Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #109

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 6,915 quotes total — keep up the great work!

[while one of the students and teachers are still inside of the Think Tank]

Crystal:
Is this one of my ambien dreams?

Dr. Falgot:
I found a crap bucket.

Cravid:
[holding his stomach] Oh, uh-oh. I don't want to be first, but I need to be first. Chili dogs.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Matt Attack:
This damn town has too many people, and I can't get drunk anymore.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Dean:
Mayor, you got me droned along with you sorry ass. Damn thing's surveilling me 42/7.

Mayor:
Mayor knows that! You sure these are the best guys for the Think Tank?

Dean:
You can't have a team full of Babe Ruths.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Pony:
Geez, how many people can you pack into a place?

Baby Cakes:
Well, that depends on if the place has walls or not.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Frank Smith:
[to Sunshine] Hi. HEY, GIRL! Hi.

Sunshine:
Oh, hey there. Sorry. Can't get this metal goober to shoot.

Frank Smith:
Okay, look, I know a little someone who...loves you, okay? And this is a little picture of him, and I want you to f--- Just look at it.

[Sunshine sees a picture of Hoh-Hoh]

Sunshine:
Oh, my god. Look at him. I'd just love to cuddle up with that little bugger.

Frank Smith:
[chuckles] Really? Are you f***ing kidding me?

Sunshine:
Oh, he's just like a little jackrabbit I had back on the farm. Ooh! Just want to stuff him in my muffin.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Ronald Reagan:
[on phone] Gov, it's Dutch. Come up with a f***ing fix for the overpopulation problem for me. I need a real deal solution. And I'm droning your ass until I get one!

[Governor calls Mayor]

Mayor:
This a man or a woman?

Governor:
Meh! It's a man! Your Gov, and I need you to come up with a solution to the world's overpopulation problem now! And I'm droning your ass until you fix this! Ah!

[Mayor calls Dean]

Mayor:
Dean got to figure out the world's overpopulation problem! Gov got a drone up ass until mayor come up with a solution!

Dean:
Hold on, hold on. This can be fun. I'm The Dean of a college, dude. I'll put together a think tank.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Frank Smith:
Steve! I've picked my two, and I am going to win this year, brother of mine.

Pony:
Win what? Wait, what is this?

Frank Smith:
Well, bitch, every semester we pick two students for each other.

Steve Smith:
Then the first of us to get his two students to have sex wins.

Pony:
...This is gross. [leaves the room]

Baby Cakes:
Hold on! We could do chickies or we could do fishies.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Baby Cakes:
We could do chickies, or we could do fishes.

Pony:
You're indecisive about things that aren't even decisions. [to Steve] He sat in the office bathroom for at least two hours giggling.

Baby Cakes:
I can't decide between the toilet or the urinal or a pile of towels.

Pony:
People have needs! Bathroom needs.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Ronald Reagan:
Hey, America. You know how there are just too many people on the planet? Yeah, well I'm gonna do you guys a favor and come up with a real deal solution for it. That's just the kind of f***ing cowboy I am.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Ronald Reagan:
Boy-oh, these low approval ratings got me crapping silly string.

Special Agent Green:
Oh, believe me. I know, President Reagan. Uh, it's just...a steep adjustment curve. The fact that you're not dead, that you're...magically president for the rest of your life, uh...Obama's disappearance...

Ronald Reagan:
Oh, man. They should just get over it.

Special Agent Green:
Ah! God damn right. Well, it might be time to focus on a social issue.

Ronald Reagan:
Yeah, you know what irks me? There's too many damn people around.

Special Agent Green:
Well, that's a tricky one, because --

Ronald Reagan:
[to cameraman] Hit the camera, sh*t eyes!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Matt Attack:
Man, these classes are getting too full. It ruins the educational intimacy. Even your crappy brother's class is full of folks.

[cuts to the next scene where Frank's class has a bunch of students in it making ruckus]

Frank Smith:
HEY! LISTEN TO ME, YOU RAT DICKS!

Matt Attack:
It's too crowded, man.

Steve Smith:
You're right, Matt. I am the cooler brother.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Captain's Daughter:
Oh, Uncle Gabby, I thought you said I was beautiful.

Drinky Crow & Uncle Gabby:
[bowed down to her] Captain's Daughter.

Drinky Crow:
She's real. Why not mermaids?

Uncle Gabby:
Mermaids are stupid. Captain Daughter -- For you, I make and exception. Hey, here's an idea. I give you this whale-blubber sandwich, you let me kiss you in three places. I pick the places.

Captain's Daughter:
Naughty monkey. [laughs while bruising Uncle Gabby with a baseball bat]

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Uncle Gabby:
[to Drinky Crow] If it's horrible, it exists. If it's beautiful, you're imagining it.

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[after Uncle Gabby saves Drinky Crow from drowning himself to death]

Drinky Crow:
You won't believe what I just saw, Uncle Gabby. I'm so aroused. I must kiss something. LET ME KISS YOU!

[Drinky Crow tackles Uncle Gabby to kiss him]

Uncle Gabby:
Mouth-to-mouth is strictly medical. What the hell?!

Drinky Crow:
I SAW A MERMAID!

Uncle Gabby:
Crap. Brain damage. Don't hunt me down for vengeance, Husband Whale. Caring for my gimpy-minded friend is punishment enough.

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[after Uncle Gabby killed the female whale]

Uncle Gabby:
Uh-oh, the whale's husband! If he loved his wife at all, he'll hunt us down and mash us both dead with his awful baleen teeth.

Uncle Gabby:
They're like that, whales -- Very gigantic, very romantic.

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Drinky Crow:
I wish I was dead.

Uncle Gabby:
Why would that be so great?

Drinky Crow:
Well, the pain would stop.

Uncle Gabby:
No, it wouldn't. I believe after death, we're subjected to horrible tortures...of the sexual variety.

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Phoebe:
Oh, Drinky Crow, I love you, but you have to choose between me and the drinking. Please, say something.

Drinky Crow:
[vomits his wife]

The Drinky Crow Show  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[after Greg and Susan Shapiro got done watching Jon's video, Susan found Jon's ski mask]

Greg DiPietro:
What are you gonna do with that?

Susan Shapiro:
You know -- And I know this is gonna sound ridiculous -- But I would like try and get it into the Smithsonian. You know, next to Archie Bunker's chair, Fonzie's jacket. For better or for worse, he was an indelible part of pop culture americana, and this mask is part of that history. [sees Jon on TV] Oh, hey -- There's the Smithsonian. [throw Jon's ski mask into the trash]

Delocated  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[after Jon killed Sergei, Jon sent them a goodbye message to his crew that helped them along the way]

Jon:
I cannot undo all the evil that has been done, and I will not be returning to America and the life I once knew. You know, I kind of figured we'd follow me and David into hiding. That seemed like the next logical step for the show. Either that or we got to L.A. I thought that was a pretty solid option, you know. Set us up in a pretty sweet little bungalow in Venice Beach. Just kick back and reap the rewards of my celeb status. Phone call comes in from you -- "Jon, got some good news. Guess who wants to do a sitcom with you. Richard Belzer". BOOM! Jonny and The Belz! Primetime thursday nights!

Jon:
Oh, man. Well, all that's never gonna happen. Instead, I'm gonna disappear forever. You'll never find me. I guarantee it. All that's left is one final step to start the beginning of my new life.

[Jon takes off his ski mask starting his new life from now on]

Jon:
Frrrrrrrrrt! Oh, but you what -- If Richard Belzer does get in touch, you have got to find me. Do whatever you go to do to find me, because that is the only way I'd come back -- Is for The Belz. FOR THE BELZ!

Delocated  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Jon:
[to Sergei] Two broken arms...one broken leg. I can't think of a more perfect way for you to die...like a ham on rye! Had to get in one final rhyme. Your screams are like music to my ears.

Jon:
As we all know, a scream is just a loud moan. Welcome to the Moan Zone.

Delocated  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Jon:
You love that knife so much, why don't you marry it? Then her name could be Mrs. Sergei Asshole.

Delocated  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

Jon:
Float like a butterfly, sting like a frrt!

Delocated  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[Jon and Sergei fight while talking]

Jon:
Oh! Jonny headbutt!

Sergei:
I taught you well.

Jon:
Yes, you did. And now it's time to say farewell. Oh! See what I did there? I took your dumb line and I made it rhyme. Oh! Look at that I made that one rhyme. Extry! Extry! Read all about it! This guy can rhyme, and there's no doubt about it!

Sergei:
You just rhymed "about it" with "about it"!

Jon:
So what, dude? It's called Poetic Freedom.

Sergei:
You mean "License'.

Jon:
No, I mean "Freedom" -- Like freedom for you to die. Bye-bye!

Delocated  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

[as Jon and Sergei were about to fight, Sergei takes off pants]

Jon:
Ooh. Underwear fight. No probskis. Little skin-on-skin combat. Why not? [takes off his pants] Check out these sweet snugs. Not bad, right? Pretty good. Yeah, it's a pretty solid brief. Yeah, check this out. I picked up a couple other pair. Couple colors here. Got black. You can't go wrong with black. It's a classic, sexy look. Got navy. Maroon's pretty sweet. I also got this pattern here. They had this other one -- It was like this orange. Had an off-green. You wouldn't think that color combo would work, but it TOTALLY DOES!

Delocated  Movie Quote

added 5 months ago

We need you!

Help us build the largest authors community and quotes collection on the web!

Quiz

Are you a quotes master?

»
"Time spent with cats is never wasted." is widely attributed to?
A Ellen Degeneres
B Robin Williams
C Sigmund Freud
D Kelly Clarkson