Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #229

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 6,059 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Narrator:
And Doug got to experience every man's fantasy -- a two-way with himself.

The Shivering Truth  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Narrator:
It got so steamy, even his vanity became aroused.

The Shivering Truth  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Narrator:
When he reflected on his strengths, Doug finally began to love himself. And when a man finds self-esteem, he can coax himself to go all the way.

The Shivering Truth  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Doug Dwyer:
[thinking] And the noble prize for the Most Random Series of Numbers of All Time goes to...Dougie Dwyer!

The Shivering Truth  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Narrator:
When he realized that no one believed in him, Doug rushed home to see if he was there.

The Shivering Truth  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Doug Dwyer:
You can fire me, but one day I'll show you. I'll show you all.

[Doug suddenly pulls out his guns taped from his muscles and gunfires the building]

Boss:
Christ, Dwyer! It's too loud.

The Shivering Truth  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Boss:
Feisty little bastard. Oh, wait. That's what going on. Feisty little bitch, I should say -- protecting her eggs.

Doug Dwyer:
Eggs? I'm a little scared.

Boss:
It's okay. She got the little things hatching right now.

The Shivering Truth  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurlan:
I understand every atom of information in the universe, not least of which are the secrets of this Holler!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Doug Dwyer:
What the heck-fire?

The Shivering Truth  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Boss:
We are so freaking disappointed in your output, Dwyer. Everyone else in this department types at lest 10,000 random numbers a day. Your average is 19.

Doug Dwyer:
Sorry, sir. It's just --

Boss:
What's so hard about it? Just type random numbers as fast as you can. See? Ding, ding, ding, ding. That's it. Easy peasy. Now you try. Go!

[Doug Dwyer still gets confused which number to type]

Boss:
Just hit numbers! Faster! Faster!

Doug Dwyer:
But I can never decide which number to choose.

Boss:
Don't think about it. Just type. It's random.

Doug Dwyer:
I know, but I still want it to be good.

Boss:
Well, it isn't good.

The Shivering Truth  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Meemaw:
You have proved your intelligence! Sorry we manipulated you!

Hurlan:
Manipulated me? When?

Meemaw:
Doesn't matter. Sometimes, delusion is more true than the truth.

[Meemaw showed him the stitches that Hurlan made after he fixed up the TV version of Meemaw that transfers her to the original Meemaw]

Hurlan:
Wait, uh, you mean that you're saying the opposite of what you mean, and I'm not smart?

[Meemaw rips her chest out seeing another Meemaw in a TV version containing multiple dimensions]

TV Meemaw:
No!

Meemaw:
Yes!

TV Meemaw:
No!

Meemaw:
Yes!

TV Meemaw:
No!

Meemaw:
Yes!

TV Meemaw:
No!

Meemaw:
Yes!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurshe:
Hot dog!

Hurlan:
You speakum hot dog?

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Indian Mobster:
Why will you not die already?

Severed Head:
Uh, why don't you brush your teeth already?

Audience:
[laughs]

Indian Mobster:
I'm warning you -- keep it up and I'll stop this holy war right now.

Severed Head:
Bawk-bawk, honey. A-bawk-bawk. [slide whistle plays]

Severed Head:
Mm, check the hottie in the front row. Hey, uh, missy, you care for a three-way? or at least a 2 1/4-way?

Audience:
[laughs]

Severed Head:
Hey, I'm not severed where it counts.

Indian Mobster:
Please die, for the love of Allah.

Severed Head:
Tell you what, I'll die if you answer one question.

Indian Mobster:
You have a deal. Fire away.

Severed Head:
Why does your faith glorify hate?

Audience:
[gasping]

Indian Mobster:
You really want to know? For me, it's -- s-see, I never had a mother. [sniffles]

Audience:
[boos]

Severed Head:
Wait, wait, if you never had a mom, then how do you exist at all?

Indian Mobster:
Jumpin' Jihad, you're right.

[The Indian Mobster disappeared out of existence]

Audience:
[cheered and applause]

The Shivering Truth  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Narrator:
When their healing work is done, our wounds begin to heal themselves.

The Shivering Truth  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hambrosia:
Look at that vase over there. Now focus all your lack of coitus into it.

[Hurshe breaks the vase with her mind powers]

Hambrosia:
Being worthless can be pretty useful huh, sis?

Hurshe:
Teach me how to hone the power of my crotchular zilch, and together we can take over the Holler for good.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurlan:
I hereby call to order the biweekly Lonely Boy's Wishing Club. I guess I'll go first. Uh, I never told nobody this, but I always wished I had a little brother.

Hurlan:
Boy, I would -- I swear, I'd take real good care of him, too. You know, I'd -- I'd -- I'd feed him -- I'd feed him every day. Hell, I feed him every hour! I'd feed him eight or nine times an hour!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurlan:
This is a suicide pill.

Hurlette:
That just looks like a raisin.

Hurlan:
Well, I'm gonna take it.

Hurlette:
No, my sweet! I'll save you!

[Hurlette snorts the suicide pill in one of her nostrils, then exploded]

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurlette:
Are you sure you don't want to give me another chance?

Hurlan:
I can't be with Ashley. I'd rather be dead than be with you.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurlan:
Don't I do it!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Boss Hoss:
Today, you're gonna commit your first murder.

Hurlan:
Mu-- mu-- mu--

Boss Hoss:
I envy you, getting to sup your first taste of sweet savagery, become a man.

Hurlan:
MEATIER?!

Boss Hoss:
My ex-henchbaby, he got himself a widdle guilty conscience. Now we can't have his old dirty work coming back to bite the Heartshe name in the butt that fed him. You go rub him out while I go rub one out.

Hurlan:
No, Daddy!

Boss Hoss:
Are you refusing to do what I ask you the first time?! Well, fine! You just go put in the tape of first refusal.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

[Vet starts to have some catastrophic dreams]

Cutter the Vet:
Violent footage.

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

Hurshe:
Meemaw, if you're voodoodoo dolls are collect-calling my life, then I'm about to reverse the charges!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

The Reverend (as Hurshe):
The next person to walk through this door will be Preacher again!

[The Reverend as Hurshe closes the door, then opens it back as the original Reverend he is with whip marks on his face]

The Reverend:
Hurshe said that you had something to say to my face.

Sheriff:
Preacher, what happened to your face?!

The Reverend:
Helen. She hit me!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

[After Sheriff's vision saw Hambrosia as Hurshe with delusional serum]

Sheriff:
I was looking at you, hon, but I'm seeing someone sexy. What say we skip dinner and do whatever sick stuff you can think up?

Hambrosia (as Hurshe):
Really? I can let my mind run wild?

Sheriff:
Like a dog at the dump.

Hambrosia (as Hurshe):
Well, I've got this whip...and this. [pulls up a barber razor blade] And I could do this.

[Hambrosia whispers indistinctly into Sheriff's ear]

Sheriff:
Oh, that is so sick!

[Hambrosia then starts slurping his ear seductively]

Sheriff:
[panting] Would I even survive that?!

The Heart, She Holler  Movie Quote

added 1 year ago

We need you!

Help us build the largest authors community and quotes collection on the web!

Quiz

Are you a quotes master?

»
Who said, "To lead the people walk behind them"?
A Mahatma Gandhi
B Nelson Mandela
C Lao Tzu
D Martin Luther King Jnr