Nurse:
Can I help you?
Julian:
Yes, you can. My friend's got an abscess tooth. We need someone to take a look at it.
Bubbles:
No, we don't actually, Julian. Let's just get the fuck outta here. I'm fine.
Nurse:
I'm sorry sir, there's no smoking. And is this gentleman with you too?
Ricky:
Yeah, I'm fucking with him. What do you mean, there's no smoking?
Nurse:
And what is your problem, sir?
Ricky:
Well, now I can't smoke. That's my first problem. I got a busted nose which I now got a rag glued to, and a fucking truck glued to my hand. How's that for a start?
Conky:
And she's fucked in the head.
Ricky:
Conky.
Conky:
He needs a brain transplant.
Ricky:
(grasps Conky by his throat) I'm serious, you better fuck off.
Julian:
(moves Ricky's hand away from Conky) Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick.
Ricky:
You've been fucking with me all goddamn day here.
Nurse:
Washington, hold wide. Please, Washington. Sir, let's all just calm down.
Julian:
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Ricky:
You want a piece of me, you little dick? Huh?
Julian:
Ricky.
Conky:
Don't you touch me.
Ricky:
(punches Conky in the face) Stop fucking looking at me, Conky
Nurse:
What is the gentleman's first name?
Julian:
Bubbles.
Ricky:
Fucking dick.
Nurse:
And what is his last name?
Julian:
Uh... just Bubbles.
Ricky:
Get the fuck away from me, Conky. Get the fuck away from me.
Nurse:
Okay. And you gentlemen all live at the same civic address?
Julian:
(Points to Bubbles) He lives in my shed. (Points to Ricky) Ricky lives in his car.
Nurse:
Okay. Any health card social insurance numbers? Is there any information you can give me?
Ricky:
I do have one last bit of information for ya. (sticks up both middle fingers on both his hands, with the truck glued to his hand) This is called a double whammy, which I only bring out for special occasions, alright? So why don't you and your whole hospital fuck off, you won't help me. It's 'cause I live in a car? Is that what it is?
[the boys get apprehended by orderlies and are pulled from the nurse's desk]
Ricky :
Fuck! Holy fuck! You guys can fuck off!
Julian:
Guys, guys, guys, guys.
Ricky :
The fuck is this shit?! I live in a car, you won't fucking fix me up or help my friend?
Conky:
Nice going, Ricky.
Ricky :
Fuck you, Conky.
(the orderlies throw the boys out of the hospital)
Ricky :
Fuck!
Orderly:
Crazy octo-eyed motherfuckers.
Conky:
Frig off, Washington. (to Ricky and Julian) Are you happy now, Julian? Bubbles is gonna go into a coma and die probably, ya idiots!
Bubbles:
Conky, please, just don't taunt.
Julian:
Bubs, Bubs, don't worry about it. I'll get that tooth out somehow, alright?
Ricky:
(pissing on the side of the hospital) Who can go fuck whose self? No, you fuck off, you little fucker!
Julian:
Rick, who the hell are you talking to?
Ricky:
Fuckin' squirrel on my shoulder just told me to fuck off.
Bubbles:
Ricky, you're hallucinating!
Julian:
(pulls Ricky away from the wall) Listen, get a hold of yourself, Ricky. Ricky, you just pissed on me!
Ricky:
Well, you pulled me away!
Julian:
Listen, just pretend you're on mushrooms, all right? Just go with it. Come on, let's go.
