Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #107

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 5,747 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Assy McGee:
What do you know about this diaper-bag case?

Sanchez:
I don't nothing about it. Why? What's going on?

Assy McGee:
We're gonna find out. Bring your car around.

Sanchez:
Uh, okay. But can it wait, bro? We were just about to watch "Mrs. Doubtfire" on our new 50 foot inflatable outdoor movie screen. Have you seen it? It's hilarious. Robin Williams dresses up like a lady.

Assy McGee:
I didn't know you were into the ponies, Sanchez.

Sanchez:
Oh, I'm not gonna race 'em. I'm gonna put 'em up for stud. There's big money in that, and the kids love money.

[Assy shoots one of the horses]

Sanchez:
Damn it, Assy! What'd you do that for?

Assy McGee:
I know how much your kids like glue.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

McDermott:
Taking off, McGee? Why don't you stick around? 10 minutes in the champagne room -- My treat.

Assy McGee:
I don't drink champagne. And I don't like rooms.

McDermott:
So, uh, how's that, deh, diaper-bag thing coming along? You, uh, still working that? You know [clears throat] Chief was saying the other day that maybe Pepperelli and I should take that case, you know?

Assy McGee:
It's my collar.

McDermott:
You are technically still on suspension.

Assy McGee:
[pulls up his gun to McDermott] GET OUT OF MY FACE, McDERMOTT!

McDermott:
You're making a big mistake, McGee.

Assy McGee:
So did you dad's penis when it let itself be inserted into your mother's vagina.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Assy McGee:
What's this?

Mirabelle:
[spanish]

Assy McGee:
No, I'm here to see Timmy.

Mirabelle:
[talking spanish by giving Assy some money]

Assy McGee:
Okay. Tell Timmy I stopped by about the diaper bag. Here's my card. Best way to get me is the MySpace.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Assy McGee:
Chief, I'm going out. I got a call about a stolen diaper bag.

Chief:
The hell you are. You're on suspension, McGee. You're chained to your desk.

Assy McGee:
You can chain me. You can torture me. You can even destroy this body. But you'll never imprison my mind. Gandhi.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Assy McGee:
[on phone] McGee.

Timmy the Kid:
I want my diaper bag back.

Assy McGee:
You want...huh?

Timmy the Kid:
They took my diaper bag.

Assy McGee:
Who is this? Sanchez?

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[after Assy was about to incinerate his new lover for arsoning apartments]

Chief:
Turns out the tape is inconclusive. The girl probably had nothing to with it, and our arsonist is still out there.

Sanchez:
So what do we do?

Chief:
Let here go! She's innocent!

[Trans Woman suddenly gets exploded from the gas in the interrogation room]

Chief:
I mean, she was guilty as hell. As far as I'm concerned, this case is over.

Chief:
Sanchez, I need you to run to the pharmacy and pick up my prescription. It's a cream. Hurry! They're about to close!

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Chief:
We miraculously recovered some surveillance footage from the aquarium today.

Assy McGee:
Learn anything?

Chief:
We learned everything. But you're not gonna like it.

[Chief shows the footage on screen where it shows Assy's new lover]

Chief:
Now, Assy, hold up. Before you go and do anything stupid...

[Assy kicks the chair and leaves]

Chief:
Assy. Assy, get back here! You're too close to this! YOU'RE TOO CLOOOOOSE!

DiLorenzo:
Hey, Chief, I'm having trouble logging on my e-mail. Server down?

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Chief:
[on phone] Yeah? Well, she's your second cousin. Yeah, I'd slam the brakes at ball plate.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[Assy sees fire in the Aquarium]

Assy McGee:
[to Trans Woman] Ever see a man put out a fire in an aquarium before? In case of emergency, BREAK GLASS!

[Assy breaks the glass in the Aquarium where all the sea animals used to be at]

Assy McGee:
Close your eyes for me, honey. I can't let these poor fish breathe to death.

[Assy shoots the dolphins]

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Trans Woman:
That one with the sharp teeth is a peruvian yellowfish. I'd sure like to nibble on you, big boy, huh? Rar, rar, rar, rar, rar.

Assy McGee:
[sniffs] You shower today?

Trans Woman:
Actually, I was running late, so --

Assy McGee:
Oh, no. I love female body odor. I wish more women were unhygienic.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Sanchez:
Hey, there. Assy McGee sent me.

Undercover Person:
Walks on four, then two, then three.

Sanchez:
Are you...what?

Undercover Person:
Walks on four, then two, then three.

Sanchez:
I don't know. Is this a riddle, or...

Undercover Person:
The answer is "Man". The wildest animal of them all.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[Assy meet his new lover but different than usual]

Assy McGee:
Well, hello, ice cream. 99 butter...?

Trans Woman:
[deep voice] Ass detective 64?

Assy McGee:
[laughs]

Trans Woman:
Mmm. Oh, my god. You're like so much taller than your photo.

Assy McGee:
And you're more repulsive.

Trans Woman:
Look at you -- Handsome Dan the Cookie Man. I just want to slap you and rub you. Am I going to fast?

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Aquarium Employee:
Hello, there. And welcome to the Exeter marine life aquarium, where we have a variety of payment options.

Assy McGee:
I'm a cop, I don't pay.

Aquarium Employee:
Unfortunately, our not-for-profit Exeter marine life aquarium enforce a firm "No excuses" policy [chuckles] when it comes to admission.

Assy McGee:
I don't think you understand.

Aquarium Employee:
I don't think YOU understand that you can have a super-swell time by purchasing either our gold, silver, or bronze package.

Assy McGee:
[pulls up his gun] How about a red package?

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Sanchez:
What's with the suspenders?

Assy McGee:
Marcel. So she'll recognize me.

Sanchez:
Good idea. In all sincerity, I'm real happy for you, Ass, you know? I was honestly doubting if you'd ever get back on the horse again after Theresa.

[points the gun at Sanchez, while Sanchez is driving]

Assy McGee:
DON'T GO THERE, DON! EVER!

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Chief:
What are we looking at here?

Lemanski:
See that there? Manipulation of two impregnated paper insulated conductors.

Chief:
Do I look like I speak Japanese, Lemanski? Crap me out some [bleep] english!

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Chief:
Four weeks and four fires. I can already feel the Mayor tearing me a second exit.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[Assy gives Sanchez's upper lip to the medical helpers]

Assy McGee:
That's a man's upper lip that you're holding on to! It looks like just a mustache, but it's his whole lip! I kept it iced! If you can keep the flesh alive, YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO ATTACH IT AGAIN! And that will save the hair follicles from dying off.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Sanchez:
[weakly] Assy! Thank god you came.

Assy McGee:
Shut up. I thought you were dead.

Sanchez:
[weakly] You got to help me. I'm sick, Assy. I'm real sick.

Assy McGee:
What's wrong with your lips?

Sanchez:
[weakly] I got an infection. I got an infection real bad.

Assy McGee:
Whoa, your mustache just flew away.

Sanchez:
[weakly] It hurts so bad. They're animals.

Assy McGee:
Who did this to you, Sanchez.

Sanchez:
[weakly] It's the Miami Syndicate. They're all up in this place.

Assy McGee:
Florida pussies.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Assy McGee:
[sniffs] I smell a syndicate.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Assy McGee:
Where's the palace, sweetheart?

Store Worker:
It's in the Little Jamaica neighborhood of Exeter.

Assy McGee:
Oh. I love Little Italy.

Store Worker:
No, this is Little Jamaica.

Assy McGee:
Oh, why don't you just call it Jamaica?

Store Worker:
'Cause it's not Jamaica. It's a neighborhood here in Exeter.

Assy McGee:
Why don't you just call it Exeter?

Store Worker:
It's a neighborhood Exeter.

Assy McGee:
Yeah, right. Why not?

Store Worker:
Why not what?

Assy McGee:
Why not tell me the difference between Jamaica and Little Jamaica?

Store Worker:
Well for one thing, Jamaica's nicer. Ever since we've been overrun by those thugs from the Miami Syndicate --

Assy McGee:
THE MIAMI SYNDICATE?!

Store Worker:
They've been creeping into this neighborhood for the past few months. It's changed everything. Never thought it could get worse, but --

Assy McGee:
Thanks for the tip, sister. A little something for your trouble.

[Assy breaks half of his churro and send it into the tip cup]

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[Assy tries to find internet connection to find the Miami Syndicate]

Assy McGee:
I NEED A WI-FI SPOT AND A TALL AMERICANO! And a churro.

Store Worker:
$4.79, please.

[Assy gives a 4 dollar buck to the Store Worker]

Store Worker:
Every nickel counts.

Assy McGee:
Dimes count more. That's why I keep them.

Store Worker:
Yay. Another 4,000 customers like you and I can move my nine kids out of section 8.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[Assy gets a call from the Chief while playing ball sport game]

Assy McGee:
[panting] McGee.

Chief:
McGee?

Assy McGee:
[panting] McGee.

Chief:
Yeah. What?

Assy McGee:
[panting] McGee.

Chief:
Glad you made it home safe. Listen, I haven't heard a peep from Sanchez or the kidnappers. Looks like the Miami Syndicate got wind of us sniffing around on their home turf, so they abducted Sanchez. Best guess -- He's dead.

Assy McGee:
Which means I have two unused tickets to the "Miami Vice" sightseeing tour, and I need to get on eBay yesterday.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

El Coyote:
Why don't you shut your fat face?

Sanchez:
I beg your pardons?

El Coyote:
You and your tough little friend don't belong here in Miami Beach. So why don't you just pack up your inexpensive carry-on luggage and take your family funfare airline back to your depressing New England hamlet?

Sanchez:
Excuse me, Mr. Coyote, but the last time I checked, THIS IS A FREE COUNTRY. And New England is not depressing. We have all the seasons and a beautiful, rugged coastline.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[Assy swims in the pool looking at ladies' bodies]

Assy McGee:
Someone order a bikini inspector?

[Assy then farts blood in the pool]

Assy McGee:
Whoops. I thought that was just an urban legend.

Assy McGee  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

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In which movie does this quote appear: "Long live the King" ?
A The Lion King
B Arthur the King
C Four Kings
D The King and Four Queens