Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #110

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 6,261 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Dean:
Okay! Chainsaw battle time! [laughs]

Stacy:
[worried] Where's Frank? He was supposed to teach us about the Panama Canal!

Dean:
What do you think this is about? What do you think anything's about?! Is the snake like a river, the river like a snake? Everything is everything. It is what it is. This is Panama!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[Baby Cakes saved Frank and Ronald Reagan by using an propane bottle]

Ronald Reagan:
B.C., you're a regular Lindbergh! Frank, he saved us! Thank his ass!

Frank Smith:
[quietly] Thank you.

Baby Cakes:
Hey, we're a team. What did you expect?

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[Frank sees a bird eye view of Thomas Jefferson as a map in New Orleans]

Frank Smith:
Are those streets supposed to be...tongues licking him?

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[Baby Cakes sees a statue of Thomas Jefferson]

Baby Cakes:
Hey, wait a minute. It's a 3-D $2 bill.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Ronald Reagan:
How's your drink, Baby Doll?

Baby Cakes:
Awesome. It's like 90% sugar.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Polly:
My husband would cook my goose if he knew how much pussy I'm getting here.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[meanwhile the students are doing gladiator training that Dean pulled up]

Dean:
Good leaping, there, Johnson!

Matt Attack:
Man, I told you! My name is "Matt".

Dean:
Nope. You're all Johnsons. Ah, got to do a bell curve up in here now -- Find the top Johnson. Tomorrow will suck.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Frank Smith:
Here's a little something for your trouble.

Ronald Reagan:
40 bucks?!

Baby Cakes:
Hey, where's mine?

Frank Smith:
I TOLD YOU TO GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE, B.C.!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Ronald Reagan:
You really had some moves back there, hairless.

Baby Cakes:
And you had a great impersonation of Kenny G!

Ronald Reagan:
[laughs] Oh, you're a f***ing weird egg.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Government Spy:
Sons of Jeffer, I believe we have some...snoopy poopies, over.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[Ronald Reagan gets access into Jefferson's room]

Ronald Reagan:
Looks like this was Jefferson's private jack-off room.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[Ronald Reagan disguises as President Clinton to get into Jefferson's private sanctuary]

Security Guard:
President Clinton? You usually arrive at 3:00. It's noon.

Ronald Reagan:
Well, that's because I...that's because I...

Baby Cakes:
[on headphones] Ask him if he likes to party!

Frank Smith:
[on headphones] Abort that order! No, don't abort the mission, though! Okay, j...just hold on! Okay, think Clinton stuff. Um...say you're getting a blow job later!

Ronald Reagan:
Something came up. I got to give a lady the old "Arkansas Toothpick".

Frank & Baby Cakes:
[sighs]

Baby Cakes:
Oh, that's close.

Frank Smith:
GET OUT! GET OUT! You are off the mission.

Baby Cakes:
But I'm Morgan Freeman!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[Baby Cakes sees a wanted poster of Ronald Reagan]

Baby Cakes:
[to Ronald] Wait a second. Are you famous?

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[Pony and Crystal punches Steve]

Pony:
What the hell happened? Where's Frank?

Steve Smith:
I don't know! I called him a hundred times! I had to take her out last night.

Crystal:
Oh, did you give her what she wanted, or...

Steve Smith:
I don't know. I-I think I pissed her off. Sh-she said it was fine, but she didn't mean it was fine.

Crystal:
Oh, I didn't think you had any issue with the whole "Blowing the client for the good of the firm" thing.

Steve Smith:
No, I didn't have to blow her or anything.

Pony:
Didn't have to blow her?! Then what was the problem?

Crystal:
We'll lose our jobs!

Sammy:
Who did not f*** that bitch?

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Dean:
Alright, guys. We don't know where Frank is, so I'll be your teacher today. Where did you leave off?

Matt Attack:
Man, he was telling us about an indian girl who got in a van with two leather homies who were on a road trip.

Pemsy:
[chuckles] No, Matt, it was Lewis and Clark meeting Sacagawea. Hello?

Dean:
Okay, I'm gonna need the two strongest guys to come up here and take their shirts off. No eye-pokes, ball-tearing, or biting. Everything else is on-limits.

Student:
[laughter]

Dean:
[brutally lifts a desk] SHIRTS OFF!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Baby Cakes:
[imitates walkie-talkie] Commencing Phase 9 of Operation Shankshaw. Morgan Freeman out.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Frank Smith:
No surprises, okay, B.C.?

Baby Cakes:
Uh-huh.

Frank Smith:
We break into this prison, and we stick to the plan.

Baby Cakes:
Oh, I got it! It's a reverse "Shawshank". It's a shankshaw. I'm Morgan Freeman, and you're the whiny honky.

Frank Smith:
Oh, my god! You're such an idiot!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Frank Smith:
Okay, Frankie -- 1, get the stencil, 2, find the diamond castle, 3, get my diamond castle special on the History Channel, and, 4, eat every vagina in the land!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Steve Smith:
Listen, everybody -- We're gonna get our annual surprise inspection tomorrow from the College Association of America.

Crystal:
Honestly, how does this department get accredited?

Steve Smith:
Well, turns out Frank is tight with the inspector. She's this old broad, comes into town, wants a fun trip, and Frank somehow...provides.

Crystal:
So...Frank's like a secretary who blows the client for the good of the firm?

Steve Smith:
Hey, he gets our accreditation somehow, alright? And I don't see what the big deal is. I mean, I'd do it.

Pony:
Well then why don't you do it?

Steve Smith:
Hey, for some reason she likes Frank more.

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Flip Flop:
Yo, check it. I'm about to fill your head with some liquid gold. Planet Earth, a long time ago, my great-great-grandad was a janitor at this place, Monticello. It was there that he learned about Jefferson's fabled diamond castle, which Jefferson built in a place nobody could find. Across America are hidden clues and a secret map to its location. BAM! Jefferson's also on the $2 bill. Please take one as a report favor. Peace.

Frank Smith:
That was...dumbest sh*t I've ever heard in my entire life. Put it in the trash where it belongs. I SAID PUT IT IN THERE! I WANT TO SEE YOU DO IT!

[as the school bell rings, and all the students walked away from Frank's classroom]

Frank Smith:
[grabs the papers that Flip got in the trash] Aah! Oh, my god! Oh, my god! This is just what I've been waiting for!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Steve Smith:
Hey, new guy. I think you look more like Carabas there than you do me.

Another Steve Lookalike:
F*** off! I'm way hotter!

Carabas:
I am nothing like him. I am special!

Carabas & Another Steve Lookalike:
NO ONE IS LIKE ME!

[then Another Steve Lookalike tackles Carabas into another fireplace burning themselves]

Steve Smith:
YES! LAST OF THE MOHICANS!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[Grace came back and see his sister have sex with Frank]

Grace:
Helen! Stealing all the attention once again!

Helen:
One must steal all they can get, living with you!

[Grace and Helen uses fire poker sticks to fight to the death]

Grace:
Here we are again, just like gin-drunk college girls on that fateful christmas, fighting for daddy!

Helen:
It was obvious on his face that you made him uncomfortable, touching him like a whore! As you know, Frank.

Grace:
Well, I always heard daddy telling mama how scared he was that you would say something inappropriate to him in front of company! He was afraid you'd paint a wrong and terrible picture. Frank, this you know. I-I'm sorry to reiterate.

Helen:
Well, I read his diary. All he wanted was for you to grow up and find a man to release your sexual frustrations upon! YOU CREEPED HIM OUT!

Grace:
TO DADDY, THEN!

[Grace tackles Helen into the fireplace, burning themselves for their daddy]

Frank Smith:
GODDAMN IT!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Carabas:
Get out of my store!

Steve:
Ah, it's my store. I f***ing love it now.

Carabas:
I thought you hated ancient astronaut theorists.

Steve:
ALRIGHT! IT HAS NEVER BEEN ABOUT THAT! I HATE YOU because you look like me! I AM NOT TOTALLY COOL WITH IT, ALRIGHT?

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Orange Beard Man:
Carabas! Thursday's talk was...it was illuminating! I was so inspired! I went and built a treehouse for my penis!

China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

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