Search results for 'spongebob' Page #8

Captain Lutefisk:
Welcome to the Bikini Bottom Demolition Derby! Allow me to introduce our contestants! [Camera switches to a giant, muscular purple in a shark-like boat] First off, bane to crossing guards everywhere: The Kruncher! [Crowd cheers for The Kruncher] And from the darkest depths of the briney blue: Diving Bell Dan! [Diving Bell Dan pounds his chest] And of course, you know and admire: Blow Torch! [Blow Torch breathes out fire] And the funniest driver of all: The Cackling Cruiser! [The Cackling Crusier laughs] Now with introductions out of the way...[Notices SpongeBob drive up between the Kruncher and Blow Torch]...Oh! I almost forgot! [Laughs] The Squish!

Carl:
Hey fellas! What's going on over here?

Squidward:
Oh, hey Carl! I was just reminding Eugene about article 24, section 3 of the Employee Handbook!

Carl:
Cut the chatter, and pick up a platter. Good job, Squidward!

Mr. Krabs:
What've you done with the real Squidward?!

Carl:
The less you know Eugene, the better

Krabs:
What is going on around here? Where's Spongebob?

Charlton Hawkfish:
This is what you get when so-called fish kind in all its hubris and ignorance stoop so low... [points to Mr. Krabs and Crupski] ...as to cut corners in its plumbing system! Extinction is the result of being cheap!

Mr. Krabs:
What a bunch of malarkey.

Charlton Hawkfish:
At least we didn't waken the great sewer snake. [sees the sewer snake behind him as he looks up] Check that.

[All of the customers run out of the stadium upon seeing the sewer snake, but Charlton does not go back down. He throws the axe, pulls up he sleeves, and runs heroically towards the snake. However, he has an idea on how to defeat it. He points to his nose.]

Sewer Snake:
[with a squeaky voice] Uh-oh.

[Charlton pokes the snake with his pointy nose and the snake yelps and flies around like a balloon and falls back through the hole and into the sewers. Back at the Krusty Krab, the toilet erupts with water and floods the restroom. The water bursts out of the restroom with the safe covered in filth. The safe is opened by Squidward who along with SpongeBob are covered in sewage.]

Squidward:
Hey, everybody. The cook's back from the toilet.

SpongeBob:
Who's hungry?

[All customers then burst out from the Krusty Krab, screaming and freaking out, as the episode ends.]

Clerk:
Okay everybody, say "I love my family."

Squidward:
[as Patrick continues crying] I'd rather not.

Clerk:
[aggressively] Say it!

SpongeBob and Squidward:
[elatedly and monotonously, respectively] I love my family. [As the picture is being taken, SpongeBob hugs Squidward, Squidward grunts, and Patrick cheers happily. The photo prints out to be live action versions of the trio. Bubble wipe to the next scene with passengers getting on the plane.]

Patrick:
[sits on Squidward] I think you're on my seat, pop.

[Squidward pulls himself out. SpongeBob zooms in, pushing Squidward to the middle seat.]

SpongeBob:
And I'll take the isle! [laughs]

Clerk:
[gives Spongebob his dry cleaning] Here you go Mr. Squarepants.

SpongeBob:
Hmm...

Clerk:
Is there something wrong?

SpongeBob:
I'm not sure these are my pants.

Crowd:
We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties!

Mr. Krabs:
Okay, open your ears. These people have come from miles around because they love my patties. I want every employee on their best behavior.

Squidward:
Are you getting any of this, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob:
Every word, Squidward, every word.

Devil Donut:
Go on and eat it. What are you waitin' for?

Angel Donut:
Don't do it! It's SpongeBob's donut!

Devil Donut:
Don't listen to him, he's covered with sprinkles!

Patrick:
[cries] ...I hate conflicts!

Devil Donut:
It couldn't get any easier than this; Just hook a chain to it, pop it in your mouth, and then when your sponge friend wants it back, just yank it out.

Angel Donut:
I hate to admit it, but that's a great idea!

Drifter:
What's shakin', my man?

Reg:
Not much. Say, haven't I seen you before?

Drifter:
Doubt it. I'm a drifter. Just blew into town. Heard your club was pretty tough. Thought I'd check it out.

Reg:
Nice try, kid! I know it's you!

Drifter:
What are you talking about?

Reg:
[pulls on the drifter's hair] Aha!

SpongeBob:
[in a clown's wig] Hey, guys. How's it going?

Reg:
[tries to fix the drifter's hair, but can't] You can go on in. Sorry about that. [to SpongeBob] What do you want?

SpongeBob:
I wanna gain access to your social club please. I believe my hairdo is in order.

[Reg takes the wig off SpongeBob]

SpongeBob:
[chuckles nervously] So, where do you stand on the whole Bald vs. Shaved debate?

Drifter:
[looks like SpongeBob; has a cool black wig] What's shakin', my man?

Reg:
Not much. Say, haven't I seen you before?

Drifter:
Doubt it. I'm a drifter, just blew into town. Heard your club was pretty tough, thought I'd check it out.

Reg:
Nice try, kid. I know it's you.

Drifter:
What're you talking about? [Reg pulls his hair, but it's real hair]

Reg:
[pulls the drifter's hair, but it's his real hair] Aha!

SpongeBob:
[enters, wearing a rainbow afro clown wig] Hey, everybody, what's goin' on?

[Reg tries to fix the drifter's hair]

Dutchman:
I’ve been thinkin'. STOP BOUNCIN'!! [they both stop] This whole crew for eternity thing isn't working out...It's not really you so much as it is me.

SpongeBob:
You're setting us free?

Dutchman:
Well actually, I'm just gonna eat you. See you at dinner. [leaves]

Elderly fish:
Yes?

SpongeBob:
Hello, young lady. [winks at Patrick, who chuckles] We're selling chocolate. [sultry] Is your mother home?

Elderly fish:
MOM!

[Her mother, a shriveled up lump of dust, enters]

Mother:
What, what, what's all the yelling?! You just can't wait for me to die, can you?!

Elderly fish:
They're selling chocolate.

Mother:
Chocolate?

Elderly fish:
Yeah!

Mother:
What, what are they selling?!

Elderly fish:
Chocolates!

Mother:
What?!

Elderly fish:
CHOCOLATES!

Mother:
I can't hear you!

Elderly fish:
THEY'RE SELLING CHOCOLATES!!

Mother:
They're selling chocolate?

Elderly fish:
Yeah!

Mother:
Chocolate. I remember when they first invented chocolate. Sweet, sweet chocolate. I always hated it!

SpongeBob:
Oh, but this chocolate's not for eating. It's for...

Patrick:
You rub it on your skin and it makes you live forever!

Mother:
Live forever, ya say? I'll take one!

[The elderly fish slaps her; she goes back inside as the elderly fish pays SpongeBob]

Mother:
Come on, you lazy Mary! Start rubbing me with that chocolate! [pops out] I hate you.

Evelyn:
Can you tell me where the forks are?

SpongeBob:
Right here.

Evelyn:
But this is a spoon.

SpongeBob:
[giggles] April Fools!

Everyone inside:
Eat him! Eat him!

SpongeBob:
[gets an idea] Ooh, I know! I'll try the soothing power of music... [gets out a ukulele with "Love" and a heart symbol written on it and starts playing a tune] Ohhh... [The ukulele strings break off as he uses the pick on a first try] Awww, rats! [The usage of "Awww" triggers the robot and causes him to eat SpongeBob, who falls inside and screams until he lands on his face. He gets his face up off the ground and looks around in confusion. Everyone is cheering upon his arrival]

Mr. Krabs:
Yeah, yeah, good boy!

SpongeBob:
A surprise party... for me?!

Plankton:
[gets off from underneath SpongeBob and grunts] This isn't a party, you boob.

SpongeBob:
Well why did everyone cheer when I showed up?!

Mr. Krabs:
Because with you, we can finally reach the emergency escape uvular! [Mr. Krabs points up to the uvular] Alright, let's try it again, people! [Everyone piles up again]

Fish:
He can do it! He can do it!

[SpongeBob climbs up and stands on Patrick's back to grab the uvular. As he attempts to grab it, his arms are too short. Suddenly, a shaking sound is heard, implying something big. The height of the pile towers up, and SpongeBob tries again. He finally succeeds in grabbing the uvular and causes the robot to spin around and malfunction. A circular opening in the robot's butt is shown with everyone squished up inside. Everyone inside is freed and released into the sky as fireworks as Q.T.-π collapses. The fish from before are launched back onto the rollercoaster and cheer. Everyone else falls back onto the ground, while Squidward falls into the ice cream cart]

Mr. Krabs:
We did it! We escaped!

Plankton:
[shown between Mr. Krabs' butt cheeks] And I got us sent to Glove World! for free. You're wel-come!

Evil Witch:
[reading the directions on Mr. Krabs' cookbook] A cup of milk? Two eggs? A loaf of bread? And kelp sugar? Eh, all right. [puts the ingredients in a cauldron] Shoo. [a plate of French toast floats up] French toast? [taps her wand in the green substance and hash browns, quiche, and huevos rancheros float up] Hash browns? Quiche? Huevos rancheros? What the heck? What's wrong with this blasted spellbook? [grabs the cookbook and reads the name] "Uncle Jimmy's Breakfast Magic"? It's a cookbook! Oh... I better find out who got my spell book, and fast. [the plate of quiche bumps into her arm] Huh? Right [the wand transforms into a fork] after I finish my quiche.

[Bubble transition back to inside the Krusty Krab, where the customers are still in the breakfast transformations with SpongeBob, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs in worry.]

Squidward:
Why is this happening?

SpongeBob:
Maybe all the weird stuff I've been cooking caused all of this. [Squidward looks at him unamused, and SpongeBob chuckles nervously] Would explain the [the Necronomicon book flies out the order window] cauldron too. [points to the Necronomicon flying] And the flying cookbook.

[The cookbook flies to the front of the restaurant and emits a green light, which grabs various breakfast items to create a body.]

SpongeBob:
[as the cookbook forms the items into a body]'" The cookbook is using tasty breakfast treats to create a monster!

[The cookbook roars and everyone in the restaurant screams. The Evil Witch appears with a purple cloud emit.]

Evil Witch:
Oh, so this is where my spell book went.

[The breakfast monster kicks barrels and a table away, breaks off another table and throws it at SpongeBob, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs - which they duck.]

Mr. Krabs:
Ooh, a customer! Take her order, Squidward.

Evil Witch:
Uh, thanks, but I couldn't eat another bite! [belches] I'm here to swap books with ya. I think my spell book got mixed with your cookbook.

Factory Worker:
We're closed! Do I have to spell it out for you? C-S-L-O-S-Z-E-D. Cuh-losed! Not only that, but the very last box of Snail Bites shipped out days ago! They were such a hit they flew out of the stores and now, we've run out of ingredients! From what I hear, the owner even dropped out of the snail food business entirely! Yeah and why wouldn't he, huh? He's made his money!

SpongeBob:
You see, Gary? There are no more-

Factory Worker:
I mean, it's not like I would do the same thing if I were in his shoes!

SpongeBob:
So, you see, Gary, there...

Factory Worker:
Why would anybody go out punishing themselves, just for the sake of the happiness of a few pets or...

SpongeBob:
Would you mind being quiet for one second, please!

Factory Worker:
Sorry.

Fish:
That squirrel's gone crazy!

Girl Fish:
But she'll never look under a rock.

SpongeBob:
[laughs] You said it! Sandy'll never find us!

Fish:
This shake is disgusting! Why, you probably don't even have a license to milkshake!

SpongeBob:
A license to milkshake? Well, of course I do, silly! And it doesn't expire until... [looks at his license] ...seven years ago!?

Flying Dutchman:
Give me back my sock! Everyone knows I can't eat without it!

Spongebob:
Never!

Flying Dutchman:
[menacingly] Okay, then... [shoots fire from nose at Spongebob]

Spongebob raises sock in front of fire, making the Dutchman stop and suck it back in. He then grabs the sock and begins a tug-o-war with Spongebob.

Flying Dutchman:
Ah, ooh, give it to me!

Spongebob:
NO! [ripping sound]

Flying Dutchman:
Wait! You're stretching out the elastic!

Flying Dutchman:
What a night. Crew, howl with me so that we might set the Seven Seas ablazed with fear!

Flying Dutchman:
Awoooooooooo!

SpongeBob:
[laughing] Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Patrick:
Leedleedleedleedlee

Flying Dutchman:
Awoooooooooo!

SpongeBob:
[laughing] Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Patrick:
Leedleedleedleedlee

Flying Dutchman:
Aa.....

Patrick:
Leeoooloodloooooleeaaaleeee

Flying Dutchman:
Aa.....

Patrick:
Looooleeeeaaabbbaaaaddaaaaaaaaaaa

Pause. Spongebob and Flying Dutchman look at Patrick

Flying Dutchman:
Eh.Tha'll do.

Flying Dutchman:
[green fog passes by his ship while he steers his ship] Curse this cursed, ghostly fog. I can barely see past me own nose. [gas is sprayed in his eyes] Urrgh! [screams after noticing the unseen cliff, only seen seconds after; then the ship is split in half after it runs into a cliff. The Flying Dutchman falls down the cliff, falling through a basketball hoop before hitting the ground; the ship falls onto of him into pieces then he crawls out] Me ship. [his ship turns into dust. His hat floats gently down, and he picks it up. He then gets out his cell phone to dial the Roadside Assistance] Hello, Roadside Assistance? I've got a bit of a flat! My location where I'll be staying? Business or residence? [sees SpongeBob go into his house] Residence.

Flying Dutchman:
Listen! Were going on a little haunting spree, so I want this ship to look good, and scary.

Spongebob:
You mean you want it to look good,.... and scary. I think we could probably.....

Patrick:
No,no, I think he wants it to look so good, that it's scary

Spongebob:
Or maybe that by looking so scary, you forget that it doesn't look good.

Patrick:
I don't get it

Spongebob:
Look, it's easy, it simply means that....

Flying Dutchman:
[Really annoyed] NEVERMIND WHAT IT MEANS!!!!!! I JUST WANT IT TO LOOK SCARY!! THATS IT! You know mold, growing on the ceilings, and bugs in the sink.

Spongebob:
So you don't what it to look good.

Flying Dutchman:
GET MOVIN!!!!!!!!

Spongebob and Patrick:
[Really scared, singing, and swabbing the deck] A sailor's life is a wonderful life, a wonderful life ashore!!

Forest Ranger:
Okay, Magic Conch, what do we do now?

Magic Conch:
Nothing.

Spongebob, Patrick & Forest Ranger:
All hail the Magic Conch!(sit down and do nothing)

Squidward:
[looks defeated and exhausted] All... hail... the Magic Conch!(sits down with them)

Francis:
He kept us waiting for a bubble?

Larry:
That's nothing! He called us fat! [begins crunching on celery stalks along with others]

Pearl:
[crying as she shows her clean flipper] He washed my flipper!

Mr. Krabs:
[storming up] He owes me money!

Squidward:
[following Mr. Krabs] He made me provide excellent service!

Scooter:
[appears with a halo and angel clothing on] Dudes! He made me experience high tide! [floats up towards the surface while laughing]

Tom:
He poisoned our water supply, burned our crops and delivered a plague unto our houses!

Protesters:
He did?

Tom:
No... But are we just gonna wait around until he does?

Mr. Krabs:
I say we tip somethin' over! [all yelling]

Lifeguard:
[everyone tips the lifeguard stand] Hey!

Protester:
Now what?

Protesters:
Get the lifeguard! [they go to the lifeguard, but Squidward stops them]

Squidward:
Wait! Don't waste this senseless violence on him! It's that stupid bubble of SpongeBob's that's causing all the problems! [holds up a needle] Who's with me?

Protesters:
[all hold a needle] Pop the bubble!

Francis:
[in a poor imitation of SpongeBob] I'm ready! I'm ready!

Sandy:
No, you ain't! :[Clay holds up a box of Kelp-O]

Clay:
I found SquareBob!

Sandy:
That's just a cereal box. Besides, he's yellow.

Charlie:
[holds up a banana] Uh... here he is! Hey, can I go home now? [Sandy becomes annoyed]

Tina:
[points up] Oh, look! He's up in the sky! [Sandy happily looks up, but SpongeBob's not in the sky]

Sandy:
He's not... huh? [everyone is gone] They must have gone to search some more.