Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #112

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104 — There are currently 6,984 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Pony: Geez, how many people can you pack into a place? Baby Cakes: Well, that depends on if the place has walls or not. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Frank Smith: [to Sunshine] Hi. HEY, GIRL! Hi. Sunshine: Oh, hey there. Sorry. Can't get this metal goober to shoot. Frank Smith: Okay, look, I know a little someone who...loves you, okay? And this is a little picture of him, and I want you to f--- Just look at it. [Sunshine sees a picture of Hoh-Hoh] Sunshine: Oh, my god. Look at him. I'd just love to cuddle up with that little bugger. Frank Smith: [chuckles] Really? Are you f*ing kidding me? Sunshine: Oh, he's just like a little jackrabbit I had back on the farm. Ooh! Just want to stuff him in my muffin. – China, Il** Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Ronald Reagan: [on phone] Gov, it's Dutch. Come up with a f*ing fix for the overpopulation problem for me. I need a real deal solution. And I'm droning your ass until I get one! [Governor calls Mayor] Mayor: This a man or a woman? Governor: Meh! It's a man! Your Gov, and I need you to come up with a solution to the world's overpopulation problem now! And I'm droning your ass until you fix this! Ah! [Mayor calls Dean] Mayor: Dean got to figure out the world's overpopulation problem! Gov got a drone up ass until mayor come up with a solution! Dean: Hold on, hold on. This can be fun. I'm The Dean of a college, dude. I'll put together a think tank. – China, Il** Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Frank Smith: Steve! I've picked my two, and I am going to win this year, brother of mine. Pony: Win what? Wait, what is this? Frank Smith: Well, bitch, every semester we pick two students for each other. Steve Smith: Then the first of us to get his two students to have sex wins. Pony: ...This is gross. [leaves the room] Baby Cakes: Hold on! We could do chickies or we could do fishies. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Baby Cakes: We could do chickies, or we could do fishes. Pony: You're indecisive about things that aren't even decisions. [to Steve] He sat in the office bathroom for at least two hours giggling. Baby Cakes: I can't decide between the toilet or the urinal or a pile of towels. Pony: People have needs! Bathroom needs. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Ronald Reagan: Hey, America. You know how there are just too many people on the planet? Yeah, well I'm gonna do you guys a favor and come up with a real deal solution for it. That's just the kind of f*ing cowboy I am. – China, Il** Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Ronald Reagan: Boy-oh, these low approval ratings got me crapping silly string. Special Agent Green: Oh, believe me. I know, President Reagan. Uh, it's just...a steep adjustment curve. The fact that you're not dead, that you're...magically president for the rest of your life, uh...Obama's disappearance... Ronald Reagan: Oh, man. They should just get over it. Special Agent Green: Ah! God damn right. Well, it might be time to focus on a social issue. Ronald Reagan: Yeah, you know what irks me? There's too many damn people around. Special Agent Green: Well, that's a tricky one, because -- Ronald Reagan: [to cameraman] Hit the camera, sht eyes! – China, Il* Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Matt Attack: Man, these classes are getting too full. It ruins the educational intimacy. Even your crappy brother's class is full of folks. [cuts to the next scene where Frank's class has a bunch of students in it making ruckus] Frank Smith: HEY! LISTEN TO ME, YOU RAT DICKS! Matt Attack: It's too crowded, man. Steve Smith: You're right, Matt. I am the cooler brother. – China, Il Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Captain's Daughter: Oh, Uncle Gabby, I thought you said I was beautiful. Drinky Crow & Uncle Gabby: [bowed down to her] Captain's Daughter. Drinky Crow: She's real. Why not mermaids? Uncle Gabby: Mermaids are stupid. Captain Daughter -- For you, I make and exception. Hey, here's an idea. I give you this whale-blubber sandwich, you let me kiss you in three places. I pick the places. Captain's Daughter: Naughty monkey. [laughs while bruising Uncle Gabby with a baseball bat] – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Uncle Gabby: [to Drinky Crow] If it's horrible, it exists. If it's beautiful, you're imagining it. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
[after Uncle Gabby saves Drinky Crow from drowning himself to death] Drinky Crow: You won't believe what I just saw, Uncle Gabby. I'm so aroused. I must kiss something. LET ME KISS YOU! [Drinky Crow tackles Uncle Gabby to kiss him] Uncle Gabby: Mouth-to-mouth is strictly medical. What the hell?! Drinky Crow: I SAW A MERMAID! Uncle Gabby: Crap. Brain damage. Don't hunt me down for vengeance, Husband Whale. Caring for my gimpy-minded friend is punishment enough. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
[after Uncle Gabby killed the female whale] Uncle Gabby: Uh-oh, the whale's husband! If he loved his wife at all, he'll hunt us down and mash us both dead with his awful baleen teeth. Uncle Gabby: They're like that, whales -- Very gigantic, very romantic. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Drinky Crow: I wish I was dead. Uncle Gabby: Why would that be so great? Drinky Crow: Well, the pain would stop. Uncle Gabby: No, it wouldn't. I believe after death, we're subjected to horrible tortures...of the sexual variety. – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Phoebe: Oh, Drinky Crow, I love you, but you have to choose between me and the drinking. Please, say something. Drinky Crow: [vomits his wife] – The Drinky Crow Show Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
[after Greg and Susan Shapiro got done watching Jon's video, Susan found Jon's ski mask] Greg DiPietro: What are you gonna do with that? Susan Shapiro: You know -- And I know this is gonna sound ridiculous -- But I would like to try and get it into the Smithsonian. You know, next to Archie Bunker's chair, Fonzie's jacket. For better or for worse, he was an indelible part of pop culture americana, and this mask is part of that history. [sees Jon on TV] Oh, hey -- There's the Smithsonian. [throw Jon's ski mask into the trash] – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
[after Jon killed Sergei, Jon sent them a goodbye message to his crew that helped him along the way] Jon: I cannot undo all the evil that has been done, and I will not be returning to America and the life I once knew. You know, I kind of figured we'd follow me and David into hiding. That seemed like the next logical step for the show. Either that or we got to L.A. I thought that was a pretty solid option, you know. Set us up in a pretty sweet little bungalow in Venice Beach. Just kick back and reap the rewards of my celeb status. Phone call comes in from you -- "Jon, got some good news. Guess who wants to do a sitcom with you. Richard Belzer". BOOM! Jonny and The Belz! Primetime Thursday nights! Jon: Oh, man. Well, all that's never gonna happen. Instead, I'm gonna disappear forever. You'll never find me. I guarantee it. All that's left is one final step to start the beginning of my new life. [Jon takes off his ski mask starting his new life from now on] Jon: Frrrrrrrrrt! Oh, but you know what -- If Richard Belzer does get in touch, you have got to find me. Do whatever you got to do to find me, because that is the only way I'd come back -- Is for The Belz. FOR THE BELZ! – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Jon: [to Sergei] Two broken arms...one broken leg. I can't think of a more perfect way for you to die...like a ham on rye! Had to get in one final rhyme. Your screams are like music to my ears. Jon: As we all know, a scream is just a loud moan. Welcome to the Moan Zone. – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Jon: You love that knife so much, why don't you marry it? Then her name could be Mrs. Sergei Asshole. – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Jon: Float like a butterfly, sting like a frrt! – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
[Jon and Sergei fight while talking] Jon: Oh! Jonny headbutt! Sergei: I taught you well. Jon: Yes, you did. And now it's time to say farewell. Oh! See what I did there? I took your dumb line and I made it rhyme. Oh! Look at that I made that one rhyme. Extry! Extry! Read all about it! This guy can rhyme, and there's no doubt about it! Sergei: You just rhymed "about it" with "about it"! Jon: So what, dude? It's called Poetic Freedom. Sergei: You mean "License'. Jon: No, I mean "Freedom" -- Like freedom for you to die. Bye-bye! – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
[as Jon and Sergei were about to fight, Sergei takes off pants] Jon: Ooh. Underwear fight. No probskis. Little skin-on-skin combat. Why not? [takes off his pants] Check out these sweet snugs. Not bad, right? Pretty good. Yeah, it's a pretty solid brief. Yeah, check this out. I picked up a couple other pair. Couple colors here. Got black. You can't go wrong with black. It's a classic, sexy look. Got navy. Maroon's pretty sweet. I also got this pattern here. They had this other one -- It was like this orange. Had an off-green. You wouldn't think that color combo would work, but it TOTALLY DOES! – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
[Jon meet his match with Sergei] Jon: David is dead. Sergei: Good. But you're supposed to stay in America and exist the rest of pathetic life in misery. Jon: Change of plans, dude. Broke your mind hex. Brainwashing is no match for a father's love for his son. Sergei: His dead son. Jon: Yes. Unfortunately, David was killed before I could break the hex. But the student has returned. Only, now I am the master. Sergei: Does that make me student? Do I need student I.D.? Jon: Yeah! Jon: I mean, no. You don't need an I.D., but yeah, you're the student. And you're going down! Sergei: If I'm going down, then what's up with you? Jon: Shut up! Your mind games won't work on me anymore. You're about to be killed by the killing machine you created, asshole. – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
Jon: [singing] Going on a hike. I did not bring my bike. If I got poison ivy, that, I would not like. Especially if it was on my dick. Unh! – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago
[Jon tells his son to runaway after he killed his bodyguard that he didn't meant to do when he got brainwashed] David: WHY ARE YOU CHASING ME?! Jon: I DON'T KNOW! David: HOW'D YOU LEARN THOSE MOVES TO KILL T.B.? Jon: I DON'T KNOW! HEY, I WENT BY MY OLD LOFT! WHERE'S ALL MY STUFF?! LIKE, WHERE'S MY FERRERI POSTER?! David: I HAVE IT! Jon: OKAY, GOOD! GOOD! 'CAUSE I WANTED TO PASS IT DOWN TO YOU SO YOU COULD EVENTUALLY PASS IT ON TO YOUR SON...OR DAUGHTER! [Jon still chasing his son in the woods] Jon: Or if you don't want kids, that's okay! I'll support that choice best I can as a father! David: No, I want to have kids! Jon: Great! Oh, and by the way, if you ever get the chance, you absolutely have to go to Iceland at some point! Place is filled with 10s! You'll bone a 10 every night! David: Awesome! I'll think about it! – Delocated Movie Quote	added 6 months ago

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