Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #39

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 6,344 quotes total — keep up the great work!

[Special Fathers and Sister head to Catholic Girls' Boarding School who called for help]

Special Sister:
What are we doing here?! Holy crap, no! No, no! This is all wrong!

Special Father #2:
No, uh, t-this is the right place.

Special Sister:
Ok, leaving now. [starts to get cross-eyed again]

Special Father #1:
What? No. No, no, no. We drove for three hours to get here. We're not leaving.

Special Father #2:
I have to do a number due.

Special Father #1:
See, Father Benetti has to poo. Plus, this was your idea, Sister. "Let's make a little extra money", you said. "Put an ad on the internet", you said.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Young Satan:
Hey. Hey, hey, hey.

Young Special Sister:
Yeah? [looks at him while being cross-eyed]

Young Satan:
Look at me.

Young Special Sister:
I am.

Young Satan:
Really?

Young Special Sister:
Y-Yeah.

Young Satan:
Oh.

Young Special Sister:
Sorry.

Young Satan:
What's wrong with your eye?

Young Special Sister:
Nothing. Let me tilt my head. I can create the illusion that I'm look right at you.

Young Satan:
That's weird.

Young Special Sister:
I guess.

Young Satan:
Your eyes is weird.

Young Special Sister:
Okay. I know. I'm hairy, my eye is weird, my mustache -- But you know what? LOOK INSIDE!

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Young Satan:
Hey, what are you doing way over here?

Young Special Sister:
Nothing.

[Young Satan look at the two bratty girls who bullied her]

Young Satan:
[scoffs] Oh, them? Hey, you can't let anyone get one over on you. You got to get 'em back.

Young Special Sister:
Pour shampoo on them?

Young Satan:
No, no, no. Worse.

Young Special Sister:
In their eyes?

Young Satan:
Worse than shampoo in their eyes.

Young Special Sister:
You mean conditioner?

Young Satan:
No, not conditioner. Worse.

Young Special Sister:
Worse than conditioner?

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Lucy:
I think we should leave.

Judas:
[after seeing a dead ghostly girl] [bleep] "A" MAN.

Lucy:
Good. It's settled. I'll go pack my bag.

DJ Jesus:
[possessed] We can't leave. This re-remix is being paid for by my label. I signed a contract -- A legal document. Do you have any idea what that means?

Lucy:
I do. It's just --

DJ Jesus:
It's ju-- What, Lucy? What? You just want to INTERFERE with my career?

Lucy:
No. I think all of us feel that--

DJ Jesus:
No. I think all of us don't understand that I was totally blocked and this place unblocked me until YOU came in here and interrupted me. So BACK OFF and let me work so I can make music that will PAY for more trips like this.

Lucy:
Well, I don't think anyone wants more trips like this.

DJ Jesus:
WELL, I DO! I WANT THEM. Now get out. [goes back to his et]

Judas:
[to Lucy] We could leave him here.

Lucy:
We can't leave him here.

Judas:
Well, then, I'm gonna call an exorcist or something.

Lucy:
A what?

Judas:
An exorcist.

Lucy:
What is that gonna do?

Judas:
Like the Ghostbusters, you know? It's someone who can, like, fix everything here.

Lucy:
I don't even think those exist. And even if they did, how would you find one?

Judas:
I got the internet on my phone. Boom. I already got one.

Lucy:
That was quick.

Judas:
Yeah. Sidney's Exorcism. Armonk, New York. That's a long way away, right?

Lucy:
Yeah.

Judas:
Let me try another one.

Lucy:
How many choices do you have for an exorcist?

Judas:
3.

Lucy:
I guess try the next one.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[meanwhile with Judas]

Judas:
Oh, man. Luce, your dog pooped on the rug! I'm not cleaning it up!

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Creepy Girl Voice:
You're cute.

DJ Jesus:
Who's there?

Creepy Girl Voice:
You've got skills. I like your beard.

DJ Jesus:
Uh, thank you.

Creepy Girl Voice:
Your girlfriend doesn't like your beard.

DJ Jesus:
Yes, she does. I think she does.

Creepy Girl Voice:
She doesn't want you to be happy.

DJ Jesus:
Of course she does.

Creepy Girl Voice:
She wants to interfere.

DJ Jesus:
She does.

Creepy Girl Voice:
Yeah. She does.

DJ Jesus:
What?

Creepy Girl Voice:
She's an interferer.

DJ Jesus:
Wait a minute...

Creepy Girl Voice:
But I still like your beard.

DJ Jesus:
[chuckles] You...

Creepy Girl Voice:
What?

DJ Jesus:
You're funny whispering voice.

Creepy Girl Voice:
You're funny.

DJ Jesus:
You're funny.

Creepy Girl Voice:
I like your eyes, too.

DJ Jesus:
[sexually] Alright.

Creepy Girl Voice:
So deep.

DJ Jesus:
Mm-hmm. Keep talking.

Creepy Girl Voice:
Yeah.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Special Father #1:
As a young girl, Sister Mary found herself face-to-face with the devil. He came not as a serpent in the grass, but as a lifeguard in a banana hammock.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[as DJ Jesus tries to make a perfect remix for his music, he then starts to hear "Pound My Tom-Tom" on his record player that randomly changes out of nowhere]

DJ Jesus:
Judas, Lucy, come check this out!

Judas:
Wow. What's happening?

DJ Jesus:
All my records turned into this record, and it's perfect. The perfect beat to go with my re-remix. Then the tiles started moving.

Lucy:
I think it's spooky.

DJ Jesus:
Um, it's awesome.

Lucy:
There's something weird going on in this place.

Judas:
Yeah, man, she's right.

DJ Jesus:
Look, will you two relax? I'm really excited about this song. Okay, maybe you guys could stop being so negative and start being a little supportive of me. How does that sound?

Lucy:
Okay.

Lucy:
Are they saying "Pound my tom-tom"?

DJ Jesus:
[sighs]

Lucy:
I'm sorry. "Supportive". I'm being supportive.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Young Special Sister:
It's called "Pound My Tom-Tom". It's about vaginas.

School Girl:
[chuckling] Oh, Mary.

Young Special Sister:
Tony said. He loaned it to me.

School Girl:
Tony the lifeguard?

Young Special Sister:
Yeah! He's gonna show me the dance that goes to it. He's gonna show me the dance that goes to it.

[suddenly two bratty girls arrived]

Bratty Girl #1:
Ha. Tony's gonna do the Tom-Tom with Hairy Mary. That'll be funny.

School Girl:
Bye, Mary.

Young Special Sister:
Stop calling me Hairy Mary!

Bratty Girl #1:
Oh, I'll stop calling you Hairy Mary when you shave your arms and wax your back and pluck your face.

Young Special Sister:
Leave me alone!

Bratty Girl #2:
Um, not supposed to have disco records. It's a sin. [takes away the disc]

Young Special Sister:
Give it back!

Bratty Girl #1:
Honestly, Mary, do you think Tony would ever like a girl who has a bigger mustache than he does?

Young Special Sister:
YES, I DO!

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[as Lucy tries to find outlets in old school for DJ Jesus' recording materials, she heard an ominous voice]

Creepy Girl Voice:
Fatass...

Lucy:
Hello?

Creepy Girl Voice:
Fatass...

Lucy:
Hello? Who said that?

Creepy Girl Voice:
You have a fatass.

Lucy:
I do not!

[Lucy then sees a mirror of her butt that she do have a fatass and runs for her life]

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[Lucy and her friends head to an old Catholic Girls' Boarding School]

DJ Jesus:
Isn't this place amazing? It was a Catholic Girls' Boarding School or something.

Lucy:
I think it's kind of creepy.

Judas:
Yeah, man, it's, uh, it is a little creepy.

DJ Jesus:
Come on, guys. I got to get this re-remix done, and this just the place to do it -- No one else around for miles; No e-mail; No phones; Big, empty pool with weird tiles. It's great. Come on. [farts] Oh, hey, excuse me, guys.

Judas:
[laughs] You fart-echoed.

DJ Jesus:
HO!

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Special Father #1:
Sometimes death leaves a stain on a place, like a stain left behind by...something that stains.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[while SF1 is still dying from his nightmare, Special Sister gets tired of his nonsense, and saves him by pulling out SF1's cross necklace that's been choking him while dreaming]

Special Father #1:
Oh, thank you. You saved my life. Sister...thank you.

Special Sister:
Okay, wrap it up, drama queen. We all need some rest now! Go to sleep.

Special Father #1:
What can I do to...repay you?

Special Sister:
YOU CAN GO TO [bleep] TO SLEEP! I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GET ANY SLEEP 'CAUSE YOU'VE BEEN SUCKING ON BEADS, TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF. JUST SLEEP, JERKOFF!

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[as Lucy came back, she sees DJ Jesus sleeping with the Dreamster]

Lucy:
Hey, wake up.

DJ Jesus:
[still dreaming] Lu-- Lucy?

Lucy:
Wake up.

DJ Jesus:
[sees Lucy inside the coffin] Lucy, how -- How did you get here?

[however, DJ Jesus can only see and hear Lucy in his dream while she's trying to wake him up]

Lucy:
What's wrong with you? Wake up!

DJ Jesus:
Okay. Stop saying that and get us out of here.

Lucy:
Wake up. [slaps DJ Jesus]

DJ Jesus:
Ow. Okay. Not necessary to slap me and say "wake up" when I'm obviously next to you and up, okay?

Lucy:
[slaps hardly] Wake up! What's wrong with you!

DJ Jesus:
Alright. Do not --

Lucy:
Wake up! Wake up!

DJ Jesus:
Don't slap my face. Stop it! PLEASE! HEY, I'M HERE! DO NOT SLAP MY FACE AGAIN.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Judas:
Ladies and gentlemen, we've come to witness DJ Jesus attempt the most dangerous escape of them all -- The Resur-Rocktion!

Judas:
DJ Jesus will be placed into this sarcophagus, which will be lowered into this freshly dug grave. And this backhole will bury him under 10,00 cubic feet of dirt. And a big ROOOCK!

Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner):
How are you feeling?

DJ Jesus:
I'm totally unprepared. Oh, my god, it's a tight fit in here.

Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner):
Great, great. Sealing you up.

Satan (as Assistant Lady):
Sealing you up now.

DJ Jesus:
Uh, what's the trick? Uh, don't I have some trick to get out of here?

Satan:
I sure hope so. [laughs evilly]

DJ Jesus:
Lucy's Dad?

Satan:
Bye-bye, Jesus.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[DJ Jesus randomly appears to be on stage with no thought of what just happened after getting interviewed with the therapist]

DJ Jesus:
Oh, uh, hello. Uhm, uh. How you folks doing? [to Judas] I can't remember what we're doing.

Judas:
We're doing the "Resur-Rocktion".

DJ Jesus:
We are? I don't do that trick.

Judas:
But that's what they came to see, man.

DJ Jesus:
But we haven't practiced it!

Satan (as Assistant Lady):
It will be fine. You were born to do this trick.

DJ Jesus:
Uh, who are you?

Satan (as Assistant Lady):
I'm your lovely assistant.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[Special Father #1 talks about his fears]

Special Father #1:
It's something the Pope e-mailed me last week. He called it "cute puppy" in the subject. So it threw me off. I figured it was going to be a pictures of a cute puppy. And it was a link to a video of this guy with a hug larva growing under his skin, and he pushed it out through his -- [disgust] Oh, oh.

Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner):
Oh, dear. That's horrible.

Special Father #1:
I know. It made me sick. I sent it to everyone I know.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[Dr. Franz Weiner gets a phone call]

Special Father #1:
Dr...Dr. Weiner, do you want to get that?

Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner):
Um, yes I will. Uh, hold one second.

Satan:
[normal voice] [on phone] Hello?

Lucy:
Hey, it's me.

Satan:
Uh, it's not a good time. Can I call you back?

Lucy:
Oh, okay. I didn't really have anything to say. I'm just -- Pissed. I got in a fight with Jesus. But, you know, I don't want to talk about it.

Satan:
Right, right. So 'cause I got to do, um --

Lucy:
He is such a flirt! It drives me nuts. I was like, "Just don't be a slut". And he was like, "It's part of my job".

Satan:
Luce, can I call you back?

Lucy:
I was like, "What"?! And he was like --

Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner):
[to DJ Jesus] Just one second!

DJ Jesus:
No problem. [while petting Judas as a goat]

Satan:
[normal voice] Luce, really, really busy night for me, so...

Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner):
[to SF1] One second!

Special Father #1:
Uh, take your time.

Lucy:
Oh, then he said he was claustrophobic, and I was like, "What"? I was gonna kill him. But then he was like, "No, I'm actually claustrophobic". And I was like, "Oh". And then he went out, and he did body shots on the two skankiest girls I have ever seen.

Satan:
He's claustrophobic? [referring to DJ Jesus]

Lucy:
Yeah.

Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner):
[to DJ Jesus] You are claustrophobic?

DJ Jesus:
Yes. How did you know that?

Satan:
Thank you, Luce. [hangs up]

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[as DJ Jesus sleeps with the Dreamster on, he then meets the same demon therapist that SF1 got into]

Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner):
Hello there, Jesus.

DJ Jesus:
Uh, do I know you?

Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner):
I'm Dr. Franz Weiner. I want you to tell me about your fears.

DJ Jesus:
Are you a therapist?

Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner):
Sort of.

DJ Jesus:
You know who you remind me of?

Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner):
Who?

DJ Jesus:
Freddy Krueger.

[Dr. Franz Weiner (as Satan) turns into Freddy Krueger]

Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner):
Why?

DJ Jesus:
Because of your sweater and your lumpy skin.

Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner):
[bit offended] I don't have lumpy skin. Alright. Fine.

Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner):
Let's just focus on you, Jesus, and your fears.

DJ Jesus:
No, no, no. Hey, you're like Freudy Krueger.

Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner):
Okay. That's -- That's enough.

DJ Jesus:
Oh, man! I wish Judas was in this dream. He'd love that joke.

[Judas arrives as a goat with wings]

Judas:
I AM IN THIS DREAM, DUDE!

DJ Jesus:
There he is!

Judas:
That was hilarious -- Freudy Krueger. Hilarious!

DJ Jesus:
You're a goat, man. What's going on? [laughing]

Judas:
I don't know, man!

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[as SF1 opens up the bathroom door, he then sees a strange white void room with Dr. Franz Weiner]

Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner):
Hello. Come on in.

Special Father #1:
Oh, sorry. I was looking for the bathroom.

Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner):
That's alright. Come in and have a seat, please. I am Dr. Franz Weiner. I want you to tell me about your fears.

Special Father #1:
My fears?

Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner):
Yes, please. I am interested in your worst fears, your ultimate nightmare.

[suddenly the chair that SF1 is sitting in turns into a toilet]

Special Father #1:
Uh-oh. Doctor, is it weird if I'm going to the bathroom right now?

Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner):
Number one or number two?

Special Father #1:
Uh...both.

Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner):
Yes. It, uh, ooh, represents creativity.

Special Father #1:
Oh. Oh, that's good, then.

Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner):
Yea-- Yeah, it's good.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[Special Father #1 still can't sleep]

Special Father #1:
Damn it. Alright. I'll go pee, and then I'll be able to sleep.

Special Sister:
Hey, quiet down in there!

Special Father #1:
OH, SHUSH!

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[DJ Jesus gets a word with Lucy when DJ Jesus bought the Dreamster Machine for his fans to listen with]

Lucy:
You encourage them.

DJ Jesus:
Lucy, I'm a DJ, and having a girl sexy-dance right next to me is part of the job. It's like if I was a construction worker and you said to me, "I don't like how there's always cement hanging around you". Or if I was a baker, and you'd be like, "What's with all the yeast"?

Lucy:
I get it. I get it.

DJ Jesus:
Okay.

Lucy:
How about this? If you want to be with me, you can't be a ridiculous man-slut. How about that?

DJ Jesus:
Yeah, that's fine. I'm starting to get a little claustrophobic. So...

Lucy:
What?! Claustrophobic? I give you your space. All I ask is this one thing.

DJ Jesus:
No, no, no. Not in the relationship. I mean literally in this closet. It's tiny space for two people. So can we, uh...

Lucy:
How can you be claustrophobic? You're an escape artist.

DJ Jesus:
All escape artists are claustrophobic. That's why we want to escape.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[Special Father #1 bought a Dreamster Machine for him to sleep tonight]

Special Father #1:
It's a white-noise machine. It makes noise to help you sleep.

Special Sister:
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of.

Special Father #1:
Sister, listen to this.

[SF1 plays the Dreamster]

Special Father #1:
That is, um, "Summer Night". Huh?

Special Sister:
Sounds evil.

Special Father #1:
It's not evil. It's "Summer Night".

Special Sister:
I am really scared. This is not relaxing.

Special Father #1:
It's not -- Sister, it's not scary.

Special Sister:
It's terrifying! Listen to what it's saying!

Special Father #1:
It's not saying anything.

Special Sister:
YES, IT IS!

Special Father #1:
Shh! Shh! Listen.

Special Father #1:
Okay, so it sounds like it is saying something.

Special Sister:
SEE?

Special Father #1:
It's saying, "You..." It's saying, "Hi".

Special Sister:
No, it's saying "You'll die".

Special Father #1:
Okay, you know what? Go away. I'm going to bed -- With my machine.

Special Sister:
YOU'RE GONNA REGRET IT!

Special Father #1:
THAT WILL HELP ME SLEEP!

Special Sister:
IT WON'T!

Special Father #1:
YES, IT WILL! IT'S ALSO NOT HELPING THAT YOU GOT ME KEYED UP!

Special Sister:
I'M SORRY!

Special Father #1:
GOOD NIGHT!

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[after DJ Jesus and Judas watches the Dreamster commercial]

DJ Jesus:
Oh, man, it would be sweet to DJ with that thing. I could put mountain streams and raindrops into my slow-jam mixes. Hey, Judas, you want to order up one of those?

Judas:
Already on the phone, dude! Check it out, man -- Rain!

DJ Jesus:
Yeah, sweet rain. Makes me want to curl up in a little ball.

Judas:
Makes me want to open up my mouth and catch raindrops on my tongue, dude.

DJ Jesus:
That's beautiful, man.

Judas:
[bleep] YEAH, IT IS! WHOO!

DJ Jesus:
[laughing] Judas.

Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

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