[The penguins, having been captured by the vending machine are flown to a submarine in Venice; Skipper looks around from the cage]
Skipper:
Kowalski, analysis.
Kowalski:
All evidence indicates... [his stomach grumbles] Oooh, I ate too many Cheezy Dibbles. [Private coughs out an orange cloud of dust]
Skipper:
We're behind enemy lines and incredibly thirsty. Rico, bust us out of these delicious prison. [Rico sticks out his tongue holding a paper clip and uses it to unlock the cage door.] Nice work, Rico. You're a meaningful and valued member of this team. [As the penguins exit the cage, Private becomes upset. Then he looks at the paper clip, takes it and swallows it. He tries coughing it up, but no success] Private, quit lollygagging… and regular gagging.
Private:
Sorry.
Skipper:
It's dark and ominous. 2 of my least favorite traits in a room.
Private:
Ooh, look, a button!
Skipper:
Huh? Private, don't! [Private pushes the button anyway and the platform underneath them descends and they drop down to another room] Now what have I told you about–?
Private:
[presses another button] Sorry, what? [A giant ray wheels to them and a laser pops out pointing at the penguins]
Kowalski:
It looks like some sort of giant laser sent to kill us all, sir. [Skipper steps back from the laser's angle]
Private:
Ooh, another one!
Skipper, Kowalski and Rico:
NO! [they stop Private from pushing the button. Suddenly, drops of water comes down on the panel and on the flippers. The penguins look up to see a scientist in a white lab coat and red hair.]
Scientist:
Naughty, naughty. Pretty birds belong in their cages. [seen walking on the catwalk, but the camera shows that he is walking upside down. He drops down and his limbs are tangled up. The penguins groan in disgust. The scientist gets himself in that tangled position and screws his head right]
Penguins:
Ew!
Scientist:
Now, that's just hurtful. [untangles himself] And I was so happy to see you again, Skipper… [Skipper gasps] ...Kowalski, Rico, and sweet little Private. [flicks Private's beak] Boop!
Skipper:
Who are you?
Scientist:
The humans know me as Dr. Octavius Brine - enowned geneticist, cheese enthusiast, and frequent donor to NPR pledge drives… but you know me by a different, much older name. A name perhaps you hope you'd never hear again, a phantom, a shadow of a former life! I... am... [a purple octopus emerges from the costume of Dr. Brine] Dave!
[the penguins gave long surprised looks at Dave with the Dr. Brine wig still on his head]
Skipper:
Kowalski?
Kowalski:
Sorry, sir. No clue.
Dave:
[takes off the hairpiece] (That's better.) Dave!
Kowalski:
Dave...
Dave:
Dave.
Skipper:
Dave?
Dave:
Dave.
Private:
Dave.
Dave:
Dave!
Rico:
[rolls his eyes] Bleh.
[Dave gives a confused look. A cricket chirp is heard. The penguins look down to see a cricket doing the chirp, who then stops]
A cricket:
Sorry. [leaves, then stops and turns] Wait, wait. Uh, I live this way. [leaves] (Carry on!)
Skipper:
Go ahead, Dan, continue.
Dave:
(Now… where were we? Oh, right.) You seriously don't remember me?
Skipper:
Dave! Dave! Right! Oh yeah, long time. Uh, how's the wife?
Dave:
[punches the wall above Skipper's head] I've never been married! You may not remember me, but I could never forget... you. [grabs a snow globe and shakes it] Let's shake up some old memories. New York City - the Central Park Zoo. [scene changes showing years ago at the Central Park Zoo, showing Dave's old tank, where he entertains people with his tricks] Life was good. Roomy tank, great location, monkey house views, and of course, my adoring legions of fans!
Girl:
Cool!
Dave:
[voiceover] Dave the octopus of 1,000 tricks! [his tentacle goes through his ear bringing a ball through]
Boy:
Awesome!
Dave:
[voiceover] I was the total package. [takes a jar and squeezes himself in and squirts ink making him hover]
Dad:
Hey, kids! Get up here! You need to see this!
Mother:
Come on, kids! Come on!
[Dave, confused, comes out of the water and sees baby Skipper, Kowalski, Rico and Private]
Dave:
[voiceover] And then you arrived...
Man:
Oh, they're so adorable!
Baby Skipper:
Just, uh... smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.
Dave:
[voiceover] ...And took everything from me.
Girl:
They're so adorable!
Woman:
Have you ever seen anything cute?
[Dave has been taken from his tank and put in a box in a truck]
Dave:
[voiceover] 4 adorable baby penguins! With you around, no one wanted an old octopus anymore.
Zookeeper:
Out you go, Dave!
[scene changes to the San Diego Zoo, with Dave in his tank next to a penguin exhibit]
Dave:
And so it went, over and over again. At Zoo...
Girl:
Dad look!
Dave:
After aquarium.
Penguin Fan:
I can't see the penguins, man! [a zookeeper rolls Dave away]
Dave:
[voiceover] Adorable penguins stole the show.
Penguin Fan:
Whoo! Yeah!
'[Dave is shipped to the Brazil zoo, when people watch the penguins dance. Dave stares there sad as an employee goes to the restroom and water is let out of Dave's tank.]
Dave:
While I was shunned… forgotten… unwanted… [flashback ends] ...Alone.
Private:
That sounds awful!
Dave:
Oh, it was. I came to realize some creatures are born to get all the love. The rest of us get nothing! The only thing that has kept me going all these years is my burning thirst for revenge! [Skipper and Kowalski stare confusedly] And my precious souvenir snow globe collection. [sees Rico swallowing all the snow globes] Ah! What is wrong with you?!
Rico:
[mumbles] I dunno.
Skipper:
Oh, Daryl, Daryl, Daryl. You can't blame us for what happened to you.
Dave:
[grabs a canister of green goop] Uh, can! That's how this whole revenge thing works! And with this, I've finally have the power to destroy you!
Private:
Crikey!
