[Satan does the podcast as Stan in disguise]
Satan (as Stan):
Hello! I know, uh, I -- I have said on this -- This show that, uh, uh, Obama is gay-married to me, but -- Uh, Satan -- But, uh, that's not true. You hear that, Johnny Harville? Neither Obummer not Shillary are involved with Satan in any way, shape, or form.
[Johnny immediately grabs the phone to call Satan (Stan) about the presidents opinion]
Satan (as Stan):
Now, I've heard through the grapevine, Johnny Harville, that you believe that Obummer and Shillary, they are sexually involved with me...
Gary Bunda:
Johnny on line one.
Satan (as Stan):
Hey, Johnny.
Johnny:
I got to take an issue with what you just said, man.
Satan (as Stan):
No, Johnny -- Johnny listen to me. Satan is strong. He's no one's bottom bitch.
Johnny:
That's not what you said in your book, "Satan is Hillary's Bottom Bitch". You said that Hillary impregnated Satan and gave birth to Liam Dunham, man.
Satan (as Stan):
No, that's -- That's Lena Dunham. Lena Dunham is a -- A well-respected, talented actor and director.
Johnny:
Well, what you said is very boring, Stan. I guess I'm gonna have to get my straight talk somewheres else.
Satan (as Stan):
No, Johnny, Johnny, hold --
Gary Bunda:
We are losing him!
Satan (as Stan):
Uh, hold on. Uh, Lena Dunham is...
Gary Bunda:
[to Satan] Is a werewolf.
Satan (as Stan):
...is a werewolf.
Johnny:
I'm listening.
Satan (as Stan):
Okay. Good. Because she has three assistants whose sole job it is to follow her around and -- And to shave her and shield her from the moon. [laughs softly] Um...Susan Sarandon is a werewolf, too. That's why she adopted that illegal -- To shave her. And -- And Sarah Silverman! All of them! They're all a bunch of feminazi, lesbian werewolves coming for us!
Johnny:
I'll be sure to boycott their movies, then.
Satan (as Stan):
Yes, Johnny! Stay with us! We are standing up for America! We are back after this with more calls! WAAAHOOO! [ends the podcast]
Claude:
[to Satan] How does any of what you just said further the initial plan?
Satan:
...
Claude:
Well, we got another hours of calls.
Satan:
Yeah, we're gonna take calls.
