Search results for 'spongebob' Page #4

Squidward:
It's Sponge-- [burps loudly] --Bob's fault! SpongeBob's fault!

Squidward:
Let's start from square one. Or should I say, circle one. [draws a wobbly-looking circle] Am I going too fast for you, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob:
How's this, Squidward? [he has drawn a perfect circle]

Squidward:
A perfect circle?! Do it again! Show your process.

SpongeBob:
First, I draw this head, then erase some of the more detailed features, and one, two, three, a circle, uh, thingy.

Squidward:
Spongebob, I never thought I'd say this, but, let's get that poop!

Squidward:
We need to find out what that robot did with the real Mr. Krabs. But how?

SpongeBob:
Well, in the movie the hero teams up with a buddy, and they get the poop on the robot.

Squidward:
They poop on the robot?

Squidward:
Why don't you tell me all the things I shouldn't do, if I want to keep the sea bears away?

SpongeBob:
Okay, that's easy. First off, don't play the clarinet.

Squidward:
Okay. And?

SpongeBob:
Never wave a flashlight back and forth really fast.

Patrick:
Flashlights are their natural prey.

Squidward:
You're kidding.

SpongeBob:
Don't stomp around. They take that as a challenge.

Squidward:
[jotting down notes onto a pad of paper] Go on!

SpongeBob:
Never eat cheese.

Squidward:
Sliced, or cubed?

[Patrick and SpongeBob have a quick discussion]

SpongeBob:
Cubed. Sliced is fine.

Squidward:
Yeah? Yeah?

SpongeBob:
Never wear a sombrero--

Patrick:
--in a goofy fashion.

SpongeBob:
Or clown shoes.

Patrick:
Or a hoop skirt.

SpongeBob:
And never--

Patrick:
--ever--

SpongeBob:
--EVER--

Patrick:
GUH!

SpongeBob & Patrick:
--SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEEEEEE!

Squidward:
Wow! It's amazing how so many things can set a sea bear off.

SpongeBob & Patrick:
[hugging each other] They're horrible!

Squidward:
And, all of a sudden, I have the sense we're all in danger.

SpongeBob & Patrick:
Why?

Squidward:
I don't know. [disappears and returns two seconds later wearing a sombrero, a hoop skirt, clown shoes, and holding a flashlight in one hand and a platter of cubed cheese in the other] Just a feeling!

SpongeBob:
No.

Squidward:
Yes.

SpongeBob:
No!

[Squidward starts screeching like a chimpanzee]

SpongeBob & Patrick:
SQUIDWARD, PLEASE DON'T!

[Squidward screeches like a chimpanzee louder, leaning left and right]

Squidward:
[after being fired from the Krusty Krab] I've lost my clothes, my house, EVERYTHING!!!

Spongebob:
[gasps] Even your paintings?

Squidward:
No one would take them, so I had to EAT THEM! [Squidward's stomach is shown in the shape of a picture frame]

Squidward:
[rushed] I was in the future and then I was in the past, and then I was nowhere, and... You don't know how happy I am to see you guys!

SpongeBob:
Does this mean you wanna go...jellyfishing?

Squidward:
NO! Sheesh, who was the barnaclehead that invented that game anyway?

SpongeBob & Patrick:
You are, Squidward! [laughs]

Squidward:
...I'm going back.

Tori:
Oh, and uh, Robbie?

Robbie:
Yeah?

Tori:
...Spongebob underwear? [Robbie covers his abdomen in embarassment]

[In SpongeBob's dream]

Krabby Patty:
[points at SpongeBob's chest] I'll always be with you right here.

SpongeBob:
In my heart?

Krabby Patty:
Actually, in your arteries.

[Mr. Krabs hits his foot on a rock]

Mr. Krabs:
[wailing in pain] Oh my [dolphin chirps] foot! What [dolphin chirps] genius put a [Dolphin Chirps] rock in a [Chirps] path?! Can't ya see I gotta [Boat Horn] foot here?! Aw [Seal Barks]! [SpongeBob is counting the bad words]

[Patrick is watching TV after he gets back from work]

SpongeBob:
Patrick, we need to talk!

Patrick:
Just one more minute, I gotta...

SpongeBob:
Don't "one more minute" me, Mr. Man! [turns off the TV]

Patrick:
Hey, I'm missing the coconut!

[SpongeBob and Patrick have been reduced to piles of ashes]

Patrick:
What's that smell, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob:
That, Patrick, is the smell of defeat.

Patrick:
Good. I thought it was my skin.

SpongeBob:
Forget about your skin, Patrick! Man-Ray is still bad!

[Spongebob arrives at the Krusty Krab]

SpongeBob:
Permission to come aboard, captain! [deep voice] I've been training my whole life for the day I could finally join the Krusty Krew, [normal voice] And now I'm ready.

[SpongeBob trips on a nail stuck in the floorboard. His fall causes him to bounce against the ceiling, SpongeBob shouts and blurts incomprehensibly while his bounces and ricochets around the building accelerate. He then rolls to a stop at the feet of Squidward and Mr. Krabs]

Spongebob:
So, uh, when do I start?

Mr. Krabs:
Well lad, it seems like you don't even have your sea legs.

SpongeBob:
MR. Krabs, Please. I'll prove I'm a fry cook. Ask Squidward, He'll vouch for me.

[Mr. Krabs and Squidward quickly walk away from SpongeBob]

Squidward:
[deep breath] No.

[SpongeBob's stomach growls as he waits for the next bus]

SpongeBob:
Getting kinda hungry. Glove candy dispenser! Good thing I went to Glove World. [takes out a glove candy dispenser and eats several pieces of candy, but then spits them out in disgust] Ewww! Glove-flavoured!

[SpongeBob, while karate-fighting Sandy, has accidentally landed in a picnicking family's potato salad]

Tom:
Way to go, buddy. It took us three days to make that potato salad. [SpongeBob shoots away] THREE DAYS!

[Squidward left SpongeBob and Patrick alone in his house, and came back from the store to find his house completely destroyed, all that is left is bluish rubble]

Squidward:
What a surprise. I invited them in, and I left them alone. Well, Squidward, what have we learned today?

[Squidward sees that SpongeBob is still around, even though SpongeBob's supposed to have blown up by now]

Squidward:
Why are you still here?

SpongeBob:
Well, since we finished everything on the list, I thought I'd make up a new one. I already filled up this book with ideas. [reveals a large, thick book to Squidward] We should be able to finish by January...

Squidward:
[knocking the book out of SpongeBob's hands] FORGET THE BOOK! I spent the whole day with you, doing all kinds of ridiculous things, because YOU were supposed to EXPLODE!

SpongeBob:
You want me to explode?

Squidward:
YES! That's what I've been waiting for!

SpongeBob:
[hesitantly] Well...okay, I'll try. [pretends to "explode"] GARY!! YOU ARE GONNA FINISH YOUR DESSERT, AND YOU ARE GONNA LIKE IT!! [laughs] Now it's your turn.

Squidward:
[in SpongeBob's face] THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT, YOU BARNACLEHEAD!!

SpongeBob:
Ooh, good one!

Squidward:
NO! You're supposed to explode, into a million pieces!

SpongeBob:
Why would I do that?

Squidward:
Because the pie you ate was a bomb!

SpongeBob:
What pie?

Squidward:
The one I left sitting on the counter this morning, that I bought from pirates for twenty-five bucks, and I didn't know it was a bomb, and you ate it! [points to SpongeBob's stomach] THAT PIE!

SpongeBob:
[thinking] Pie...pie... Oh, you mean this pie! [holds the pie up] I was saving it in my pocket, for us to share. Let's eat! Oops!

[SpongeBob starts to move forward, but then trips on a rock. The pie flies into Squidward's face, and the pie goes off with the force of an atomic bomb]

Squidward:
Ouch...

French Narrator:
Ah, the sea. So fascinating. So wonderful. Here, we see Bikini Bottom, teeming with life. Home to one of my favorite creatures, SpongeBob SquarePants. Yes, of course he lives in a pineapple, you silly.

Inside Spongebob's thoughts:
Just got an order from the boss: dump everything that isn’t about fine dining!

Spongebobs:
Everything?!

Boss Spongebob:
Everything! Hurry up! What do you think I'm paying you for?

Other Spongebob:
You don't pay me. We don't even exist. We're just a clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought.

Boss Spongebob:
One more crack like that, and you're outta here!

Other Spongebob:
No! Please! I have three kids!

Plankton:
SpongeBob, there's the guy that took your ice cream! Now be assertive!

SpongeBob:
That's my ice cream!

Plankton:
That's it Spongebob! Now let him have it!

SpongeBob:
You can have it.

SpongeBob:
Okay, Mrs. Puff, what's my final score?

Mrs. Puff:
Six.

SpongeBob:
Whoooo! And how many do I need to pass?

Mrs. Puff:
Six...

SpongeBob:
[bending over and rising up very slowly] Whooooooooo...

Mrs. Puff:
...hundred.

SpongeBob:
Wha?

Mrs. Puff:
Six hundred. You need six hundred to pass. You got six.

Mr. Krabs:
[after making SpongeBob man the drive-thru] It's for those people on the open road, living their dreams.

SpongeBob:
I used to have a dream.

Mr. Krabs:
Yeah? I used to have a kidney stone. Everything passes eventually.

[Mr. Krabs scurries away as Patrick pulls up to the drive-thru and beeps his horn loudly]

Patrick:
The horn still works!!

Mrs. Puff:
I feel so serene now that I'm finally away from that homicidal maniac, SpongeBob.

Patrick:
You know something, SpongeBob, it's all fun and games for you! Nothing really matters! [sarcastically] Oh, let's go jellyfishing! We don't have any work to do! [angrily] Life's just a big bowl of fancy assorted cashews, and nobody has anything to dust, or to clean, or to wipe-- [getting increasingly worked up] --OR FABRICATE!

SpongeBob:
[gently] But Patrick, the only thing I've ever seen you clean is your plate.

[Patrick looks at SpongeBob for a split second, then falls at his feet and breaks down into tears]

SpongeBob:
Patrick! You've forgotten how to eat again! I'll get the funnel!

Patrick:
No, it's not that

Spongebob:
Darn, I like the funnel