The Norm Show

The Norm Show

The Norm Show is an American television sitcom that ran from 1999 through 2001 on the ABC television network. Originally titled The Norm Show, the show simply became Norm from September 1999 through the remainder of the show's run.

Year:
1999
987 Views

Max Denby:
Norm! What is your dog doing at work?

Norm Henderson:
Sir, remember when you, ah, told us to keep an eye out for Level I Clarical Assistant?

Max Denby:
Do-do, don't tell me you hired Wiener Dog.

Norm Henderson:
Well, you know, sir, technically you did when you signed this authorization form. Remember? You encouraged us to find somebody with a disability.

Max Denby:
[reads the piece of paper] Applicant has no thumbs, three-inch legs, and speaks absolutely no English. This, this, this, this is atrocious; he's fired, he's fi - get rid of him! Get rid of him now!

Norm Henderson:
Come on, sir, you can't fire Wiener Dog, there. He's a good man.

Max Denby:
Why? Watch me.

Laurie Freeman:
Well, sir, actually sir, as crazy as it sounds, you really can't fire him; if you terminate a worker with no notice, the union automatically files a grievance.

Max Denby:
I-I-I, I can't fire a dog?

Danny Sanchez:
This is great! If we hire a new drug counselor, can I get my hermit crab?

Taylor Clayton:
I have a gold fish I've been trying to get in the government for years. [Danny laughs]

Max Denby:
STOP! STOP all of you!

Laurie Freeman:
Well, I'm afraid it says right here, sir [pointing to a place in a union handbook] before you fire anyone, you have to state the specific problem and then give them two weeks to improve their performance.

Max Denby:
[faces Wiener Dog] Hello, Wiener Dog, I, ah, am sorry to say that I'm unhappy with your job performance; you got two weeks to improve your typing skills and learn to talk!

Councilman Schmutznik:
Okay! The next matter before the committee is the hearing in support of MC-218, the Norm Law.

Norm Henderson:
The Norm Law? [to Denby, whom has suggested that law earlier] Sir, I cannot believe this. You are besmirching the name of many a famous Norm's. why, I believe the great Norm Crosby himself would find this law grossly erogenous

Max Denby:
You're in big trouble, mister! [going through files in a bunch of boxes on Norm he's brought to the hearing] Big trouble! I was up all night working on my speech, all night; takes about two hours. Ah, I left a little time at the end for people to chant your name in anger! [wheeling a some heavy boxes on a dolly to the podium]

Councilman Schmutznik:
First of all, let me apologize for the long wait. All right now! We will now hear from a mister Denby, and then a Norm Henderson, then lastly we will question the Shelly Kilmartin about her alleged negligence. Unfortunately, because we are behind schedule we will have to limit everyone's testimony. Mister Denby, you have thirty seconds.

Max Denby:
[sudden look of shock] Thir'? Wha-what, what? WHAT? [looking at his watch and stuttering heavily] I-I-I, thirty! Un-un-un-un, NO! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah, I got, I got these files! [lifting the massive paper work] These files! There's, there's so, so, so much! I-I-I-I-I-I [looking at his watch again] N-NOOOOO! AH! NORM! [pointing like a madman for a few seconds with a throbbing forehead vein] BAD! [taking off his glasses and lowering his head in defeat]


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