Search results for 'spongebob' Page #43

Zoo Worker 1:
What's wrong with Clamu?

Joe:
Easy, girl! It's me, Joe! Remember?

[Clamu snarls as if it sounds like a belch and uses her tongue to throw Joe out of Oyster Stadium. Patrick and a nervous SpongeBob wait at the stands]

Patrick:
Now, this is a show!

[Outside...]

Announcer:
Attention, zoo patrons! Clamu, the giant oyster is on an emotional rampage! Please scream and run around in circles. [everybody does that] Thanks for coming.

[In the stadium, Clamu is still smashing things and making snarling belch noises. The zoo worker goes up to SpongeBob and Patrick]

Zoo Worker 1:
You boys better get out of this area, pronto! There's nothing more dangerous than an emotionally disturbed oyster. [points at SpongeBob] You didn't do anything that might have caused this horrible tragedy, did you?!

SpongeBob:
Uh...

Patrick:
No way! Only a jerk would upset a gentle giant. Right, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob:
[hides the peanut bag] Right. [lets out a nervous shriek]

[Clamu chomps on a piece of metal. Cut to Patrick and SpongeBob leaving the zoo]

Patrick:
If I saw that guy, I'd have a few choice words for him. Like "you" and "are", and..."a jerk"!

[A bus pulls over at the Krusty Krab, now the Krusty Plankton. Lily Plankton comes out and meets up with Plankton and Karen.]

Plankton:
Hi, Grandma. Happy birthday.

Karen:
Nice to see you again, Grandma Plankton.

Lily Plankton:
[lifts her glasses] Ugh. Who invited C-Pee-Eww? [laughs]

Karen:
[feels rejected] All right, I tried. [she leaves angrily, running Plankton over]

Plankton:
Owuh! [unsticks his squished body from the road] Let me help you with your bag, Grandma. [gets smacked in the face by Lily's purse] Ouch! [escorts his grandmother into the restaurant] Well, here we are, Grandma. Welcome to the Krusty Plankton. I named it after you.

Lily Plankton:
[pinches Plankton's cheek] Oh, well, aren't you a sweet grandson? [sees SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs] Who are they?

Plankton:
They're just my employees, Grandma. Meet SpongeBob and Eugene.

SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs:
Hello, Grandma Plankton.

Lily Plankton:
They look like very nice boys, and I'll bet they're even nicer when they're working.

Plankton:
You heard Grandma! We ain't running a welcome wagon here! Get back to work!

[SpongeBob runs back and forth until he jumps back into the kitchen.]

Mr. Krabs:
[chuckles] Yeah, sure thing, Plankton. [laughs until Plankton pushes a bucket of cleaning supplies onto Mr. Krabs, making him fall flat on his face on the floor]

Plankton:
[pokes Mr. Krabs' eye] That's Mr. Plankton to you, busboy.

[A crowd of fish is searching for SpongeBob.]

Incidental 37B:
SpongeBob!

Monroe:
Hey SpongeBob!

Fred:
SpongeBob!

SpongeBob:
[hiding behind a rock] If I don't give these feverish favor-seekers the slip, I'll never get to fly with the jellyfish. [quietly flies away]

Monroe:
Hey! There he is! [SpongeBob flies faster] He's getting away!

Fred:
No! He owes us favors!

Monroe:
Get him!

[The angry crowd chases after him, into Downtown Bikini Bottom; while SpongeBob flies past the buildings in a straight line, the crowd runs up and down each building; they stop at a cliff, before Jellyfish Fields; SpongeBob keeps flying.]

SpongeBob:
I'm almost at Jellyfish Fields. I'm gonna make it!

Incidental 41:
He's headed for Jellyfish Fields! We'll never catch him now!

Cannonball Jenkins:
[off-screen] I'll take care of this!

Crowd:
It's Cannonball Jenkins!

Cannonball Jenkins:
[inside a lit cannon, wearing a red helmet and suit; launches out of the cannon and toward SpongeBob; he collides with him, and SpongeBob's inflatable pants explode; the two hurtle toward the ground; SpongeBob falls even further as Cannonball Jenkins opens up a red parachute] I told you nothing good would come from city folk and their flying machines! [the crowd watches as SpongeBob crashes to the ground; they walk over]

Fred:
What have we done? [starts to cry] Come on, everybody! I think a proper burial is in order. [picks up the pants] A pair of pants like these come around... once in a lifetime. [the crowd leaves; SpongeBob, now in his underwear, regains consciousness]

SpongeBob:
Well, it was fun while it lasted. [walks up to Jellyfish Fields, then walks away] I guess I'm not meant to fly after all. [sighs; starts to raise up in the air; a group of jellyfish are below him, carrying him up] Huh? Hey! My jellyfish friends are helping me fly! Without pants! I guess it just goes to show... [the jellyfish carry him back to Bikini Bottom] ♪You don't need a plane to fly♪ [Incidental 41 looks out the window at him] ♪Plastic wings may make you cry♪ [a flock of scallops fly by] ♪Kites are made for windy days. Lawn chair with balloons... fly away♪ [the crowd of fish bury SpongeBob's pants as the mourn over them] ♪Inflatable pants... you may as well skip!♪ [arrives at his home; the jellyfish put him back on the ground] ♪If you want to fly, all you need... is friendship. Yeah.♪ [the jellyfish buzz away; waves] Goodbye, jellies! You taught me a valuable lesson. Although I'm not quite sure what it was.

Patrick:
[walks up] Hey! Let's fly down to the pizza house for a slice.

SpongeBob:
No more flying for me, Patrick. I'll leave that to the jellyfish. [opens his door]

Patrick:
Suit yourself. [lifts up his arm and flies]

SpongeBob:
[turns back around] Did Patrick just...? [laughs] Nah! [enters his house again, but opens the door one last time, just to make sure]

[A little girl is crying about her sand-covered ice cream. SpongeBob takes the ice cream and uses his eyelashes to dust away the sand. When he gives the girl her treat back, it is sparkling clean]

Plankton:
Butterfly kisses! I can't take it! It's too cute! It-it's disgusting!

[A mail truck drives through the mountain range. Patchy is driving the truck. He appears to be parodying S.D. Kluger from the song "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town."]

Patchy the Pirate:
Merry Christmas, kids! I bet you're wondering why ol' Patchy has this mail truck. Well, this year, I wanted to be absolutely sure Santa got me letter, so I gave Mr. Mailman the day off.

[He puts his pirate hat on the mailman tied up and gagged in the back of the truck, puts on his mailman hat and closes the door]

Potty the Parrot:
Do you even know how to get to the North Pole?

Patchy:
Oh, Potty, you silly parrot. Everyone knows that the directions to the North Pole are in the lyrics of the song "Jingle Bells." ♪Dashing through the snow, in a... [Mumbles] Through the fields we go. Fa la la la la.♪ Okay. So we're looking for some fields here.

Potty:
No, Patchy, the directions to the North Pole are in the song, "There Goes Santa Claus." ♪There goes Santa Claus. There goes Santa Claus. Left on Santa Claus Drive.♪ Scurvy brain.

Patchy:
Yeah, well, we ain't turnin' till we see some fields.

Potty:
Look out! There's a fork in the road!

Patchy:
I don't see no fork.

[The truck spins after the fork gets caught in the tire and they both scream.]

Patchy:
While we wait for the truck to stop spinning, let's see what SpongeBob is up to this Christmas.

[After "Santa" Squidward gives away all his possessions]

Squidward:
What was I thinking? I gave away all of my stuff, just so Spongebob wouldn't be sad. Am I insane?

[A knock sounds on the door]

Squidward:
You might as well take the door. That's all that's left.

[After Patrick almost wakes up Sandy]

SpongeBob:
No, Pat! We don't want to disturb her!

Patrick:
That's not disturbing, this is disturbing. [turns around and folds back fat up into a face] Hi, there, SpongeBob. My name is Pat-back.

SpongeBob:
HA! That is really disturbing.

[after Patrick enters Sandy's tree dome for the first time]

Patrick:
[grabs SpongeBob off the door] You're just being shy. [carries SpongeBob to the picnic table] Don't worry, buddy. You're doing fine. [starts getting weak] I won't let you blow... this. [drops SpongeBob and crawls on the floor, panting. He coughs and sputters, then stands up and yells...] What kind of place is this?!

[After Sandy sings a song about returning to her home, Texas]

Patrick:
Do you think she knows the Muffin Man song?

SpongeBob:
Patrick, she sang that song from her heart. She really misses Texas.

Patrick:
Well, let's get some Texas and bring it down here.

SpongeBob:
Patrick, we can't... [comes with an idea] That's it. Patrick, your genius is showing.

Patrick:
[frantically covers himself] Where?!

[After spending a perfect day with "Wormy"]

Patrick:
Gee, SpongeBob, I don't want today to end, ever.

SpongeBob:
I know, Patrick. Days like today come around once, maybe twice in a lifetime.

[After SpongeBob and Patrick crash the Invisible Boat Mobile]

Patrick:
Thank goodness for invisible seat belts!

[After SpongeBob finds out that Plankton used him for his plan]

SpongeBob:
[gasps] "Mega Bucket"?! You used me...for land development! That wasn't nice!

Plankton:
Haven't you figured it out, SpongeBob? Nice guys finish last. Only aggressive people conquer the world! [laughs evilly]

SpongeBob:
Well, what about aggressively nice people?

Plankton:
Huh? What are you doing? [SpongeBob brings out the hot dogs in the hot dog stand, he ate earlier and puts them back where they belong. Then he puts the kites back where they were] Wait, SpongeBob! Stop! [a girl is crying because she has sand on her ice cream. SpongeBob takes it and wipes the sand off with his eyelashes] Butterfly kisses... Can't take it... It's too cute... It's-it's disgusting! [Scooter is crying at his broken surfboard]

SpongeBob:
What happened? [points to surfboard]

Scooter:
I hit a reef with my new board, dude!

SpongeBob:
No problem! [shapeshifts into a surfboard]

Scooter:
Whoa! [grabs the surfboard] Killer!

Plankton:
SpongeBob, stop! Before it's too late! Your kindness is bringing everybody back! [everyone comes back] Get back! Wait! [everyone, on their way back to the beach breaks through the construction barriers, trample and squish Plankton underfoot] Ouch! Ow! Ow! No! Ooh!

Scooter:
[is surfing with SpongeBob] Cowabunga! [he and SpongeBob arrive back to shore] Thanks, dude! That was awesome! [just then, Plankton begins straining and weeping]

SpongeBob:
Gee, Plankton, I'm sorry about the Chum Bucket.

Plankton:
Forget about that. I just can't take so much kindness in one sitting. [bunches up into a ball] NEED... HATRED... [crawls away]

SpongeBob:
Volleyball, anyone? [everyone uses SpongeBob as the ball] Serve up! [laughs] Ouch! [laughs] Ouch! [laughs] Ouch!

[after SpongeBob has destroyed all of Angry Jack's Shell Emporium]

SpongeBob:
Well, look on the bright side. I reduced your inventory for you.

Angry Jack:
Reduced?! You destroyed everything! And now, you're gonna have to pay!

SpongeBob:
Are you really angry, or ya just trying to sound louder?

Angry Jack:
I'M REALLY ANGRY!

Commercial Voice:
Blistering fury!

[After SpongeBob wakes up and notices the damage to the house, thanks to Puffy Fluffy]

SpongeBob:
Hmm, that's interesting. Must have been a sea quake last night. Oh, well, what are you gonna do? [opens the galley door which falls over] That's unusual. WHOA! [sees the library which is a total wreck] My library! [gasps] And my prized memoirs of T.S. Halibut! [gasps] My clothes! [picks up his torn pants] This was no random sea quake. Who could've done this? There was no one here except for... [mistakenly realizes something] ...Gary. I bet he's jealous about the new friend.

[After Squidward has stayed with them for quite a while]

Gary:
[wearily] Meow, meow.

SpongeBob:
I KNOW HE STILL ISN'T LOOKING FOR WORK! DON'T RUB IT IN!!

[After the Anchovies ravaged the Krusty Krab, only to be saved by SpongeBob, who did well with his first job as fry cook]

Mr. Krabs:
That was the finest fast-foodsmanship I've ever seen, Mr. SquarePants. Welcome aboard. [gives SpongeBob a name tag]

Squidward:
B-but, but, Mr. Krabs...

Mr. Krabs:
Three cheers for SpongeBob! Hip-hip!

Squidward:
[weakly] Hooray, Mr.—

Mr. Krabs:
Hip-hip!

Squidward:
[quickly] Hooray.

Mr. Krabs:
Hip-hip!

Squidward:
[quickly] Hooray. Mr. Krabs—

Mr. Krabs:
I'll be in my quarters, counting up the booty. [wheels a wheelbarrow piled with an enormous stack of cash to his office. As he walks towards his office, Patrick enters]

Patrick:
Good morning, Krusty Krew!

Squidward:
What would you like to order, Patrick?

Patrick:
One Krabby Patty, please.

[The instrumental to "Living in the Sunlight, Loving in the Moonlight" starts playing. SpongeBob flies back to the kitchen, using his spatula]

Squidward:
What?

[A score of Krabby Patties is immediately fired through the servery, which Squidward dodges, colliding into Patrick and sending him flying out of the Krusty Krab. Cuts to Krusty Krab exterior; crashing noises.]

Patrick:
[screams]

Squidward:
Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs!! [sarcastically singing] Mr. Krabs, come see your new employee!

Tiny Tim:
[at the same time as Squidward] ♪ I'm right here to stay when I'm old and gray, I'll be right in my prime. Living in the sunlight, loving in the moonlight, having a wonderful time! ♪

[The final instrumental of Tiny Tim's "Livin' in the Sunlight" plays (xylophone solo, followed by a timpani beat and a final note), and the further sounds of shooting Krabby Patties and smashed glass play at the same time, ending the first episode]

[After they crash into "land"]

Mr. Krabs:
Status report, Mr. SquarePants.

SpongeBob:
The whole ship is underwater, Captain!

[An exhausted SpongeBob walks up to the front door of his house.]

SpongeBob:
[sighs and looks at his watch] Well, I may have missed the live broadcast, but at least I got it all on tape. Here I come, "Mermaid Man!" [tries to open the door but it's locked] Oh. [tries to pull it open but to no avail; he checks his pockets] Where'd I put my keys? [peaks through the window] Did I leave them on the table again? [sees his VCR going haywire and it spits out the tape's film] No, my tape! [the ice block explodes and soda flies everywhere] My soda! [the popcorn machine explodes] My popcorn! [sees everything a complete mess] My "Mermaid Man!" [the house bursts into flames and he screams]

[Gary gets shot out of the house on a flying soda bottle. SpongeBob goes to catch Gary, but he lands on his face.]

Gary:
Meow. [slithers off of SpongeBob]

[SpongeBob, completely shocked at what happened, starts feeling really sad and begins to cry. His crying is so loud that it is heard all across Bikini Bottom, which results in waking up the townsfolk. Moments later, Squidward, Patrick, Sandy, Larry, Mr. Krabs, Plankton and Mrs. Puff arrive to see what was the matter.]

Sandy:
Hey there, SpongeBob. Why all the waterworks?

SpongeBob:
[sniffles and wipes his tears with his nose like a windshield wiper] I was so busy helping everyone that I missed "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy" and my VCR didn't record it and now I'll never see it and my life has no meaning!

[SpongeBob sulks away from his friends and goes back into his burning house crying hysterically, now that his chances of seeing the long-lost episode of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy has been shattered. All of SpongeBob's friends including Squidward look on at him with sad faces and realized what they had done:
they took his kindness for granted and inexplicably ruined his chances of seeing the episode he's been looking forward to watching.]

[As SpongeBob actually makes it to the Krusty Krab on time as he is sleeping at the same time]

Mr. Krabs:
Right on time! [turns to another sponge named SpongeTom while Squidward groans in defeat] Looks like I won't be needing you after all, SpongeTom.

SpongeTom:
[throws his spatula onto the ground] D'oh! [stomps away]

[SpongeBob rolls into the restaurant and crashes into the register boat. SpongeBob flies into the kitchen and kicks a plank, knocking over a barrel.]

SpongeBob:
[half awake] Good morning...

[As SpongeBob and Patrick watch the scallop fly away]

SpongeBob:
Well, Patrick, he doesn't need us anymore.

Patrick:
This is the hardest part of every parent's life, I assume.

SpongeBob:
Despite all we've been through, it was worth it.

Patrick:
Yeah... Let's have another!

[SpongeBob looks alarmed]

[As SpongeBob's walking down the street]

SpongeBob:
I'm on patrol, I'm on patrol, I'm on patroooll. [stops as he sees puddle of ice cream on the ground] Vandals! Another crime. [scoops up a glob of ice cream with his finger and tastes it] Hmmm...strawberry. I must act! [ice cream falls on his head. Patrick is sitting on the wall above him eating ice cream] Patrick! [Patrick looks around confused] Patrick! [He then looks at his ice cream] Patrick!

Patrick:
My ice cream! It's alive! AAAAHHHHHHH! [drops ice cream onto SpongeBob's face]

SpongeBob:
Patrick! Down here!

Patrick:
Oh! SpongeBob! It's you!

SpongeBob:
Patrick! Get down here now!

[Patrick jumps down and flattens SpongeBob.].

Patrick:
SpongeBob? SpongeBob?

SpongeBob:
(mumbling) I'm down here.

[Patrick walks off of SpongeBob then picks him up and sees him wearing the Hall Monitor uniform.]

Patrick:
You look funny! [laughs as he peels SpongeBob off]] Hi, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob:
That's "Hall Monitor" to you!

[Patrick drops SpongeBob.]]

Patrick:
Sorry, officer!

SpongeBob:
Sorry is not good enough, Patrick. You've just committed a crime, and I'm taking you in!

Patrick:
What crime? [SpongeBob gestures toward the ice cream on the ground]] I'm a bad person! [starts crying]

[at the beginning of SpongeBob's 38th boating test]

Mrs. Puff:
First we must--

SpongeBob:
First I must pass the oral exam! I am confident in my abilities to successfully succeed.

Mrs. Puff:
I know. Okay. Number one, what is the front of the boat?

SpongeBob:
The bow.

Mrs. Puff:
What is the back?

SpongeBob:
Stern!

Mrs. Puff:
Number three. Right is--

SpongeBob:
Starboard! [answering the remaining questions] Port, skipper, deck, cabin, gally, keel, 1924!

Mrs. Puff:
You've passed the oral test. What a surprise. Now, it's time to once again take the driving portion of the exam. Okay, SpongeBob...get in the boat.

SpongeBob:
Oh, wha...in this boat? Right here? [looks at watch nervously] Is it time already?

Mrs. Puff:
Get in the boat, SpongeBob!

SpongeBob:
Oh, yeah, absolutely. [gets into boat and closes eyes with a smile, confidently]

Mrs. Puff:
All you have to do is get on the track. [SpongeBob's eyes spring open in awe as he looks down the track which becomes longer and longer in delusion] Okay, SpongeBob. What's the first thing you do?

SpongeBob:
1924?

Mrs. Puff:
No...no. First thing is to...start the boat. [Mrs. Puff turns it on as SpongeBob begins to shake and scream hysterically] SpongeBob! SpongeBob! Relax! It's only the boat.

SpongeBob:
[stops] The boat?

Mrs. Puff:
Okay, now, what do you do next?

SpongeBob:
Floor it?

Mrs. Puff:
Yes-- no! No! Don't floor it!

SpongeBob:
Floor it?!

Mrs. Puff:
No, no, don't, don't floor it!

SpongeBob:
Okay, floor it! [kicks down on the gas pedal as the boat begins to go in reverse at high speeds, Mrs. Puff and SpongeBob screaming, "no, no, no!" and "floor it!" respectively. The boat crashes into a lighthouse, breaking off the upper half of it. Mrs. Puff puffs up]

Mrs. Puff:
[deep voice] Oh, SpongeBob...WHYYYYYY?????!!!!!

Off-Screen Fish:
My leg!

[at the beginning of SpongeBob's 39th boating test]

Patrick:
[through radio] Pat to Sponge. Pat to Sponge. Testing, testing. Testing, testing, testing, testing... TESTING! TEST! TEST! DO YOU READ?!

SpongeBob:
Sponge to Pat, I read you loud and clear.

Patrick:
Got your apple ready? [SpongeBob takes out apple] Lucky undergarments? [adjusting telescope] Hold on, hold on. [sees SpongeBob wearing underpants that say "LUCKY"] Bingo! Underwear, Apple, and Me! You're ready to get that license!

[at the gated borders of Tentacle Acres]

SpongeBob:
Here it is, Patrick. Now we've just got to convince Squidward to come back home. You got our apology cake?

[Patrick picks up a cake that reads, 'Sorry.' He puts it back in his pants, revealing a giant cake-shaped bulge in them]

SpongeBob:
We're ready!

Patrick:
Ying. [SpongeBob pushes the button on the intercom]

Guard:
Hello, can I help you?

Patrick:
[thinking it's a restaurant intercom] Can I get a large #1, extra size?

SpongeBob:
But ya just ate three orders of fried oyster skins!

Patrick:
[unleashing a noxious gas cloud as he says this] I love fried oyster skins.

[cut to inside the control room, where the guard sees SpongeBob and Patrick on one of his monitors]

Guard:
We're sorry, but your kind isn't allowed here. [a security guard walks up next to him] He's not leaving, Orville. You got your night stick ready? [the two smell Patrick's breath cloud as it wafts in through the speaker] FRIED OYSTER SKINS?! Ooooohhhhh... [the two collapse, the first guard falling on a button opening the gate]

Patrick:
I guess we gotta order inside.