Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #103

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 5,740 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Steve:
You told him you weren't gay, didn't you? If we get fewer students than Crystal, I'll lose the bet and she will cut my nuts off! Where is he?!

Frank:
Hey, I didn't tell him anything. He makes me popular, alright? And WAIT! I got engaged for your nut bet?

Pony:
Hold on. Crystal has nuts?

Frank:
Oh, yeah. Big'uns.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Harold:
Frank, I'm so sorry I sprung that on you in public. I just hmm! Get carried away.

Frank:
Naw, man. Naw. I'm just, uh, I'm old-school. You see, I've been saving my gay self for marriage, you know?

Harold:
Yes, Frank, I do know.

[Ghost Harold then makes a speech]

Harold:
Frank? Yoo-hoo! Up here! I know this is sudden, but life is short. [laughs] Will you marry me?

Pony:
[slurred] Dream Team! Got to say yes!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Pony:
[slurred] Frank, why didn't you tell him that you're not gay, dummy?

Steve:
No, Pony. Frank's gotta play gay till registration day.

Frank:
You can't fake gay sex, okay. Hips won't lie.

Baby Cakes:
He's like a fog. It'd be like screwing the wind, right?

Frank:
No, I've seen him lift stuff.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Frank:
Listen, we got to talk, man. I am not --

Students:
[cheered and applause]

Harold:
I stopped being a coward! I'm sorry to run away in the Glen. Oh, death made it so clear! I'm GAY AS A GIRL! LIKE YOU! I LOVE YOU, TOO, FRANK!

Steve:
[behind the class door window] What the f***?

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Dean:
Preregistration numbers show that history will be the top course next semester. Better step up your game, Crystal.

Crystal:
[to Steve] Let's up the stakes. Winner cuts the nuts off the loser. What? Chicken?

Dean:
Got a nut bet on registration numbers? Cool! Got to do it, Steve.

Steve:
Got to, and will.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Frank:
I'm in shape, kids respect me, I'm one with nature. My life is so much better with you in it!

Harold:
Wow. You really feel that way about me?

[Ghost Harold kisses Frank then blushingly leaves]

Frank:
[sputters] OH, [bleep]!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Dr. Falgot:
Well, I guess we're expecting more students next semester 'cause I just got okayed to order a crap-load more drugs for the Campus Clinic.

Frank:
Yeah, you can thank me and Harold for that, Dr. Falgot.

Sammy:
No one asked if I cared to have a spirit up in...everywhere.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Frank:
What's up! I'm like Robin to a dead Batman.

Harold:
Oh, Cuban Missile Crisis, huh, Steve? Want to get some inside perspective?

[Harold speed-dialed JFK on phone]

JFK:
Do you have any questions for me?

Frank:
You, with the skin and the problem.

Wrinkled Skin Woman:
What was Marilyn Monroe like?

JFK:
She was just as mushy as all your mothers.

Students:
[gasps]

JFK:
Or so I'm told.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Steve:
So, JFK had the FBI burn Disney's boat...and all the whores with it.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Steve:
So, Crystal, looks like we may beat your ass next semester in registration.

Crystal:
Care to wager, Steven? 100 lashes?

Steve:
Seems a bit medieval, weirdo, but alright.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Harold:
That's right. Frank and I got skills! Watch this!

[Ghost Harold throws the basketball at the gymnasium window]

Student:
IT WENT IN!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Harold:
Hey, Frank! It's me, Harold. I came back to talk to you. Oh! Am I scaring you?

Frank:
No, no, you're just different. You...dress cool.

Harold:
I know! I'm happy now! I feel so free! Oh! I can fly and interact with the dead! Who should I call? Name it. Name it. I'll name it. Columbus? Watch this.

[Ghost Harold speed-dialed Columbus]

Harold:
[on phone] Columbo. Harold. [laughs] No, I'm on Earth. What? No! Killing Natives? No, that's more of your thing. [laughing] Alright. Bye-bye, big guy.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Pony:
Baby Cakes, I didn't even know that you were a ghost detective. That's awesome. What do you do?

Baby Cakes:
Well, I got cameras, motion detectors, and a ghost-trapping laser. I even got an E.R. station, if you ever want to die for a few minutes and go look for ghosts in the Netherworld.

Steve:
That's not necessary.

Baby Cakes:
Okay. Are there any spirits here?

Frank:
Wait. Are you talking to...Heaven?

Baby Cakes:
You know, I bet Heaven's a ghost town.

Pony:
Duh. That's the point, right?

Baby Cakes:
No. I mean, like, no one's good enough to be there. Just Jesus playing fetch with Old Yeller.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Steve:
Frank, where have you been? [sees Frank's armor out of tin-foiled paper] I see.

Frank:
Listen, last night, I was attacked by a moist spirit. Have you guys see any activity?

Pony:
Oh, I see activity, alright. No activity here. Just in there! [touches Frank's head]

Frank:
Get off of me, Pony! I'm fragile now!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Steve:
You guys heard The Dean. We need money and students. Look at this registry. Come on. I need ideas.

Pony:
Okay, um, we could give the Adult Scout Cookies another chance.

Steve:
I got to get out of here. I got to go kick a few trees, and figure this out on my own.

Pony:
Steve, come on. I'll put on my B.S. hat.

Baby Cakes:
What's up cookies? Someday I'm gonna buy all of you.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Dean:
What can I say on a day like today? Well, history attendance is low. You got to adapt. Hell, Crystal switched to Spanish! Now it's a hit course.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[the teachers and students do a ceremony for Harold's death]

Frank:
Harold was the kind of friend you see during the day, never at night or for fun. A boring little mentor, really.

Baby Cakes:
[to Pony] Hey, tell Dad give me some sad potion.

Professor Cakes:
Son, I have no idea what that is.

Baby Cakes:
I know you got some.

Professor Cakes:
[sighs] Here you go.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[after Steve wins from the court where his son gets a death sentence]

Steve:
My baby's life flashed before my eyes, and I'm next. Why go on?

Baby Cakes:
I need to crash here for a few days. Dad's got a new lady, and then doing it all over the house.

Steve:
[acts like a Dad] Well, you're just a big ol' baby who need a good daddy, aren't you?

Baby Cakes:
[confused] What the f*** are you doing, Steve?

Steve:
Yes, you are. Yes, you are.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Dean:
Court is now in session! Prosecution, what say you guys?

Steve:
Dean, we request the death sentence.

Dean:
Defense.

Professor Cakes:
Uh, our lead lawyer just pulled up.

[Frank showed up while still having all his bling]

Frank:
Apologies to the court. I was praying with our giant loved one out there. Such a strong soul.

Steve:
Objection, your honor. Come on!

Frank:
Yeah, objection overruled, because Steve is a callous son of a bitch!

Dean:
That's a real objection, Frank!

Frank:
I'll sustain it. I'll sustain it. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, do we throw away our elderly? No! Not when they have so much to give!

Steve:
Your honor, I don't know how, but Frank is profiting from my son.

Frank:
This is not about me, but about a Dad who is done with his son now that he is an old giant.

Steve:
Right. My son is old, and now it is legal to punish him for his murders. His execution will help us all heal as a society.

Dean:
[cries] Steve wins! The giant will be executed in the usual manor. Acid shall be poured into his ears, then he will be rolled into the ocean!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Dean:
What the f*** is going on here, Prof. Cakes?

Professor Cakes:
Well, he's about 90, and his brain had no time to develop, so he's at a catatonic level of retardation.

Dr. Falgot:
Cancer, diabetes, in-grown hairs. This thing is in pain. But he's so huge, he's impossible to medicate, let alone feed. And then there's this.

[shows the next scene where Steve is caring the old man as a son while dressed in a Mary Poppins suit]

Steve:
[to his son] A spoonful of nothin' helps the nothin' go down.

Pony:
Dean, I know mercy killing is illegal, but in this situation, it seems reasonable, right?

Baby Cakes:
Hey, who's to say if he's happy or not?

Dean:
Got to wait him out, gracefully, while he starves.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Professor Cakes:
Steve, we need your permission to administer what we feel certain is a shrink serum.

Steve:
As long as you're sure he'll be alright then sh*t, yeah. I want a normal baby.

[as Professor Cakes and Dr. Falgot plunged the serum into the baby, the baby start to aged into an old man destroying more damage to the university]

Baby Cakes:
Aw, man. They grow up so fast.

Professor Cakes:
[to Dr. Falgot] Uh, we must have switched size with age in the equation.

Steve:
[just can't believe it] I'm the Dad to a giant adult?

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Baby Cakes:
Hey, Steve! You got an "A" on the paternity test! You're the Dad!

Professor Cakes:
Yeah. Hope you have insurance, Steve.

Steve:
[faints]

Baby Cakes:
Better get the wake-up juice, Dad.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Blood Bank Employee:
I'm sorry, sir, but upon closer examination, your blood is baby's blood. We have a strict no-baby-blood policy, so --

Frank:
I was expecting to get some serious money from this. How much have I gotten from you already?

Blood Bank Employee:
About $300. So, sir, unless you have an adult source, we can do no further business.

Frank:
[cries]

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Steve:
Crystal, why'd you bring everyone?

Pony:
Because everyone wants this nightmare over.

Crystal:
Steven, we have a plan. Show him.

[Dr Falgot shows Steve a big pill]

Dr. Falgot:
Give it this pill and its night-night for baby.

Sammy:
Steve, if you're feeling too wussy, I could muster the gumption to slit that baby's throat.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

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In which movie does this quote appear: "Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane." ?
A Die Hard
B Blues Brothers
C Mission: Impossible
D Shawshank Redemption