Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #62

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104 — There are currently 6,891 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Creepy Girl Voice: You're cute. DJ Jesus: Who's there? Creepy Girl Voice: You've got skills. I like your beard. DJ Jesus: Uh, thank you. Creepy Girl Voice: Your girlfriend doesn't like your beard. DJ Jesus: Yes, she does. I think she does. Creepy Girl Voice: She doesn't want you to be happy. DJ Jesus: Of course she does. Creepy Girl Voice: She wants to interfere. DJ Jesus: She does. Creepy Girl Voice: Yeah. She does. DJ Jesus: What? Creepy Girl Voice: She's an interferer. DJ Jesus: Wait a minute... Creepy Girl Voice: But I still like your beard. DJ Jesus: [chuckles] You... Creepy Girl Voice: What? DJ Jesus: You're funny whispering voice. Creepy Girl Voice: You're funny. DJ Jesus: You're funny. Creepy Girl Voice: I like your eyes, too. DJ Jesus: [sexually] Alright. Creepy Girl Voice: So deep. DJ Jesus: Mm-hmm. Keep talking. Creepy Girl Voice: Yeah. – Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Special Father #1: As a young girl, Sister Mary found herself face-to-face with the devil. He came not as a serpent in the grass, but as a lifeguard in a banana hammock. – Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[as DJ Jesus tries to make a perfect remix for his music, he then starts to hear "Pound My Tom-Tom" on his record player that randomly changes out of nowhere] DJ Jesus: Judas, Lucy, come check this out! Judas: Wow. What's happening? DJ Jesus: All my records turned into this record, and it's perfect. The perfect beat to go with my re-remix. Then the tiles started moving. Lucy: I think it's spooky. DJ Jesus: Um, it's awesome. Lucy: There's something weird going on in this place. Judas: Yeah, man, she's right. DJ Jesus: Look, will you two relax? I'm really excited about this song. Okay, maybe you guys could stop being so negative and start being a little supportive of me. How does that sound? Lucy: Okay. Lucy: Are they saying "Pound my tom-tom"? DJ Jesus: [sighs] Lucy: I'm sorry. "Supportive". I'm being supportive. – Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Young Special Sister: It's called "Pound My Tom-Tom". It's about vaginas. School Girl: [chuckling] Oh, Mary. Young Special Sister: Tony said. He loaned it to me. School Girl: Tony the lifeguard? Young Special Sister: Yeah! He's gonna show me the dance that goes to it. He's gonna show me the dance that goes to it. [suddenly two bratty girls arrived] Bratty Girl #1: Ha. Tony's gonna do the Tom-Tom with Hairy Mary. That'll be funny. School Girl: Bye, Mary. Young Special Sister: Stop calling me Hairy Mary! Bratty Girl #1: Oh, I'll stop calling you Hairy Mary when you shave your arms and wax your back and pluck your face. Young Special Sister: Leave me alone! Bratty Girl #2: Um, not supposed to have disco records. It's a sin. [takes away the disc] Young Special Sister: Give it back! Bratty Girl #1: Honestly, Mary, do you think Tony would ever like a girl who has a bigger mustache than he does? Young Special Sister: YES, I DO! – Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[as Lucy tries to find outlets in old school for DJ Jesus' recording materials, she heard an ominous voice] Creepy Girl Voice: Fatass... Lucy: Hello? Creepy Girl Voice: Fatass... Lucy: Hello? Who said that? Creepy Girl Voice: You have a fatass. Lucy: I do not! [Lucy then sees a mirror of her butt that she do have a fatass and runs for her life] – Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Lucy and her friends head to an old Catholic Girls' Boarding School] DJ Jesus: Isn't this place amazing? It was a Catholic Girls' Boarding School or something. Lucy: I think it's kind of creepy. Judas: Yeah, man, it's, uh, it is a little creepy. DJ Jesus: Come on, guys. I got to get this re-remix done, and this just the place to do it -- No one else around for miles; No e-mail; No phones; Big, empty pool with weird tiles. It's great. Come on. [farts] Oh, hey, excuse me, guys. Judas: [laughs] You fart-echoed. DJ Jesus: HO! – Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Special Father #1: Sometimes death leaves a stain on a place, like a stain left behind by...something that stains. – Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[while SF1 is still dying from his nightmare, Special Sister gets tired of his nonsense, and saves him by pulling out SF1's cross necklace that's been choking him while dreaming] Special Father #1: Oh, thank you. You saved my life. Sister...thank you. Special Sister: Okay, wrap it up, drama queen. We all need some rest now! Go to sleep. Special Father #1: What can I do to...repay you? Special Sister: YOU CAN GO TO [bleep] TO SLEEP! I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GET ANY SLEEP 'CAUSE YOU'VE BEEN SUCKING ON BEADS, TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF. JUST SLEEP, JERKOFF! – Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[as Lucy came back, she sees DJ Jesus sleeping with the Dreamster] Lucy: Hey, wake up. DJ Jesus: [still dreaming] Lu-- Lucy? Lucy: Wake up. DJ Jesus: [sees Lucy inside the coffin] Lucy, how -- How did you get here? [however, DJ Jesus can only see and hear Lucy in his dream while she's trying to wake him up] Lucy: What's wrong with you? Wake up! DJ Jesus: Okay. Stop saying that and get us out of here. Lucy: Wake up. [slaps DJ Jesus] DJ Jesus: Ow. Okay. Not necessary to slap me and say "wake up" when I'm obviously next to you and up, okay? Lucy: [slaps hardly] Wake up! What's wrong with you! DJ Jesus: Alright. Do not -- Lucy: Wake up! Wake up! DJ Jesus: Don't slap my face. Stop it! PLEASE! HEY, I'M HERE! DO NOT SLAP MY FACE AGAIN. – Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Judas: Ladies and gentlemen, we've come to witness DJ Jesus attempt the most dangerous escape of them all -- The Resur-Rocktion! Judas: DJ Jesus will be placed into this sarcophagus, which will be lowered into this freshly dug grave. And this backhole will bury him under 10,00 cubic feet of dirt. And a big ROOOCK! Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner): How are you feeling? DJ Jesus: I'm totally unprepared. Oh, my god, it's a tight fit in here. Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner): Great, great. Sealing you up. Satan (as Assistant Lady): Sealing you up now. DJ Jesus: Uh, what's the trick? Uh, don't I have some trick to get out of here? Satan: I sure hope so. [laughs evilly] DJ Jesus: Lucy's Dad? Satan: Bye-bye, Jesus. – Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[DJ Jesus randomly appears to be on stage with no thought of what just happened after getting interviewed with the therapist] DJ Jesus: Oh, uh, hello. Uhm, uh. How you folks doing? [to Judas] I can't remember what we're doing. Judas: We're doing the "Resur-Rocktion". DJ Jesus: We are? I don't do that trick. Judas: But that's what they came to see, man. DJ Jesus: But we haven't practiced it! Satan (as Assistant Lady): It will be fine. You were born to do this trick. DJ Jesus: Uh, who are you? Satan (as Assistant Lady): I'm your lovely assistant. – Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Special Father #1 talks about his fears] Special Father #1: It's something the Pope e-mailed me last week. He called it "cute puppy" in the subject. So it threw me off. I figured it was going to be a pictures of a cute puppy. And it was a link to a video of this guy with a hug larva growing under his skin, and he pushed it out through his -- [disgust] Oh, oh. Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner): Oh, dear. That's horrible. Special Father #1: I know. It made me sick. I sent it to everyone I know. – Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Dr. Franz Weiner gets a phone call] Special Father #1: Dr...Dr. Weiner, do you want to get that? Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner): Um, yes I will. Uh, hold one second. Satan: [normal voice] [on phone] Hello? Lucy: Hey, it's me. Satan: Uh, it's not a good time. Can I call you back? Lucy: Oh, okay. I didn't really have anything to say. I'm just -- Pissed. I got in a fight with Jesus. But, you know, I don't want to talk about it. Satan: Right, right. So 'cause I got to do, um -- Lucy: He is such a flirt! It drives me nuts. I was like, "Just don't be a slut". And he was like, "It's part of my job". Satan: Luce, can I call you back? Lucy: I was like, "What"?! And he was like -- Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner): [to DJ Jesus] Just one second! DJ Jesus: No problem. [while petting Judas as a goat] Satan: [normal voice] Luce, really, really busy night for me, so... Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner): [to SF1] One second! Special Father #1: Uh, take your time. Lucy: Oh, then he said he was claustrophobic, and I was like, "What"? I was gonna kill him. But then he was like, "No, I'm actually claustrophobic". And I was like, "Oh". And then he went out, and he did body shots on the two skankiest girls I have ever seen. Satan: He's claustrophobic? [referring to DJ Jesus] Lucy: Yeah. Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner): [to DJ Jesus] You are claustrophobic? DJ Jesus: Yes. How did you know that? Satan: Thank you, Luce. [hangs up] – Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[as DJ Jesus sleeps with the Dreamster on, he then meets the same demon therapist that SF1 got into] Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner): Hello there, Jesus. DJ Jesus: Uh, do I know you? Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner): I'm Dr. Franz Weiner. I want you to tell me about your fears. DJ Jesus: Are you a therapist? Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner): Sort of. DJ Jesus: You know who you remind me of? Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner): Who? DJ Jesus: Freddy Krueger. [Dr. Franz Weiner (as Satan) turns into Freddy Krueger] Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner): Why? DJ Jesus: Because of your sweater and your lumpy skin. Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner): [bit offended] I don't have lumpy skin. Alright. Fine. Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner): Let's just focus on you, Jesus, and your fears. DJ Jesus: No, no, no. Hey, you're like Freudy Krueger. Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner): Okay. That's -- That's enough. DJ Jesus: Oh, man! I wish Judas was in this dream. He'd love that joke. [Judas arrives as a goat with wings] Judas: I AM IN THIS DREAM, DUDE! DJ Jesus: There he is! Judas: That was hilarious -- Freudy Krueger. Hilarious! DJ Jesus: You're a goat, man. What's going on? [laughing] Judas: I don't know, man! – Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[as SF1 opens up the bathroom door, he then sees a strange white void room with Dr. Franz Weiner] Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner): Hello. Come on in. Special Father #1: Oh, sorry. I was looking for the bathroom. Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner): That's alright. Come in and have a seat, please. I am Dr. Franz Weiner. I want you to tell me about your fears. Special Father #1: My fears? Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner): Yes, please. I am interested in your worst fears, your ultimate nightmare. [suddenly the chair that SF1 is sitting in turns into a toilet] Special Father #1: Uh-oh. Doctor, is it weird if I'm going to the bathroom right now? Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner): Number one or number two? Special Father #1: Uh...both. Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner): Yes. It, uh, ooh, represents creativity. Special Father #1: Oh. Oh, that's good, then. Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner): Yea-- Yeah, it's good. – Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Special Father #1 still can't sleep] Special Father #1: Damn it. Alright. I'll go pee, and then I'll be able to sleep. Special Sister: Hey, quiet down in there! Special Father #1: OH, SHUSH! – Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[DJ Jesus gets a word with Lucy when DJ Jesus bought the Dreamster Machine for his fans to listen with] Lucy: You encourage them. DJ Jesus: Lucy, I'm a DJ, and having a girl sexy-dance right next to me is part of the job. It's like if I was a construction worker and you said to me, "I don't like how there's always cement hanging around you". Or if I was a baker, and you'd be like, "What's with all the yeast"? Lucy: I get it. I get it. DJ Jesus: Okay. Lucy: How about this? If you want to be with me, you can't be a ridiculous man-slut. How about that? DJ Jesus: Yeah, that's fine. I'm starting to get a little claustrophobic. So... Lucy: What?! Claustrophobic? I give you your space. All I ask is this one thing. DJ Jesus: No, no, no. Not in the relationship. I mean literally in this closet. It's tiny space for two people. So can we, uh... Lucy: How can you be claustrophobic? You're an escape artist. DJ Jesus: All escape artists are claustrophobic. That's why we want to escape. – Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[Special Father #1 bought a Dreamster Machine for him to sleep tonight] Special Father #1: It's a white-noise machine. It makes noise to help you sleep. Special Sister: That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. Special Father #1: Sister, listen to this. [SF1 plays the Dreamster] Special Father #1: That is, um, "Summer Night". Huh? Special Sister: Sounds evil. Special Father #1: It's not evil. It's "Summer Night". Special Sister: I am really scared. This is not relaxing. Special Father #1: It's not -- Sister, it's not scary. Special Sister: It's terrifying! Listen to what it's saying! Special Father #1: It's not saying anything. Special Sister: YES, IT IS! Special Father #1: Shh! Shh! Listen. Special Father #1: Okay, so it sounds like it is saying something. Special Sister: SEE? Special Father #1: It's saying, "You..." It's saying, "Hi". Special Sister: No, it's saying "You'll die". Special Father #1: Okay, you know what? Go away. I'm going to bed -- With my machine. Special Sister: YOU'RE GONNA REGRET IT! Special Father #1: THAT WILL HELP ME SLEEP! Special Sister: IT WON'T! Special Father #1: YES, IT WILL! IT'S ALSO NOT HELPING THAT YOU GOT ME KEYED UP! Special Sister: I'M SORRY! Special Father #1: GOOD NIGHT! – Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[after DJ Jesus and Judas watches the Dreamster commercial] DJ Jesus: Oh, man, it would be sweet to DJ with that thing. I could put mountain streams and raindrops into my slow-jam mixes. Hey, Judas, you want to order up one of those? Judas: Already on the phone, dude! Check it out, man -- Rain! DJ Jesus: Yeah, sweet rain. Makes me want to curl up in a little ball. Judas: Makes me want to open up my mouth and catch raindrops on my tongue, dude. DJ Jesus: That's beautiful, man. Judas: [bleep] YEAH, IT IS! WHOO! DJ Jesus: [laughing] Judas. – Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
Satan: Sick of tossing and turning? Tired of being tired? Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner): [german accent] Hello. I'm Dr. Franz Weiner. And I designed the Dreamster Sound Effects Machine to help you fall asleep naturally and deeply. Here's how it works. Satan (as Dr. Franz Weiner): Our patented sound effects have been scientifically enhanced to activate the sleep center deep inside your brain. Sleepy Woman (as Becky): I tried everything -- Pills, pillows, therapy -- And nothing worked. But the Dreamster Sound Machine put me to sleep the very first time I tried it. Satan: Call now to take advantage of this special offer. Side effects may include drowsiness, nightmares, and psychotic episodes. If you die in your dreams, you die in real life. – Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[after the Special Fathers saved Special Sister from the vampire altar boys] Special Father #1: You'll be alright now, Sister. You'll be alright. Special Sister: [woozy] Jesus was sticking into my kidneys. Special Father #2: You said it, Sister. Archie: I can't thank you all enough. The church owes you the greatest debt. Special Father #1: Archie, you've been bitten. Archie: What? [Special Sister then kills Archie] Special Father #1: SISTER! Special Sister: Oops, I forgot. [Sister pulls the stake out of Archie, making it worse] Special Father #1: No, don't pull it out. Special Sister: Uh, sorry. Guess I made a mistake. Archie: A "missed stake". Special Father #1: [laughs] [everyone laughs] Archie: It's like the end of a Scooby-Doo episode. – Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[while the vampires are drinking Special Sister's blood, Archie crashed into the church with a big van, making the vampires retreat themselves, which then lead them to a trap, where Special Fathers and Nightshade use light panels to shock the vampire boys to death] Nightshade: High-output, full-spectrum, baby! Ha ha! 4,200 lumens! – Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[when Special Sister, got caught, she then gets tied up on a cross to drink her blood from the Vampire Altar/Choir Boys] Vampire Choirboy: Lady Priest, with hate in your love and mercy, I drink your blood. Let it bring health in mind and body. Special Sister: [bleep] YOU! Vampire Choirboy: May the blood of this fat lady bring me to everlasting life. Special Sister: SUCK IT, FREAK! I'LL NEVER BE ONE OF YOU! Vampire Choirboy: No, Sister, you will never be one of us. We're gonna bleed you out, and you will die. Special Sister: YOU CAN'T TURN ME. YOUR DARK,, EROTIC POWER HAD NO EFFECT ON ME. Vampire Choirboy: Okay, that's no problem. Special Sister: Why the church? Why priests? Why meeeee? Vampire Choirboy: Taste -- Priests taste good. Special Sister: AAAAAAH! I MAY TASTE GOOD TO YOU, BUT YOUR STRANGE IMMORTAL BLOOD DOESN'T TASTE GOOD TO ME. You can't make me drink your androgynous yet powerful juices. Vampire Choirboy: We're not trying to. Special Sister: Well, good, 'cause I don't want it. Vampire Choirboy: Then we agree. Special Sister: YES! Finally. We agree to agree. Vampire Choirboy: We'll just agree to agree, then. Special Sister: Yes. Vampire Choirboy: You bleed and die... Special Sister: No! Vampire Choirboy: ...we drink your blood. Special Sister: No! Vampire Choirboy: Less talking, more dying. Special Sister: No, more talking, less dying. Vampire Choirboy: [tired] Just shut up and die. Special Sister: No! Let's keep talking. Vampire Choirboy: ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS BLEED! Special Sister: Have you seen any movies lately? Vampire Choirboy: What? Special Sister: Have you gone to see any movies? Vampire Choirboy: NO! Special Sister: What's your favorite tv show? – Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil Movie Quote	added 3 months ago
[after the Special Father and Sister hunt many vampires from many churches, they celebrated] Special Sister: My feet are killing me. Special Father #1: [exhales a balloon making his voice higher] Yeah, tough week. Satisfying, though. Special Father #2: [does the same that SF1 did] Like old times. Special Sister: Enough with the helium. [leaves] Special Father #1: Sister, where are you going? Special Sister: I'm going to pee. Special Father #1: Take some balloons. Special Sister: I don't want any balloons. I'm sick of balloons. Uh-oh. [suddenly one of the vampire altar boys caught her] Special Father #1: Sister! They took her! Special Father #2: Oh, head rush. – Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil Movie Quote	added 3 months ago

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