Judge Carol Chen:
So...we're here to dis...cuss the parental right for David. Is that right?
Bryce Grieke:
Yes, that's right. My client is seeking a legal emancipation from his father, who has a dishonest and dangerous influence on this young man.
Judge Carol Chen:
Do you have evidence of this?
David:
Absolutely.
Bryce Grieke:
Exhibit A. This is a pair of what Jon refers to as bone phones. These are for David so that he cannot hear his father having sex.
Jon:
Seems pretty considerate, your honor. I am very loud when I bone. [moans passionately]
Judge Carol Chen:
Fine. Thank you.
Jon:
[still moaning] Oh, yeah! Suck that.
Bryce Grieke:
That's what the bone phones are for.
Judge Carol Chen:
Mm-hmm.
Bryce Grieke:
Mm-hmm.
Bryce Grieke:
This is Exhibit B right here. This is the fully customized potato skins bar that caused --
Jon:
Boom!
Bryce Grieke:
Yeah.
Jon:
Check it out! That thing is mint.
Bryce Grieke:
Maybe.
Jon:
Cherry.
Bryce Grieke:
Well, the issue here is that the bulk of Jon's fortune comes from an insurance policy which was willed to David by his late mother. So, legally, Jon can only spend that money if it's to provide care for David. Now, I don't see how that's accomplished with a, uh...customized potato skins bar.
Jon:
Your honor, may I approach the bench, please?
Judge Carol Chen:
There's no bench.
Jon:
May I have a side bench, please? Side bench. Your honor, I'm sorry. Look, we both know how justice works in Chinesetown, and I think we need to move this along so we can all Wang Cho tonight. Right?
Jon:
So, um, I will respectfully bow to any verdict you lay down for either side so that we may nip this case in the bud.
Judge Carol Chen:
I rule in favor of the plaintiff.
Jon:
Yeah.
Judge Carol Chen:
I grant full emancipation, and that includes all finances.
Jon:
Tough break, guys. Maybe next time.
Judge Carol Chen:
I rule in favor of the plaintiff.
Jon:
Plaintiff.
Bryce Grieke:
No, D-David brought the complaint.
Judge Carol Chen:
[to Jon] You're the defendant.
