Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #108

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 6,261 quotes total — keep up the great work!

[the next day, when Sammy becomes the Person of the Day on TV]

Professor Cakes:
I don't get it. Wasn't this supposed to be about you today?

Frank Smith:
Yes! That asshole promised me, and I...did things.

Baby Cakes:
Should have been a superhero, dude.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[Frank rubs Golden Bowl's back full of zits and acne to be the Person of The Day]

Frank Smith:
[disgust] You know, you're not really that tense. You've already released all over the place.

Golden Bowl:
Lick it.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[Baby Cakes sees a sexy commercial]

Baby Cakes:
Everytime I see this commercial, I get so...edgy-feeling.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Golden Bowl:
[spits] Trevor, this coffee is "B" to the ever-loving "S". Know what? Your internship is over.

Trevor:
[crying]

Golden Bowl:
You weren't that good a lay anyway.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Baby Cakes:
Psst. Hey, Matt. How do you f*** yourself?

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Pony:
Man, I almost got the roast beef. I got this stupid chicken sandwich instead.

Steve Smith:
Well, let's trade halves.

Frank Smith:
Ah, why don't you two just finally get a room and screw in it? You're in love, and everyone knows it.

Pony:
Me and Steve? [scoffs] Come on. We're just friends.

Frank Smith:
Denying it just makes it more obvious.

Steve Smith:
Just like denying you'll never be a person of anyone's say is obviously sad.

Frank Smith:
[to all the students and teachers] Everybody, hey! Listen up! Every-- Everybody! Okay, show of hands! Who believes that I'll be a person of the day?

All:
[laughter]

Frank Smith:
AAAH! BULLSH*T! Okay. I bet everyone here a plate of cheese sticks that I'll be a person of the day within a week.

All:
[cheers and applause]

Flip Flop:
I'm a hold him on it. I'm a eat all them cheese sticks.

Baby Cakes:
[to Steve and Pony] Hey, so really how do you f*** yourself?

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Steve Smith:
Jetta, you know, I got tomorrow off. Want to grab a bite...or bite and grab, you know, or just grab?

Jetta:
Ugh! Steve, don't be so gross in front of Pony.

Steve Smith:
[chuckles] She know the lay of the land. It's me. I'm the best lay in all the --

Pony:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Frank Smith:
Well, guess I'm gonna have to be the person of the day for these chumps.

Pony:
Frank, nobody wants to be on that show, and, besides, no one's interested in you.

Frank Smith:
Pony, okay, look -- I'm like -- Yeah, I'm one of the top three most interesting people in this town.

Steve Smith:
[laughs] Who are those other two people?

Frank Smith:
You know, other heavy-hitting, big-dick hot guys like me. [sniffs] Yeah, I'll be the person of the day. I just got to get their attention.

Baby Cakes:
Hey, superheroes get attention. You should be that.

Frank Smith:
I don't even know what a superhero is, Baby Cakes, so go f*** yourself.

Baby Cakes:
Wait. How does someone f*** themselves?

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Golden Bowl:
Dr. Jack Falgot is a physician, has a wife and kids. That is amazing. How do you make it all work?

Dr. Falgot:
The hell is this, man?

Golden Bowl:
[sarcastically tired] Huh. That is great. That's just -- Just great. What a worthwhile segment. People are just so, so, so great here.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Golden Bowl:
[on TV] This town is a piece of sh*t. There is not one good person. I was once an okay guy. Then I moved here. Now I am capable of terrible things. What's the point in even trying to be good? People here just sick what they want from you and move on with their selfish lives. I mean, there is a literal sucking...

Mayor:
[on phone] You watching this?!

Dean:
[on phone] Yeah! He's saying bad stuff about my school!

Golden Bowl:
[on TV] China, Illinois, has stolen my soul.

Mayor:
HE'S DISPARAGIN' MAYOR'S TOWN!

Dean:
You got people in place at Channel 8?

Mayor:
What you think Mayor is -- A non-mayor? Mayor gonna make him make the people in China look good! Watch tomorrow!

[at the next day, Golden Bowl got a black eye]

Golden Bowl:
China, Illinois, is full of good and positive people...

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[after Kenny Winker's new song]

Kenny Winker:
Moby, they hate me! What happened?!

Baby Cakes:
Man, I told you people hated your music.

Kenny Winker:
NO! YOU SAID GIRLS! You ruined my fan base! Oh, Kenny, you do this in every town! You mistake a straight-up moron for a rain man every time! Rain man'd again! Oh, I bet you eat acorns! F*** me!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Baby Cakes:
Once in a great while, a man lands on earth after having been formed in the vagina of the clouds.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[as Pony was about to kill the roach, Dean stop her]

Pony:
Dean, I was gonna kill that guy!

Dean:
[happily] I bet you were gonna do a lot of things.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[Steve and Frank sees the sorority girls' house getting smoked up with bug spray from Pony]

Steve Smith:
What the hell are you doing, Pony?

Frank Smith:
You find this surprising? She was f***ing a roach!

Pony:
Bitch got to smoke a cheater out.

Steve Smith:
Frank, this our chance. We got to run in there and find the keys.

Frank Smith:
That's poison, dude. I'd rather be dickless than dead.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Steve Smith:
Maybe we just tell the Dean that the sorority has the keys.

Frank Smith:
We've already lied to him. He'd pull our dicks off just for that.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Baby Cakes:
Listen up. I got this broke-ass iPad.

Kenny Winker:
TECH SUPPORT!

Tech Supporter Guy:
[sniffs the iPad] Is that a...is that gasoline?

Baby Cakes:
Yeah, I been pouring gas into that little gas tank ever since I got it.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Kenny Winker:
Everyone listen up! Whatever Moby Dick (Baby Cakes) here says goes. Now, Moby, this here is Richard, my manager of 20 years. He's a good man.

Baby Cakes:
No, he looks like a muffin cup.

Kenny Winker:
Richard, you're out!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[Pony came into the Professor Brothers' lounge with her bedbug]

Pony:
Hey, what's up, guys? So, um, yeah. We were bored, so we were like, "Let's go have a beer with my friends".

Steve Smith:
What in the absolute f*** is that?

Pony:
This is my new boyfriend. I told you that like a hundred, you jerks.

Steve Smith:
Are those bites all over you?

Pony:
He loves me, Steve, and it may hurt, but it also feels really good.

Steve Smith:
I-I know how women stuff works, okay? Look, I don't give 1/5 of a half-eaten sh*t about your monsterphilia.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Kenny Winker:
So, how do we work this into my songs?

Baby Cakes:
Alright, listen -- Ladies hate music that makes 'em run. They like the music that makes 'em hobble. It all comes down to what they can do in those weird-ass little shoes of theirs.

Kenny Winker:
Hell, women don't even like shoes!

Baby Cakes:
Listen, the song tell the world how you screw. Your music says that you screw like you're running from a lion. You should be making everyone think you screw like a sensitive, undulating goblin.

Kenny Winker:
That is the sh*t! THAT IS THE SH*T, RIGHT THERE, BOY!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Kenny Winker:
Son of a biiiiitch! I had no idea women like walking this much! Look at all these women out here, just loving the sh*t out of some titties.

Baby Cakes:
Never sing to ladies until you've walked a mile in their boobs, kid.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Dean:
It dawned on me that you guys never returned my keys. I need 'em.

Steve Smith:
Uh, you know what? We, uh -- We're having those keys...polished.

Dean:
That kind of sounds like a lie.

Frank Smith:
Oh, come on. We're not lying assholes. No. No, we're front holes. We're -- We're the good holes.

Dean:
Have the keys in time for Kenny's concert, or, like I said before, I'll make your worst nightmare come true, which is what? Mm...I'll kill Pony.

Steve Smith:
What?!

Frank Smith:
That's a relief. I thought you were gonna pull our dicks off.

Dean:
Oh, right! I'll pull your dicks off, too! You'll have a dead friend and no dicks to wipe your tears with!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[Steve figures out a way to get The Dean's keys back]

Steve Smith:
Alright, maybe we just get jobs in Canada.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Kenny Winker:
Ugh! I see it now! Women hate my music! Boy, you were right!

Baby Cakes:
Right as rain, man.

Kenny Winker:
Boy, you tell it like it IS! It's like I'm Ahab who finally got himself a fatass Moby Dick.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Kenny Winker:
For the hundredth time, everyone loves my music -- PERIOD!

Baby Cakes:
I bet ladies hate it as much as me. I know 'em.

Kenny Winker:
Now, come on, man! Women love my ass! They're always on my tour bus, touching me.

Baby Cakes:
Because you're rich, motherf***er.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

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