clean dishes this way, Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs:
No!

Squidward:
Flowers and chocolate for you, Mr. Krabs!

SpongeBob:
Look, I'm putting my own money in the register, Mr. Krabs! [SpongeBob puts his money into the register. Squidward and SpongeBob are in the kitchen] Two spatulas to increase productivity, Mr. Krabs! Faster, SpongeBob, faster!

Squidward:
There's nothing to this patty flipping, Mr. Krabs! I'll easily double your output, SpongeHog!

Mr. Krabs:
Boys, boys, boys! [music gradually speeds up; both SpongeBob and Squidward make many patties to overflow the kitchen, cornering Mr. Krabs] Help! Help! [the amount of Krabby Patties fills up the kitchen and the Krusty Krab itself, causing the whole restaurant to explode, sending thousands of patties raining down in front of the citizens]

Dave:
Hey, free Krabby Patties!

Mr. Krabs:
[with his head bursting through one of SpongeBob's employee pictures] Wait, you've got to pay for those! Wait! Wait! Wait! Boys, the Krabby Patties! [SpongeBob and Squidward come through the picture frame that Mr. Krabs is in and ask him who is the winner, while Mr. Krabs is still complaining about the Krabby Patties]

SpongeBob:
So, who's the winner of Employee of the Month?

Squidward:
Me, me! It's me! [SpongeBob and Squidward continue calling out simultaneously about who is the winner]

Mr. Krabs:
Boys! Wait! Boys, the Krabby Patties! Boys, wait! [the three continue to argue as the episode fades to black]

[SpongeBob and Squidward are walking in the wilderness]

SpongeBob:
[singing] The Krusty Krab Pizza is the pizza, absolutivally! [making spitting sounds] The pbbth-pbbb-pbbh pizza pbbbbh-pbbbh pizza, pbb-pbbbh-ooga-bah-bah... [muttering rhythmically] The [mumbling] pizza [mumbling] pizza [mumbling] pizza... [with voice of Otto from The Simpsons] Krusty Krraaaaaaaaabbb pizza is the pizza, yeah-ah-ah, for you and [high pitched] MEEEEEEEEE!

[SpongeBob and Squidward chase after the Mr. Krabs look-alike through random happenings. They chase him on the back of dinosaurs with human heads. Then they chase him through a black and white dimension. SpongeBob drops the patty, but picks it up. They continue to chase the Mr. Krabs look-alike until they finally manage to make it back to their normal dimension.]

SpongeBob and Squidward:
[see the Krusty Krab] Huh?

SpongeBob:
It's the Krusty Krab! [he and Squidward enter the restaurant] Hey, Mr. Krabs, thanks for showing us the way out of RandomLand.

[The Mr. Krabs look-alike turns around and reveals himself that he is not Mr. Krabs, but an individual from RandomLand.]

Rodger:
Excuse me, I'm not Krabs. The name is Rodger and I walked all the way from 86 Screwball Street to complain about never getting my delivery.

SpongeBob:
Oh, your delivery, my good man. [Rodger eats the patty with his eyestalk-like hat and smiles] Mission accomplished. Better late than never.

Mr. Krabs:
[sobs] Better never! If it's late, [pulls down the menu and points to the delivery notice] it's free! [sobs uncontrollably, pushes the register button with the signs "No Sale" and gets pushed into the kitchen]

[The strange lady creature takes the Krusty Krab bag, blows in it, and pops it, turning the screen white. The worm crawls around as the screen turns black. It forms a second head on its tail and it smiles with the word, "End," appearing in its teeth, ending the episode.]

[SpongeBob and Squidward sneak behind the Chum Bucket. Squidward goes to the front doors, but a meow sound startles him]

Squidward:
Nyah! Whaa?

SpongeBob:
[appears in a cat costume] Sorry. [laughs] Stepped on my (cat) tail.

Squidward:
What are you wearing?

SpongeBob:
I'm a cat burglar! [purrs and meows around Squidward and stops] Okay, I'll change. [rips off his cat costume]