Gary Bunda:
Why are you like God's lackey? You rebelled from heaven and then God said, "Someone needs to go and make hell and punish all the sinners", and you were like "Yes, Massa".
Satan:
No, you are wrong...Gary. This is all by choice.
Gary bunda:
So you choose to live by a lake of diarrhea. If you wanted to really get back at God, you should make hell better than heaven.
[Satan thinks about it, and made it official]
Satan:
Today is a new day. Ladies and gentlemen, from this day forward, there will be no more fire, lava, and sulfur.
All:
[cheering]
Satan:
No more whips and ball clamps and suffering!
All:
Oh, yeah!
Satan:
And it's all because this one little demon had the courage to show me the light. Gary!
[while Gary was playing his ukulele singing Paradise, turns out this was all just in Gary's head imagining what Hell would look like as Heaven, while still having milk and honey in the process]
Troy:
Just open your legs. Open your legs!
Satan:
[on phone with Sophia] We're doing the boat torture, but he doesn't really seem to be suffering.
Sophia:
Are insects eating him? And is his belly fully distended?
Satan:
Yes, except he seems to really enjoy septic shock hallucinations.
Troy:
[to Gary] Stop, stop, STOP! We're gonna tip!
Sophia:
In that case, you may want to add an additional torture. Have you tried ball clamps?
Satan:
If I needed ball clamps, lady, why the hell did I buy your boats? You know what? No, thank you very much. I'm gonna be contesting these charges with the bank.
Troy:
[to Gary] Stop splashing your sh*t up on me, man!
Satan:
Troy. She says to use a ball clamp.
Troy:
We don't have any ball clamps, sir!
Satan:
Yeah, well, whose fault is that? Just use your fingernails on his nut sack.
