Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #162

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 5,773 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Jenny:
I didn't think anyone would ever love me looking like this.

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man):
I didn't think anyone could love me looking like this.

[Gary accidentally took off his disguise revealing his true self to what Jenny said]

Jenny:
[screams] OH, NO! DEMON! [while making religious cross hand signals]

Gary Bunda:
No, no, no, no, no!

Jenny:
OH, GOOD LORD! OHH!

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man):
[puts back his disguise] I'm still hot. I'm still hot, see? It's just a hallucination brought on by your brain cancer or some dumb sh*t.

Jenny:
Actually, it's ovarian.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Jenny:
You brought a goat all the way up here?

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man):
Uh, yeah. I love fresh goat's milk straight from the teat. And I love milking it. You should try it. I'm a guide your hand so you can milk him.

Jenny:
Oh, "Him"?

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man):
I'm sorry. It's a her.

Jenny:
Oh.

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man):
It's just big for a lady.

[Gary teaches Jenny to learn how to milk a goat]

Jenny:
Ooh, uh, this feels weird. Why hasn't any milk come out yet?

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man):
It sometimes takes up to 45 minutes or so.

Jenny:
Oh. Oh.

[Gary teaches Jenny to learn how to milk a goat]

Jenny:
Ooh, uh, this feels weird. Why hasn't any milk come out yet?

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man):
You just got to -- You can switch hands.

Jenny:
Okay, yeah, my hand is gonna get pretty tired.

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man):
Kiss me while you're milking the goat. [Gary and Jenny kisses each other] Oh yeah, just keep milking it.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Hambrosia:
If I'm gonna go on a compassion spree, I'll need to use time wisely!

[Hambrosia breaks the hourglass snorting the sand into one of her nostrils to slow time to kill people before Meemaw dies]

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

[Hammerman heard giggling in the other room and thought Dr. Paul Nickgibbion is cheating from him]

Hammerman:
I cooked the cutlets just how you like, but I suppose you two are more interested in suckling each others' fleshy genitalia.

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion:
Hammerman, it's not like that. It's not what you think.

Claude:
We wanted to bring you in on this. Who's up for a threesome? Show of hands.

[Hammerman raise his hands for excitement]

Claude:
Raise your hands high if you want to have sex with me and the doctor.

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion:
[to Claude] You... [chuckles]

Claude:
[to Hammerman] Do I... [seducing the robot] turn you on, Hammerman? Or do I turn you...off!

[Hammerman grabs Claude's arm by force]

Claude:
Owww! NO, ST-O-OP!

Hammerman:
You home-wrecking bitch.

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion:
No! You stop that now.

[Hammerman lets go of Claude's arm]

Hammerman:
I hope you have a great life together.

[Hammerman leaves]

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion:
Where are you going? No, no, not the wall! Not the wall!

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Claude:
We need to figure out how to stop your robot from murdering.

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion:
That's his whole identity. Okay, listen -- I'm already planning to break up with him.

Claude:
I --

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion:
If he loses his job, too, he's gonna have nothing left.

Claude:
Just tell me how to shut him off.

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion:
His off-switch is under his left armpit. Yeah, just, uh, there. [Dr. Nickgibbion touches Claude's armpit] Whoo! Tickle! Tickle!

Claude:
What are you -- Stop it!

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion:
Tickle, tickle, tickle!

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Jenny:
I was really hoping that we would swim with the dolphins today, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen.

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man):
Grab a spoon, come on. Let's be gluttonous. And then, we can call your parents up and tell them to go f*** themselves. [reads his pocket guide] Yeah, we'll "disrespect thy mother and father."

[Jenny sees Gary's pocket guide of sins and grabs it]

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man):
What are you do -- No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's not --

Jenny:
Leviticus list of sins? Gary, you know I'm a Baptist. I-I don't want to do anything on this list.

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man):
You're right. What am I doing? I'm being selfish. W-What do you want to do?

Jenny:
I have always wanted to get an old-timey mustache on my finger -- You know, so in photos I can be like "Ello, guvna" --

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man):
Let's do that.

Jenny:
...and then maybe go to a butterfly farm.

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man):
They have those?

Jenny:
Oh! We could go ride a roller coaster, like, five times in a row. I don't know.

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man):
What if, instead, you handle cookware while menstruating?

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Claude:
Gary, what the hell are you doing?

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man):
[whispering] Jenny and I are taking life by the horns, Claude.

Claude:
So, you're just gonna ignore what Satan told us to do?

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man):
No, no, Satan wants souls, and I'm gonna get him a soul, Claude.

[Gary shows his pocket guide full of worthy sins again to let Claude know that he's got it all under control]

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man):
You ever see that movie, "The Bucket List"?

Jenny:
I have always wanted to go camping and then watch a sunrise.

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man):
No, not that. No, we should do the bucket list from "The Bucket List." You know what I mean? When they're driving the motorcycles down the Great Wall of China?

Jenny:
Oh!

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man):
Like, Jack Nicholson had that scene where he reconnects with his daughter? T-That would be fun. That's fun.

Jenny:
You know what? You're right. We only get one go-around at this life. We should grab it by the horns.

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man):
Yeah, and leave good-looking corpses along the way.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Jenny:
Gary, should I do this?

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man):
If I've learned anything from my time in Iraq, it's that life is short.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion:
I gave him free will, and he's chosen to become obsessed with me.

Claude:
Did you happen to give him an "off" switch?

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion:
[flirting] Why don't you and I go to bed and talk about it, huh? Yeah? Does my boldness unnerve you?

Claude:
Um, honestly, it does.

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion:
Hammerman is very jealous. We mustn't be seen together.

Hammerman:
See you do what?

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion:
Hammerman!

Hammerman:
You promise me you would make me more human, and you programmed me to love you, but you gave me hammers for hands.

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion:
Not in front of the guest. No, no.

Hammerman:
You have not touched my rubber vagina in months.

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion:
Why don't you go prepare us our dinner, huh? Yeah? [to Claude] He loves to beat the veal with his hammer hands. [to Hammerman] Go, go.

Claude:
Can I ask why you gave a hammerman a vagina?

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion:
Well, it's in the ass.

Claude:
The vagina is in the butt?

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion:
[sexually] Yeah.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

[Gary tries to disguise as a cancerous handsome man to get Jenny]

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man):
[spills them purposely] Oh, no. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I should be more careful with needles. I'm so clumsy.

Jenny:
It's fine.

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man):
Uh, nice to meet you. I'm Gary.

Jenny:
Hi. I'm Jenny.

Handsome Man:
[from the hallway] He stole my nose tube! [gasping]

Gary Bunda (as Handsome Man):
[imitates cough] Sorry, just not feeling very good today. Guess we're a couple of cancer twins. [laughs]

Jenny:
I'm just glad that they found a way to end our suffering. And it's not a sin. So, yay! [chuckles]

Gary Bunda:
You didn't read page seven.

Jenny:
Hm.

Gary Bunda:
"Death by Episcopalian Hammer Robot"? It just starts snapping your bones and mashing your brains, and just going, [imitates hammers thudding]

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion:
Yeah, Hammerman murders, so it's not a suicide. They can go to Heaven, their suffering is over -- Everybody wins.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Claude:
Satan wants you to get back to the assisted suicides. I mean, what was so bad about the injections with drain cleaner?

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion:
Hammerman can't work a hypodermic. Have you seen his hammer hands?

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

[The Hammerman breaks through the wall brutally murdering the lovely couple in religion style]

Hammerman:
Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on Earth, as it is in Heaven.

Gary Bunda:
[outside the window] It's just mashing him up!

Hammerman:
Give us this day our daily bread.

Gary Bunda:
RUN! GET OUT OF THERE!

Hammerman:
And forgive us our trespasses.

Gary Bunda:
There's, like, six more people left in there. HOLY SH*T! HE'S USING THE CLAW-END OF THE HAMMERS NOW!

Hammerman:
And lead us not into temptation...

Gary Bunda:
RUN! YOU GOT TO GET OUT OF THERE!

Hammerman:
...but deliver from evil -- For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever and ever. Amen.

[Hammerman sprayed holy water for the lovely couple]

Claude:
What's he spraying? Is that acid?

Dr. Paul Nickgibbion:
Holy water -- Hammerman is Episcoplalian.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Larry:
You know, I was supposed to be injected with sodium pentothal. But I told Dr. Nickgibbion I was deathly afraid of needles.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Gary Bunda:
Tell me -- Um, can we use the corporate card for this?

Satan:
Yeah, knock yourselves out.

Gary Bunda:
Yes! Um, thing about the corporate account -- Do you remember how you spent that week sort of, like, exploding my bottom with a bunch of lightning bolts and then it set my pants on fire and then you rip off my pants and then you shove 'em up my ass...

Satan:
Yeah, I remember that. Mm-hmm.

[Satan moves forward to Gary to leave his lair from yapping]

Gary Bunda:
...and then you set me on fire? My wallet was in those pants, and so my card got demangnetized.

Satan:
Uh-huh.

Gary Bunda:
So, can I get some petty cash for that, or can I...

[Satan closes his doors away from Gary]

Gary Bunda:
I DON'T HAVE MONEY!

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Satan:
Anti-depressants, anti-bullying, the acceptance of diversity, people staring at their phones instead of realizing how meaningless life is -- Suicides are way down, gentlemen and now...this.

[Satan shows Gary and Claude an image of Dr. Paul Nickgibbion on the internet]

Satan:
You know who this is?

Gary Bunda:
Yes.

Satan:
Who is it?

Gary Bunda:
[pauses] ...I don't know.

Satan:
Dr. Paul Nickgibbion.

Claude:
Oh, is it that that weird assisted suicide guy?

Gary Bunda:
Ohh, yeah, the guy is so metal!

Satan:
Yeah, but that son of a bitch hasn't sent me suicides in months.

Gary Bunda:
Well, maybe they're just angels up in sweet, sweet Heaven.

Claude:
Gary, suicide is a sin. How have you been down here this long and you don't know that?

[Gary looks at his pocket guide of hell worthy sins]

Gary Bunda:
Alright, you can a boil a child in a bucket full of breast milk. Yeah, that's a sin, of course. But you can't wear polyester? We're covered in polyester.

Claude:
That's why.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Fallopia:
Saul!

Saul:
Fallopia! You came for me!

Fallopia:
Of course!

Saul:
So you do love me after all.

Fallopia:
No. Yes! I-I-I don't know. No. I am in a really mixed-up place right now.

Saul:
Oh, Fallopia, one day I'll find a way to win your heart.

Fallopia:
Maybe.

Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Johnny Tambourine:
Fallopia's right. You are a real jerk, Johnny Tambourine. Why must you keep pushing everyone away? Maybe it's 'cause you haven't found the right chick.

Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Fallopia:
What are we gonna do now?

Johnny Tambourine:
SHUT YOUR BLEEDING MOUTH AND LET ME THINK!

Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Stromulous Gaundor:
I will see my Latisia again, senor Malone, but if I am ever to bring my wife back to this world, I am going to need that stone. Now, where is it?!

Saul:
I have a question for you. ARE YOU NUTS?!

Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Stromulous Gaundor:
Where is the stone Where is the stone?! WHERE IS THE STONE?!

Saul:
I told you, I have no idea!

Stromulous Gaundor:
Do not insult me. I am a scientist!

[shows Saul he got a chemistry set toy kit by proving he's a scientist]

Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Robot:
If I still had my lungs, I bet breathing all this crisp mountain air would remind me of the time me and Murph scaled the Himalayas with that sherpa. Three days in, supplies got scarce, but then Murph says eating human flesh once doesn't make you a cannibal any more than sleeping with a corpse makes you a necrophile.

Johnny Tambourine:
SHUT UP!

Robot:
[gasps]

Johnny Tambourine:
NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STUPID MURPH STORIES!

Robot:
I don't want to go anymore! Just leave me here to die.

Johnny Tambourine:
FINE! [smiles afterwards]

Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

Saul:
What the heck are you? Some sort of half-bird, half-bat?

Stromulous Gaundor:
No! I am 100% birdbat!

Saul of the Mole Men  Movie Quote

added 7 months ago

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