Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #38

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104 — There are currently 5,716 quotes total — keep up the great work!

[when Drinky Crow and Elephant Man were about to commit suicide] Drinky Crow: Gabby! What are you doing here? Uncle Gabby: I came to take Elephant Man to the senior prom. You're not the only one of us with stuff to do other than hang out with the other one. With the Elephant Man! Drinky Crow: He can't hang out with you! He's going to commit suicide with me! Uncle Gabby: Oh yeah? Tell him, Elephant Man. Elephant Man: Uh... Drinky Crow: Elephant Man? Elephant Man: Yeah...I might be going to the prom with Gabby. Drinky Crow: But you have to be ALIVE to do that! Elephant Man: He says if I don't get lucky with the girls he'll let me go with his sister. We're both virgins. Drinky Crow: Gabby's sister isn't a virgin. I've had sex with her for a coconut and a little piece of sparkly string! Everybody has! – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Uncle Gabby: Hey, Elephant Man. I'm your new best friend. Elephant Man: You want to be my friend too? Uncle Gabby: You bet those hideous [indistinct] I do. Let's go party! Elephant Man: I can't. I promised Drinky Crow we'd do suicide stuff. Uncle Gabby: Before you kill yourself you've gotta have fun. Just like before you leave a buffet you have to open your pants, stuff yourself, and ruin what remains! Elephant Man: You do? Uncle Gabby: Yes. And I'm funner than Drinky Crow and better than Drinky Crow and what's more I'm not a backstabbing little disloyal weasel like Drinky Crow. Heh heh. Alright, whaddaya say? Let's go find girls. Elephant Man: Girls? Really? I'll just tell my Mom. Mom! I'm going out to meet girls! WITH A BABOON! – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Uncle Gabby: Hey Crow. It's Sunday. If we convert to Catholicism in the next half hour we can go to mass and get bombed on communion wine! Drinky Crow: I'd love to, but me and Elephant Man are seeing an attorney to draw up do-not-resuscitate orders. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Elephant Man: So Drinky Crow, I'm really stoked about this suicide thing. But what if I get scared and back out? Drinky Crow: Let's sign a suicide pact. Then we can shop for matching guns! – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Drinky Crow: I hope it's okay I invited a friend. He's really fun. [Elephant Man arrives] Uncle Gabby: Hey! What'll it be? Elephant Man: I don't drink. Uncle Gabby: [whispered to Drinky] I thought you said this guy was fun. Elephant Man: So Uncle Gabby, how are you planning to kill yourself? Uncle Gabby: I'm not gonna kill myself! Elephant Man: [whispered to Drinky] I thought you said this guy was fun. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Drinky Crow: [on phone] Hi. My name is Drinky Crow and I want to commit suicide. Elephant Man: Folks call me the Elephant Man because of my huge fibroid growths. If I don't want to commit suicide why should you? Drinky Crow: Wait a second -- Are you trying to talk me out of suicide? Elephant Man: Yes. I am. This is a Suicide Hotline. Drinky Crow: When I call a hot, foot-fetishist chat line I don't expect to be talked out of my foot fetish! Elephant Man: Sorry. Why do you want to kill yourself? [Drinky sees an oyster coming to burn Drinky and Gabby] Drinky Crow: Well, right now it looks like if I don't I'll be burned to death. Elephant Man: Hmm. That is a good reason. Do you have a gun? Drinky Crow: [while point the gun into his mouth] Uh-huh. [Drinky shoots himself while the bullet also shoots the oyster that was trying to kill Gabby] – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Drinky Crow: [on phone] Hello Suicide Hotline? My girlfriend left me and I want to kill myself. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Captain's Daughter: Hey! How come you're not giving us expensive gems? Uncle Gabby: How come you don't look like that?! [points to the billboard with the sexy lady on it] – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
[while Phoebe Bird have dinner with Sam Walrus] Phoebe: I'm afraid Drinky Crow is never going to be ready to move on to a new relationship. I feel so sorry for him. [Phoebe then sees a fabulous girl airplane with Drinky piloting on it] Phoebe: [to Sam] Was that, Drinky Crow? – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Marcus: I want to make an announcement. My very special lady who I'm giving my heart to made me worry this morning. I thought I saw her doing something with another guy. But my fears were unfounded. She was only killing a talking monkey. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
[when Kathy's boyfriend finds a monkey in the tub] Uncle Gabby: [crying] I thought I was gonna have sex! – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
[while Orkney's Son tries to finish the mission from his Dad changing his mind about not killing Mud God] Orkney Islander Shaman: Maybe there is no Mud God! Maybe we just believe in him so we'll have a reason to think it's okay that we live in a crappy ice field! – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
[meanwhile Drinky Crow saves Uncle Gabby while being on a fabulous girl car made out of gymnastic women] Cindy: We like it when you ride us, Drinky Crow. Drinky Crow: You're not supposed to be enjoying this! This is purely transportation! Cindy: I like it when you talk mean. Drinky Crow: STOP LIKING THINGS! – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Kathy: If only my parents knew what I was about to do. Little Kathy purebred is capable of a lot more than they know! Uncle Gabby: Should I get on the bed? Kathy: No, let's get into the bathroom. It might get messy. Uncle Gabby: Now we're cookin' with gas! [gets in the tub] Kathy: It's time for me to stop being so pure. Uncle Gabby: You're too pure. Agreed. Kathy: It's time for me to break some rules! Uncle Gabby: Rules are made to be broken! Kathy: The little ones like "always send a thank you note". And the big ones like "Thou shall not murder". Uncle Gabby: Heh heh. Say what? Kathy: [pulls up a long saw] The law against murdering humans was clear. [cuts his limbs while she talks] But what was the closest Kathy could get to experiencing the thrill of taking life without breaking the law? KILLING AND EATING A TALKING MONKEY! Uncle Gabby: That's not turning me on at all! [Kathy touches his brain and ate a piece of it] Uncle Gabby: Okay, that was a little sexy. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
[Kathy opens the crate to let Uncle Gabby in her room] Uncle Gabby: Would it have killed you to have put a carrot in the crate or something? – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Orkney's Son: Orkney Islander Shaman, what are you waiting for? Let's destroy this town of perverts and go home. Orkney Islander Shaman: I don't know if we should destroy it. I just saw a bunch of girls make a racecar. Maybe it's okay if these people have their own way of doing things. They're having fun! Orkney's Son: TRAITOR TO THE MUD GOD! – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Drinky Crow: Who are you? Cindy: We're the Women's Gymnastics Team at the park where you drink sometimes. We like you. Drinky Crow: Look, first of all, I have a girlfriend. Cindy: You do? Where is she? Drinky Crow: She's with another guy. Cindy: Come on. Drinky Crow: Yeah, look. I'm this disgusting alcoholic. So the only thing I have to offer her is that I'm not screwing other girls. If I don't have that, I have nothing. So I can't be with all of you. Cindy: You think we're not attractive? Drinky Crow: No, you girls look great and if I was going to go with a squad of girls it would be you. Cindy: You probably say that to all the collections of girls. Drinky Crow: Look, I can't talk right now. This weird girl took my friend Gabby to Long Island in a crate, and I think I might have to go there and save him. Cindy: Well, I don't think your girlfriend would mind if you went to Long Island in a ... [the Women's Gymnastics Team transformed into a car] Cindy: FABULOUS GIRL CAR! Drinky Crow: Okay, but everyone has to wear underpants. Cindy and the Girls: [groans] – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Drinky Crow: Those girls behaved outrageously, Uncle Gabby! Uncle Gabby: What? Drinyk Crow: Laura took a lot of girls into my bed last night to try and seduce me, even though I told her about Phoebe! And then, when I told her I wouldn't have sex, they had sex with each other! ON ME! Uncle Gabby: Crow, you are not impressing me with this. Drinky Crow: I'm not trying to! – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
[as Drinky Crow starts to have a nightmare, he wakes up and sees a lot of girls in his deck] Drinky Crow: WHO ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE?! Laura: Friends! I could tell you were really wild, so I wanted to do something really crazy for you. [Laura and her friends seduce Drinky Crow] Drinky Crow: Hey! Hey! Cut it out! I told you about Phoebe! What are you doing? Laura: Well, can we at least stay and sleep on you naked? Drinky Crow: Well...that seems innocent enough. But no sex. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Orkney's Son: Ugh! Those two flirty women are in a houseboat with a crow and monkey! They're having fun! Nobody is worshiping Mud God! Orkney Islander Shaman: Let me see. [grabs the telescope] Well, a little smallpox will put and end to that party! You have the fan? Orkney's Son: Yes. And the pox. For Mud God! [as Orkney's Son was about to drop the smallpox onto the fan] Orkney Islander Shaman: Hold on. I need to look at the perverted decadence a little bit more. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Kathy: Look, Mr. Gabby, you seem really nice. But the fact is, well-- Laura: Kathy's getting married this weekend. We were just in town for a final cheap thrill before she ties the knot. Uncle Gabby: I can be that thrill! Kathy: The thing is, Gabby, my parents, my boyfriend-- Laura: Fiance, Kathy! Kathy: WHATEVER! They all think I'm like, "Made of China" or something. Before I get married I want to do something shocking. Uncle Gabby: I would love to help you achieve that goal. Kathy: Good. But tonight, nothing. I want to do it in the nastiest place possible -- At my parents house with all the wedding guests in the house. Uncle Gabby: Great! Kathy: And until then you're gonna not touch me, and not bother me, or try to talk to me, or bleed on me. Or sue me. Uncle Gabby: Deal! – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Uncle Gabby: [to Kathy] We're going to laugh and laugh when we remember that our relationship began with you puncturing so many of my internal organs. And me deciding not to sure. Probably. Uncle Gabby: You know it hurts a little less if you kiss it a little. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Drinky Crow: These girls are weird, Gabby. Uncle Gabby: Tell me about it. It's taking quite a while to progress our relationship beyond driver-victim. Drinky Crow: She tried to have sex with me! She rubbed labia majora on my wing! – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Uncle Gabby: Now that you're covered with my blood, you want to come back to my place and take a shower? Kathy: I don't think so. Uncle Gabby: Okay. I just thought that when I filled out the insurance forms you'd like us to be on a more friendly basis. But okay. No problem. GOD, MY SOFT TISSUE HURTS! Kathy: Fine. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago

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