Timothyj.29104's Quotes Page #114

Here's the list of quotes submitted by timothyj.29104  —  There are currently 6,261 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Frank Smith:
So I had a pocket knife out -- I was scared from the slapping, you know? And then I felt this hand on my shoulder, and I stabbed first and questioned later. And it turned out it was my neighbor.

Steve Smith:
Oh, the girl with the shorts.

Frank Smith:
[scoffs] No! You pervert! Bobby! He had my FedEx package that he didn't want stolen. He's so sweet.

[Frank then knocks on Bobby's door]

Bobby:
[opens door] Now, Frank, before you go saying anything, I should have never snuck up on you.

[Frank quickly stabs Bobby, then runs away]

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Steve Smith:
Ah, I missed a call from Gwen. Frank, I don't care about this.

Frank Smith:
Oh, you'll care when you hear that I got mugged right here. yeah, I got my face slapped and my money taken.

Steve Smith:
Well, little dog, I don't see any muggers, so...

[Steve slaps Frank to get another dollar from him, and tries to do the same thing again]

Frank Smith:
Don't! You'll throw it all off.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Flip Flop:
'Sup, dawg? I need a snackdown.

Baby Cakes:
Well, snack down on your future.

[Flip Flop tries one of Baby Cakes' new candy bars]

Flip Flop:
Ketchup? [bites] Oh, word, this is tight!

Baby Cakes:
You f***ing know it is.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Sandra Bullock:
There's that stupid whale. Can't wait to trap his ass.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Frank Smith:
Next I saw, "Trap Willy," the "Free Willy" prequel.

[Steve looks at him in a "are you serious" kind of way]

Frank Smith:
What?! The post featured Sandra Bullock in a wet suit! Thought she was gonna be sexy in the movie.

Steve Smith:
You know what, I can see that logic.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Frank Smith:
Okay, so when I left [groans] I had to take an emergency crap by my car. Right there. So I looked up and I saw a girl getting into her car and she me [bleep] Oh, I'll never be able to crap in front of her again! Oh! Oh! The margs want out!

Steve Smith:
[chuckles] Keep it in. Keep it in. let me think, uh...okay, what was she wearing?

Frank Smith:
[groans] I don't know, man. She was wearing, like, a red polo and khakis. [farts] Hey, aaaah!

Steve Smith:
Bullseye. [chuckles]

[Steve literally points to a store that says Bullseye]

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Frank Smith:
So...next I get real sick real quick and I -- I just threw up right there.

Steve Smith:
So then what? You left?

Frank Smith:
No, I had two more margs.

Steve Smith:
Well, have fun repeating that sh*t.

Frank Smith:
Exactly. [vomits]

Steve Smith:
Ew! Get it all out.

Kim:
Ah, Professor Smith, you did this last night. What's wrong with you, man? You're mental!

Frank Smith:
Another round.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Steve Smith:
[to the waitress] I'm so glad you're here, because you and me, male waitress kind of make the food taste bad.

Frank Smith:
HEY!

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[Baby Cakes' new candy bars got failed from the Perk-A-Boo company]

Steve Smith:
So how'd your pitch go?

Baby Cakes:
Those jerks. They maced me at the front gate! Anyway, I'm still making them. This idea's f***ing gold.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Baby Cakes:
Jetta, I need my depression potion.

Jetta:
Already on it.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Pony:
Hey, Steve, do you think that young guys want me still?

Steve Smith:
[chuckles] No, they want you wiggling.

Pony:
So what about you? Did you get consent to f*** that student I saw you with?

Steve Smith:
Ah, it's a slow boil.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Spider:
Jetta, where is the f***ing merlot?

Jetta:
Spider, you'll get your merlot when you stop asking with your asshole.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Pony:
Well, listen, I know this great place for lunch saki and it's just over -- OW! MY BACK! SH*T!

Flip Flop:
[walks by to Matt] Oh, man, told you.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Steve Smith:
Man, I wish I had met your Mom. She sounds so great.

Gwen:
She is awesome -- Really creative. My Dad, though -- Ugh.

Steve Smith:
Hey...he'd be proud to know that his little girl is being understood on a deep level by a man somewhere near his age.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Crystal:
Yes, I am a Spanish teacher, but I'm also helping the History Department get their sh*t together.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Pony:
Hey, I take sweeteners from restaurants, too. I do it because I'm poor, and you do it because... [sees Sammy putting sweetener onto her armpits] Oh, because you're super gross.

Sammy:
Oh, we got lots in common, I hasten to bet.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Sammy:
Just make my printer do, then you gotta reload my sleeve with tissues.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Pony:
Oh, yeah, I've done this happy hour for, like, ever with Frank and B.C. and Steve. [chuckles]

Matt Attack:
Those bald dudes? Yeah, that guy Flip Flop said you was old and stuff. Maybe were an old soul or something.

[Pony then puts her hair on Matt's hand]

Matt Attack:
Alright, you got your bristles on me, you tickling me. That's nice.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Sammy:
Hold it! I need -- [can't stop her wheelchair] Oh, lord, not another 9/11! [bumps into an desk] Oh, sh*t.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[Baby Cakes makes a presentation for a new snack bars]

Baby Cakes:
"Have you ever found yourself in need of a snack between snacks? Or when you go to purchase an energy bar, every [bleep] one is the sugar flavor? BEHOLD. Meaty Saucy Energy Bary-S. I got Barb-B-Quetion, Chinese Chik-A-Chik, and Captain Ketchup.

Pony:
Those are...don't make sense.

Baby Cakes:
Exactly. You know the Perk-A-Boo! Energy bar machines on campus? Well, I'm gonna go to their offices right the f*** now. [leaves]

Steve Smith:
Oh, man, that kid is really just gonna stab us in our beds one night. You can see that, right?

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Baby Cakes:
What's up, guys? How's all y'all's first day?

Steve Smith:
Baby Cakes, you weren't in my class. You know you're enrolled, like, for the 12th time.

Baby Cakes:
Who cares?

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Frank Smith:
So, the Market Revolution changed America and the world -- Your world...irrevocably. So, what did you think? I mean, that's the end. That's all I got.

Wendeloquence:
[vomits]

[the next day]

Frank Smith:
Dudes, so far, my kids are loving me. I'm killing them...oh, so softly.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

Steve Smith:
And that's why I kayak. I mean, it's not for everyone, but, I mean, what is, really?

Pemsy:
I -- This is supposed to be a course on Nafta, so I don't see why we're drinking.

Steve Smith:
Let me ask -- What do they call things like you back home?

Pemsy:
Pemsy.

Steve Smith:
Okay, I get it now. You've got that name, you got that face, so you got to play it serious and get good grades. But, Pemsy, baby, it's not worth it if everyone thinks you suck, and they clearly do, so chew on that.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

[Matt Attack sees Sammy for the first time]

Matt Attack:
That little lady look like a california raisin. She's ancient.

Flip Flop:
Oh, this comin' from the guy who got that old senior's number today.

Matt Attack:
Wait, Pony's old? [checks his phone]

Sammy:
Boys, close your cunnilinguses.

– China, Il  Movie Quote

added 4 months ago

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