Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #162

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 6,280 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Troy:
Where the hell have you been?

Gary Bunda:
The land of milk and honey. And I tell you what, it is bountiful, my friend.

Jerry:
Hey, is this the agent with the purchasing power?

Troy:
Is that Satan's card? [rips it out of Gary' skin] You smell like a fat beehive. What kind of weird sh*t were you doing last night?

Gary Bunda:
Lots.

Jerry:
There's only 20 cents on here! You can't even buy one refurbished number four for 20 cents.

Gary Bunda:
I bought one boat.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Jerry:
You heard of the Carolina Reaper? Hottest pepper in the world. We've created a sauce that oozes onto this serrated edge --

Troy:
Jerry, forget about the Carolina Reaper. We want the number fours.

Jerry:
Fine. 10,000 number fours. I guess it's something. Let me run your card.

Eddie:
Gary's got the card.

Troy:
Ugh.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

[while Troy, Eddie, and Jerry are still finding the right clamp for Eddie's balls]

Troy:
Let's test drive this little beauty...

Jerry:
A number four. Ah. These are last year refurbished. You don't want this garbage!

[Jerry stick the number four clamp to Eddie's balls]

Eddie:
[in pain] Oh, no, that's a little wah-wah. Doesn't really bother me.

Troy:
I think he's lying. That's the one we want. We'll take 10,000 of those.

Jerry:
10,000 number fours. Guys, I can't give these away. I'm offended.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Sophia:
Let me show you my boats...up in my room.

Gary Bunda:
[concerned] ...Your room?

Sophia:
Oh, relax, Gary. What could go wrong? It's a sales meeting.

[cuts to the next scene where Sophia rubs milk and honey all over Gary's chest body doing a sex-related thing]

Sophia:
[attracts] Do you like the boat?

Gary Bunda:
I love the boat.

Sophia:
[attracts] Captain. Are you my captain?

Gary Bunda:
I'm the captain now.

Sophia:
[attracts] Are you my captain now?

Gary Bunda:
[happily] I'm the captain now.

Sophia:
[attracts] You love these boats?

Gary Bunda:
[happily] I love the boat!

Sophia:
[attracts] Do you want to buy the boat?

Gary Bunda:
I am not allowed to buy a boat.

Sophia:
...

[Gary pulls out Satan's card to change his mind]

Gary Bunda:
I could buy one boat.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Troy:
Look, I don't know where Gary is, so why don't you just show us your clamps.

Jerry:
I got heated clamps. I got electric clamps. This guy's a smart clamp. It shoots a picture of the testicle and posts it on social media. That's one dick pic you don't want.

Troy:
Eddie...drop your pants.

Eddie:
Geez! Without so much as a how do ya do?

[Jerry sticks the smart clamp onto Eddie's balls while Troy takes a picture for it]

[pans to the next scene where Gary and Sophia are at the same diner with the other employees]

Gary Bunda:
I'm supposed to meet those guys over there.

Sophia:
Look, don't waste your time with Jerry.

[Gary got a photo message from Troy on his phone]

Sophia:
Jealous girlfriend?

Gary Bunda:
Oh, Eddie's balls are trending.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Sophia:
Have dinner with me tonight? Hmm? It's no pressure. Right, just dinner, you and me.

Gary Bunda:
So this is like a date?

Sophia:
It's *like* a date. [referring to sex]

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Sophia:
I want to sell my boats to a firebrand, an influencer.

Gary Bunda:
I guess I am an influencer. Every time Satan rapes me, he tells me that I asked for it.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

[Sophia asks Gary to try Milk and Honey]

Sophia:
Here, try this. I promise, there's no pee in it.

Gary Bunda:
Is it gonna fuse my mouth shut?

Sophia:
No.

Gary Bunda:
Are there a bunch of pubes at the bottom of this?

Sophia:
No! Drink it.

[Gary drinks the product]

Gary Bunda:
Oh. Mmm, oh! That's good.

Sophia:
Better than ball clamps, right?

Gary Bunda:
Yeah, it's m-- How did you know that I was looking for ball clamps?

Sophia:
Every schmo in this entire hall wants ball clamps. I mean, what is this, 1973?

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

[Gary sees a commercial about Milk and Honey]

Woman Announcer:
Milk, honey. Mother Nature's elixir. An organic torture as old as civilization itself. Ask your milk and honey representative about the Boats.

Sophia:
[to Gary] Milk and honey. You're probably asking yourself, what the hell is that.

Gary Bunda:
I'm sitting here asking myself, what the hell is that? Is there pee in it? Everything I drink has got pee in it.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Demon Salesman:
Hey, guys, come over here, check out these fidget spinners. Come on. Today's ADHD Millennials have trouble focusing on the torture you're trying to impose on 'em. Let the razor-tipped fidget spinner do all the work.

Demon Salesman:
[holds a fidget spinner] Oh, there she goes now. You ever see a spin like that? Just imagine what that can do, huh?

Gary Bunda:
Oh, man! Can I take it for a test drive?

Demon Salesman:
Absolutely, absolutely. But you got to be careful. They're self-aware, but they're not very smart. There she goes. Look at that.

Fidget Spinner #1:
I'm finally free of the chain!

[the fidget spinner slits the Demon Salesman's throat]

Fidget Spinners:
We're free!

Fidget Spinner #2:
[to Troy] Who's the son of a bitch who enslaved us?

Fidget Spinner #3:
[to Troy] It's him!

Fidget Spinner #2:
[to Troy] He did it!

Troy:
No, no, no, we're just visiting from out of town, visiting!

Fidget Spinner #2:
Liar! Everyone, attack!

Fidget Spinners:
Attack, attack! Attack!

[Troy and Eddie run from their lives against the fidget spinners]

Gary Bunda:
Don't forget, we have reservations at 7:20 tonight!

Eddie:
SEE YA THEN!

Gary Bunda:
SEE YA SOON!

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Troy:
What in the hell are you supposed to be dressed up as?

Gary Bunda:
I'm cosplay. I'm Steampunk Satan.

Troy:
I don't think this is that kind of convention, Gary.

Gary Bunda:
Come on. I'm not the only person in costume. You got Poison Ivy over there.

[cuts to the next scene where the torture woman is being tortured by poison ivy in all of her body]

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Satan:
What the hell is going on here?!

[Gary and Troy gets back to torturing Eddie with staplers and ropes]

Satan:
Hey, hey, stop, stop, stop. Eddie, you in any pain over there?

Eddie:
Wah-wah. [imitating a sad trombone sound effect]

Satan:
Yeah, what's...what is this?

Gary Bunda:
We put a bunch of rocks up his asshole, but the thing is is that his asshole is just...like this, and it's like a volcano top.

Troy:
Yeah, we've been having to improvise. We've been using, like, office supplies and stuff. We're -- We're completely out of ball clamps.

Satan:
Why don't you just go buy more?

Gary Bunda:
Um, how would we...

Troy:
I don't think we knew we could...

Gary & Troy:
Where would we do that?

Satan:
Suffer-Con. It's a convention of the latest tortures. This weekend in San Diablo.

Gary Bunda:
[surprised] San Diablo!

Troy:
Whoo!

Satan:
And, uh, Eddie, come on down. You go with 'em. I want you to try the clamps on your balls, make sure they're painful. Have fun. Bon voyage!

Gary, Troy, and Eddie:
ROAD TRIP!

[Eddie's butt suddenly pulls out rocks from his bottom]

Troy:
Those aren't the rocks we put in there.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Gary Bunda:
Why is Satan tormenting us all the time?

Troy:
Because it's hell.

Gary Bunda:
Yeah, but I mean, he got kicked out of heaven for being, like, a proud angel, so how does that translate into snapping clamps onto child molesters and to tax cheats?

Gary Bunda:
I think it would be so much cooler if he made Hell better than Heaven. That would be a bigger [bleep] to God than him being a bitch all the time.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Troy:
Hey, Ben, how many balls you think Eddie's got? We need a pair of balls clamps.

Gary Bunda:
Yeah, he's not Charlie Chaplin.

Ben:
How many of you jackoffs does it take to work one clamp?

Troy:
Where's this coming from?

Gary Bunda:
Whoooo!

Eddie:
Wow.

Gary Bunda:
No, Troy is working with me, alright. We are working, man. We don't sit at a desk all day.

Ben:
What do you want from me? You guys check 'em out, you don't check 'em back in.

Gary Bunda:
You don't work on the floor, you don't know what it's like. People walk into the lava, it melts the clamps. I cut off a pair of dick and balls, clamps go into a canyon. I don't have the hours in the daaaaaaay to go looking for these clamps, okay? I'm not some ball boy in Wimbledon.

Ben:
I got some binder clips.

Gary Bunda:
Oh, my god.

Troy:
Binder clips?

Ben:
And I got a rock. You can shove this up his ass.

Gary Bunda:
This is amateur hour.

Ben:
Look, until Satan order more clamps, you're gonna have to do with the clips.

Troy:
Alright, you know what? We'll take the -- We'll take the rocks, too. Give us the rocks.

Ben:
Okay, here's a big one. [throws the rock aggressively to the employees]

Troy:
You don't have to throw 'em!

Gary Bunda:
Let's go. We can shove these up his ass.

Ben:
You guys have a nice day.

Troy:
Have a nice day up your ass, Ben.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Roostre:
Alright, boy. Check this out.

[Roostre shows Spider, The Corn-Droid]

Roostre:
That's pretty freakin' awesome, isn't it? But here's the bitch of it. [sees the scan] Wrong hand.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Liquor:
Look. Roostre. has got this other thing, but he need the hand to make it work. Then we can blow this town apart.

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
Why does he need that hand?

Liquor:
Because, duh, it's his hand.

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
I'm not going anywhere without all these weapons.

Liquor:
Do you have any weapons?

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

[Fitz, Skillet, and Green Sweatered Woman heard something from the elevator]

Liquor:
Hi.

[Fitz and his friends, and especially the meat shoot Liquor,]

Liquor:
My skin is bulletproof.

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
No way.

Liquor:
Yes way.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Mouse 'Fitz' Fitzgerald:
Looks like somebody with a hook might have filed all these serial numbers off. That's a mystery. That's a hook and mystery.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Rectangular Businessman:
And everyone thought Corn-Droid was just a legend.

Shark:
I knew it was real. I'm not as easily suckered into things as you are with your soft, little mind.

Rectangular Businessman:
Of course not. That's why you chose the shark.

Shark:
I have my reasons for that choice, but you seem to like the square.

Rectangular Businessman:
The square has 4 points, 4 rich and and interesting points full of wealth and ambition. You are merely roundish and soft-fleshed.

Shark:
I'm not getting into this with you again, and the animal chain is missing.

Rectangular Businessman:
[sarcastic] Well, way to hide it in most obvious place. Nice work. Didn't see that one coming.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

[Roostre and Spider go on a jetpack ride]

Roostre:
Man, Isn't this cool? Who else you know that has these jet packs? No one, man, nobody but your old buddy Roostre.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

[Shark opens his hidden stash from his lair and notices that his golden Skillet necklace is stolen]

Shark:
And stupid retard.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Shadowy Figure:
[warbling voice]

Peanut Cop:
What? I don't understand [chuckles] a thing you're saying, man. Do you have any idea what you sound like? "Blah blah blah blah." [wheezes] That's what you sound like in my head.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Peanut Cop:
[grabs beer on the floor] You're my liquor god.

[Peanut gets shots by a tranquilizer dart]

Peanut Cop:
Ow! Ohh...mmh! That...was...awesome.

[Peanut gets shot by another tranquilizer dart]

Peanut Cop:
Ow. Could I get a couple more of these, please? [laughs]

[Peanut Cop gets shot by several tranquilizer darts]

Peanut Cop:
I don't even see you, man, but thank you.

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

[Peanut and Liquor finally went back to the Liquor Store]

Liquor:
Hey, I just came from here.

Peanut Cop:
You did? What, I did?

Liquor:
Yeah. You did.

Peanut Cop:
Ok. Look. I got to get something to wash down this beer with, my alcohol. [wheezes] If, uh, if something catches fire, I'm gonna be here in here, so don't call me. [wheezes] Or do. I don't-- Who cares? What am I gonna do about it?

12 oz. Mouse  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

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