Search results for 'spongebob' Page #5

SpongeBob:
Aw, cheer up Squid, it could be worse!

Patrick:
Yeah, you could be bald and have a big nose.

SpongeBob:
Sandy, I think you'd better take me to the doctor...

Sandy:
Okay, SpongeBob. I'll be there faster than a barefoot jackrabbit on a hot greasy griddle in the middle of August.

Spongebob:
[disguided as radio] And now back to K.R.U.D. with all of your personal ["You won't get away with stealing my car!"] hits! [climbs out of radio hole, Mrs. Puff screams]

SpongeBob:
"Krusty Krab is unfair. Mr. Krabs is in there, standing at the concession, plotting his oppression."

Patrick:
Liar liar, plants for hire!

SpongeBob:
It's "pants on fire," Patrick.

Patrick:
Well, you would know...liar!

Mary:
Yes?

SpongeBob:
Hello, young lady! [Patrick giggles] We're selling chocolate. Is your mother home?

Mary:
MOM!

[Mary's mother, just a brain and spinal cord of a creature, pulls up in a wheelchair.]

Mary's Mother:
What?! What?! What's all the yelling? [SpongeBob and Patrick react] You just can't wait for me to die, can you?

Mary:
They're selling chocolate!

Mary's Mother:
They're selling chocolate?

Mary:
Yeah!

Mary's Mother:
What? What are they selling?

Mary:
Chocolate!

Mary's Mother:
What?

Mary:
Chocolate!

Mary's Mother:
I can't hear you!

Mary:
THEY'RE SELLING CHOCOLATE!

Mary's Mother:
They're selling chocolate?!

Mary:
YEAH!

Mary's Mother:
Chocolate. I remember when they first invented chocolate. Sweet, sweet chocolate. I always HATED IT!

SpongeBob:
Oh, but this chocolate's not for eating, it's for...

Patrick:
You rub it on your skin, and it makes you live forever!

Mary:
No, no, no...

Mary's Mother:
Live forever, you say? I'll take one!

[Disgusted, Mary hands SpongeBob the money.]

Mary's Mother:
Come on, you lazy Mary! Start rubbing me with that chocolate!

Mary:
[to SpongeBob] I HATE YOU! [slams door]

SpongeBob:
[to Patrick] If we keep exaggerating the truth, we'll be fancy living in no time!

Patrick:
Hooray for lying!

Patrick:
You may be an open book, SpongeBob, but I'm a bit more complicated than that. The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma. [A thought bubble appears, showing a milk carton falling over]

SpongeBob:
Good deed accomplished! I ask for no reward.

Patrick:
You're a saint, SpongeBob. A SAINT!

SpongeBob:
I know, and it is a burden I must carry.

SpongeBob:
Magic Conch? What do we do to escape the kelp forest?

Magic Conch:
Nothing.

Patrick:
The shell has spoken!

Squidward:
Nothing?! We can't just sit here and do nothing! [sees that they are doing nothing; groans angrily]

Squidward:
Now repeat after me. I have no talent.

SpongeBob:
I have no talent.

Squidward:
Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.

SpongeBob:
Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.

Squidward:
If I'm lucky, some of Mr. Tentacle's talent will rub off on me.

SpongeBob:
If I'm lucky, Mr. Talent will rub his tentacles on my art.

Patrick:
Knowledge can never replace friendship! I PREFER TO BE AN IDIOT!

SpongeBob:
You're not just an idiot Patrick, you're also my pal!

Patrick:
[has just returned to his house after his work shift, only to find that SpongeBob is already under his rock, kneeling in the corner] Huh?

SpongeBob:
Who do they think they are? I've given the best years of my life to this place and they think they can just fire me like that? Like TRASH? I don't think so...

Patrick:
[concerned] SpongeBob?... Is that you?

SpongeBob:
[turns to Patrick with a demented look on his face] I've been waiting for you, Patrick! [Patrick gasps as SpongeBob menacingly advances towards him]

Patrick:
SpongeBob, you're scaring me! [screams] [SpongeBob laughs maniacally as he continues towards Patrick]

SpongeBob:
The most important meal of the day; serving it up Gary's way! BAA! Enjoy buddy. Hmm, you know, I've been feeding this to Gary for years and I don't even know what it tastes like. [tastes the snail food; his face turns green] BLEHHHHHHHH!*Echos*

[In snail food headquarters]

Woman:
What is it, Peterson?

Peterson:
I don't know, I feel...a disturbance.

SpongeBob:
Squidward's father... never hugged him... isn't that sad?

Mr. Krabs:
Yes, I suppose that is rather sad, but Squidward can hug himself DURING HIS BREAK!

Squidward:
SpongeBob? No matter what I've said, I always sort of liked you!

SpongeBob:
Squidward, I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet!

Squidward:
Huh?

Sandy:
SpongeBob's acting jumpier than a rattlesnake in a pickle barrel. Wait...what?

SpongeBob:
Hey, Patrick, are you angry too?

Patrick:
Yeah!

SpongeBob:
What's the matter?

Patrick:
I can't see my forehead!

SpongeBob:
Let's face it, Patrick. We're failures.

Patrick:
I can live with that.

SpongeBob:
Let's change our names to "Why" and "Bother."

SpongeBob:
Okay, goodness lesson #3. Er, let's see.

Patrick:
I got one. [takes the remote] I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 100. What is it?

Man-Ray:
Uh, 62?

Patrick:
Wrong! [turns on the Tickle Belt]

SpongeBob:
Patrick, that has nothing to do with being good! [fights over the remote]

Patrick:
Let go, SpongeBob!

SpongeBob:
Pat, we've gotta use it when he's bad!

Patrick:
Let go!

SpongeBob:
No, you let go!

[the remote breaks and the Tickle Belt goes haywire]

SpongeBob:
This is the happiest day of my life! [runs into Salty Spitoon]

[Cuts away to the inside of ambulance, where SpongeBob is injured and Sandy stands beside him]

SpongeBob:
Sandy? [groans] What happened?

Sandy:
You ran inside and slipped on an ice cube.

Dr. Gill Gilliam:
[at hospital] What happened?

SpongeBob:
I slipped on an ice cube and got covered in boo-boos.

Dr. Gill Gilliam:
Boo-boos, eh? Hmm... I think you guys want that hospital. [points to other building]

SpongeBob:
Weenie Hut General?!

Spongebob:
[consulting list] Let's see...'lifting weights, big laugh'...'frisbee in face, kills'...'surfing, knocks 'em dead'...'pretending to drown'... [writes as he says it] 'NO.'

Squidward:
Ah, Squidward, you've waited a long time for this. A soft bed, warm tea, a good book, and two whole days with no [imitates SpongeBob's laugh].

SpongeBob:
You know, if I were to die right now in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend, well, that would just be okay.

SpongeBob:
Oh, no, Patrick! You forgot how to eat again! I'll go get the funnel!

Patrick:
No SpongeBob, it's not that.

SpongeBob:
Darn! I like the funnel.