Search results for 'spongebob' Page #9

Frank:
[notices Patrick struggling in the water] Holy cow! Somebody's drowning!

SpongeBob:
Oh, no, that's not possible. The lagoon is closed.

Scooter:
Dude, get your butt in the water!

SpongeBob:
If there was anyone in there, we'd hear them.

Patrick:
Help, help! [SpongeBob stands up and takes off his shades] I can't swim!

SpongeBob:
Somebody would be screaming that they're drowning.

Patrick:
I'm drowning! I'm drowning!

SpongeBob:
They would have to have crossed the line...

Patrick:
I'm drowning 'cause I crossed the line!

SpongeBob:
[looks at the angry fish and takes out a pair of binoculars] Okay, I'll take a look, but just to prove to you that... [his eyes become huge and break through the lenses of the binoculars] ...PATRICK ISN'T DROWNING!!!!!!!!!! [sees Patrick drowning]

Fred:
Aww, gee, some guys get all the lucky breaks. [kicks an empty can in SpongeBob's face]

SpongeBob:
[pulls the can off his face] At least you know that your leg's perimeter is secured.

Fred:
I know. I just miss being at the hospital.

SpongeBob:
Why?

Fred:
Well, secretly...

SpongeBob:
Ooh! [leans closer to listen]

Fred:
[whispers] I'm in love with a nurse.

SpongeBob:
Ooh, you're in love with a nurse? Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo! Fred, I've got an idea. Why don't we hurt your leg so you can be reunited with your lady fair?

Fred:
Let's do it, and we should step on it. It's almost time for her break.

SpongeBob:
I'd say it's almost time for your break.

Fred:
Hey everybody, look who's back!

Construction workers:
My leg!

[As Fred goes to begin his job, SpongeBob, who is shaped like Fred, continues to follow him. He hides behind the drilling machine just as Fred is preparing to work. Fred begins his job by pushing logs through the drilling machine.]

SpongeBob:
[rips himself in half] This is his job!? Oh, no. Not safe. Must think. [puts on a fake mustache and construction helmet; talks in a deep voice] Welcome back, Fred. Nice leg work, but you know, it's a lot safer if you use a... table leg instead. [pulls out a table leg]

Fred:
Wow! Really?

SpongeBob:
[chuckles] Now Fred, I wouldn't pull your leg! Watch this. [pushes the log in the drilling machine, but ends up getting caught in the blades] Huh?

[With SpongeBob jamming the machine, it starts to overload and the construction workers flee the factory. The factory unleashes a devastating explosion. The smoke clears and SpongeBob pops out from the debris.]

SpongeBob:
[sighs] Well, at least Fred's leg is safe.

Fred:
My leg is really stressing out, Dr. Charley Horse.

Dr. Charley Horse:
[examining Fred's leg] Hmm. Uh-huh. [twists Fred's leg and bite it] You're right, Fred. It's so tense, but I've got just the remedy. Take off your shoes and follow me.

Patrick:
[wearing a gas mask] So far this plan stinks.

SpongeBob:
This is no time to be smelling stinks, Patrick. I need to protect Fred's leg, and I can't do it alone.

Charley Horse:
The only way to relax your LEG is to walk on... hot coals. [removes the rug]

SpongeBob and Patrick:
Hot coals!?

[SpongeBob goes to protect Fred while Patrick hides in a sock.]

Dr. Horse:
Now, Fred, close your eyes, and repeat after me the ancient mantra, "My feet are cold, my feet are cold…"

Fred and Dr. Horse:
'My feet are cold.'

Fred:
My feet are cold. [stretches his foot out over the hot coals, but SpongeBob lays himself underneath] My feet are cold. [walks on top of SpongeBob as he burns] My feet are cold.

SpongeBob:
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Fred:
My feet are cold. Whoa! [falls on the hot coals] My butt!

Horse:
[his voice gets higher and starts to shrink as he walks on the hot coals] Oh! My feet are cold, my feet are cold, my feet are cold, my feet are cold…! [disappears; forms a word above the coals and whispers] Transcendence.

Fred:
SpongeBob, why are you following my leg?! [pulls SpongeBob off his leg]

SpongeBob:
Fred, you have to listen to me. Your leg is in constant danger. Isn't that so, Patrick?

Patrick:
I think I hurt my leg. [shows the bite mark on his leg]

Fred:
[sighs] Thank you, SpongeBob. If it wasn't for you, I never would have made it back to my angel goddess.

SpongeBob:
Oh, don't thank me, Fred. Your leg did all the heavy lifting. I can't wait to meet this angel goddess of yours.

Fred:
Well, wait no longer, SpongeBob. Hello, Nurse Bazooka!

SpongeBob:
Nurse Bazooka?

Nurse Bazooka:
Sponge bath time!

French Narrator:
Ah, beautiful springtime, a time for fun and frolic for most, [the scene cuts to the Krusty Krab, zooming in and then right at the front door. Squidward is there] but not for this poor slob. [referring to Squidward]

Squidward:
Oh, what a beautiful day and here I am trapped in a prison of high cholesterol. [the bell dings] No one ever comes in on Sunday. [the bell dings again] Why can't Mr. Krabs just let us go home? [the bell dings again. Squidward gets angry and growling into SpongeBob. The scene changes to to SpongeBob ringing a bell, set on the order window. Squidward runs up to SpongeBob] SpongeBob, stop ringing this bell! [picks it up and slams it on the bottom of the order window]

SpongeBob:
I was just testing it. [Squidward leans through the order window getting in SpongeBob's face]

Squidward:
I will ring the bell when there's an order. But... [the scene zooms out to show that the restaurant is empty] There's no customers! There hasn't been one all day and there isn't gonna be any! [struggles to pick up the cash register, but successfully does so and he slams it down making a bell noise]

SpongeBob:
One Krabby Patty coming up!

Squidward:
NO-!

[The register drawer shoots open, knocking Squidward out of the way. A bunch of coins fall onto the floor. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs' office where Mr. Krabs is writing something on a sheet of paper and he stops to hear the money dropping.]

Mr. Krabs:
That sounds like me money dropping. [the scene changes to show the outside of the office and Squidward is picking up the coins. Mr. Krabs opens his office door] What's going on out here?! My babies! [runs up to Squidward and shoves him away] Get away, you barbarian! What have you done? Nice clean money... soiled! [scoops up the coins in his claws] I'll take care of ya. Let papa clean ya up. [the scene changes to show a long shot of SpongeBob staring out from the order window] Clear the way! [runs into the kitchen and starts washing them off in the sink] No, no, no, don't cry, little ones.

SpongeBob:
What's wrong, Mr. Krabs? [Mr. Krabs gets startled and throws the dimes in the air. One dime rolls into the sink and starts to roll towards the sink drain]

Mr. Krabs:
Me dime! [the dime rolls around the sink drain. Just as it seems like it's about to fall down the drain, it flips over facing away from the drain. Mr. Krabs gives a sigh of relief. Then the dime jumps, winks, and goes down the drain] No! [grabs the dime in the drain] I got it, boy! [tries to take his claw out] What the? It's stuck! You gotta help me, SpongeBob!

SpongeBob:
You've gotta let go of the dime.

Mr. Krabs:
I can think of ten good reasons to never let go of a dime, boy. There's got to be another way! Grab me captain's quarters and heave! [SpongeBob pulls on Mr. Krabs from behind a couple times until Mr. Krabs gets thrown back without his arms] Me arms!

SpongeBob:
Oh no, not again!

[Mr. Krabs hits the wall, the impact causing the shelf above him to slant and drop a pot, a glass, a pan, a mug, a treasure chest, an anchor, a buoy, and a scuba suit on his head. A giant bump rises up on Mr. Krabs' head and then a dime falls on it, causing Mr. Krabs to fall over and black out.]

French Narrator:
Hooray. It looks like our prehistoric pals have just discovered fire, but they will soon learn that when you play with fire, you may get burned. Stay tuned. [cut back to Patchy, who is laughing hysterically]

Patchy:
I told you prehistoric times were fun! Hey! How's about I teach you kids how a caveman makes a fire with [holds up two sticks] two sticks? [rubs them together] Yeah... Doesn't get any cooler than that, huh? Chalk one up for Patchy! [a "I" is chalked up on the wall below a sign reading "Prehistory"] Rubbing... [he pants. Nothing is happening, and he eventually gives up] I guess this is a type of wood that doesn't burn. [a laser shoots through and lights the two sticks on fire, startling Patchy] Potty! [we see Potty with a laser cannon on his back]

Potty:
[squawk] Laser technology. Score one for the future. [cut to the digital screen next to the prehistory chalk labeled "The Future." The score goes from "00" to "01"]

Patchy:
Well, I have something that you'll never find in your little [air quotes] future: a real live caveman. Hmm... [the caveman walks in from behind] Hey, there he is! Come on in, big troglodyte fella. Come on… [the caveman is very slowly approaching] You see kids, I found him frozen in a block of ice and then I spent three days thawing him out with my mom's hair dryer. I call him Cavey. [the caveman approaches the camera, and recoils in horror. Patchy chuckles] Isn't he something? It's OK, Cavey. [another "I" is chalked up for "Prehistory"]

Potty:
That's nothing, old timer. Make way for the future. [a door swings up and a robot named X-29488 enters the room]

X-29488:
Greetings. I am the X-29488. How may I serve you? ["The Future" score goes from "01" to "02"; beat]

Patchy:
Where do you keep getting all this stuff!?

Potty:
Never you mind, pops. Let's go see what Cavey thinks. [squawks. Cavey slowly approaches the robot, and touches it. The robot's eyes start flashing red. A siren goes off]

X-29488:
Attack! Attack! [Cavey starts to run off and the robot gives slow chase, shooting lasers at him. For every shot, "The Future" score keeps going up]

Patchy:
Potty! You're ruining me caveman show!

X-29488:
Attack! Attack! [the robot continues to shoot lasers. Cut to the exterior, which is rumbling]

French Narrator:
Will Patchy ever get control of the special? [cut to SpongeGar, mesmerized by the fire] What will SpongeBob do with fire? [cut to the SpongeBob B.C. screen] Stay tuned to SpongeBob SquarePants B.C. and find out.

[Fade on a black screen. After the commercial break, we cut back to Patchy's cave house, the house still rumbling.]

French Narrator:
Welcome back to SpongeBob SquarePants B.C. Sounds like things have gone from bad to worse for Patchy. Let's watch. [inside, the robot is still firing lasers, and Cavey throws a giant rock at him. Patchy is huddled behind the couch. Potty watches with a soda and popcorn]

Potty:
[squawk] This is great.

Patchy:
Ahoy, glad you're back. [ducks a laser] Let's watch the rest of SpongeBob B.C. while I get things straightened out around here. Whoa! [ducks as a giant rock falls on him. He comes up dazed] Or... maybe not. [collapses. Cut back to the freeze frame of Sponge, Pat, and Squog]

French Narrator:
When we last saw our hungry troglodytes, they just discovered fire. How long will it take for them to mess it up? Let's see.

Fuzzy Acorns:
Congratulations, Sandy. You've managed to put your opponent to sleep in under 1 minute. Too bad your opponent didn't put up a fight. I was prepared to give you the lowest of belts: a clear belt. But now I realized, you're unfit to wear a belt of any kind INCLUDING THE ONE THAT HOLDS UP YOUR PANTS!

Sandy:
Don't be disappointed, Spongebob. A belt isn't the most important thing in karate.

Spongebob:
(Depressed) Easy for you to say, Sandy. Your pants aren't down around your ankles.

Fuzzy Acorns:
And I'm revoking your black belt.

Sandy:
Hey. You can't do that.

Fuzzy Acorns:
Oh yes, I can, for wasting my time, bringing me this SORRY EXCUSE FOR A STUDENT! Stick to something you're good at, son.

Spongebob:
Yes, sensei. [walks out of Sandy's house, while also having trouble staying up]

Sandy:
That was pretty lowdown, Fuzzy. The way you humiliated my friend.

Fuzzy Acorns:
The square one will never earn his belt.

Sandy:
I know Spongebob will impress you if you give him one more chance.

Fuzzy Acorns:
Silence. No more chances. Sensei never gives two chances. If you really want to impress me, show me where I can get a decent meal around here. Lunchtime approaches.

Sandy:
That's it! (excited) I'll take him to the Krusty Krab and then, he might just find himself impressed by a certain sandwich maker.

Fuzzy Acorns:
Who are you talking to?

Gale Doppler:
I'm in the middle of a severe thunderstorm— [gets hit by a stop sign] And we're bringing it to you li—

[Drizzle blows the microphone into his cloud body. Drizzle zaps Gale and flies right in his mouth and into his body. Gale is lifted in the air and he coughs up the microphone.]

Gale Doppler:
I'm Gale Doppler, and I actually am the weather! [laughs, but thunder rumbles in his body and rain falls; it appears that Drizzle is now taking control of Gale's body and is making him do what he what him to do] Huh? Uh-oh.

SpongeBob:
Uh-oh. [pulls his right leg and makes an umbrella]

[Drizzle floats Gale back into town and makes him blow wind everywhere. Drizzle then makes Gale's body freeze.]

Gale Doppler:
[shivering] My body is cold! [Drizzle makes Gale create a blanket of snow over the town] I don't want to be the weather anymore. It hurts! [Drizzle produces thunder and lightning in Gale's body, making him wail in pain]

SpongeBob:
[comes out through the roof of one of the buildings] Excuse me, Drizzle. I don't mean to parade on your rain, but could you please put Gale down? [a gust of wind blows him into the sky] Whoa!

Gary:
Meow.

SpongeBob:
[gasps] Gary! Squidward is not a freeloader, and he would never take advantage of me!

French Narrator:
Three weeks later...

SpongeBob:
He's just having a hard time getting his confidence back.

French Narrator:
Many months later...

SpongeBob:
I'm sure he's close to a breakthrough.

British Narrator:
So much later that the old narrator got tired of waiting and they had to hire a new one...

Gary:
Meow, meow, meow.

SpongeBob:
I know he still isn't looking for work! Don't rub it in!

Gary:
Meow.

SpongeBob:
Gary! Squidward is not a free-loader! And he'd never take advantage of me!

Gary:
[in his dream] "Let me not mar that perfect dream by an auroral stain, but so adjust my daily night that it may come again." Emily Dickinson wrote that.

SpongeBob:
Who?

Gary:
[flips a few pages] Here's one you might know. "There once was a man from Peru, who dreamed of his shoe, he woke with a fright in the middle of the night to find that his dream come true."

SpongeBob:
[laughs] Thanks, Gary! I'm going back to my own dream now.

Gary:
[to SpongeBob as he is heading out of his dream] Beware of your wandering eye, you little poriferan!

get a life lol i dont know what im doing but spongebob is my daddyyy

Goobfather and Mr. Krabs':
The Ice Cream King!?

Ice Cream King:
[speaking through megaphone] Cease your hostil-lily-- hostile-- quit fightin'! Ice cream isn't meant for brawling! It's supposed to bring sugar fueled fun, belly aches, and brain freezes to the world!

Mr. Krabs:
He's right.

Goobfather:
We shouldn't be fighting.

Mr. Krabs:
There's plenty of saps-- er, customers in town for both of us. [Mr. Krabs and the Goobfather eat their weapons and hug.]

Ice Cream King:
And if you don't quit fighting, I'll use my ultimate weapon, the ice cream bomb!

Goobfather and Mr. Krabs:
Ice cream bomb!?

Mr. Krabs:
[gasps] Wait!

Goobfather:
We've already stopped fighting!

Ice Cream King:
What? I-I can't hear you! Uh, hold on, I'll be right down. Bombs away! [hits button and rides down on a giant popsicle, waving his crown] Whoo-hoo! Yee-haw! Yee-ha-haw!

[The ice cream bomb lands on Mr. Krabs and the Goobfather and explodes, covering Bikini Bottom in ice cream. Squidward screams as he is sent through the air. A guy eats the ice cream.]

Guy:
Hey, everyone, free ice cream! [Kids dive into the ice cream and eat it. SpongeBob and Patrick eat it.]

Patrick:
Is this a dream?

Bubble Bass:
[with a wheelbarrow full of ice cream] Free ice cream forever! [giggles]

Ice Cream King:
[pops out of ice cream and laughs] You're welcome!

Mr. Krabs:
[turns up the thermostat and laughs] This'll sizzle their sorbet.

SpongeBob:
Try and keep up, y'all! Oh, my scoops are on fire!

Purple goon:
His funky scoops are so smokin' hot, I'm sweating! [as his ice cream melts]

Grandma:
I'll bet you'd fancy a nap, huh, Patrick? [Patrick yawns] You still here, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob:
Uh, I don't need to leave yet. I can be late for work.

Grandma:
[puts a blanket over Patrick as he lays on the couch] No, no, no, that wouldn't be the adult thing to do.

SpongeBob:
Alright, I guess I'll be going. I've, uh, got a lot of adult-type business to take care of, so, uh, I'll see ya later.

Grandma:
Okay, thanks for stopping by, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob:
Yep, that is it. Here I go.

Grandma:
You don't have to be a baby to get all of Grandma's love.

SpongeBob:
I don't?

Grandma:
Of course not. No matter how big you get, you will always be my little baby boo. And remember, you can kiss your grandma and still be an adult.

Guard:
Right this way.

SpongeBob:
Excuse me, but I believeth you meanteth to say, "Righteth this way-eth!"

Guard:
[holds his spear up to his throat, gulps, then puts it down] Some day, but not today.

Guru Greasetrap:
Don't worry, Guru Greasetrap knows a shortcut. Close your eyes.

SpongeBob:
Ooh, i love suprises! [covers his eyes with hands]

Guru Greasetrap:
[kicks SpongeBob] Surprise! [SpongeBob falls from the mountain as Guru Greasetrap returns to watching television as the game show dings and buzzes are heard "The Price is Right!']

Guru Greasetrap:
Remember, every cut is sacred. [karate chops]

SpongeBob:
[tries to chop a piece of wood but he shatters entirely. He then picks up some logs]

Guru Greasetrap:
Do not carry the wood; let the wood carry you.

Guru Greasetrap:
[face palms and sighs] When I said your true spatula was inside you, I meant it was literally inside [opens SpongeBob's face like a cabinet to reveal a spatula inside of him] you.

SpongeBob:
[grabs the spatula and closes his face like a cabinet] Woah, it's beautiful! [sheds a tear]

Mr. Krabs:
Er, you might wanna wash that first.

Gym Teacher:
Out, out, out!

Larry:
Hey, what's the big idea?

Gym Teacher:
This! [shows him the newspaper]

Larry:
[reading] "Larry the Loser gets beaten up by pipsqueak"? [protesting] But, but, but-

Gym Teacher:
No "buts"! I can't have a wimp like you destroying my gym's reputation! You're banned forever! [throws him out]

SpongeBob:
[walks up] Hello, Larry.

Larry:
Not now, SpongeBob. Let me take in the fact that my life is ruined!

SpongeBob:
"Ruined"? What are you talking about?

Larry:
These lies someone wrote about me. [shows him the paper, and SpongeBob gasps]

[Scene cuts to the Krusty Krab.]

Mr. Krabs:
Thanks for your business, and here's your paper. [hands fish the paper]

Henry's wife:
[over speaker] Please wait until the car has come to a complete stop...and STOP CRYING!

Employee 3:
It's over. You can get out now.

SpongeBob and Patrick:
We did it! [both get out and run around in circles]

SpongeBob:
We conquered our fears!

Patrick:
We survived the Fist o' Pain!

Employee 3:
Hey, hold it right there! You forgot these.

SpongeBob and Patrick:
Our spines! [grab their spines] Yeah! [when they grab them, they start to wiggle their bodies and then bend them backwards. They laugh]

SpongeBob:
Let's go again!

Patrick:
Yeah!

Holly:
(to Gary, on the phone) Don't worry! I'll just tell Jeff you missed the bus. (hangs up, to Jeff) Gary's running late. He's watching "SpongeBob SquarePants".

Jeff:
What a loser! It's a repeat!