Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #135

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 6,940 quotes total — keep up the great work!

[Baby Cakes crashes his own house]

Baby Cakes:
Motherf***ers! Oh, what's up, Dr. Falgot?

Dr. Falgot:
Baby Cakes, what the hell?!

Baby Cakes:
Hey, we're the same! See my badge? Total Validation said I'm more right than Dad!

Dr. Falgot:
Wait, that can't be right 'cause you're an awful pig boy.

Baby Cakes:
Exactly!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 6 months ago

Derrick:
Okay, Leonard, your turn. Imagine your son tells you that he wants to burn your face with acid. What do you say?

Professor Cakes:
Uh, what do I say? I say -- I say, "Go right ahead because you're my son, and I must love you unconditionally".

Derrick:
[loved] Oh, are you just telling me what I want to hear?

Professor Cakes:
Hey, Derrick, do me a favor. Go f*** yourself.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 6 months ago

Matt Attack:
So, you mean every guy doesn't have to buy everything their girls want? Just me in my specific relationship with Kim?

Mohawk Guy:
Uh-huh, precisely, Matt.

Matt Attack:
See? Right there, that is crazy, y'all! Y'all can't see that that's crazy?!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 6 months ago

[Frank and Pony sees Steve's car at a Miata Chop Shop]

Frank Smith:
Panty sniffin'! [laughs] Say, do you happen to know a guy named Miata Mike?

Car Engineer Guy:
MIKE! Two girls are here to see you, man!

Pony:
Listen, Mike...

Miata Mike:
Uh, ba-ba-ba. It's Miata Mike.

Pony:
Miata Mike. What would it take, nonsexual, to get the car back?

Miata Mike:
Hmm, $5,000.

Frank Smith:
F*** no! I don't have $5,000! We need to be at the lake f***ing immediately! Okay...$150. W-What would that get us?

Miata Mike:
For $150, I'll give you a ride, but I keep the car.

Frank Smith:
That's f***ing weird.

Miata Mike:
What can I say? I'm Miata Mike.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 6 months ago

[Steve and Kally's Family gets into an argument about Toy Movie 3]

Kally's Dad:
YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND UNIVERSAL THEMES!

Steve Smith:
[grunts]

Kally:
It's a sweet, sweet movie!

Steve Smith:
No, no, that movie is about a kid's unhealthy relationship with some objects!

Kally's Dad:
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Steve Smith:
It'd be different if he knew that those objects loved him, but he doesn't!

Kally's Dad:
No! Oh, please!

Steve Smith:
And that kid is not ready for college, by the way!

Kally's Dad:
No, don't you see?! It's sublime!

Steve Smith:
No!

Kally's Dad:
It's for everyone, but it's also for really wise people!

Steve Smith:
Oh, no, it is for people who are pro-slavery!

Kally:
WHAT?! PRO-SLAVERY?!

Kally's Dad:
ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME?!

Steve Smith:
Yes, it's about property that should be so devoted to the master...

Kally's Dad:
No!

Kally:
No, shut up!

Steve Smith:
...that they'll do anything to get back to him so that he can use them again.

Kally's Dad:
Ah, Steve!

Kally:
Stop it!

Steve Smith:
They are party slaves, and he doesn't even know they have feelings!

Kally's Dad:
YOU FOOL, IT'S ABOUT GOD AND DEATH!

Steve Smith:
No, no, no!

Kally's Dad:
IT'S ABOUT EVRYTHING!

Kally:
It has heart!

Steve Smith:
[groans loudly]

Kally:
Where's your heart?

Steve Smith:
Oh, my god, KALLY!

Kally's Dad:
I CRIED! BUT I CRIED SO F***ING HARD!

Steve Smith:
Come on, Bob!

Kally's Dad:
AND YOU ARE A F***ING MONSTER!

Steve Smith:
AND YOU ARE PRO-HOARDING!

Kally's Dad:
I HATE YOU!

Kally:
He didn't even like the ending, Dad!

Kally's Dad:
OH, HOW?!

Steve Smith:
KALLY!

Kally's Dad:
THEY WERE ALL CRYING ABOUT DYING!

Steve Smith:
[scoffs]

Kally's Dad:
Alright, okay, you tell me, what is a good movie?!

Steve Smith:
I don't know -- "Last Tango In Paris".

Kally's Dad:
WHAT?! THEY USE BUTTER AS ANAL LUBE IN THAT FILM!

Steve Smith:
It's a classic movie about adults doing what adults do.

Kally:
Oh, you're a f***ing pervert!

Steve Smith:
I'M A F***ING ADULT!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 6 months ago

Derrick:
So, before we get started, is there anything you need to confess?

Baby Cakes:
I'm Batman.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 6 months ago

Derrick:
Oh, hi. Welcome to Total Validation. Sit here, and let's discuss your present disagreement, shall we?

Baby Cakes:
He doesn't accept me for who I am.

Professor Cakes:
Who he is is a monster that no father could possibly live with.

Baby Cakes:
Man, all my friends' dads let them do what they want.

Professor Cakes:
Yes, and that is because they're functioning adults. They live by themselves. They have JOBS! I keep you alive, idiot!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 6 months ago

Kim:
Okay, now, even if I'm proven to be right, I do not want it to ruin how he currently has sex with me.

Goatee Doctor:
Oh, don't worry -- The party in the wrong would be even more wrong to disagree with us.

Matt Attack:
See? That right there is fascist, man!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 6 months ago

Kally's Dad:
Oh, has anyone seen that "Toy Movie 3"?

Steve Smith:
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I saw that.

Kally's Dad:
Well, what'd you think?

Steve Smith:
I mean, it was pretty good, but you know what is really good? This butternut squash. Brenda, you are amazing.

Kally's Dad:
I must say, Steven, "Toy Movie 3" wasn't just pretty good".

Steve Smith:
Hey, you loved it. That's great. It just wasn't my thing.

Kally:
Well, it seems a lot of people with taste seem to think it was important.

Steve Smith:
[locked in] Okay, you want to do this? Oh, yeah, let's do this.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 6 months ago

[Frank destroys the security camera on street when Frank and Pony were having fun while driving the car]

Frank Smith:
Agh, this is a camera, right?! Where's the f***ing film?!

Pony:
It's a digital feed! Frank, you dragged me down to your level again!

Frank Smith:
No, we are exactly the same level!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 6 months ago

Frank Smith:
Hey, what do you think Steve thought I was gonna do wrong? He's always judging me.

Pony:
I know, right? [imitates] "I'm Steve, and I'm the Dad".

Frank Smith:
[laughing]

Pony:
[imitates] "Little dog, do this. Pony girl, stop laughing".

Frank & Pony:
[both laugh]

Frank Smith:
Yeah! Hey, listen. [imitates] "I am Steve!" [laughs] I can't really do it, but you know he sucks.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 6 months ago

Steve Smith:
Okay, look, it's been an hour since the movie.

Kally:
It affected me deeply. It didn't do that to you?

Steve Smith:
It's just that everybody says this is the best of the year, and for me, that's a pretty --

Kally:
Oh, you're just a cynic!

Steve Smith:
Alright, watch this, watch this. Um, hey, Matt, have you seen "Toy Movie 3"?

Matt Attack:
Oh...my...god. That's the best movie I've ever seen.

Steve Smith:
Kally, can we just stop talking about this?

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 6 months ago

Professor Cakes:
Uh, son, you're 30. I-I-I know that without a steady woman in the house, we both act juvenile, but it's --

Baby Cakes:
STREET TROLLS! Oh, they -- They make so mad!

Professor Cakes:
That -- Oh, that actually reminds me. Did you make your bed? You know how you get when you find it...unmade.

Baby Cakes:
Man, just quit picking on me! [jumps out of the car] GERONIMO-MO-MO-MO-MO!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 6 months ago

Pony:
No, please just use your own computer for that. I don't want your fingers on your stuff and then on my keyboard.

Frank Smith:
I touch everything! Everything is one degree away from my Kevin Bacon.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 6 months ago

[as Professor Cakes grabs the newspaper outside, Baby Cakes closes the door in front of him]

Professor Cakes:
Jerk! I don't have my key! Let me in!

Baby Cakes:
[drunk] Well, I got like five keys in here! So you do the meth!

Professor Cakes:
It's not meth. It's math, and that doesn't even -- I can't take this!

Baby Cakes:
[drunk] You got to take it! I'm your son!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 6 months ago

[Baby Cakes mixed syrup and whisky in a oatmeal to a Canada Cake]

Professor Cakes:
No! No Canada Cakes! You're already an insane person, but -- But that stuff makes you impossible to deal with!

Baby Cakes:
Nuh-uh! It gets me wise!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 6 months ago

[Flip Flop's sister throws newspaper]

Flip Flop:
Sis, you're throwing them all wrong.

Flip Flop's Sister:
Bro, just drive the f***ing truck!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 6 months ago

Golden Bowl:
I, uh, [sniffs] I can't believe it. There actually are good people, in China, Illinois, and they inspire me to try to be better, nicer. These people are actually worthy to be called "Persons of The Day" due to their undying love for one another.

Pony:
[grabs the mic away from Golden] We are not in love. I am single and looking for casual hook-ups.

Steve Smith:
For the record, I did not save this girl out of love. I would have done the same thing for a hideous, mean, old hag.

Golden Bowl:
Come on. [chuckles] It's just so cute how much they deny it.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 6 months ago

[while Baby Cakes still shakes Pony, Steve saves the day]

Steve Smith:
WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU, MAN?!

Baby Cakes:
I DON'T KNOW, STEVE! DAD GAVE ME A MAGAZINE! IT HAD BOOOBS ON IT! AND NOW I GOT TO SH-SHAKE STUFF!

Steve Smith:
Oh, I get it. Baby Cakes, sometimes when a man has feelings for a woman...

Baby Cakes:
I DON'T UNDERSTAND! [shakes Pony even faster]

Steve Smith:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey! Have you touched your penis?

Baby Cakes:
WHAT -- NO!

Steve Smith:
Shake your penis instead of shaking her!

[Baby Cakes drops Pony and shake his hand with his penis instead]

Baby Cakes:
Ohh! Ohh! Ohh, this -- I never put it together! This -- Oh, this feels right! Steve, you're such a good teacher!

Professor Cakes:
[sees his own son spurting on TV] Oh, yeah, that's right. I forgot to tell him to jack off with the magazine. You know, there's no room for error with this kid.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 6 months ago

[as the police officers caught China-Man, they pulled his mask off revealing the man in the suit, Frank]

Blue Hoodie Guy:
IT'S THE MASSEUSE!

Frank Smith:
HEY! There were a lot of other skills on that car! Why did you all get stuck on the Masseuse thing?!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 6 months ago

[Baby Cakes shakes Pony while climbing up a building]

Baby Cakes:
This feels right for some reason!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 6 months ago

Frank Smith:
You got to let me in there! He's been my nemesis since we were kids!

Black Police Officer:
No dice, China-Man. We're going to arrest you instead so you don't feed any more fathers to tigers.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 6 months ago

[while Steve and Pony are still acting to make the people believe they aren't in love]

Steve Smith:
THIS BITCH HAS DRIVEN ME TO KILL HER. AFTERWARDS, I'LL BE GETTING A DRINK, IF ANY GIRL WANTS TO HANG OUT.

Cap Guy:
Somebody get these people separated!

Weneloquence:
Break it up before something bad happens!

Steve Smith:
[whispered to Pony] Hey, I think it's working.

Pony:
Great. Now let's just let 'em take us to jail and we're home free.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 6 months ago

[Baby Cakes turns into a raging monster while looking at Pony's breasts on TV]

Baby Cakes:
MUST...SHAKE...WOMAN!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 6 months ago

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