Blue Shirt Guy:
I can't take it anymore. Open your mouth.
[Blue Shirt Guy forcefully put pills into Shamus' mouth by becoming good and clearing all of his blackness away]
Xavier:
What are you doing to the boy's mouth?!
Shamus:
Mommy, daddy, I sorry I hurt you. I won't anymore. Can I have more pills?
Pink Shirt Woman:
Yes, have all you want, son.
Xavier:
Pills. You can't swallow your way to happiness. You couldn't even swallow your way out of a bus-station bathroom. What are these pills?
Blue Shirt Guy:
Fiddelin. Don't worry -- They're spiritually based drugs. Look.
[Blue Shirt Guy plays the Fiddelin commercial on TV]
Fiddelin Announcer:
Recent science has discovered that, for thousand of years, tibetan monks used gutteral prayer chants to sooth their yellow souls in the yellow face of their yellow oppressors.
Fiddelin Announcer:
But in our sophisticated world.. [pans to the next scene where a fat guy watching tv eating junk food] Who has time for that noise?
Fiddelin Announcer:
You've got enough on your plate. Let Fiddelin do the spiritual legwork for you. At transcendental medication, we sonically condense the biodharmic vibrations of over 1,000 monk chants into every pill.
Fiddelin Announcer:
Scienspritific audiologists have found that vibration from a monk's throat doesn't radiate in megaheartz but in megahearts.
Jamician Atom:
COME TO JAMAICA!
Fiddelin Announcer:
If not now, when? If not it, what? If not things, stuff? Side effects include wetmouth, plaid blood, frozen day rate, herniated monsterism, taint mishbehaving, urethral scremage, global colostomy face, wrongbody, restless lung syndrome, and sexual diarrhea. Do not wake the sleeping yellow dragon.
Fiddelin Announcer:
Who says you can't find purity in a pill? Tune in to Fiddelin with your soul.
