Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #183

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 5,772 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Satan:
Behold. "The Bad Book" is back.

Claude:
So, we're trotting out the Necronomicon again.

Satan:
No, Claude. This is the New-Cronomicon. What I did is is spiced up the ancient text a little bit, and, I, uh -- I added a teenage-romance angle, and then I just sprinkled in some werewolves, some vampires. It's --

Claude:
So, is it available on iPad and Kindle?

Satan:
No, just flesh.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 10 months ago

Satan:
Big N' Wide! Need you down at publishing asap. Having a book drive.

Satan:
Shane, Leo, you're booked, too.

Big N' Wide:
Aw, sh*t.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 10 months ago

[Joanna came back to bring Claude back to hell again]

Joanna:
Claude, honey! Where are you, babe?

Claude:
Oh, crap.

Satan:
Oh, looks like true love has found you again, Claude.

Joanna:
Oh, I see your ass under that table. Get up here!

Claude:
I think we need some time apart!

Joanna:
I SWAM THROUGH A RIVER OF SH*T FOR YOU!

Gary Bunda:
Joanna! Joanna! I'm over here! I love you!

Claude:
Yeah, he's great!

Joanna:
No! True love is forever Claude!

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 10 months ago

Claude:
Satan, let me just start off by saying I am so sorry, okay?

Satan:
You know, I was really pulling for you guys, Claude.

Claude:
I had no say in the matter. You know I would never do anything to hurt you.

Satan:
No, I know. 'Cause she made you flip me off and say "See ya, dicks".

Claude:
She made me say "See ya, dicks".

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 10 months ago

Joanna:
After this, you are gonna get hard and give me a baby.

Claude:
I'm just gonna turn up the volume on the tv so we can hear all the spots where we're supposed to laugh.

Joanna:
Wait, but, sweetie, I have the remote right here.

[Claude smashes through window killing himself to get back to his headquarters]

Joanna:
GET BACK HERE!

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 10 months ago

Joanna:
Hello, my love. How was your day?

Claude:
Help.

Joanna:
Help you? I'm the one who needs help with all those groceries, you silly lazy bones.

Joanna:
[serious tone] Uh-oh. Looks like somebody had an accident.

[cuts to the next scene Claude is trapped in an animal cage as a slave]

Claude:
[sobbing] YOU WE'RE GONE SO LONG! I COULDN'T HOLD IT IN!

Joanna:
[uses bottle spray on Claude] You shut up! You shut up!

Claude:
OW! IT BURNS!

Joanna:
Do you wanna watch "How I Met Your Mother"?

Claude:
YES, DEAR!

Joanna:
Do you even play with your toys? I bought you those toys, and you don't even play with them!

Claude:
[sobbing] I'M PLAYING WITH IT! I'M PLAYING WITH IT!

Joanna:
You don't appreciate anything I do for you!

Claude:
[sobbing] I love you.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 10 months ago

Satan:
I told that bat you better eat your Wheaties this week. Oh, and I have a live video feed from that tree in Germany.

[sees the video of the troll sleeping with tranquilizer darts]

Satan:
Oh, boy. Doesn't look like the troll's been too busy, huh? Taking a little nap.

Claude:
Or...he was drugged.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 10 months ago

Gary Bunda:
Mom, I got you an oven mitt, I got you a knife, I got you a snorkel for the river of vomit, I got you nunchucks for the troll, and I got you this cool karate stick.

Geoff:
It's a Kabotu war staff, and it's mine. Mom is at church. She asked me to come talk to you.

Gary Bunda:
Geoff, this has nothing to do with you, man.

Geoff:
You asked a 70-year-old woman to dig into hell...

Gary Bunda:
Yeah.

Geoff:
...to fight a troll. If she falls again, we could be talking hospice.

[Gary ran out of time to find love and sinks down back to hell]

Gary Bunda:
Wait, wait, wait. What about a brother's love, Geoff?

Geoff:
It's step-brother. What's happening to your legs?

Gary Bunda:
Nothing, nothing. No big deal. I love you.

Geoff:
Look, you're a neat guy, Gary.

Gary Bunda:
I'm taking your stupid bow staff, it's a curtain rod. You suck, Geoff!

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 10 months ago

[Claude pretends by using Eddie to grab him inside the Hellmouth, making a dramatic sequence to her wife, Joanna]

Claude:
Oh, it's pulling. I love you! Ohh!

Joanna:
Oh, god, no!

Claude:
[weakly] Aah!

Claude:
Tranquilizer darts. For the troll. Just in case you decide to. No pressure, but...

[Claude gets back to the pretending]

Claude:
Aah! The fire burns through my heart!

Eddie:
I'm dragging you to hell!

Joanna:
Oh, Claude! [sobbing]

Claude:
That was great, Eddie!

Eddie:
I felt good! I think the roars really sold it.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 10 months ago

Claude:
Joanna. I have to go, but I...love you.

Joanna:
Oh!

Claude:
And I would walk 500 miles for your weird body.

Claude:
But Hell's even further away than that, baby.

Joanna:
Wait. But you said there's a tree in Germany, and I have -- True love comes to get you out...

Claude:
Don't try to come after me. It's too damn dangerous. But at the same time, the troll you'd have to attack is very easily defeatable. It's very old.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 10 months ago

Gary Bunda:
Okay, Mom, one more time -- There's a tree stump in Germany.

Gary's Mom:
In Europe.

Gary Bunda:
Yeah. Yes. Yes. 'Cause Germany is in Europe. You remember!

Gary Bunda:
And you have to get to this tree stump, and it is guarded by a very aggressive troll.

Gary's Mom:
Do I have to drive on the wrong side of the road?

Gary Bunda:
Yes. Yes! Yes! Of course you will. Yes!

Gary Bunda:
What are you doing?

Gary's Mom:
I e-mailed Father Benson, and...and he said this was not a good idea to go to hell.

Gary Bunda:
Why did you do that? That's a surprise.

Gary's Mom:
You could be the devil now.

Gary Bunda:
Down there, Mom, they make a knife come alive, and it crawls up inside of me, alright? For days. And it goes in and out, in and out, okay? But your love will get me out of there. [smooches Gary's Mom's hand]

Gary's Mom:
Okay, dear.

Gary Bunda:
Yeah! Gary! Alright. Come on! Let's do this! We got to get you a gun.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 10 months ago

Gary Bunda:
It's not a physical thing with me, you know? It's emotional. I'm listening to you. I'm interested! I'm interested in you! I want to know -- Hey, I want to know --

Bar Woman:
I have a rape whistle.

Gary Bunda:
Well, I have a whole rape guitar at my apartment.

Bar Woman:
I don't put tater tots in my ears, and I'm not a lesbian.

[Gary sees a reflection of himself as a woman disguised by using a scarf]

Gary Bunda:
I thought it was a man scarf! Men are wearing scarves now!

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 10 months ago

[Joanna tries to get dirty with Claude]

Claude:
No. No, leave it. Leave it.

Joanna:
No, no. Take your shirt off. Get dirty. Get dirty.

[Joanna takes off Claude's shirt which reveal Claude's former self as a devil]

Claude:
Okay, now, there's something I should tell you.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 10 months ago

[Gary Bunda tries attract a woman by using Greg's hat to blend in but failed miserably]

Gary Bunda (as Greg):
Hey. What's up?

Bar Woman #2:
Hey.

Gary Bunda (as Greg):
Your breath stinks like shit.

Gary Bunda (as Greg):
Yeah. And you got orange teeth like you've been chewing on those cut-rate corn chips, huh? What, are you too poor to afford the good ones?

Bar Woman #2:
Oh f*** you. [slaps Gary]

Greg:
What did my twin brother just tell you? He is so rude. Let me get you away from this man.

Gary Bunda (as Greg):
You made me insult a woman.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 10 months ago

Greg:
I want you to go over there and crush her self-esteem so she feels like garbage, and then she'll think you're the champ.

Gary Bunda:
Yeah.

Greg:
You got your peacock on?

Gary Bunda:
Yeah! Um...I was gonna do, um...I'm Tater-Tots-In-My-Ears guy.

Greg:
No.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 10 months ago

Gary Bunda:
[to Eddie] Okay, listen, alright? You're talking too much about yourself. Ask her questions about herself.

Gary Bunda:
Hey, lady, you want some tater tots?

Bar Woman:
Alright. Okay.

[The Bar Woman leaves]

Gary Bunda:
See?

Eddie:
Don't.

Gary Bunda:
She said no.

Eddie:
What are you doing?

Gary Bunda:
But I learned something about her.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 10 months ago

Eddie:
There, uh...there aren't many, uh, women where I'm from.

Bar Woman:
Oh, that's weird.

Eddie:
[chuckles] What do you do?

Bar Woman:
Um, retail.

Eddie:
Oh, You know who's got a tail?

Bar Woman:
No.

Eddie:
[whines] The Devil!

Gary Bunda:
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

Eddie:
I'm from hell. I'm doing very good, okay?

Gary Bunda:
No, you're not. I can see from across the room.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 10 months ago

Claude:
I remember a lot of things about that night, and...I'd like them not to be memories anymore. I'd like them to be present-tense happenings.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 10 months ago

Claude:
Hey. How's it going, Joanne?

Joanna:
A -- Joanna.

Claude:
Joanna. That's what I said. Remember me?

Joanna:
Yeah, Claude, I-I remember.

Claude:
You don't have a limp, do you?

Joanna:
You got all those those texts I sent from the hospital, right?

Claude:
My phone had a virus. Malware. But I tried to send you texts for the last eight years, Joanna.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 10 months ago

[Gary uses one of Greg's supplies to disguise himself for true love]

Gary Bunda:
Okay, am I handsome? Am I handsome? How do I look?

[Gary turns into a kid]

Benji:
Hey, partner. I got some pogs here in my pocket. You guys still like pogs?

Gary Bunda (as kid):
Gross, Benji! It's Gary!

Benji:
Oh, sorry, Gary. Didn't know you were in there. [chuckles] I just was feeling a connection.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 10 months ago

[Joanna tries to kill herself by falling off her window]

Claude:
Oh. Are you -- Are you okay?

Joanna:
[groans]

Claude:
You're good. She's good.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 10 months ago

Joanna:
Want to go get breakfast or something?

Claude:
Uh...

Joanna:
Wait, did you just look at her?

Claude:
Who?

Joanna:
Oh, you think she's prettier than me.

Claude:
There's literally no one here.

Joanna:
WAS I JUST A ONE-NIGHT STAND TO YOU?!

Claude:
What? We didn't even hook up!

Joanna:
I'M KILLING MYSELF BECAUSE I TRULY LOVE YOU!

Claude:
No. Don't do that, Joanne.

Joanna:
JOANNA!

Claude:
I-I was gonna say that. You cut me off. That's rude on your part. I know I might be wrong to leave, but that's rude.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 10 months ago

Joanna:
Where are you going?

Claude:
Oh, um, hey, did you see my other penny loafer up there?

Joanna:
I hid it in the ceiling so you wouldn't leave without saying goodbye.

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 10 months ago

Satan:
You pathetic sh*ts actually think that there's someone up there that loves you, truly loves you? Alright.

Satan:
I'm gonna give you assholes 48 hours at the surface.

Gary Bunda:
Yeah! Go to the top.

Satan:
See how much true love there is for you up there. Go find it!

Gary Bunda:
Gentleman's weekend in Thailand!

Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell  Movie Quote

added 10 months ago

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