Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #105

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 5,747 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Aquarium Boss:
Can't believe the Mighty Dean is my employee. [laughs] So cool. Feels so good. [sees Baby Cakes] Here's my other dumb worker. Baby Cakes, tell The Dean here what to do.

Baby Cakes:
What's up, Dean? I thought you worked on a cloud or something.

Dean:
[sad] The Mayor took my top spot on the cool pyramid. I'm bitch to the world.

Baby Cakes:
Aw, man. Get that out of your head. Now just go on in there and feed those 'mingos.

[as The Dean starts to feed the flamingos, the flamingos fighted and humped Dean]

Dean:
Ouch! My nipple! Oh, god! [crying]

Aquarium Boss:
[to the civilians] It's okay. It's a dominance thing. Dean, you're fired!

Baby Cakes:
[to Dean] Oh, dude, you got gang-perched.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[Frank shows up to Steve and Pony as a officer working for the Mayor]

Frank:
Well, well, well. Looks like I'm finally the older brother.

Steve:
You really have no sense of allegiance.

Frank:
[chuckles] I'm allegiant to power. I can't help it. Now all I got to do is enforce The Mayor's law and everyone respects me.

Pony:
Frank, you are such an attention whore!

Frank:
The same can be said for Jesus, and look where it got him -- Queen of Heaven. Time for a contraband check.

[Steve spits on Frank's boots]

Frank:
You know there's a law against spitting --

[Steve spits on Frank's face and then tackles him]

Frank:
CAMERAS, HELP ME!

[Steve then gets hold back from the other officers]

Frank:
Now...say I can eat all I want from a buffet! Say I'm cool! Say it!

Steve:
Frank is cool...for now.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Steve:
Didn't you send my application out to other schools? I told you to do it -- A lot.

Pony:
Dude, I forgot. And, by the way, you used to not be such a d*ck. Why don't you go take a nap?

Steve:
[groans] I usually have Frank to bitch at, and you're usually good at your job.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[when Dean loses, Mayor starts to make a few changes with this town]

Steve:
No drinking, no internet, no fruit? And why do professors have to live in the dorms?

Pony:
So The Mayor can enforce the masturbation and premarital sex ban? I'll marry you right now, s--

Steve:
Later.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Mayor:
The Mayor's mad! Fifth time The Dean's trashed the town! Town can't have a heathen Dean running school like a whorenaysium. Mayor wants to know what the Dean will do about the sin damage, amen.

Dean:
You got city workers to clean it.

Mayor:
DEAN DON'T BELONG IN OUR GOD-FEARING TOWN!

Dean:
There is -- No -- God! No God, No God, No God, No God! Just us people trying to party before we die.

Mayor:
Really? Well, then the Mayor challenges The Dean to an arm-wrestling match. Mayor wins, he runs school. Dean wins, he gets the town. Amen?

Dean:
My arms are yelling at me to hurt you!

Mayor:
Oh, Mayor's ready. Mayor gonna win no-handed because Mayor's got God on his side.

Dean:
Ha! Are you kidding?

Mayor:
Mayor don't kid.

Dean:
Well, hell...your funeral!

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Dean:
When I was a boy, I was a little man. My bike was a little car, my family was a little faculty, and I ruled them just like I rule all of you. My little teachers.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Dean:
Donny, you're up. You got to lie to yourself here and believe that you are me. I'm inside you. Feel me grow in you until there's nothing left of you. And remember, I will f***ing kill you if you lose.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Pony:
What are we doing at a math competition?

Steve:
If the Dean weren't coaching, I wouldn't even be here. Math is for idiots.

Frank:
Hey, watch this Williams kid work the Y-Axis.

Pony:
Why do you do everything that The Dean asks?

Frank:
Because he's our boss!

Steve:
No, sees, The Dean is, uh, cool.

Baby Cakes:
So cool, he could kill or love anyone. And we got to have a perfect in our pack of regulars, or we'd all be lost.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[Ronald Reagan gets caught]

Ronald Reagan:
Okay, mommy, I'll eat all my pudding. Where's Punky Brewster?

Steve:
Oh, he's faking Alzheimer's.

[then Steve and Ronald Reagan fight themselves to the death]

Old Jackie Lather:
What a surprise! A walk-on from the almost certainly dead Ronald Reagan. Hey, God! Where's your consistency? And it looks like our three remaining contestants are strangely all seriously wounded.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Future Steve:
Listen, I'm the future you. I'm cooler.

Steve:
Screw you, hippie.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[Steve and Ronald Reagan go back in time to change the history of what could've happen in the world cultures]

Steve:
No! All our good deed turned Present Day into the apocalypse.

Ronald Reagan:
We should never try to make the past into something we want.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Steve:
You could have used your presidential power for good, but no! So now I'm gonna put every tooth rush you ever had on my nuts.

Ronald Reagan:
F*** you. You don't have nuts. Anyone can a be a critic.

Steve:
Anyone can be a president as long as you suck! So listen up -- People with power are like lions.

[then Steve and Ronald Reagan start to have a long-time conversation on why the difference between lions and zebras representing the peoples' power while everyone is still frozen in time]

[5 years later]

Steve:
All right, sure, I'm...I'm talking about deregulation here, though, the trickle-down bullsh*t. I mean, there's no way that you thought that was good for anybody.

Ronald Reagan:
A president must sacrifice most of the masses for some of the masses. Don't be so naive, son.

[50 years later]

Steve:
Pictures of women do nothing for me now. It's weird. I'm beyond the stroke.

Ronald Reagan:
I used to call thatcher for no reason, just to hear her sexy voice.

Steve:
Mm.

[100 years later]

Ronald Reagan:
All this time to talk with you has enlightened me.

Steve:
No, I'm enlightened. You thinking what I'm thinking?

Steve & Ronald Reagan:
Time Power!

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[Ronald Reagan suddenly froze time when Steve starts to do his impression of him]

Ronald Reagan:
Oh, boy. Little Steve got himself frozen. Well, when a kid is bad, that kid must get a lesson. Today's lesson is Cause and Effect. I get a time machine, I get to be a time lord. A lion eats a zebra. The lion will eventually uneat that zebra. Cause and Effect, bucko. Cause [ready to take a dump in Steve's mouth] and Effect.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Special Agent Green:
The only potential hiccup is that the time-antidote device has never been used. It may or may not work.

Steve:
What about the mouth crap? Wait!

[Agent Green already shoves Steve to do his act for the mission]

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Pony:
Ladies and gentlemen, Jackie Lather!

Old Jackie Lather:
The world is a dick. F*** you, for aging us and teasing humans with love. Okay, don't care about the first contestant. But here he is, Frankenbreaker.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[Frank returns to his old act by doing breakdancing at a Kid Show Parade]

Frank:
Yeah, been upgrading my act, listening to a lot of the fresher sh*t coming out of New Orleans. [chuckles] You spin plates on sticks, right? "Gong show".

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Announcer:
Live with no prior announcement, the return of Jackie Lather's "Kid Talent Parade"! Tune in to see a great Ronald Reagan send up! If I were Reagan, I'd be so mad, I'd just have to do something!

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[while the crew are still talking about Reagan's revenge on Steve]

Frank:
[to the agents] Pigs, take a back seat on this one. I'm his brother. I know how to talk to him.

[cuts to the next scene in the Teacher's Lounge]

Frank:
[begs] YOU GOT TO F***ING DO THIS FOR ME!. I'll do my act. I'll win. I'll have a shot at self-esteem. Pleeeeeease!

Baby Cakes:
Steve, the clock is moving, man.

Steve:
My life has been putty in his hands. I won't take his putty in my mouth.

Pony:
Steve, he could be crapping in all our mouths right now and we wouldn't know it. This is lions and zebras. We need Rebel Zebra. We need the zeeb.

Steve:
You're damn right, Pony. I'll be the zeeb.

Frank:
Sure, we'll all be stuff.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Pony:
So, what's the plan?

Special Agent Green:
Please, point your lips at Agent Lee.

Pony:
[points to her mouth] How are you going to catch Reagan?

[Agent Lee got nothing]

Special Agent Green:
[speaks sign language in Agent Lee's words] "Let's hear your best guess, first."

Pony:
Well, I think you'd use Steve as bait, re-create that kids' show right here, now. Steve does his act again. Reagan sees it.

Frank:
And Reagan will make good on his threat. The act was what got him to hate Steve in the first place.

Special Agent Green:
[speaks sign language in Agent Lee's words] "If we make the same insult live on TV, Reagan will be so mad he'll appear for revenge. It's the only way to put him in one predictable place in space time. [to Pony] You guess our plan exactly".

Steve:
[after vomiting] I'm not risking dump in my mouth.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Dean:
So, a senile, dead ex-president screwing with time seems pretty bad.

Special Agent Green:
He could be freezing and changing whatever he wants. That is Jesus' great power.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Pony:
So, Reagan invented a time machine just so he could sh*t in Steve's mouth?

Steve:
I, uh, I...I need air. I need air. [leaves]

Frank:
Let me do it to the end. It really seals the deal.

[Frank dances]

Baby Cakes:
Damn, you kick like a wicked chicken.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

[one of the special agent shows pictures of where Ronald Reagan mess up Steve's memories]

Special Agent Green:
You can see that in each shot, no one seems to be aware of Reagan.

Steve:
But I don't remember Reagan being there.

Special Agent Green:
There's also this note.

[Steve reads Ronald Reagan's note the special agents found from]

Ronald Reagan:
Dear feds, I have the time machine. These pictures should confirm my power to freeze time and change anything. Anyway, not sure what to do now. Might go kill important people or meet cool dead people. P.S. -- Tell Steve that if he mocks me again, I will freeze time and I will sh*t in his mouth. Signed, Dutch."

Baby Cakes:
Hey, read it out loud.

Steve:
Shut your ass, Baby Cakes.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Pony:
So, what's Steve got to do with Reagan now?

Special Agent Green:
In the '80s, Reagan had the FBI make a time machine. He said it was to stop homosexuality from being invented in the '60s. We now know he just said that to get us to build it so he could get back at Steve because of the show.

Special Agent Green:
[does sign language from Special Agent Lee's words] "Hey, WikiLeaks, why don't you tell them every f***ing secret we have, huh"? I know, I'm sorry. Sorry, sir.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

Young Steve:
You guys like presidents?

Audience:
[cheering]

Young Steve:
Here's Ronald Reagan. [imitating Ronald Reagan] Well, heh, I like to kiss butts, and I love to smell farts. And I'm gonna blow us all up, shut up, Nancy. I can do whatever I want.

Jackie Lather:
Forget the last contestant, Steve wins! [referring to Frank]

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 3 months ago

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