[Jon judges which contestant will be Jon's best friend]
Contestant #443:
Man, this sandwich from Nicky's is awesome! Sure wish I could take it to the rage cage. Or the bone zone! Pffrt!
Susan Shapiro:
If I may, t-that's just a little kiss-assy.
Contestant #978:
I really badly want to be your friend.
The Glaze:
And can I just find out -- What happened to your last best friend?
Contestant #978:
My last best friend, uh, was murdered.
Susan Shapiro:
I'm sorry.
Jon:
Very sorry to hear that.
Contestant #182:
Well, a lot of people tell me that from this angle I look like John Cougar Mellencamp. And that, uh, from this side, it's Kid Rock. What do you think, Jon?
David:
Yeah. I -- I don't know. He just sort of creeps me out.
Jon:
[to 182] Take a walk, beantown.
Jon:
Can you tell us what you bring to the table as far as being my best friend?
Contestant #524:
Hoops. We could go out and shoot hoops together.
Jon:
I like hoops.
Contestant #146:
[playing air guitar with no audio] That's, um, "Whenever I Call You Friend"...by Kenny Loggins.
Jon:
[to 773] And can you tell us why you think you're qualified to be my best friend?
Contestant #773:
[does some sick dance moves]