Wikidude's Quotes Page #5,479

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[after turning Catzilla loose in the house...]

Ernie:
Wow... I almost feel sorry for the little fella.

[they pause]

Ernie & Lars:
...Almost! [the two laugh]

Mousehunt  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[The brothers have hired an exterminator named Caesar, who explains his methods.]

Caesar:
See, most people aren't what I call... psychologically-equipped to catch mice. But you spend a few days getting into his furry head, you know how to find him, figure out his moves, and then... boom! Say?nara, mouse.

Lars:
Well, you're the expert. [He picks up a can of pesticide]

Caesar:
Whoa! Never touch that! [The brothers panic and throw the can around until Caesar catches it]

Lars:
What is that?

Caesar:
The big one.

Ernie:
It's a flea bomb.

Caesar:
Works on mice, too.

Ernie:
Yeah? Well, it'd better! Because we can't handle any more intrusions.

Caesar:
Sure, that's how you perceive it. But to the mouse... You are the intruder.

Mousehunt  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[The brothers later arrive at the house to see a delirious Caesar being carried out on a stretcher by paramedics.]

Ernie:
Oh, my God!

Lars:
Caesar, what happened?

Paramedic:
Please, sir, he's not well.

Ernie:
Try to think! Did you kill the mouse?

Caesar:
What's that? Horse?! Fiendish! I won't eat it! [He keeps ranting and raving as he's carried away]

Mousehunt  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[After hearing ZeppCo's message about Ernie's proposal with them...]

Lars:
Betrayed by my own brother.

Ernie:
Betrayal? Don't talk to me about betrayal! You should have told me about that offer! Half that factory is mine!

Lars:
And half is mi... And half is mine, including the half that you tried to sell!

Ernie:
Yeah, and it would have, if it hadn't been for that stinking bus!

Lars:
Bus? You can't leave well enough alone, can you? You ruin everything!

Ernie:
Me? You blame me for this?

Lars:
Well, look! [He points to the big hole caused from the bug bomb.] You blew a hole in the floor!

Ernie:
Well, I distinctly remember somebody yelling "Shoot, shoot!"

Lars:
Well, you've never listened to me before!

Ernie:
And you know why?

Lars:
Why?

Ernie:
Because I have no respect for you! Spending your whole life in that stupid factory! It's tragic.

Lars:
You think I didn't have other things I wanted to do with my life? You think I didn't have ambitions of my own?

Ernie:
Oh, come on, you love string.

Lars:
I didn't love string.

Ernie:
Well, you could have fooled me. You and Pop were always huddled together running some piece of something through your fingers. It didn't matter what I did, I didn't even exist! I made him my special rack of lamb for is 70th birthday.

[Lars sighs in resignation] Oh, no.

Ernie:
Yes, you remember! I slaved over that meal, making sure everything was perfect! Did he say, "Thanks, Ernie, it was delicious"? No. He only noticed the string I had tied it with. [He sighs.] He was crazy. But I still wanted his approval. I didn't leave, Lars. I was cast out.

Lars:
There you go again. Blaming everything else but yourself. You think you're a success. Huh? Well, you... [He points at Ernie] ...can't... cook!

Ernie:
I hate you!

Lars:
And I hate you!

Ernie:
Not as much as I hate you!

Lars:
Yeah?!

Ernie:
Yeah, double! Double!

Mousehunt  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[In the midst of an argument, Lars throws an orange at Ernie, but the orange hits the mouse instead. Ernie sees the unconscious mouse on the table in shock.]

Ernie:
You killed him! [He laughs with joy as Lars walks over.]

Lars:
I didn't even know he was there!

Ernie:
Just think of all the trouble we could have saved ourselves if we just threw fruit at him in the first place!

Lars:
Look! He's still breathing!

Ernie:
Well, kill him, kill him! Find a blunt object! There!

[Lars grabs a small shovel and prepares to finish the mouse]

Lars:
There we go, get the...!

Ernie:
Let him have it. [Lars hesitates] What the hell are you waiting for?!

Lars:
I can't just hit him with a shovel.

Ernie:
Why not?

Lars:
Well, look at him, he's pathetic.

Ernie:
Pathetic? He's Hitler with a tail! This is The Omen with whiskers! Nostradamus didn't see this thing coming!

Lars:
Well, Ernie, he's a living thing.

Ernie:
Not for long! Give me that! [He snatches the shovel from Lars and prepares to kill the mouse, but hesitates] I can't! [he hits himself in the head with the shovel and starts crying] Look at him just lying there! It just doesn't feel very sportsman-like.

[The mouse starts regaining consciousness]

Lars:
We'd better do something quick! I think he's coming to!

Mousehunt  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[At the house's auction, Ernie is greeting the guests near the buffet table.]

[Ernie, greeting an African prince] Ah, Hakuna Matata!

New York Lady:
The crepés are magnificent. The raisins are a nice touch.

Ernie:
They are good, aren't they? [He looks confused] Raisins? [He checks a tray for mouse droppings]

Mousehunt  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[Having been flooded out of the house in the brothers' last attempt to kill the mouse, the angry auction guests are leaving.]

Ernie:
Hey! Don't go! The water was just a… a demonstration of... of how durable a LeRue really is! [he laughs] How about that, huh? Now, you know... this house will last forever! [the house suddenly collapses]

Mousehunt  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Julie:
Will you poop on me?

Movie 43  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[First lines; Mr. Bean drives to a raffle being held at a church fete]

Vicar:
Three one! Thirty-one. Ah, Mrs. Lucas! [everybody claps their hands]

Mrs. Lucas:
Over here!

Vicar:
Congratulations, Mrs. Lucas. And now to the first prize in today's raffle in aid of the "roof appeal." [the crowd stop clapping their hands; Bean pops out of the crowd] Thank you Lily. [A nearby little girl named Lily turns on her iPod, causing "La Mer" to play] Indeed. The magnificent holiday to the south of France, kindly sponsored by Dalesborough Travel Limited. [everybody at the church, including Bean, clap their hands again] So, thank you guys. The winner of this prize will travel by Eurostar train to Paris then catch the fast train south before spending the week on the beaches of the French Riviera. This fabulous prize also includes 200 euros spending money and Barbara, this wonderful video camera kindly donated by A&K Electrics of Arbor Road. The winner of this amazing prize is: 9-1-9. [Bean sees that his ticket number is 6-1-6 which disgruntles him and causes him to dump it on a toy truck] Nine one nine. Anybody have ticket 9-1-9? [Bean sees his ticket number upside down which reads 919, surprising him] If there is no claimant, I'll have to pick another ticket from the bucket. Anyone? [right before the vicar gets another ticket from the bucket Bean quickly raises his ticket up as 9-1-9]

Mr. Bean:
Yes! [everybody looks back at Bean and cheer as Bean joyfully walks to the stage, triumphant about winning the prize]

Mr. Bean's Holiday  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[Bean wakes up on what appears to be a quiet French village until seeing a tank and several soldiers attack the village and unwittingly collides into Sabine dressed as a waitress while running for his life]

Carson Clay:
Cut! Cut, cut! [the soldiers and Sabine stop acting while Bean stands puzzled] What the hell is he doing?! Where did he come from? Some of us here are trying to make a work of art! Everyone, back in position!

[a crew member grabs Bean by the arm and walks off]

Carson Clay:
Get him in something different and put him in the background. [to the waitress] You, sweetheart. You never stop, okay? Remember, you're crazy for the taste of Fruzzi yogurt. [points to a yogurt container with the name "Fruzzi" full of strawberries in which a hand sprays scent on it] Well, how long does it take to reset? Then WHY IS EVERYONE MOVING IN SLOW MOTION?!

News Reporter:
Cannes jury member Emil Dachevsky, the Russian film director, explained that his son Stepan was last seen on a train with a mysterious foreigner.

Train Station Manager:
As soon as I saw him, I thought "he's evil."

Carson Clay:
Action! [the commercial goes as normal with Bean dressed in military outfit while holding his camera on the tip of his gun] Cut! [the soldiers along with Bean stop running] The guy with the video camera is fired!

Female Crew Member:
[holding up a megaphone] Fired.

Carson Clay:
[upon seeing Bean walking while seeing that his camera's battery is dying] YOU'RE FIRED!

[Bean falls down; later, Bean looks for a place to charge his camera when he notices a plug of one of the machines used for the special effects in which he unplugs it, causing the lights on the machine to turn off]

Male Crew Member 1:
Are you ready?

Male Crew Member 2:
Yep.

Carson Clay:
Action! [the whole commercial goes as normal until the tank fires its gun in which the windows of a nearby building used in the set does not explode due to the machine used for the special effects turned off] Cut! Cut, cut! My explosion! WHERE'S MY EXPLOSION?! All I want is an explosion, a little tiny explosion!

[Bean unplugs his charger from his camera after its fully charged then plugs back the machine used for the special effects in which the lights turn back on]

Carson Clay:
[walking off the set with one of the male crew members] Is it really so hard for you guys? [grabs a remote control from the member] I mean, all you had to do is this! [presses a button on the remote, creating an explosion off-screen as Carson Clay's sombrero flies into the air]

Mr. Bean's Holiday  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Deeds:
You climbed mountains and built skyscrapers.

You made TV shows and put out newspapers.

You were wicked good at doing stocks.

You liked it when Emilio would change your socks.

We never hung out and that makes me sad.

All the good times we could've had.

But when I die, Uncle Preston, you better say "Cheers".

Cause when me and you are hanging at the pearly gates, I'll bring the beers. I'll bring the beers.

Reverend Sharpton:
Nice rhyme, nice rhyme.

Mr. Deeds  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[Deeds talks to the pilots]

Deeds:
You guys football fans? I think the Pats could take the conference this year. I mean, the Dolphins are overrated and the Jets are choke artists.

Pilot:
I wouldn't say that, Mr. Deeds.

Deeds:
Just Deeds. Why's that, though?

Pilot:
You own the Jets, Deeds.

Deeds:
I do?! Whoa! That sucks. Jeez. I hope they don't play the Pats in the playoffs, or I'll have to kill myself.

Mr. Deeds  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Emilio:
How can I thank you?

Deeds:
All I want is your friendship, Emilio. You're a good man.

Emilio:
Deeds! How about a billion dollars?

Deeds:
All right.

Emilio:
Done.

Mr. Deeds  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[Cecil raises his hand after Cedar asks if anyone knows a doctor that just faxed them]

Cedar:
Congratulations, you have a spastic colon.

Cecil:
That would explain a lot.

Mr. Deeds  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Deeds:
What are you in for?

Crazy Eyes:
Eh, I'm doin' an overnighter for bitin' the mailman.

[waves his hand]

Crazy Eyes:
He was tryin' to cast some spell on me like a wizard or somethin'.

Deeds:
You sure about that?

Crazy Eyes:
I don't know, maybe he was just wavin'.

[waves hand then sees Chuck and Cecil]

Crazy Eyes:
Who're your friends?

Deeds:
This is Chuck and Cecil, they're visiting from New York.

Crazy Eyes:
I don't like 'em.

Deeds:
Okay, then.

Mr. Deeds  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Deeds:
Crazy Eyes.

Crazy Eyes:
Hey, Deeds.

Deeds:
How you doin', pal? I got your pizza for you, just the way you like it.

Crazy Eyes:
Oh, yes. French Fries and Oreos, you know me all too well, Deeds.

Mr. Deeds  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Consuela:
Want me to wipe the leaves on your ficus tree, Mr. Blake?

Blake:
You can call me Preston.

Consuela:
Want me to wipe the leaves on your ficus tree, Preston?

Blake:
Yes. Yes! YES!

[they embrace wildly]

Mr. Deeds  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[in Coretta's burning apartment]

Coretta:
I'm not leaving without me kitties.

Deeds:
How many cats do you have?

Coretta:
7.

Deeds:
Holy shit. Lets get cracking. I apologize for the language.

Coretta:
Apology accepted.

Mr. Deeds  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Deeds:
So how is the elevator business treating you, Reuben?

Reuben:
Oh, it has its ups and downs.

[both laugh]

Mr. Deeds  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[Babe is fighting against Jan, and Babe just kicked her in the crotch several times]

Jan:
Where were you kickin'? I ain't got no balls, dummy!

Mr. Deeds  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[last lines]

Crazy Eyes:
[drives his new Corvette] Damn, these things are fast!

[he floors it and crashes into a tree]

Crazy Eyes:
I'm okay! [laughs] I'm okay!

Mr. Deeds  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Babe:
[reads the card Deeds wrote for her] Hard to breathe, feels like floating.

So full of love, my heart's exploding.

Mouth is dry, hands are shaking.

My heart is yours for the taking.

Acting weird, not myself.

Dancing around like the Keebler elf.

Finally time, for this poor schlub

to know how it feels, to fall in lub.

Deeds:
I couldn't think of anything else that rhymes with schlub. Rub and tub didn't work.

Mr. Deeds  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Mac:
Are you gonna see him again tonight?

Babe:
Yes. I'm calling him around 4:00. It's when I get off work. Remember, I'm Pam Dawson, virgin school nurse from Winchestertonfieldville, Iowa.

[both laugh]

Mac:
That's priceless! You, a virgin!

Mr. Deeds  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Cedar:
We're looking for somebody. Longfellow Deeds.

Murph:
Wow! Is that Deeds' first name?

Cecil:
Well, if the Deeds you're referring to is Longfellow Deeds, then yes, that is Deeds's first name.

Murph:
Well, I don't know Deeds's first name. Maybe it's Greg.

Cecil:
Maybe it's Longfellow.

Murph:
Maybe. But I don't know. I know another guy named Greg. You want me to call him up?

Cedar:
No! Thank you. Please. Just tell us where Deeds lives.

Mr. Deeds  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

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What TV series is this quote from: "Oh my God! They killed Kenny!"?
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B Scooby Doo
C South Park
D SpongeBob SquarePants