Frankie's Daughter:
Daddy!
Frankie:
Honey, I've been moved by a beast. Come, sit. You're 16 now, and I know you've had sex.
Frankie's Daughter:
Of course. You know that, Daddy.
Frankie:
Well, we're Christians, and I want you to sign a revirgination pledge to me and the big man upstairs.
[Xavier's brain juice memory ends]
Xavier:
[thinking] Who are these people? Where did June go? I vow to see her again. [grunts] Vow locked in!
Frankie:
I got a contract at church.
Frankie's Daughter:
Oh, neat. Let me see.
Frankie:
No need to read every word, honey. It's all standard language. Boilerplate. It just says you vow to be a born-again virgin and never have sex out of wedlock.
Frankie's Daughter:
Sure, daddy.
Frankie:
And initial here and here. Bite down on this. And write your measurements.
Frankie's Daughter:
I'm a virgin again.
Frankie:
Not yet.
Hymen Guy:
[knock on door] Hymen guy.
Frankie:
Oh, good. He's here.
Hymen Guy:
[comes in] Hymen Guy.
Frankie's Daughter:
Who's this?
Frankie:
You wanted to be a virgin again. He's gonna make that dream a reality.
Frankie's Daughter:
But I don't want a new hymen. I want to go out.
Frankie:
You should have read the contract.
Hymen Guy:
Now, you got a bunch of choices. We got the Tropical Beach. That's pina colada-cherry flavored. We got the Growler, the Gobbler, Fangs for the ovaries. We got the Apple Dumpling Gang, signed by Don Knotts himself. The French Tickler for her pleasure and his au bon pain. We got the Nature's Candy, made from recycled elephant hymen and raisins. The Gray Lady. It really delivers. This is the Rice Rocket. You don't want it. It's jap crap. The We Shall Overcome. The Mud Flaps. Turn it inside out. It's a duvet. Moons over my h-ovaries. That's an anal hymen. The Lox Box, for frigid jews. They all come with the free banana, except for the We Shall Overcome.
Frankie:
We want the basic model. Nothing fancy. Standard double-wide.
Frankie's Daughter:
Daddy, this one has an mp3 player. Can I?
Frankie:
I could never say no to a virgin.
