Search results for 'spongebob' Page #7

[SpongeBob is appalled at how putrid Patrick's breath is]

SpongeBob:
Oh, barnacles! Patrick, what did you eat?!

Patrick:
Oh, some roast beef, some chicken, a pizza--

SpongeBob:
[holding his nose] No, I mean just this morning.

Patrick:
Some roast beef, some chicken, a pizza--

SpongeBob:
What?! No! I have a brain! See, here's a picture of it! [takes out a small picture of his brain]

Patrick:
That must be actual size! [laughs with Marty and Janet]

SpongeBob:
No, it's normal size and fully functional! See! [draws math problem on a chalkboard] Two plus two equals four!

Marty:
You taught him math, too!

SpongeBob:
NO!

Marty:
And you taught him to sing! [SpongeBob gets angry] Now he's short-circuiting! Looks like you taught him a little too much!

Squidward:
Enough! Listen up, Squidwards ghost is feeling unusually generous today. He hath decided to spare ye a a horrible fate. All ye must do is tend to my every whim and tickle my fancy on demand.

SpongeBob:
Does that include...

Squidward:
Quiet! Now, do as youre told! Lest ye incur the wrath of Squidward! [hisses as he walks off]

Patrick:
[whispers to SpongeBob] I think they make a cream for that now.

[SpongeBob and Patrick are fighting about who is Dirty Dan, SpongeBob suddenly screams]

Patrick:
Screaming will get you nowhere.

Patrick:
[after SpongeBob has erased part of his nametag] NOOOOOOOOOOO!! MY NAME'S...NOT...RIIIIIIIIIICK!!!

Patrick:
[sitting ontop of spongeBob and holding his foot] Forgot the Chum Bucket! This is personal! [Take off SpongeBob's shoe and lick his foot]

Patrick:
I got this letter from my parents. [hands spongebob a piece of paper]

Spongebob:
There is. [flips the paper over and there is the letter B]

Patrick:
And look on the back, there's note. [Spongebob flips paper over and there is a music note]

Spongebob:
You're right.

Patrick:
And I got this message from my parents. [hands spongebob another piece of paper]

SpongeBob:
I can take losing the topic cards and the phone in punchbowl, but I WAS SUPPOSED TO LEAD THE BUNNY HOP! THIS IS A BUNCH OF BARNACLES! I'M BREAKING IN!

'"Sandy"':
Spongebob's tie? And all his other little dressin's? But...Spongebob always folds his clothes before running around...IN THE NUDE! Something terrible must have happened to him!

'[SpongeBob and Patrick are welcoming Squidward home from the hospital]

SpongeBob:
Welcome home, Squidward!

Patrick:
Merry Christmas!

(Hodges has been doing tests on the absorption of tampons)

Wendy:
That time of the month, huh? I know, picking out the right feminine product can be so hard.

Hodges:
You're gonna mock me or help me?

Wendy:
I have to choose?

Hodges:
I can't get this to work!

Wendy:
Well that's probably 'cause you don't have the right equipment. ... You don't, do you?

Hodges:
Haha, you're lucky you're cute. Annabelle Fundt was dosing her tampons with vodka.

Wendy:
Does that even work?

Hodges:
Kinda, even at their most absorbent, tampons only hold about 19 grams of fluid or about 20 milliliters.

Wendy:
Well, that's enough for aunt flow but that is not going to get an alcoholic drunk.

Hodges:
Who's Aunt flow? (Wendy gives him a look) Oh! All right, maybe she was just doing it to take the edge off but what I can't figure out is how she managed it because every time I throw one in here, it turns into Spongebob Squarepants.

Wendy:
You don't take it out of the applicator first. Gimme! (Hodges gives her a tampon) Watch and learn. (she makes it clear how it works) There, that's why they call it an applicator.

Hodges:
I always wondered how that worked.

Wendy:
All men do.

Alan:
Where's my mother?

Jake:
She left.

Alan:
Why?

Jake:
I don't know. We were watching SpongeBob SquarePants, and she stood up and said life was too short.

Aliens:
Thank you kindly for inviting us, old timer. Well, we're off to destroy the universe. Yee-haw!

Old Man Jenkins:
Y'all come back and invade any time.

SpongeBob:
Annihilate safely.

Announcer:
Oh, looks like number 7 has a blowout! [Gary's other eye explodes] Oops, make that two, folks.

SpongeBob:
Uhh, Gary?

[Gary's shell breaks, showing a machine inside]

Announcer:
: Plus, a blown head gasket! Oh, and the poor creature's still going for it.

SpongeBob:
[getting worried] Umm, Gary, you can stop now!

[Gary is leaving skid marks on the track]

Announcer:
He's losing control!

[Gary is running into the walls, making a bunch of sparks]

SpongeBob:
You can take a break now if you want to, Gary!

[Gary is spinning on the track]

Announcer:
He's spinning out of control! [crowd gasps] He's heading straight for the wall!

[Gary runs into a wall of tires and explodes. The crowd gasps again, then they cheer]

SpongeBob:
No! [two firemen come up and extinguish the smoke. Squidward laughs] Hold on, Gary, I'm coming! [runs onto the track]

Announcer:
Whoa. One of the coaches seems to have raced onto the track. That is an automatic disqualification. Looks like number six has this race all wrapped up, ladies and gentlemen.

[Snellie is coming up on the finish line]

Squidward:
Come on, Snellie, it's all you, baby!

SpongeBob:
[runs up to Gary, crying] Oh, Gary, I'm sorry! Why didn't you just say I was pushing it too hard?!?!

Gary:
Meow.

SpongeBob:
You did? [cries more] Oh, Gary, why didn't you tell me I wasn't listening?!

Gary:
Meow.

SpongeBob:
You did? [cries some more] Oh, Gary! Oh, Gary!

Author:
Thank you. Yes. Oh my... well, then... I'm afraid you've broken no records.

SpongeBob and Sandy:
Huh?

Author:
This book is 30 years old. These records were broken ages ago. You, however, have sent a brand new record: Most injuries sustained while helping a friend.

Sandy:
Good for you, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob:
[cracks] Um... hooray.

Author:
Say "cheese"! [takes a picture as the episode ends]

Band Members:
[singing] When Big Larry came 'round just to put him down

SpongeBob turned into a clown

And no girl ever wants to dance

With a fool who went and -rrrriiiipppp- ripped his pants

Bank Manager:
Good morning, gentlemen. [SpongeBob and Patrick scream]

Patrick:
We've been rumbled! Run! Scatter! Scamper! Save yourself!

Bank Manager:
What's all this about? [walks backwards to alarm button, SpongeBob pulls off ski mask.] May I help you with anything, sir?

SpongeBob:
Ah. Yes, I need to make a withdrawal. I need to withdraw one Mr. Krabs!

Bank Manager:
I assure you, Mr. SquarePants, we've received no such deposit. [opens vault]

Mr. Krabs:
I've gotcha now, money sucker! That does it, Lizard-breath! It's you or me, now! Just you and me! [wrestles the vacuum, and breaks it. Laughs evilly] Ooh! I conquered the money dragon! Victory! Woo!

Bank Manager:
Security! [security throws them out] And don't forget your… eh… deposit. [tosses penny at Mr. Krabs]

Mr. Krabs:
You know, boyo. Through this whole ordeal, I've learned a little something about greed. A little something about isolation. Heh. Even a little something about love. And you know what I realized through it all?

SpongeBob:
That you can't put a price on freedom?

Mr. Krabs:
Barnacles no, boy! I realized that they didn't pay interest on me deposit! [shakes fist] Hey, you cheapskates! Give me me interest! [a penny is thrown at Mr. Krabs] Well. What do you know? I doubled me money. [laughs as the episode ends]

Barnacle Boy:
I say if you're not going to give me the respect I want as a hero, then maybe you'll give me respect as a villain. A villain who is...evil.

SpongeBob:
Evil??

Mr. Krabs, Squidward, Patrick, & Sandy:
Evil?? (Mr. Krabs slaps MM)

Mermaidman:
EVIL!!!

Barnacle Boy:
I'm tired of playing second banana to a man who wears a bra. From now on, I wanna be called Barnacle Man! And, I'm through with protecting citizens that don't respect me!

SpongeBob:
I respect you, Barnacle Man!

Barnacle "Man":
That's Barnacle Boy, I mean, Man! I... Ohh... forget you people. I say if you're not gonna give me any respect as a hero, then maybe you'll give me respect as a villain. A villain who is... [the sky turns orange as thunderstorms are heard] evil!

SpongeBob:
Evil?

Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, and Patrick:
Evil? [Mermaid Man zones out, so Mr. Krabs slaps him]

Mermaid Man:
EVIL!

Barnacle "Man":
I'm crossing over... to the dark side! [points to dark side of Krusty Krab]

Mr. Krabs:
Why should I waste money lightin' the whole store? [villain car comes in, shows brief shot of License Plate (MEAN 2 U), then the window opens revealing Man Ray and the Dirty Bubble in the car]

Dirty Bubble:
Did someone say evil?

SpongeBob:
Holy oil spill! It's Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's arch enemies: Man Ray and the Dirty Bubble! [Barnacle "Man" gets in the villain car]

Barnacle "Man":
Nighty night, you old goat! [the villain car departs]

Mermaid Man:
Nighty-night! [to Squidward] Will you tuck me in? [Squidward narrows his eyes]

Barnacle Boy:
Time to come out of retirement! There's evil afoot!

Mermaid Man:
EVIL! Where is it?

Barnacle Boy:
[pointing to SpongeBob and Patrick] There it is! You know what this means? [opens box containing their rings]

Mermaid Man:
Donuts!

Barnacle Boy:
Time to come out of retirement. There's evil afoot.

Mermaid Man:
Evil! Where is it?

Barnacle Boy:
[points at SpongeBob and Patrick] There it is! You know what this means? [opens a box containing their rings]

Mermaid Man:
Donuts!

Barnacle Boy:
Doh brother.

Barnacle Boy:
[takes away the conch signal from SpongeBob] Alright, that's it! Gimme that! You're running us ragged.

Mermaid Man:
[while crawling on the walkway of SpongeBob's house.] Must... must answer clarion call! [collapses]

Barnacle Boy:
We're exhausted!

SpongeBob:
[while tearing up] I'm sorry, Barnacle Boy. I didn't mean it. I... just wanted to spend time with you. You're my heroes! [starts crying.]

Barnacle Boy:
[while SpongeBob is crying] It's too late for that, Mr. Contest Winner. I'm gonna destroy this thing with my... [echoing] sulfur vision! [he tries to use his sulfur vision to destroy the conch but is unsuccessful. He tries again, but he still doesn't succeed] Well, I'll destroy it when I get back to the [puts the conch in his pocket], uh, Mermalair. Uh, and as for you...

Mermaid Man:
Barnacle Boy, [as he gets up] don't squash his enthusiasm. After all, he could be the hero of tomorrow, or the villain. Besides, I remember another [he takes out a picture] young [the image shows Barnacle Boy as a kid holding a lollipop] whipper-snapper, who wanted to be a super-hero. [chuckles]

Barnacle Boy:
You don't even remember breakfast, you old coot.

Mermaid Man:
[walks up to SpongeBob, still crying] Maybe the conch signal is too much responsibility. [SpongeBob stops crying] But how would you like to spend the rest of the afternoon on patrol?

Barnacle Boy:
What?

Mermaid Man:
[while he and SpongeBob are running to the Invisible Boatmobile] To the Invisible Boatmobile! [Barnacle Boy becomes angry]

Bubble Bass:
I hope you didn't damage my goods.

SpongeBob:
Oh, your goods are all good, Bubble Bass. And we sure build up an appetite for that free lunch. [Patrick gulps out a bib and fork and knife]

Bubble Bass:
Oh, yes, about that. I'm afraid I was waiting for you so long that I ate them! [eats the paper bags] Mmm. [belches and SpongeBob whimpers]

Patrick:
[inhales and swallows the fork, knife, and bib. grumbles] If my friend SpongeBob doesn't get his free lunch, [a realistic close-up of Patrick's face] things are gonna get crazy! [pants while Bubble Bass melts]

SpongeBob:
That was the meanest thing I ever saw, Bubble Bass. You, sir, have crossed the line of aquatic decency. You might think you took a couple of bottom feeders like us for a ride today, but I got a newsflash for you, slappy. These bottom-feeders wouldn't eat your free lunch if you paid us.

Patrick:
I would.

SpongeBob:
Come, Patrick. I'll make you a free Krabby Patty for $2.50 plus tax.

Bubble Bass:
[watches the pair leave and laughs] Well, you pulled it off, Bubble Bass. And you didn't even have to flick a fin. [hums and opens a box]

Mama Bass:
[emerges from a box and growls] Bubble Bass, why do you think it's funny to pack your mother in a box and drag her all over town?!

Bubble Bass:
[shocked] MOTHER?! [grunts as she picks him up and stuffs him in two boxes]

Mama Bass:
[pulls a dolly out her hair] We'll just see how you like it! [pants as she pushes him]

Bubble Bass:
I didn't do it! [Mama Bass bumps into a mailbox] OW! [bumps him into a building] Mother, please— [grunts] It was SpongeBob and Patrick! [grunts] I'll dry the dishes, Mommy. [grunts] I love you, Mommy. [episode irises out on him inside the box]

Bubble Bass:
[Walking to SpongeBob's house with ectoplasm all over him. He wipes it off and bangs on the door.] ScumBob! Puketrick! You blithering fools better hand over Pigulon, or I'll chug, and I'll glug, and I'll belch your house down! [Growls.]

Patrick:
[As Pigulon, through SpongeBob's house] Nobody's home!

Bubble Bass:
Hm? [Growls while steams mad. Takes out a bottle of Fizz Bomb Cola.] Time for some Fizz Bomb burp fuel. [Drinks it, his stomach boils. Burps down SpongeBob's house. Gary falls on SpongeBob, and they run to Patrick's rock.] I said hand over Pigulon, or I'll chug, and I'll glug, and I'll belch your house down... again!

Patrick:
[His lips are through the rock.] Good luck. I built this rock entirely out of rock. [Blows raspberry]

Bubble Bass:
[Growls, then pulls out another bottle of Fizz Bomb Cola and a bottle of hot sauce] Let's turn up the heat. [Drinks both of it, and his stomach boils. Burps down Patrick's rock.]

Patrick:
They just don't make rocks the way they used to.

Camp Counselor:
[to Prisoner 6] Oh, that is very good, Bruiser!

[We see others complaining and crying. SpongeBob and Patrick sigh. They both say each other's names at the same time]

SpongeBob:
You first.

Patrick:
I...I like the other island better!

SpongeBob:
ME TOO!

[Both start crying uncontrollably]