[Bert and Tammy takes Demon Baby at a play date]
Tammy:
Look at that. They're sharing.
[Demon Baby stings one of the other babies]
Bert:
Good hustle. Good hustle. Way to mix it up.
Tammy:
He's such a little jock. DOMINATE! THIS IS YOUR HOUSE!
Woman:
Hey, uh, yeah, ah -- I don't want to be one of those overbearing parents, but would it be too much trouble to ask if --
Bert:
Hey, lady, it would be too much to ask, you know? 'Cause your kid needs to step up his game.
Tammy:
[mocking] "Oh, I can't handle venom".
Bert:
[mocking] "Oh, boo-hoo-hoo. Oh, who wants to go to the hospital? Me, me, me". That's you. That's your kid.
Demon Baby:
[growls]
Woman:
Um...why is your baby staring at my crotch?
Bert:
Well, obviously you're menstruating.
Tammy:
He can smell that from a mile away. [to Bert] Just like his father.
[Demon Baby tackles and stings Woman]
Tammy:
You have to let them explore and discover on their own.
Bert:
Hey, you handle your own kid and we'll hand ours, alright?
Tammy:
I don't like the schools in this district.
Bert:
I don't like schools at all.
Tammy:
I want to see what school is like so he can drop out on his own -- You know, make his own mistakes.
Bert:
And he hasn't made one yet.
Tammy:
[laughing] I know. He's a f***ing miracle.