Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #37

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 6,349 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Stewart:
Frankenstein, it didn't work.

Victor Frankenstein:
Of course not.

Stewart:
But whyyy?

Victor Frankenstein:
Because I hate you. And the curse said that you can only be "cured" of being alive if you are killed by a silver bullet fired by someone who loves you.

Polidori:
And who would ever love you, you pathetic, fatuous, whiny little --

[a customer arrives]

Elke Sommer:
Frankenstein? My name is Elke Sommer, and I need your help.

[Stewart suddenly grows a mustache]

Stewart:
[suavely] Well, hello.

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[after Victor and Polidori got finish creating a bat shark, and then blowing it into pieces]

Victor Frankenstein:
[laughs] Bored again.

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Heinrich:
Good evening, Mr. Genmleman.

Stewart:
I got to see -- Huh?

Heinrich:
...

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[Baron brings Stewart to Victor Frankenstein's lair for help]

Victor Frankenstein:
[to his son] Well, hello, there, young sir. And who have you brought with -- [sees Stewart] [tired] Oh, no.

Stewart:
Please, Dr. Frankenstein, I beg you -- You got to end my torture!

Victor Frankenstein:
Look --

Stewart:
Cure me or...or...

Victor Frankenstein:
Look --

Stewart:
...kill me.

Victor Frankenstein:
Yes. Look, Mr. Lawrence, I've told you before -- There's no curing you. There's no killing you. You are immortal, just like myself and Professor Polidori, here.

Stewart:
I just want to die!

Polidori:
My god. At least kill him for my sake.

Stewart:
[to Polidori] Stay out of this, old lady! Even a man who says his prayers. I say my prayers. I pray to die every night. Don't you see? I'm cursed to kill. Death would be a blessing. But not just any death. I need a silver bullet.

Victor Frankenstein:
Here's one. [shoots Stewart with a silver bullet]

Polidori:
Well, he can't say it, so I will. Thank you.

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Victor Frankenstein:
It's ridiculous.

Polidori:
Just hear me out!

Victor Frankenstein:
It's pointless, without merit. May we move on?

Polidori:
I could sew her a stunning bridal gown in taffeta and lace.

Victor Frankenstein:
[sighs] You just want to play dress-up.

Polidori:
And her hair! Ooh! I have ideas!

Victor Frankenstein:
Been there! Made that! On to the next!

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Baron Frankenstein:
[babbling] Daddy's gonna help this fine genmleman. [babbling] Real fun!

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Baron Frankenstein:
Well, hello, there! Are you coming to see my daddy?

Stewart:
Baron Frankenstein? Yeah, yeah! I need his help.

Baron Frankenstein:
Well, yes, indeed! That's what my daddy does, is help genmlemen like yourself. Are you a gemleman?

Stewart:
No. I'm a monster. A monster! You'd better run as far as --

Baron Frankenstein:
Alright, genmleman. Ou can come inna my house.

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[Stewart tries to get some help to end his werewolf curse]

Stewart:
[sees Victor's castle] Frankenstein. Victor Frankenstein. You'll understand. I'll make you understand.

[cuts to the next where Stewart bangs Victor's door for help]

Stewart:
LET ME IIIIIN! I'M A MONSTER! I NEED SOME HELP, YOU STUPID GENIUS!

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Consarnit. You tellin' me that I finally git me a kissable patootie and on the most romantic night of the month, I'm gonna grow hair all over it?! Hell, I might as well have a dumbass square head like doofus over here! [referring to Creation's square head]

Victor Frankenstein:
[sighs] That's not real. [to his Creation] TAKE THAT STUPID THING OFF!

Frankenstein's Creation:
[to LBJ] But it is more to your liking?

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Oh, yeah, I love it! Bend over!

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
I hat to break it to ya, boys. But you just lost yourself one happy customer. And I will not be recommendin' you highly to any time period any time soon!

Victor & Polidori:
[doesn't care]

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
[to his mirror] Come on, handsome. Let's get out of here. [leaves]

Frankenstein's Creation:
[to Victor] Do I not look more fetching?

Victor Frankenstein:
Oh, GO TO YOUR ROOM!

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[LBJ gets attacked by a werewolf]

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Get your hand off me! I'm the President of the goldarn United States! Get away from me, you weirdo monkey man! Ow! I said ow!

[when a gunshot was heard, the werewolf whimpers off, leaving LBJ in JFK's body injured]

Gustav:
He's alive! Now he gets to be a werewolf.

Heinrich:
Ah, lucky.

Gustav:
How come we're the only ones who don't live forever around here?

Heinrich:
Yeah. Tell me about it.

Elizabeth Frankenstein:
Boys! Come into the castle and clean your rooms!

Heinrich & Gustav:
Coming, Mother.

Gustav:
Dumb immortal.

Heinrich:
Shh! Gustav, she'll hear you, and we'll be grounded again.

Gustav:
I don't care!

Heinrich:
Well, I do! I do like to get out and about from time to time.

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
[boston accent] Ask not what I can do for you... [LBJ's voice] ask what you can do to my Marilyn Monroe-Rammer.

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Polidori:
[to LBJ] Would you like me to get you two a room so you can be alone with yourselves?

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
No, but you can quit yer leering at my sweet woman-lovin' ass and go get me somethin' to dingle my new dangle into so I can make sure my pumper's ticking sufficiently.

Polidori:
Here, you can use this leftover brain.

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Heh. I'll customize it for your dumbass.

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[Victor Frankenstein managed to put LBJ's brain into JFK's dead body]

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
[boston accent] Er, uh, "Pahhk the cahhr". "Pahhk the dag nab cahhr". Heh-hey. Great job, Doc.

[Heinrich and Gustav carries LBJ's body]

Heinrich:
Daddy, what do we do with this dead old body?

Gustav:
Yeah, what, daddy?

Heinrich:
What?

Victor Frankenstein:
How many times do I tell you, children? Not while I'm working!

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Hey. These old guys your kids? [laughs] Well, I'll be ding-danged!

Polidori:
[to Victor's children] Why don't you just ask the hunky bumpkin?

Heinrich:
[to LBJ] Where do you want this?

Gustav:
Got to put him somewhere.

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
That old thing? You can shove it up some chinaman's ass for all I care.

Gustav:
Come on, Heinrich. Let's just take him to the cemetery.

Heinrich:
Oh, Gustav, that place hits too close to home at my age.

Gustav:
At my age, too.

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
What, so, you never given them that immortality juice?

Victor Frankenstein:
Thank god, no.

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Victor Frankenstein:
How is the skull reconstruction going, professor?

Polidori:
Not too well. There seems to be a piece missing.

Victor Frankenstein:
Hmm. Yes. We'll have to find someone else's forehead that will match that specific curvature. I've got it!

Victor Frankenstein:
Ygor!

Ygor:
Yes, master?

Victor Frankenstein:
Take the 1932 Frankenhole to February, Twentieth Century Fox. Bring me the forehead of SPENCER TRACYYY!

Ygor:
[laughing] You got it.

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Eye Crow #1:
Wink!

Eye Crow #2:
Wink!

Both:
Blink!

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Frankenstein's Creation:
Must make head square.

Stewart:
Ahem.

Frankenstein's Creation:
Ohh! Hello, Mr. Lawrence.

Stewart:
Ah, please. Call me Stewart. Why are you volunteering to change the way you look?

Frankenstein's Creation:
Oh, I-I-I was just, uh...experimenting with my appearance.

Stewart:
[depressed] Golly. It must be nice to choose your fate.

Frankenstein's Creation:
Oh? Doest thou think this angular mud pack flatters my vi--

Stewart:
Me! I'm cursed, you see I got a nice mug during the day. Sure, everyone says it. I'm easy on the eyes, brother. But then at night -- At night, things change.

Frankenstein's Creation:
Yes, yes. You transform into a lycanthrope.

Stewart:
Don't you got eyeballs! I'm dreamy, brother. Can't you see that? I'm a handsome man, see, who says his prayers, I tell ya. But then I turn into an unsightly werewolf.

Frankenstein's Creation:
Uh... [leaves]

Stewart:
[sobs] I tell you. I don't want to be ugly. Oh, woe is me!

[suddenly a squid arm touches Stewart]

Stewart:
[slaps the squid arm] Ah, leave me alone, you jerk.

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Victor Frankenstein:
I will create the world's first LBJFK.

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Oh, excellent. Everything's working out just as... [nasally] planned.

[LBJ accidentally touches his nose while doing the villainy hand gesture]

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Polidori:
So...you'd like to bring your little president here back to life, eh?

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Hell no. I want you guys to make me look like him -- Well, before the shooting, of course.

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Ya see, I want Marilyn Monroe's ass in my face. I want to taste Jackie O's perfumy privates...feel her jiggly-wiggly jagglies and then dingle my dongle in her hobbly-wobbly.

Polidori:
[writing down notes] Jiggly-wiggly jobblies?

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
That's "Jagglies".

Polidori:
Got it.

Victor Frankenstein:
Well, I don't think this should be a problem at all. I'll just simply do a routine brain switcheroo.

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Wait, so you mean you're gonna take my brain out of this dog-faced head of mine and put it into Rudolph Valentino here? [referring to JFK]

Victor Frankenstein:
Yes.

Frankenstein's Creation:
SHAAAAAAME!

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Holy ugly. Who's the lumbering sad sack?

Victor Frankenstein:
That's my...creation. He's kind of a pain in the ass. [to his Creation] Go away!

Frankenstein's Creation:
You aid the whims of unknown souls...yet you cast aside your very own? YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO THE AGES! SHAAME!

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
You're kidding me. He's the monster?

Victor Frankenstein:
He prefers "Creation".

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
W-Well, where's his square goldarn head?

Victor Frankenstein:
He doesn't have a square head.

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
But it's in all the movies.

Victor Frankenstein:
SCREW THE MOVIES!

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Otherwise, he looks pretty good, though.

Frankenstein's Creation:
You -- You enjoy my visage?

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, there, fancy fella! The letters "BJ" in my initials don't mean what you think they mean. Got me, sugarplum?

Frankenstein's Creation:
[howling] I...am...A MAN!!

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Yeah, well, so's Khrushchev, but don't make him no prettier. Speaking of which, where's my makeover? All this homo crap is givin' me a hankerin' for some sweet, melty virgyners.

Polidori:
High five.

[as LBJ was ready to give a high five, Polidori made no hand gestures]

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Victor Frankenstein:
I am Victor Frankenstein. Welcome to somewhere in Eastern Europe. Thank you for making the trip from your own time and space.

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Naw, it's kinda fun.

Victor Frankenstein:
Well, now what can I do for you Mr...?

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Just call me LBJ.

Polidori:
But I thought *he* was LBJ? [referring to the JFK's dead body]

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
You dumb hippie! He's JFK! John F'n Kennedy!

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[LBJ sees Victor Frankenstein creating a vampire horse]

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Well, I've always said, "Nature's great and all, but until I get to see me a horse with fangs, I'm not interested".

[Victor Frankenstein shoots the vampire horse]

Victor Frankenstein:
God, I love it when things end!

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Great Castro's Beard. Looks like Dracula's scary tomb in here.

Polidori:
Certainly not. I assure you Dracula would never have the keen fashion sense to decorate with dangling eyeballs.

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
[confused] Okay.

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Polidori:
Pray, who's the next patient?

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Howdy. Vice Presi-- [gets an idea] Oh. PRESIDENT Lyndon Baines Johnson.

Polidori:
Professor Sanguinaire Polidori.

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
And, uh, this here's JFK, um, give or take some skull. Heh!

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

Tiny Nurse:
And how much shorter would you like your legs to be exactly, Mr. Lincoln?

Abraham Lincoln:
Real short. So they don't reach the ground.

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Step aside, Quaker Oats! Got a president of the United States shot in the head!

Abraham Lincoln:
Not my problem.

[LBJ shoots Abraham Lincoln]

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Heh heh. Copycat.

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

[LBJ knocks on Dr. Victor Frankenstein's castle door]

Ygor:
Yes?

Lyndon Brines Johnson:
Outta my way, pizza-face!

Mary Shelley's Frankenhole  Movie Quote

added 2 months ago

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