Wikidude's Quotes Page #5,675

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[Peter and a few of the guys spy on the bikini clad girls hosting a car wash across the street which attracts more customers than the Average Joe's Gym All Male Car Wash.] Owen: What are the chances on the same day right across the street? Peter: Come on. Those girls beat us fair and square. I for one will be a gentleman and go over to congratulate each and every one of them. Hi, purple. [Gordon then runs over to Peter, Steve, Owen and Dwight, alarmed by the truck owner and his dog.] Gordon: Umm guys, guys. Not to be a naysayer or anything, but the only customer that we had so far that weird guy who keeps paying Justin to wash his truck. [Peter and the others turn their attention to the male owner who is obviously using his dog to force Justin to wash his truck's wheels.] Truck Owner: [playing with his belly button] That's it boy! Get in there nice and deep like. [The dog barks forcing Justin to work faster] Peter: Yeah, that's not good. Steve the Pirate: Gar, This sucks. [Peter collects Justin and the other guys and retreats to Average Joe's Gym.] – Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[An Average Joe's commercial is seen in which is now newly renovated and successful due to Peter's better money management and business skills.] Peter: Hi, I'm Peter LaFleur, owner and operator of Average Joe's gym and I'm here to tell you, you're perfect the way you are. But if you feel like losing a few pounds, eating healthier and making a few friends in the process, then Joe's is the place for you. [Peter is seen with Kate (who is now his girlfriend), Dwight, Gordon with his children, Steve the Pirate, Justin, Amber (Justin's pregnant girlfriend), Owen and Fran. They are surrounded by children and on top of the newly built Dodgeball gym is a picture of a wheelchair bound Patches O' Houlihan.] Peter: Don't forget, youth dodge ball classes are forming right now. So learn a great game like it's supposed to be played. Right, kids? Children: Right. [They throw dodgeball at Peter and co, and having a blast in it. A scene soon switches to White Goodman's living room. He's now obese from drowning his sorrows in junk food] White: [mock laughter before turning off the TV with the remote.] Spare me, I won that tournament. [Eats a chicken thigh] Fuckin' Chuck Norris! – Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Fran: After 20 years of doing what was expected of us, we're free. Sam: I'm just as keen on this trip as you are. I'm rarin' to go. I've always wanted to see London and Paris. Fran: I want much more than a trip out of this, Sam. I want a new life, all over from the very beginning. A perfectly glorious, free, adventurous life. – Dodsworth Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Fran: Why, if we weren't tied to this half-baked Middle Western town... Sam: Fran, don't start knocking Zenith. Fran: Darling, I'm not knocking Zenith. But have you ever thought what Zenith means to me? You go down to the plant and deal in millions and have a marvelous time. I go down to the kitchen and order dinner. Then there's the ladies' luncheon and bridge, always the same ladies. Then dinner... same people we dined with last week. After dinner, poker for the men and women for the women. There's talk of children and doctors and servants and the garden club... Sam: Thought you liked the garden club. Fran: I can't go on liking the same things forever and ever. Oh, Sammy darling, I want all the lovely things I've got a right to. In Europe, a woman of my age is just to the point where men begin to take a serious interest in her. I won't be put on the shelf for my daughter when I can still dance longer and better than she can. After all, I've got brains and, thank heavens, I've still got looks. Nobody takes me for over 32. 30 even. Oh Sammy, darling, I'm begging for life. No, I'm not. I'm demanding it. Sam: I see how you feel. All right, I'll enjoy life now if it kills me, and it probably will. – Dodsworth Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Sam: She wants me to learn how to enjoy my leisure, now that I'm retired. But what it boils down to - well, I've been doing things myself for a long time now. I thought I'd give things a chance to do something to me. Edith: The education of an American. Sam: Yes, you might call it that. Edith: How long have you given yourself? Sam: Six months. Edith: To get all that done? Sam: Oh, I'll be homesick by then. – Dodsworth Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Fran: Can't we stay and have our nightcap down here? Capt. Lockert: Why not? Fran: We can't go off and leave everything as perfect as this. That'd be ridiculous. I'd like to stay right here and see the dawn. Capt. Lockert: You don't think he'll roar around the ship and shoot when he finds me here? Fran: Who, Sam? Oh, no. No, he's got all the old-fashioned virtues, except jealousy. – Dodsworth Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Sam: You've lived abroad. What's it like? Edith: That depends on what one's after, as you would say. Sam: When a man has no more job and his wife wants a fling there are worse things than travel. It wouldn't do for me though. No, not long, it wouldn't. For a steady thing, give me America. For Americans, that is. Edith: Drifting isn't nearly so pleasant as it looks. Sam: Why don't you give it up? Edith: One drifts for lack of a reason to do anything else. Sam: Well, what do you want? Edith: What do you suppose any lone woman wants? – Dodsworth Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Capt. Lockert: You're taking a wickedly unfair advantage of me. I only thought I was doing what was expected of me. Fran: What I expected of you? Capt. Lockert: Not you alone, Fran. There's a tradition about this sort of thing. I thought civilized people knew where an innocent flirtation stops. For a civilized woman who's been married as long as you have, you're making a great deal of a small matter. Fran: It's not a small matter to me. I offer you my most abject apology. Capt. Lockert: If I might offer you one small word of advice, give up starting things you're not prepared to finish. It's quite evident they only lead you out of your depth. Fran: You think I'm not equal to your impudence? Look at the exhibition you're making of yourself. Capt. Lockert: I? Any modern schoolgirl could compete with this situation. You've got the most childish misconception of yourself. You think you're a woman of the world, and you're nothing of the sort. – Dodsworth Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Fran: You've got to take care of me. You really have, Sam. I don't trust myself. I'm afraid of myself. Sam: You're afraid, sweetheart? Fran: Yes, I am. I'm just a wooly American like you after all. If you ever catch me trying to be anything else, will you beat me? Sam: Well, will I have to beat you very long at a time? Fran: Oh, Sam, come in and finish your breakfast. – Dodsworth Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Edith: I hadn't realized it was your birthday. Fran: No? Wish I hadn't. No woman enjoys getting to be 35. Edith: When you're my age, you look back on 35 as a most agreeable time of life. Fran: I hope I look as young as you do when I'm your age. Edith: You're almost sure to, my dear. – Dodsworth Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Fran: Why don't you go home? Sam: Without you? Fran: Yeah. Get yourself a new lease on life and come back here and join me. Why don't ya? Sam: I wouldn't want to go home without you. Fran: I can see you're not enjoying yourself in Paris. I'm only thinking of your pleasure. If you've got a mind, you wouldn't ask me to leave. I just made nice friends. Sam: I don't think they're so nice. I don't, and I don't see what you see in them. ... Fran: They all belong to the smartest crowd in Paris. Sam: You think the real thing in Paris would hang out with a couple of hicks like us? What else are we? I'm just an ordinary American businessman and I married the daughter of a Zenith brewer who's flying high these days. Fran: I suppose you know what you mean by that. Sam: Why won't you sit at a cafe with me? Fran: Smart people don't. Sam: I'm not smart. Fran: I am. Sam: You ought to be smart enough not to care what people think. – Dodsworth Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Fran: Oh, you're hopeless. You haven't the mistiest notion of civilization here. Sam: Yeah, well, maybe I don't think so much of it, though. Maybe clean hospitals, concrete highways, and no soldiers along the Canadian border come near my idea of civilization. There are 20 million automobiles in America. Now, I've contributed something to every single one of them from my own personal civilization. And if that isn't more than knowing how to order dinner as your friend the madam... Fran: You don't want to learn. I could teach you. I belong here. They accept me here. Sam: Yeah? Well, I'm gonna get out of this town and back to doing something, and take you along. Fran: Well, I'm not going, Sam. Sam: Oh, yes, you are. Fran: No, I'm not. I think you and I need a vacation from each other. Sam: Well, I don't feel that way about it. I think I've been weak with you long enough. Fran: Besides, I've rented a villa with Renee for the summer at Montreux on Lake Geneva in Switzerland. I've signed the lease. Sam: Well, I think you might have told me. Fran: I got my own money. – Dodsworth Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Sam: Fran, my darling, you're not drifting away from me. Fran: I hope not. Sam: Oh, no. You and I, Fran, after all these years. All right, I'll give it up. I won't go home. Fran: But, you've, you've got to go home. You've simply got to. I can't stand being torn like this any longer. Oh, I'm sorry for all the mean things I've said to you. But if you and I are gonna go on together, you've simply got to let me alone this summer. Oh, don't look so hurt, and please don't be angry. Oh, be as angry as you like, if it does any good! Remember, I, I did make a home for you once, and I'll do it again, only you've got to let me have my fling now! Because you're simply rushing at old age, Sam, and I'm not ready for that yet. – Dodsworth Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Sam: You want to divorce me then? Fran: Why should I want to divorce you? You're my husband. Sam: You couldn't very well divorce me if I weren't. – Dodsworth Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Sam: Have things got this bad, Fran? I'm too tired to talk tonight. If things have got this bad, they've got to stop altogether. Now, I'm willing to do anything I can to make you happy. I love you. You know that. But if we're going on together, as you said to me back in Paris, I'm saying it now, if we are going on together, we've got to beat it right back home where we belong. Fran: Is that your idea of making me happy? Sam: I'm not taking any more chances on another Arnold Iselin. Oh, I know this friendship with Kurt is harmless enough, but you might get fascinated. Fran: You think I might? You really think I might? Well, I love Kurt, and Kurt loves me, and I'm going to marry him. He asked me tonight...You've never known me. You've never known anything about me, not what I had on or thought or the sacrifices I've made....I'll be happy with Kurt. I'm fighting for life! You can't drag me back! Sam: Will you get your divorce here? Fran: Yes, I suppose so. Sam: I wish you'd put it off for a couple of months. Fran: Why? Sam: I'd like you to feel sure of Kurt. That's all. Fran: Well, it's my funeral now, isn't it? Sam: Yes, I guess so. I'll have to get used to that idea. I guess I can. – Dodsworth Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Edith: Let's sit down, if you've got a moment. Sam: Time is something I have nothing else but. Edith: How's Mrs. Dodsworth? I remember her with much pleasure. Sam: She's fine. I haven't got her along this trip. Edith: She doesn't like traveling? Sam: Does anyone? I expect most people travel to get away from themselves. I've been at it three months now. I'm glad to hear why. Edith: Alone? Sam: I'm getting used to it now. All museums look alike. All American Express offices look alike. Edith: You knew I live here. You might've looked me up. Sam: I've gotten out of the way of looking folks up. Edith: The education, how's that coming along? Sam: I gave it up. I found myself learning things I didn't want to learn. – Dodsworth Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Sam: Edith, I've spent six short weeks with you in this house, and I can't imagine ever being without you again. Edith: I can't imagine being without you, either. I think I must love you a great deal. Sam: God bless you for that. – Dodsworth Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Sam: She's dropped the divorce. She's going home on the Rex day after tomorrow from Naples. I've got to go with her. Edith: I won't let you. Sam: What else can I do? Edith: I won't let you go back to her. Sam: I know this is a jolt. It's a jolt to me too. Edith: I won't see you killed by her selfishness. Sam: You don't understand. It'll be tough on her with all the talk there'll be. Edith: I love you, and she doesn't. You're miserable with her. Sam: I know. Edith: A moment ago, you had the whole world in your hands. I won't let her take it away from you. Sam: She's not taking it away. Edith: You were a young man a minute ago. I know everything's starting again. You shriveled the same way, every letter you got from her. Sam: I can't think. Edith: You're wrong to go back... Sam: Please, be fair. She's in a hole. She needs me. Edith: She does not need you, and you might think of me. Sam: I am thinking of you. ... Edith: One word from her, and you trot back. Sam: You've got to be patient with me. Edith: What is this hold she has over you? Sam: I've got to take care of her. A man's habits get pretty strong in 20 years. I'll go into town and make the reservations. It's giving you up that hurts. – Dodsworth Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Fran: I do think you might meet me halfway. After all, as I look back, I don't blame myself. I can't really. You were a good deal at fault too. Sam: Steward. Steward: Yes, sir. Sam: Take this check, go to suite seven on B deck...get the suitcase with that number on it and bring it here right away. [to Fran] I'm not sailing with you. Fran: You're not sailing? Sam: No, I'm not. You and I can't make a go of things any longer. Fran: This is the man I loved for 20 years. Sam: This is the man who's loved you. You haven't learned a single thing from all our sorrows. And I flattered myself you really wanted to come back to me. Fran: I tried, didn't I? I might've known you'd be just the same, yet I gave you another chance. Sam: I'm not taking another chance, because I'm through, finished. Fran: What's going to become of me? Sam: You'll stop getting younger someday. Fran: Are you going back to that washed-out expatriate in Naples? Sam: Yes, and when I marry her, I'm going back to doing things. Fran: Do you think you'll ever get me out of your blood? Sam: Maybe not. But love has got to stop someplace short of suicide. [Dodsworth runs to the gangplank and jumps on just as it is lowered away from the ship. The boat whistle sounds.] Steward: But the gentleman will miss the boat! Fran: HE'S GONE ASHORE! HE'S GONE ASHORE! – Dodsworth Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Nun: So, you don't believe in God...because of Alice in Wonderland? Loki: No, Through the Looking Glass, that poem "The Walrus and the Carpenter," that's an indictment of organized religion. The walrus, with his girth and good nature, obviously represents either Buddha or, with his tusks, the Hindu elephant god Lord Ganesha – that takes care of your eastern religions. Now the carpenter, which is an obvious reference to Jesus Christ, who was raised a carpenter's son, he represents the western religions. Now in the poem, what do they do? What do they do? They dupe all these oysters into following them and then proceed to shuck and devour the helpless creatures en masse. Now I don't know what that says to you, but to me it says that following these faiths based on mythological figures ensures the destruction of one's inner being. Organized religion destroys who we are by inhibiting our actions, by inhibiting our decisions, out of fear of some intangible parent figure, who shakes a finger at us from thousands of years ago and says "Do it, do it and I'll fucking spank you!" The existentialists can keep their Kierkegaard and their Sartre — give me Lewis Carroll any day. That guy knows what time it is! Nun: The way you put it... I've never thought about it like that before. What...what have I been doing with my life? Loki: Yeah, I know. Look, why don't you take this money you're collecting for your parish, and go out and buy yourself a new dress. Fix yourself up. Find some man. Find some woman. Find anyone you can connect with, even for a moment. Because that's all that life really is, Sister — it's a series of moments. Why don't you go seize yours? Attagirl. [The nun smiles gratefully and leaves. Loki sits next to Bartleby.] Bartleby: Here's what I don't get about you. You know for a fact that there's a God. You've been in His presence, He's spoken to you personally. And yet I just heard you claim to be an atheist. Loki: I just love to fuck with the clergy, man, I just love it. I love keeping those guys on their toes! – Dogma Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Loki: Our last four days on Earth. If I had a dick, I'd go get laid. But we can do the next best thing. Bartleby: What's that? Loki: Let's kill people. [A woman standing next to them does a spit take] Loki: Oh, not you. – Dogma Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[Metatron's fiery entrance in Bethany's room] Metatron: Behold the Metatron, herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true God. Behold the Metatron, herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true God. Behold the Metatron, herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true... [Bethany sprays Metatron with a fire extinguisher; Metatron coughs repeatedly and emerges from the smoke in human form as Bethany rushes to her bed and grabs a baseball bat] Metatron: Ah, Sweet Jesus! Did you have to use the whole can?! Bethany: Who the fuck are you and what the fuck are you doing in my room?! Metatron: I'm the one that's soaked and she's the one that's surly, that's rich. Stupid... fucking Christ... Bethany: Get the fuck out of here! Now! Metatron: Or you'll do what, exactly? Hit me with that...fffffish? [Bethany realizes the baseball bat she's holding is now a large fish, and drops it in shock] Metatron: Now, just sit down on the bed and shut up. Jesus wept... Look at my suit! Bethany: Look, just take whatever you want, but don't kill or rape me. Metatron: Oh, give over, will you? I couldn't rape you if I wanted to; Angels are ill-equipped! [Drops his pants to show blank skin where his genitals should be] See? I'm as anatomically impaired as a Ken doll. Now make yourself useful and gimme that towel, will you? [Bethany tosses it to him and he starts wiping his clothes dry] Honestly, you bottom feeders and your arrogance, you think everybody's just trying to get in your knickers. Bethany: What are you? Metatron: I'm pissed off, is what I am! Do you go around drenching everybody that comes into your room with flame-retardant chemicals? No wonder you're single. – Dogma Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Metatron: I am to charge you with a holy crusade. Bethany: For the record, I work in an abortion clinic. Metatron: Noah was a drunk, look what he accomplished. And no one's even asking you to build an ark. All you have to do is go to New Jersey and visit a small church on a very important day. Bethany: New Jersey? That doesn't sound like much of a crusade. Metatron: Aside from the fine print, that's it. Bethany: What's the fine print? Metatron: [Mumbling into glass] Stop-a-couple-of-angels-from-entering-and-thus-negating-all-existence. Bethany: Wait, wait, wait. Repeat that. Metatron: [Annoyed] Stop a couple of angels from entering and thus negating all existence. I hate when people need it spelled out for them! – Dogma Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[Jay and Silent Bob have just saved Bethany from Azrael's minions] Bethany: I don't know what to say or think, except... Jay: That's you'll offer us sex as a reward? Bethany: Um... that I'd like to know who they and you are. Jay: I'm Jay, and this my hetero lifemate Silent Bob. I don't know who those kids were, but they would have kicked yours and Lunchbox's asses if I hadn't of represented. Bethany: Well, thanks for being out here so late. Wait... are you protesters? Jay: You mean those dickheads with the signs and the pictures of dead babies? Shit no! Me and Silent Bob are pro-choice. A woman's body is her own goddamn business! Bethany: So, what are you doing hanging around? Jay: We're here to pick up chicks. Bethany: Excuse me? Jay: We figure an abortion clinic is a good place to meet loose women. Why else would they be here unless they like to fuck? – Dogma Movie Quote	added 5 years ago

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"Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."

A The Wizard of Oz

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