Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #164

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104 — There are currently 5,773 quotes total — keep up the great work!

[Claude tries to flirt with a ring monster] Claude: Hi, I'm Claude, Satan's number two. Got you a welcome gift. "Leaves of Grass." It's a collection of poems by Walt Whitman. Walt's actually down here, 'cause he's gay. If you ever want to meet him, I have an in. His poems are so, uh, sensual, don't you think? Claude: I also got you a bookmark. [gives her a condom] Safety first. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 7 months ago
[after watching Benji's orientation video about sexual harassment] Satan: Any, uh, any questions? Gary Bunda: Why are we watching this video? There's no women around here. Satan: Times are changing, Gary. Women are just as capable as men in the workplace. So I'm bringing in some stupid bimbos to work with you guys. All: [cheering] Satan: Any other questions? Yeah, William? William: My teeth are falling out. Satan: That's more of a statement, William. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 7 months ago
[Benji does an orientation video about sexual harassment in Hell] Benji: Hi, I'm Benji. And those of you who know me know I'm crazy about young boys. But that doesn't impact my ability to sexually harass women in the workplace. Benji: Hey, Becky. That's a dynamite pantsuit. Becky: Well, thank you. [laughs] Benji: Practice with me. Say "Do you need a man's help, sugar boobs?" All: Do you need a man's help, sugar boobs? Benji: Why don't you let me help you unfasten that bra, so you can better see the pornographic picture I just sent you? Becky: I would like equal pay for equal work. Benji: [laughs] Geez, is it that time of the month already? Now fetch me some coffee, Becky. I'm done with you sexually. Becky: Okay. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 7 months ago
Satan: So, you got all of our golden fiddles back? Gary Bunda: Yeah. In a way, yeah. Absolutely. Satan: What do you mean "in a way?" [cuts to the next scene where Gary and Satan gets back in Satan's Office where Todd is the headmaster of Hell] Toad: Ah, is he the workman? I want a display case built right here, big enough for all four of my golden fiddles and four souls. [laughs] Satan: [to Gary] Who is this? Toad: I will see your face turn alabaster when you find the servant is the master. "Wrapped Around Your Finger," The Police, 1983 Grammy Award Winning. Satan: Todd, Eater of Worlds. Gary Bunda: His name's Todd Stodski. Satan: Mm-hmm. Toad: Ooh, actually, while you're at it, could you get rid of this, 'cause my name's Todd. Not Satan. [laughs] – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 7 months ago
Trivia Host: All answers are in, and the final answer to the question is -- Gary Bunda: THESSALONICA! Trivia Host: Thessalonica. Toad: I got it. [to the demon employers] Did -- Did you get it? Gary Bunda: Oh, we got it. Verbally. Trivia Host: But it had to be written down, and your teammate clearly wrote..."Belteam". Gary Bunda: Do you want me to go buck wild and rip up this place? – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 7 months ago
[Satan gets a call from Claude] Satan: My man. Gary Bunda: Hey, hey, hey, where did you stop Paul from going to? Satan: This is Gary, isn't it? Using Claude's phone? Gary Bunda: [imitating Claude] It's me, Claude. Shalom. Satan: Yeah. Gary Bunda: [normal voice] Alright, this is Gary, okay? Satan: Okay, I got to go. See you, Gar. Gary Bunda: No, no, no! Satan: I got to go. Gary Bunda: [muffled] Where did you stop Paul from going to? Satan: Is your jaw locking up? Told you those spikes would give you tetanus. Gary Bunda: [muffled] Okay, yeah. Where did you stop Paul from going to? Paul from The Bible. Satan: Paul-ra-bu-bible? I don't know who this is man. What are we doing? Gary Bunda: [muffled] Where did you stop Paul? Paul. Satan: Paul? Gary Bunda: [muffled] Paul. Satan: Paul who? Paul Simon? Gary Bunda: [muffled] No, not Paul Simon. Who are you, Lorne Michaels? Satan: Paul McCartney? Gary Bunda: [muffled] No, who did you stop Paul from going to? Satan: I don't -- I don't know. Paul? You're Paul. Gary Bunda: [muffled] Paul from The Bible. Where did you stop Paul from The Bible from going to? Satan: The apostle Paul. Gary Bunda: [muffled] Yeah! The -- Yes, yes. The apostle Paul. Satan: This is in, uh, Thessalonians, right? Gary Bunda: [muffled] The song is about to end. I need you to give me the answer. Satan: Yes. Thessalonica. Yes, it is a very funny story, actually. [Gary hangs up] Hello? Gary Bunda: [drawing the final answer] Thessalonica. [laughs] Funilingus back on top. Dizzay: I just turned in Bethlehem. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 7 months ago
[Gary tries to call Satan to win back the golden fiddles] Gary Bunda: [acting while seeing Todd suspicious] My ear hurts. I better rub it with my knuckle like this. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 7 months ago
Gary Bunda: I think The Dimples is a great team name. Dizzay: No, no, no, no, man. That names sucks. We need something like a play on the tree of knowledge, like -- Gary Bunda: The Fruity Boys. Claude: No. Gary Bunda: Big Danglin' Fruits. Claude: No! Gary Bunda: The Stinky Banana Buddies. Troy: What are you talking about? Gary Bunda: A bunch of grapes. Tiny "g," big "R." Rapes. Big Rapes. Troy: I already turned our name in. Our team name is Funilingus. Claude: Funilingus? Dizzay: Oh, come on, man. Troy: Yeah, yeah. 'Cause we're here to have fun, but if we happen to... [flicking his tongue in a sexy way] that wouldn't be bade, either. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 7 months ago
Toad: Ah, back for more, huh? And I see you brought reinforcements. Isn't that right, Dimples? [laughs] I'm referencing the question you got wrong last week. Gary Bunda: I know. A golf ball on average has 336 dimples. Toad: [mock crying] But you're a week too late. And by the end of this match, I want two more fiddles, two more souls, and I expect to be crowned supreme ruler of the underworld. Claude: Well, sorry, but we don't have the authority to give you any of that. Troy: It's a deal. You're about to learn what my ass tastes like, Toad. Toad: [fake spits] Gary, Claude, and Dizzay: Ugh. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 7 months ago
[Satan shows Gary and Troy to the Tree of Knowledge] Satan: Gentlemen, behold. Gary Bunda: This is some kind of tree? Satan: It's the Tree of Knowledge you dumb sht. [Satan shakes the Tree of Knowledge which leaves out disgusting rotten fruit] Satan:* Let's go, pick it up. Gobble up this fruit, alright? It's chock full of useless information. Come on. Eat it up. You put it in your mouth, up your ass, I don't care. Either way. Satan: Claude, Dizzay, come here. You got to help these two idiots win a trivia contest. Come on. Dizzay: Oh, man, I got to eat this moldy fruit because of your dumb asses? Satan: Get in there. Get some of this. Come on, it tastes good. Drop it, it's not ripe. Gary Bunda: [burping and gagging] Satan: Keep it in, Gary. Swallow the seeds, too. All of it. Troy: Pete Best was the fifth Beatle. [gags] Satan: There we go. Dizzay: And The Beatles used to be called the Quarrymen. Satan: Is that true? Claude: "The Simpsons" is the longest-running scripted television show, but I already knew that. Satan: Nice. Work it! Work it! Keep going! Gary Bunda: You're not the real Satan. Satan: What? Come here. Come here, you son of a... [Gary runs away] Satan: I WANT MY FIDDLES BACK! Do you understand? – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 7 months ago
[Gary and Troy get caught by Satan in Satan's Soul Closet] Troy: Hi. Satan: The f* you two doing in my soul closet? Troy: It's a really funny story. Gary Bunda: Troy's an alcoholic, and he lost both of our souls and our fiddles in a bar trivia contest, so no, Troy, it's not a funny story. Satan: [looks up on his phone] #GoldenFiddles, #Souls, #SuckItSatan. Is this the guy? Gary Bunda: We're trending? Satan: These golden fiddles are recruitment tools, they're bait. You are not to lose them in a bet. Gary Bunda: You lost to Charlie Daniels. He wears a vest without a shirt. He's got a five-pound Confederate flag belt buckle. And that's his proudest thing, and he has kids. Satan: Come with me. Gary Bunda: [to Troy] We're gonna get raped. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell** Movie Quote	added 7 months ago
Troy: I'm the best that's ever been at bar trivia. [cuts to the next scene where Gary and Troy sneakily goes to Satan's Soul Closet] Gary Bunda: Yeah, you're the best that's ever been, alright. The best that's ever been at passing out drinking Jello shots while I have to sit there listing Kenny Rogers hits. I only know "The Gambler." I wrote it five times. They must think I'm autistic. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 7 months ago
Troy: You! Toad! I got another golden fiddle for your soul, and this time, I brought a trivia expert. [referring to Gary] Gary Bunda: No. Toad: [laughing] Oh. By night's end, I'm gonna be fiddling while Troy burns. That's reference to Nero and Rome, 64 A.D. But if I'm wagering my soul, you should wager yours, too. Troy: Done. Gary Bunda: No! Troy: Both of ours and the golden fiddle in exchange for the fiddle you won for me last week. Toad: I will end you. "Good Will Hunting". Best Screenplay, what year? Troy: '95. Toad: '97. [laughs] This is gonna be a piece of cake. [laughs] Todd: Sarah, I'll take 30 hot wings and a diet soda delivered to my table post haste. You can take your tip out of my bar bucks from last week's winnings when I took him down. Troy: [to Gary] Well, I got a real ringer here. He knows everything about pop culture and Canada and dead celebrities. Gary Bunda: I've been in hell for the last 10 years. The only dead celebrities I know are Jeffrey Dahmer and Adolf Hitler. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 7 months ago
Gary Bunda: Troy, you seen my fiddle? Where's my fiddle? I need -- I'm looking for my fiddle. Where is it? Troy: I don't know. Where did you put your fiddle? [Gary sees his golden fiddle hiding behind Troy's printing machine] Gary Bunda: There's my fiddle. Troy: No, no, that's my fiddle. That's my fiddle! That's my fiddle! Gary Bunda: No, you stay back. It's got roofing tar all over it, alright? You diddled my fiddle! Troy: Shh! Alright, fine, fine! I just need to borrow it for tonight, and then I'll give it back tomorrow! Gary Bunda: WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?! You reek of booze. Did you lose your fiddle? [cuts to the next scene where Gary and Troy are at bar on why Troy lose his fiddle] Gary Bunda: You've been here all Golden Fiddle Week at Burglar's Cove getting slammered? – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 7 months ago
Satan: Where' your fiddle, Gar? Gary Bunda: Oh, I got it right here. Satan: Mm-hmm. [Gary sees his workspace that his fiddle is gone] Gary Bunda: Where's my fiddle? [Satan grips Gary's back] Satan: I want all those fiddles back by the end of the week. Do you understand me? Gary Bunda: Yes. Satan: Otherwise, I'm gonna find them and I'm gonna re-string those veins in your dick, you little sht. I'm not fing around. I need those fiddles back. They're made of solid gold! – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell** Movie Quote	added 7 months ago
Gary Bunda: Ay-yi-yi, carbon. [chuckles] I bet three dudes that I could beat them at nailing shingles to a roof, and I crushed their asses [chuckling] because I'm the best there's ever been. Gary Bunda: They weren't even working very hard. They nailed in a couple shingles and they all, whole team said that their back hurts. Satan: Where's their souls? Gary Bunda: Oh. They left before I could do that. Yeah, and then they moved the ladder and they put in the van and they drove away. I had to shimmy down a drain pipe, and I got stuck in a bush. Satan: So you basically shingled that roof for free. Gary Bunda: And I'm the best at it. Yep, it said on their business card that they were the best. As a matter of fact, they were not the best. So I'm the best there's ever been. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 7 months ago
[Each demon try to challenge people for a golden fiddle for their soul] Gary Bunda: Scoot over, you dirty roofers, 'cause I'm the best that's ever been at roofing. Dizzay: And I'll bet you a fiddle of gold against your soul that I'm better than you at tennis. Troy: I'm the best that's ever been at tequila drinking. Benji: I bet I can make love to your son, and I'm the best that's ever been. Troy: [to Toad] I'll beat your ass at bar trivia! Toad: [to Troy] I would beg to differ. Dizzay: [to Tennis Player] Well, I'm good, but I'm not, like a pro or nothing. Tennis Player: [to Dizzay] You just said you're the best that's ever been. Benji: [to Dad] Bottom line, can I make love to your son? Dizzay: [to Tennis Player] Just one game. Come on, man! Dad: [to Benji] I'm calling the police. Benji: [to Dad] But I'm the best that's ever been! Dad: GET OUT OF HERE! [Gary almost fallen off the roof] Gary Bunda: [screaming] Oh, my god! Oh, my god, am I safe? Am I safe? – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 7 months ago
Gary Bunda: I don't know how to play a damn fiddle. Claude: You don't need to be able to play a fiddle. Just challenge them to something your good at, like William here is a world-class opera singer. William: [sings operatically] Thank yo-o-o-o-o-o-o-u. Gary Bunda: That was good. I can't believe he murdered his family. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell Movie Quote	added 7 months ago
Lil: Those are scary testicles. Saul: STEP BACK, SON! THEY HAVE RABIES! There's only one thing we can do for them. [Saul instantly smashed the scary testicles] – Saul of the Mole Men Movie Quote	added 7 months ago
Saul: Easy there, little guy. You got to be patient. Use stealth and cunning. Lil: Gosh, you're smart. Saul: Well, let's just say I learned a few things at Sleepaway Camp. – Saul of the Mole Men Movie Quote	added 7 months ago
[Saul and Lil went to the Puberty Gulch were they see the testicle monsters] Saul: We'll I'll be. They're cute as the Dickens. – Saul of the Mole Men Movie Quote	added 7 months ago
Reporter: Mr. Bertrum, what do you say to the families of all the crushed diggers? Bertrum: To make an omelet, break some eggs, uh, died as heroes -- You know, you fill in the blanks. – Saul of the Mole Men Movie Quote	added 7 months ago
Lil: [singing] I wish I had a pair of balls, for then I wouldn't be a runt. But my dad won't find the time to take me on the testicle hunt. Saul: [singing] Don't despair, you little guy. Wipe that tear from your eye, I will take you with the other dads to Puberty Gulch to find your nads. Lil: [singing] There we'll join the testicle hunt. Saul: [singing] So you have balls and not a uterus. – Saul of the Mole Men Movie Quote	added 7 months ago
Lil: What's the matter? Saul: Ask me after you go through puberty. Lil: [crying] Saul: Hey, kid, don't take it so hard. I didn't mean anything by it. Lil: That's just it, mister. I was supposed to go through puberty today. I need to be escorted by a guardian, but my dad was too busy to take me to catch my testicles. Saul: [spits water] Catch your testicles? Lil: I'm two months overdue to go on the great testicle hunt. Saul: You have to hunt down your testicles? Lil: Yeah! Down at Puberty Gulch. And if I don't get them soon, I could end up...intersexed. Saul: Well, that puts a whole new wrinkle in the puberty process. – Saul of the Mole Men Movie Quote	added 7 months ago

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