Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #39

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104 — There are currently 5,716 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Laura: Kathy's Dad has a place out on the island and he's really loaded. So I hope you guys don't sue or anything. Drinky Crow: No, no, no. I'm hoping to kill myself, so I don't need money really. Laura: You're really intense! Drinky Crow: Nah. I'm just an alcoholic. I usually drink till I vomit. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
[Uncle Gabby starts to touch Kathy's breasts with his face after getting injured from Kathy's Car they just ran over] Uncle Gabby: Funny. The only thing that seems to stop the blood from flowing is firm, direct breast contact. Kathy: Shouldn't we just call a doctor? Uncle Gabby: And risk her having small breasts? Besides, why ruin the moment? – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Uncle Gabby: Drinky Crow! What are you doing? Drinky Crow: I'm trying to get a car to hit me. Uncle Gabby: Great idea! That is a perfect way to meet girls! Drinky Crow: I wasn't trying to meet girls, Uncle Gabby. I was trying to meet Death. Uncle Gabby: That's crazy. Death's got no boobs. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Orkney's Son: Orkney Islander Shaman? Orkney Islander Shaman: Yes, my son? Orkney's Son: I am sad that everybody doesn't worship our crazy Mud God. Orkney Islander Shaman: What makes you think that? Orkney's Son: Look. [pulls up a celeb magazine] These people all have fun and talk about whether beautiful women are gaining or losing weight. There's not a single mention of Mud God. Orkney Islander Shaman: There is a prophecy. When it comes to pass that we learn of a city where all have fun and wear few clothes and know not Mud God, we are to journey there and destroy it with smallpox. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Claire: Drinky Crow, I thought that if I opened up, I would be hurt. Our life together here has been so much more than I ever dreamed possible. I love you. Drinky Crow: Eh. I'm not really feeling it. Claire: What? Alien #2: What? Alien #1: [to Alien #2] This was your idea. Drinky Crow: I don't know. Maybe it was better when I didn't know you so well. Your face -- It's just kinda...sorry. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
[Drinky Crow and Claire suddenly got old after 50 years] Drinky Crow: So, Claire. 50 years. Claire: I've seen my granddaughters grow up and marry alcoholic birds of their own. Both: Contented. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
[Drinky Crow shoots the alien that was smuggling her wife Claire] Claire: [crying] I FEEL SO ASHMED! Drinky Crow: I FEEL HOMICIDAL JEALOUSY! – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
[Drinky Crow take the emotion liquid bottles away from Claire and smashing them] Claire: What are you doing? Drinky Crow: I'm saving you from yourself. When you pushed me away it was a plea for me to come closer. Claire: No it wasn't. Drinky Crow: [confused] It wasn't? [the aliens come by and see the liquid was destroyed] Alien #2: Oh no, no, no. This isn't good. We promised the hive queen eight pints of human emotion. Alien #1: Glory to the hive queen. Alien #2: Glory to the hive queen. Alien #1: Earth is miles away. Alien #2: Let's just destroy the earth and we'll tell her we got there too late. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Captain's Daughter: Uncle Gabby! You almost let me die! Uncle Gabby: Sorry. Captain's Daughter: Anyway I need you decide. Should there be a special option for vegetarians, or should we just expect them to eat the vegetarian side dishes? Uncle Gabby: I don't care. Captain's Daughter: Excuse me? Uncle Gabby: I have no opinion on this at all. I cannot muster even the slightest degree of interest about this issue. Captain's Daughter: Well, maybe you're not interested in getting married then! Uncle Gabby: I never said I was interested in getting married. I said I would get married! There's a big difference. [Captain's Daughter brutally beats up Uncle Gabby for that issue] Captain's Daughter: AND WE'RE STILL GETTING MARRIED! [leaves] Drinky Crow: [crying] That's beautiful! – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Phoebe: I'm glad you came, Drinky Crow. You know, Sam works such long hours, and then he takes his work home with him. I guess what I'm trying to say is, do you want to come over some night? Drinky Crow: Did you say something? I wasn't paying attention. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Drinky Crow: So I broke up with Claire. Uncle Gabby: [chokes Drinky] YOU THREW AWAY THE BEST THING THERE IS! [stops choking him] Well, your life your call I guess. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Drinky Crow: [to Claire] I have to share everything about you. Even the unsexy stuff like your credit card debt, persistent untreatable neck and shoulder pain. I need all of you -- Or nothing! – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Drinky Crow: Claire, uh...we need to talk. [cuts to the next scene where Drinky and Claire gets their butts slapped with a butt-slapping machine] Claire: What did you want to talk about? Drinky Crow: First of all, this is really nice. And dirty. Claire: It better be. I paid like $400 for it. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Uncle Gabby: This one's sad. You engaged too? Depressed Slave: I didn't want my life to be like this. Claire: [to Drinky Crow] I have a deal with a buyer who's very interested in the traces strong emotions leave in cerebrospinal fluid. Claire's Dad Accountant: Hah! Ask Claire how much she's made off this terriffic deal! Claire: [to her Dad] We're just waiting for the paperwork. Claire's Dad Accountant: Like I'm waiting for a date with Merle Oberon. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Flippy: Would you say you're more of a "cutting sugar cane in the hot sun" person, or a "having sex with a fat rich guy" person. Slave #1: Cane, no question. Wait, no, the sex one. Definitely the sex one. [as Slave #1 chooses the Sex Slaves section, he then gets turned into a sex slave transporting him to another place to work at, but ironically the cart got bumped when he ride the Slave Slaves cart] Security Slave Slaves Woman: These slaves are awful. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Drinky Crow: Why did those, uh, pirates attack us, Claire? Claire: Those guys? They're not pirates. They're amnesty international. They take a really hard line against slavery. They're like slavery nazis. Drinky Crow: You do slavery? No way. Isn't that illegal? Claire: Technically, yeah, but there's a work around. Um, the stafford loan documents say of you fall behind by two payments you give up the protection of law until you work to pay off your debt. [to a slave] ISN'T THAT RIGHT, SCUM? [whips] Drinky Crow: So once you catch them all, you sell them for profit? Claire's Dad Accountant: Profit? Hah! Drinky Crow: [to Claire] Why do you do it? Claire's Dad Accountant: Cause I've got a hole in my head, that's why! – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
[while Drinky Crow and Claire were fighting, Uncle gabby gets a phone call] Uncle Gabby: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Well, couldn't my senile aunt sit by your retarded cousin? No? Okay then we spring for the special collar. No problem. [gets his face blown off] Thank god! – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Drinky Crow: Claire grew up not too far from here. When she and I dated she used to take me out into this desert for sweat bee sex. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Uncle Gabby: [talks about Claire] Crow, she's offering a reliable supply of sex at a very attractive price in terms of entanglement or intimacy. Drinky Crow: But I don't know what her interests are, other than having sex with me! I need to solve this mystery of who she is! Uncle Gabby: Solve the mystery? That's stupid. Captain's Daughter: Gabby! Let's talk napkins! Uncle Gabby: [changes his mind] I'd love to, but I've gotta help Drinky Crow solve a mystery. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Drinky Crow: It was awful, Uncle Gabby! Even though she promised me were just friends, she made me have sex with her on a swing and then on a fire escape! – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Claire: Hey, Drinky. Drinky Crow: Hey, Claire. How long have you been in town? Claire: I just moved in two weeks ago. You should come over and visit. Drinky Crow: [blushed] I-I-I'M not at that stage of my life anymore! My life is different. I have uh...I can't be with you. Claire: I didn't say "come over and screw". I said "come over and visit". Drinky Crow: Oh. Right. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Uncle Gabby: I decided the worst thing about Captain's Daughter is how boring she is. Drinky Crow: Really? Uncle Gabby: What makes her boredom so specially awful is the way she talks with the intonation of someone saying something really interesting, which forces you to listen, so every moment is excruciating torture. That's the biggest reason I hate her. Drinky Crow: Then why are you marrying her? Uncle Gabby: She'll be legally required to have sex with me. If she doesn't, she can go to jail. Or get the electric chair. [happily sighs] Then I'd be free. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
Uncle Gabby: [drunk] Screw it, Crow. Even when I had a God to forgive me, I still felt bad. Drinky Crow: [drunk] Gabby, you still feel guilty because your God has no moral authority. Look at him. [sees Fritz God looking at Captain's Daughter God flossing her teeth] Drinky Crow: You need a God with a clear sense of right and wrong. Uncle Gabby: You're right. Monkey God! Stop being just a big version of me! From now on I want honest feedback on how I'm doing! Drinky Crow: YEAH! [Drinky Crow and Uncle Gabby then became slaves and getting hit by hot steaming rocks] Drinky Crow God: SINNERS! FILTHY DEGENERATES! Fritz God: We judge you and find you ABOMINATIONS IN OUR SIGHT! Uncle Gabby: [to Drinky Crow] You know something? You really are an idiot. Drinky Crow: I know, I know. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago
[shows the next scene where Tony ends up in a hospital] Captain's Daughter: Can he hear me? Doctor: It's hard to say. His brain experienced extensive trauma in the crash. Your husband may be dead, dead, dead, or he could be experiencing a rich fantasy life of sailing ships and monkeys. Captain's Daughter: So there's no way to tell? Doctor: There is a test, the chromium brainological assay, but it's quite expensive. What line of work was your husband in? Captain's Daughter: He's a cartoonist. Doctor: I see. The plug's over there. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 2 months ago

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